Today is Bruce Wayne's birthday!
So to honor the Batdad’s b-day, here are some headcanons about how his birthday goes:
- The second he woke up he was met with every single one of his kids and honorary kids in his bed screaming “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” to him at the top of their lungs.
- Cass, Steph, Dick, Bans, Harper, and Duke all have him huge hugs, practically pinning him to the bed with the strength of their snuggles. Jason just punched him in the face, claiming it was a birthday punch, but Bruce could see the small smile on his face. Tim didn’t go in for a hug right away and was kind of awkward, but he did hand Bruce the homemade card they all helped to make, and Bruce gave him a small kiss on the head. Damian was stiff as usual, but he did hug Bruce for .2 seconds only when he was positive nobody was looking.
- So. Many. Old jokes. The whole day his kids were making comments and jokes about how old he is and that any normal guy his age would be carrying a cane and wearing glasses, not beating up criminals every night.
- Jason bought him a jug of prune juice and a crowbar for his gift.
- The Waynes threw a huge party at the manor, where the batkids got into all sorts of trouble like “accidentally” tripping Damian and making him fall face first into the birthday cake.
- Somehow all the rogues found out about Batman’s birthday, (Bruce suspects Selina told them, but he has no proof), and so when he went on patrol, he was met by all of his villains not committing crimes like he’d assumed, but instead hosting a birthday party for him??
- Harley even baked him a cake shaped like the batsignal, and it only had a tiny bomb in it.
- It was awkward to attend a party with a bunch of supervillains, but at least the presents were good. Killer Croc knitted him a sweater, and Two Face gave him a Batman action figure. He was touched, to say the least.
- The entire batcave was decorated with the brightest and most colorful decorations they could find. Streamers hung from the giant dinosaur, Barbara changed the screen on the computer to only show pictures of Bruce photoshopped with a party hat, and Tim installed motion sensor confetti cannons so that one couldn’t walk five feet without being shot with confetti.
- Nobody really knew how old Bruce is. Tim thought it was 45, but Jason insisted it was at least 50. Damian just insists he’s old and says to leave it at that. So when they put candles on the devil’s food cake Alfred baked, they just bought a hundred candles and crammed them all on, deciding that as of now Bruce is 100. He was not amused.
- Tim made sure to inform him that he shares a birthday with Tumblr and that he should feel very honored.