home personal me

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
5

A few days over the horizon just waiting for us.

3

finding out that most of Fukurodani’s first instinct when it comes to Bokuto’s moods was to ignore and/or berate hurt my soul. I think the saddest part, though, is Bokuto tries not to be taken seriously. He feels so big, and when that big feeling is negative, he makes himself come off as comical. He’s coping, because the worst thing someone can do when you’re feeling something big, is ignore it. Neglect does terrible, terrible things to a person. He’s got to be hurting. 

But then, you have Akaashi. Who isn’t the nicest person, but he acknowledges Bokuto’s feelings? And actively tries to make Bokuto feel good? Akaashi practices with Bokuto when no one else on their team wants to. Akaashi is there, and he cares. 

Akaashi cares, and suddenly, Bokuto feels wanted. 

When you’ve been ignored for so long, having someone finally pay attention to you is unreal. 

I’m so happy they have each other.  

[also im obsessed w the Hunchback of Notre Dame and this song can fit in a lot of contexts] 

Ellie my child… oh God, you know there is a fuckening shitstorm brewing for this woman

“I dreamt I was at Axehampton, lying by the waterfall”

And every single episode brings us closer and closer to Joe

Then there’s her dad and kiddos and the problems with Tom

And her personal grief, the way she can relate to Trish’s needs, and what happened to her, and how she’s so traumatised by what men have done and hiding it behind this wall of anger

And SHE KEEPS WALKING HOME ALONE AT NIGHT.

something bad is going to happen to ellie and when it does I’m going to defenestrate myself

…and you tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.
—  Warsan Shire, “For Women Who Are Difficult to Love”