Square Enix squashes DQ7 3DS fan translation ⊟ 

Remember how fans were creating an English patch for Dragon Quest VII’s 3DS port (also, remember how we got no Dragon Quest 3DS news out of E3? 😫)? Square Enix put a stop to that with a cease and desist order sent to the group. The project’s lead Apassingremark reported, “We are packing up shop and hoping that this means we will see a release from them in the coming months.“

I wouldn’t get my hopes up for an official release, as this looks like the publisher just protecting its property. While it’s an unfortunate end to a fan translation many of us were really excited about, professional translator Thomas James provides some insight behind Square Enix’s decision:

“The big thing about this translation effort is that it pretty much reused the original version’s localization part and parcel for all the legacy content that was there (much to my surprise, if you’ve read my thoughts on the technical logistics of projects like this).

That might seem like something obvious to do for a lot of people on games like that, but bear in mind that it makes such projects go from legally grey to just outright infringing existing copyrights, which makes the legal rationales of cease and desists that much more cut-and-dry.

If I had been on that project myself, I would have redone the entire translation from scratch to ensure maximum potential safety, as Square isn’t otherwise prone to shutting down fan translations for games it doesn’t actually intend to bring out.”

The fanart above comes from Nona.

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The Commodore 64? Yeah, it… runs(? More of a walk, really) Doom.

At some point in the deep dark depths of the past (read: 1996), someone looked at their trust old C64 and said “You know what, this is a pretty good old computer. But you know what would make it even gooder? If I took a 20 MHz CPU with 16mb of memory and jammed it right up in there to see what happens!” Turns out it kinda sorta worked, and so the SuperCPU was born!

Many years later, someone in Sweden came across this forbidden, forgotten, dark science, and given the recurring theme of this blog, you can probably guess what happened next.

This is a (more or less) direct build of the original ID software source code release with a hacked together tiny clib for the string/mem/math/etc functions it required.

While this Doom port isn’t meant to be taken seriously, it has proven quite useful for testing and improving the MIPS recompiler as Doom is a rather complex and large application.

Many thanks to durrsly for submitting this!

The story behind this impressive Snatcher demo for Virtual Boy is touching ⊟

It’s remarkable enough that German coder Thunderstruck ported a working Virtual Boy demo for Hideo Kojima’s cult classic Snatcher on the adventure game’s 25th anniversary of the console –  every image in the game has been converted to stereoscopic 3D for the Virtual Boy, and the port features a dynamic dialog system, PCM music and sound effects, a dynamic inventory system that reacts to people in the room, and more.

Thunderstruck’s motivation behind its creation, though, is bittersweet. The original idea came from another developer, Red Metal, who hoped to make a port of Snatcher for a coding competition at Planet Virtual Boy, but he unfortunately passed away before he could share any work.

“I had never talked to him but from his post I could tell that he was a very nice person,” said Thunderstruck on the Planet VB forum. “I felt like I missed my chance to get to know him. I tried to express that in a post but somehow my words felt meaningless to me.”

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Very early, experimental Xbox 360 emulators? Yeah, they run Doom. And Quake.

Xenia is an extremely early Xbox 360 emulation project that can actually kind of sort of run some retail games if you squint really hard. It has an easier job with homebrew, and what games are the most likely to get homebrew ports to jailbroken platforms? That’s right.

Looks a little blue, though.

Ofelia Alessandra Carlevari may come across as your average halfling teenager, but behind her Rumeskan Orthodox (think fantasy Catholic) schoolgirl facade resides her Asgardian heritage as the current incarnation of Hel, which grants her necromantic powers, the ability to communicate with spirits, and a bond with the legendary knife Famine and the legendary dish Hunger, which serve as both weapons and wise (albeit somewhat odd) companions, offering strategic advice and knowledge to the young and inexperienced heroine in her self-appointed war against crime, injustice and the untold monstrosities that perpetrate them, humanoid or otherwise.  

Ofelia loves adventure novels, loud music and her mama’s endless repertoire of pasta recipes. She plays defense in her school’s futbol team and dances like a dork when no one’s watching. 

The Altera DE2 FPGA Development and Education Board? Yeah, it runs Doom.

Sadly, the documentation and info has vanished from the internet while somehow avoiding the glare of the Wayback Machine, so here’s all we know: it was developed as a bachelor’s thesis for Tampere University of Technology’s department of computer systems, and the source code can be dug up here.

Thanks to Peter McCormick for saving the image, and Dorden for submitting this!

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((A little bit of worldbuilding!))

((So this week we’ve just started out on Patreon! We’re quite new to it and still figuring things out, so it will be getting better over time. Right now you might just get strips a little sooner? We were a little unsure about starting one for something silly and fun like this, but you know, it can’t hurt, and someone mentioned it was wanted so maybe other people think so too! If you’ve been throwing money at your screen but nothing’s been happening, this is a better way to do that.))

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Rose petals are the prettiest

Today on my lunch break I boiled down about 12 cups of fresh picked rosa rugosa petals to make wine. I won’t have time this weekend to actually make the wine so I thought I would boil down the petals before they went bad (they store in the refrigerator quite well, though) and start the wine next week.

Get a load of that pink. Once they’ve cooked the water is left with all that color, and that fresh picked flower smell. 

I’m bringing country wines back.

Updated Homebrew Class: The Pugilist

So I mentioned before that many of my classes were created before the Advanced Class Guide came out. At the time I wanted a fighter that fought well with his bare hands that wasn't doing it like a monk with quick attacks, but rather plowed through foes like a truck. Originally called the Brawler, the Pugilist came into being from that desire. Most of the updates have been actually to give you more variety in how it operates, but the core of the class has remained.


While many fighters prefer weapons, the pugilist needs none. He has his fist and they are as good as any hammer or morning star. Unlike a monk, who uses his fist with precision and strikes with quick strokes to shore up his damage over time, a pugilist smashes through whatever defense his opponent brings to bear against him with brute force. Typically lovers of a good drink and a great time, most of which includes a hearty bar fight; Pugilists are typically a more chaotic sort of person. The average laws of men don’t necessarily attract them as a whole.

Role: The pugilist is a frontline fighter who can take a lot of punishment and deal out even more than he can take. He is also a master at grappling with his foes.

Alignment: any non-lawful

Hit Die: D12

Skills: The Pugilist’s class skills are: Climb, Craft, Intimidate, Knowledge (Dungeoneering), Knowledge (Engineering), Knowledge (Local), Perception, Profession, Sense Motive, and Swim

Skill Ranks Per Level: 4 + INT modifier

Proficiencies: A pugilist is Proficient with any simple melee weapons, brass knuckles, and spiked gauntlets. He is proficient with light armor, but not with shields.

Fisticuff Fighter (Ex): A pugilist gains the Improved Unarmed Strike feat as a bonus feat. In addition, his unarmed strike damage increases based on his strength modifier. See the chart. In addition levels in pugilist count as fighter or monk levels for the purposes of selecting feats.

Tough Body (Ex): A pugilist may depend on his body to shrug off lesser attacks. He adds his constitution modifier to his armor class as a toughness bonus. In addition he may choose to add his constitution modifier to his CMD instead of his dexterity modifier.

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