homesick forever

Bear with me on this one:

So, I can’t stop thinking about Lance’s homesickness for Earth-it‘s forever burned into the back of my brain. I mean come on, we all felt that pain, we all wanted Lance to stand in the rain just one more time. IT WAS EMOTIONAL, PEOPLE.

And then of course we all remember when they did the mind meld thing and it showed Lance thinking about his family. You can’t tell me that he doesn’t miss them, too. I mean, full on tears and sobs and snot bubbles sometimes, when he really lets himself think about it. Like it causes him physical pain because his heart is just that big. Every time I think about Lance like that, it gives me physical pain. In an attempt to make myself feel better, I throw Keith into the mix.

Imagine Keith going into Lance’s room, okay? He wants to talk about his piloting or maybe there’s a team meeting, or whatever. And he walks in right in the middle of Lance’s breakdown.

Lance would just wipe away his tears and turn his head away. “Yeah, sure I’ll be there in a minute.” Acts like he wasn’t just balling his eyes out.

Keith, being the emotionally constipated walrus he is, brushes it off and leaves. But then as the day goes by, after he really starts to think about it, he realizes: oh shit. He messed up. And he can’t get it out of his head. 

So, after a really long day of being defenders of the universe and they’re all in their respective rooms, Keith decides to go see Lance again. This time when he comes in, Lance is just laying down on his bed, sitting up when he notices Keith in the doorway.

Again, Keith is emotionally constipated, so it takes him a moment to spit out what he wants to say. When it’s finally out there (”Look, I know we haven’t really been the closest, but you can talk to me. About anything.”) Lance blows him off, a bit rude (”Believe me, I don’t need to talk to you about anything.”)

Keith sighs and starts to walk away, thinking, Fine. Last time I try and do anything nice. But Lance stops him before he leaves.

His voice is hushed when he starts to talk about it. Keith walks over and sits down on the bed, opposite side of the other paladin (who I will always think of as the blue paladin.)

Lance just vents about missing home, telling Keith, who is a surprisingly good listener, stories about his mom’s cooking or stupid things he did with his brother when they were young. 

I just

Ugggghhhhhhh

gif not mine

Here are some really random things college has taught me:
  1. Homesickness does not last forever, the quickest cure is a good cry, a call to your mom, and then making yourself go out and DO SOMETHING.
  2. You friends change in college. This doesn’t mean they aren’t still your friends. Sit down, look at yourself, you’ve changed too haven’t you?
  3. The boy you keep overlooking as “just a friend” is probably the one who is going to treat you like a queen. Try looking at him a bit differently one day, see if your view of him drastically changes.
  4. Exes can be friends, exes can even be best friends. If enough time passes then you can try to make it work. But never settle for a misogynistic ex as a friend, they only want you for your body, I promise. 
  5. Boys will never be as good to you as you can be to yourself. Read that again, memorize it.
  6. Alone time is good, but to much of it is poisonous. 
  7. It is okay to get lonely. 
  8. Crying is healthy. 
  9. Procrastinating is okay sometimes, but don’t continuously do it. All you’ll end up doing is adding to your stress. 
  10. The best new years eve you’ve ever had could very well be spent crying on your bed with girls who up until that point you didn’t realize how much you loved. 
  11. People will pull away from you in college, not always on purpose, don’t hold it against them or hate them for it. Give them time to come back. If they don’t, let them go peacefully. 
  12. You will get close with people from high school that barely talked to you. Sometimes these meetings happen at college, sometimes they happen via a random drunken call at 2am that starts an amazing friendship. 
  13. Confide in people, but never confide in them more than you confide in yourself. 
  14. Trust your gut, but sometimes take a little time before you react to your gut feeling. 
  15. Being a feminist is a great thing. 
  16. Standing up for yourself against men who say things you don’t agree with is an even greater thing. 
  17. Have sex with whoever you want and however much you want, BUT BE SAFE ABOUT IT. 
  18. Sometimes the best roommates are the ones you didn’t pick to live with. 
  19. Sometimes the worst roommates are the ones that you did pick to live with. 
  20. That the best way to be happy is to just wake up one morning and decide “I’m going to be happy.” and then going out and doing exactly that.  
I hope you think of me when you are miles away and missing home. And I promise, I will do the same.
—  11:06pm thoughts// I’m always here
I guess sometimes you lose yourself in others. In loved ones. And you make of them something else than they should be. You make of them too much. They’re just people. People who are here for you and care for you. But you can’t make a home of them. You can’t make a haven of them. Because then, what will you be when they aren’t around? Forever homesick? It’s not healthy.
You are your own home.  And you let others come into your home. But you don’t let them take over. And you don’t burden them with the responsibility of being something they can’t and aren’t supposed to be.
—  AlexJ