homer simpson this is your wife

Episode Thoughts

- We now return to Not Wicked already in progress.

- Leading us into Operation: Shoehorn Zelena into a plot she has nothing to do with.

- No friends? Wasn’t Zelena just casually hanging out with the heroes a week or two ago?

- Pancakes will never replace Tacos, Ouat.

‘Piece of wand’, I’m pretty sure Regina wanted to say ‘Piece of shit’ there.

-  Snow: ‘This wedding plot is happening! I don’t care if we haven’t solved or even worked on the current plot!’

- Rumbellers, we now have 2, count em, TWO hugs this season! Aw, we’re a desperate, but fortunately less bitter than usual, bunch.

- And Rumbelle takes turns making out with Blue in an attempt to wake her.

- Sorcerer’s Mansion, aka the Rumbelle Hump-Hut.

- Omg, those are the first pants Belle has ever worn that haven’t been tights or hot pants.

- And the show puts Belle back into her standard duty of watching over everyone else’s spawn. Which I’m sure isn’t awkward at all with her sped up pregnancy and own baby being subsequently kidnapped afterwards.

- Um, thanks for pulling a gun on me, Grandpa Charming. 

- Cool, he’s turning into Cyborg?

- You were freakin’ at the hero’s table like two episodes ago, Zelena!

- Snow wanting to hold the reception at Granny’s reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Homer wanted to use Moe’s tavern for his daughter’s wedding.

- But then, they are limited in sets and I guess holding the wedding at Gold’s shop is off the table for the moment.

‘You dated Frankenstein!’ Yeah, well, you were doing your fake wife while under the curse, stop being so judgy, Charming.

- Trapped, like hell! You two can both smoke-teleport out of places!

- Ah, lion-mauling. Once has grown tired of knife stabbing.

- Oh, a fresh batch of magic crystal dildos!

- And someone’s been stealing from Frozen’s set design, I see.

‘I shall end you once and for all, lady I just met this morning!’

- Suddenly they have an endless supply of magic beans! And somewhere Rumple repeatedly slams his head against a wall.

‘David, your future son-in-law killed your dad, get over it!’

- Finally, some common sense has leaked its way into the episode, thank you, Charming.

- Yeah, Belle can babysit anytime. Not like she’s involved into any plots involving her kidnapped-tortured-controlled son or anything….

- Oh, don’t bother with the wand, Zelena. Just grab one of the dozen of magic beans now available in Storybrooke. Oh, but I guess the tornado is the safer way to travel for you and your infant.

- And shockingly, a black character suffers a terrible fate/death on Once Upon a Time. Didn’t see that coming.

- Way to squeal, Zelena. Somewhere Snow wipes away a proud tear.

- Tough luck, Blue is now property of Gold’s shop. Rumple is charging 25 cents for the local townspeople to get their picture taken with a Comatose Fairy.

  • “Peoples’ Choice Award" is America’s greatest honor.
  • Styrofoam is not made from kittens.
  • The U.F.O. was a paper plate.
  • The nerds on the internet are not geeks.
  • The word "cheese” is not funny in and of itself.
  • The older Flanders boy is Todd, not Rod.
  • Lyndon Johnsons did not provide the voice of Yosemite Sam.
  • If you are reading this you have no life.
  • Roy Rogers was not buried inside his horse.
  • The other U.F.O was an upside-down salad spinner.
  • Our universities are not “Hotbeds” of anything.
  • Mr. Dershowitz did not literally have four eyes.
  • Our viewers are not pathetic food tubes.
  • Audrey Hepburn never weighed 400 pounds.
  • The “Cheers” gang is not a real gang.
  • Salt water does not “chase the thirsties away”.
  • Licking an electrical outlet will not turn you into a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger.
  • Cats do not eventually turn into dogs.
  • Bullets do not bounce off fat guys.
  • Recycling does not deplete the ozone.
  • Everything is 10% fruite juice.
  • The flesh eating virus does not hide in ice cream.
  • Janet Reno is evil.
  • V8 fruit juice is 1/8 gasoline.
  • Ted Koppel is a robot.
  • Women aren’t from Venus and men aren’t from Mars.
  • Fleiss does floss.
  • Quayle is familiar with common bathroom procedures.
  • Bart is bad to the bone.
  • Godfry Jones’ wife is cheating on him.
  • The Beetles haven’t reunited to enter kickboxing competitions.
  • The “Bug” on your TV screen can see into your home.
  • Everyone on TV is better than you.
  • The people who are writing this have no life.

The Simpsons - Season 6 Episode 9 - Homer Badman