home in my heart

your heart is my home

How soon we forget the smell of survival,
we are buried again in the darkness.
we find skeletons and skulls digging arabian treasures,
we find children building sand castles,
we carved cracked memories
and dead muggle bones for so long,
that my hands transformed roses in ashes, at the touch
alchemy was in blue blood time the desolate nest of wizards,
and your heart is my home as long as you curl
reciting Oscar Wilde’s poetry on my chest
and sweet zephyrs unfurls the sound of magic dreams
in my soul.

~A home in you~

You never left my mind
not even when you denied 
the mere fact of my existence. 
Thoughts of you flow within—
a disarray of emotions,
a river of confusions,
trying to build 
a world of delusions?
Questions left unanswered,
marks engraved on our hearts,
stains painted upon our clothes,
my home on the verge of decompose?

You never left my heart
not even when it was crumbling,
not even when I was so lost
that all I could do was mumbling;
Ever since I met you
my heart knew
my home
was going to be
To have a house
is one thing,
but alas,
to have a home,
a home,
what a blessing that is!
only the lucky few
know how it feels
to have a home,
a home
(in you,
in you…)

Even if now you’ve lost your way,
Don’t, please, don’t lose faith too;
It can still be okay,
even if now you’re crawling,
you’re still young,
you’re still tough 
to do the calling—
call upon your angels,
call upon your heart,
call upon your strength,
your shining light,
just don’t,
don’t abandon the fight!
Stand up and find your path,
don’t drown in your wrath;
Rise, rise up,
(re)find your path
(re)create yourself…

Believe me,
you can,
you can.




Heyo, Seattle women’s march was insane. Unfortunately the organizers sort of missed the mark (suggested a silent/quiet march, didn’t really have anything going on at the end of the march), but honestly, the marchers were great. Signs were great, folks were helping each other out, and there were kids everywhere! Nothing warms my heart like politically active children.

Getting home, the buses weren’t running where I needed to go, so me and three other women, none of whom knew each other or me, gathered together to get a lyft to a place close to where we all needed to go. Turns out when we work together, problems get solved. 👌

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.