holy-frick

One of these days I’ll be able to look at my activity feed and not feel a spike of anxiety at realizing there’s that many of you out there looking in at my little fishbowl bubble on the internet, but today is not that day.

Hello, trashcans, welcome home, I’m the vampire editor person who just wants to rest.  If you’re here for more Death smut, food discourse and or shitposting then boy have I got some good news for you.

I’m currently working on about a million and one writing projects, exerts of which can be found under various different tags, the most prolific probably being #Hunger Pangs and #the vampire werewolf thing. (ie the polyamorous paranormal romance erotica between vampires and werewolves (very NSFW extract) which already has it’s own AU despite not being published yet, as well as a gritty Scottish romance novella (extract) based on a pun, a pun based bakery romance (extract), a pun based werewolf Scottish romance (have you noticed a theme yet), and  a modern day romantic (probably smutty, I mean who am I kidding at this point) comedy concerning Scotsmen with questionable morals. Also skeleton smut now too and possibly a vampire wedding planner romcom because apparently I have lost control of my life. 

If you’re completely new here you might notice some people calling me “mom” or other variations therein of familial relation. It’s perfectly okay to greet me as “mom” or “tumblr mom” even if we’re not mutuals or we haven’t spoken yet, I’m so used to it at this point I even respond to it in public. ‘Cause that’s a thing that’s happened more than once.

Please have patience if you are sending me asks or IMs. I am but a humble smut peddler with chronic health issues who somehow ended up with a high traffic blog, and a loving and devoted tumblr family. I try to answer everyone, but sometimes things get left behind. Sorry. If you get tired of seeing my health posts, you may wish to blacklist the following tags: #chronic health tag & #chronic health tag: teeth, that way I can bitch and moan into the void and you don’t have to put up with me if you don’t want to.

I hope whatever made you click on me was worth it and you enjoy the content. I try to make this blog as safe as possible for everyone. All smutty content is clearly tagged and under cuts, and if you need me to tag something for trigger purposes, please let me know, I will be more than happy to do so.

Other than that, welcome, hope you’re having a good day and don’t be afraid to come say hi <3

Some more Kolivan headcanons, feel free to use them as inspo!!

part 1 part 2

-really good cook

-hums while he cooks

-loves training with the paladins bc it takes all of them to take him down and he likes seeing them celebrate when they finally do

-Kolivan at the bottom of a paladin pile *purrs proudly*

-Keith gets him into green tea bc its very relaxing (caffeine has the opposite effect on Galra as it does to humans)

-uses questionable tactics when training the paladins

-*Lance is doing target practice but he’s nervous and missing a lot*

-Kolivan walks over, talks him through the finer points of his form and getting comfortable with his weapon, tells him to relax and close his eyes

-“on my mark, open your eyes and fire… Now!”

-Lance opens his eyes just as Kolivan throws his blade straight at Pidge

-Lance shoots, the blade goes clattering to the floor, he proceeds to start screaming at Kolivan

- “if I did not have confidence that you would be able to hit a small, moving target after only a moment’s recognition then I would not have done it, she was never in real danger”

-basically clues into the simple fact that humans are usually more focussed on their peers’ safety than their own, a trait not as natural to Galra that earns his admiration

-loves kids, like really really loves kids bc they’re so innocent and pure

-very proud of his braid

-a tough but also surprisingly gentle tutor

-will push you to the breaking point, just a little farther, then sit down and have a heart to heart

-Hunk is the only one who lasts more than 3 seconds against him alone

-loves hearing about Earth and Altea

-decides to teach Keith to read and speak Galra, Pidge joins bc it’s close enough to Altean for her to catch on quickly

-tries to look unimpressed when he hears Keith and Pidge using Galra curse words

-gets along surprisingly well with Coran

-Tolerant™

-“You don’t have to let Pidge climb on you all the time you know?”

-“Yes, I know.”

-basically if he and Pidge are in the same room together she’s probably either next to him or on his shoulders

-is not aware of what tickling is until he sees Hunk tickle-attack Lance

-Galra have claws y’all that shit would hurt if they did it

-loves chin scratches

-as a young man he was the Worst and all the stories died with Antok

-he was chosen by the previous leader to be his protege and spent the entirety of his youth making his mentor question that decision

-he sees a lot of his younger self in Keith, reckless, impulsive, rash and emotional but also very loyal and skilled

-the first time he touched Pidge’s equipment without her permission (he saw something that needed fixing) she tripped him and stood on his chest to yell at him

-once Lance and Hunk were being sent out on an ridiculously dangerous mission with Kolivan and Allura grabbed him by his shirt, shifted to be taller than him, and loudly declared that “my paladins had better return in one piece, their safety is the only reason you exist until you all get back am I clear?!”

-calmly “yes, Princess”

-Hunk and Lance “you let her do that?”

- “My father told me that a man never truly knows fear until he stands between a woman and her family. I intend to never know fear.”

-“It’s ok, she scares us too.”

Height of the monsters: Proof that Sans isn’t short, and the monsters are freaking huge

Let’s look at Asgore compared to some adult humans

Notice, he is a freaking giant compared to the humans

Let’s look at the other monsters compared to Asgore

Papyrus, Undyne and Toriel are taller than Asgore, who we’ve already established to be A FREAKING GIANT COMPARED TO HUMANS

But let’s focus on Sans.

The top of his head is about up to Asgore’s nose

So, then, Sans, compared to the adult humans, would be…

FREAKING HUGE, THAT’S WHAT HE’D BE!!!!

Look at this, his head is half the size of the human

Now, how big would Frisk be in comparison, then? Depending on Frisk’s age, he/she/they/zir/whichever-you-use could have been one of the following heights

Holy. Fricking. Frickity. Frick.

That would explain why Papyrus saw the rock before he saw Frisk. Frisk was probably so tiny, he escaped Papyrus’s attention.

I MEAN LOOK AT THIS!

They are all huge!!!! Frisk is like a kitten compared to their heights!

EDIT

Many people have pointed out I had accidently compared Sans to Asgore kneeling. I had made the correction, but people kept reblogging my original without the correction, so here it is:

Furthermore, people have pointed out Sans sprite is the same height as Frisk

HOWEVER, this Sprite chart shows Asriel as smaller than Chara, when in fact, it is canon that Chara was shorter than Asriel

Thus, I do not consider the overworld Sprites to be a reliable source for height.

How did everyone develop their OTP's?

There’s a big change in watching show/film, or reading a book and enjoying the dynamics of 2 characters…

to

Crying in bed at 3 in the morning because of a beautiful 100K+ fanfic…