homemade machine

Beauty and the Beast 2017: My Thoughts on the Title Characters

I have so many thoughts on this movie that I couldn’t smash all of them into one succinct review, so I’m going to compartmentalize a bit. This is just what I thought of Belle and the Beast and their relationship.

These are my initial thoughts after seeing it once, and as I have more time for everything to sink in, and to see it a second time, I may have more/different thoughts. Spoilers, so don’t read under the cut if you haven’t seen it yet!

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Professor Layton Drinking Game:

Drink once if:

-The mystery is based around ‘an ancient legend’ so that Layton’s degree can come in handy

-The hint you paid 3 coins for is something like: ‘try looking at it in a different way!”

-Character hides behind the opaque section of the DS

-Prevalent side character has an annoying verbal tick

-No-one reacts appropriately to the discovery that Luke can talk to animals

-Obvious out of place CGI in a cut scene

-Snobbish town Bureaucrats make everything more difficult and require you to have solved x number of puzzles to continue 

-Someone uses the phrase ‘a true gentleman’

-Layton’s hat inexplicably stays on during an action scene

-A puzzle ‘clears your mind’ during an intense moment

-You’re allowed to exit an incredibly pressing situation to solve more puzzles

-You’re trapped by a lock that can be opened with a puzzle

Drink twice if:

-Pretty female side character appears  at the end and holds the key to the mystery

-”LAAAAYTOOON!” 

-Layton uses a homemade flying  machine

-Don Paolo takes off impossible latex disguise

-Layton happens to be an expert  at the niche skill that is required at a crucial moment

-Any moment of tension that involves Descole is destroyed by the fact that he’s wearing a feather boa

-There’s a swordfight

Finish the bottle if:

-The town doesn’t actually exist

-Climax involves a giant machine that threatens to destroy everything

-Someone graciously accepts death

-The ending makes you cry

Imagine how awkward it would be if Maxson asked Sole for a tour of their ‘residence’

Maxson sends a scribe ahead to tell them they’re arriving a few days early and Sole is running around Sanctuary throwing Nick, Curie and X6 in the broom closet, putting a lampshade on Hancock and commanding him to stand in the corner of the room, sending Strong on the first provisioner brahmin direct to Abernathy Farms and commanding Sole’s legion of homemade sentient killing machines to tear down the giant light-panel ‘GHOUL FUCKER’ sign from above their house

'Phew, another day of being 100% supportive of our noble cause… Ad Victoriam!’