holy strawberries

@Saito_Shuka:
I’m still in the middle of writing my blog post
And somehow my phone isn’t working properly
But I wanted you all to see this so I uploaded this 😌

Today, a seventy-plus year old neighbor gave me a welcome-to-the-neighborhood homemade strawberry-rhubarb pie, promised that she’d make me another belated birthday dessert, asked if her friends could use my driveway for their bi-weekly bridge night since there’s an overflow and the previous owner was okay with it, and then she offered to hook me up with her moonshine guy without prompting. All within about ten minutes.

I’m pretty sure I just have an intense neighbor who does not want her bridge games interrupted, but I may have also just accidentally joined a suburban gang. With moonshine and pie.

8

Okay, if y'all motherfuckers don’t know what Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt is, then I am ashamed of you and you are officially banned from life.

Before you can get unbanned, you have to watch this amazing fucking show.

Seriously, it’s so good that even the ENGLISH DUBS are amazing. 

Anyway, I relate a lot to both Panty AND Stocking, but one thing that I love about Stocking is that she’s just all about them motherfucking sweets. One thing she’s super obsessed with is this thing called ‘Heaven Pudding’. 

It’s like, hella good. So I decided to make my own version of it because I’m just wonderful like that. So get your pots and pans out and start picking up some eggs and vanilla cause we gon’ make some motherFUCKING HEAVEN PUDDING.

(progress pics will be added tomorrow)

~

Heaven Pudding
(servings: approximately 8 teacups/lil jars)

Ingredients for caramel bottom-

  • 1 cup sugar
  • 3 Tbsp water

Ingredients for custard pudding-

  • 2 cups and 1 Tbsp milk
  • 3 eggs
  • ½ cup sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • ½ vanilla bean (optional)

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Procedure for caramel topping-

  • Place the water and sugar in a small sauce pan and DO NOT STIR.
  • Turn the stove on to medium heat and let it cook until it’s browned and caramelized.**
  • Pour a little of the mixture into each teacup

**I prefer browning my sugar till it’s almost burnt, as it has a nice, less sweet, almost coffee like taste. The lighter you caramelize it, the sweeter it will be!!

Procedure for custard-

  • Whisk eggs and sugar in a bowl, let it rest while you boil the milk.
  • Put the milk on the stove over medium heat until it’s just about to boil, then little by little whisk it into the eggs. THIS SHIT IS FRAGILE OK, so don’t poor all of it in or you’ll literally end up with some shit tasting scrambled eggs. Unless you’re into that stuff then by all fucking means go wild.
  • Once all of the egg mixture and milk is combined, strain it with a sieve if you think there are some curdled egg bits in there. Once it’s strained, add the vanilla and the vanilla bean and mix to combine.
  • Pour as much as you can into each tea cup, not up to the brim dimshits, but close to that.
  • Preheat the oven to 350 F 
  • Get a baking pan, one that can fit all the teacups in, and pour hot water into the pan surrounding the teacups (and not the actual teacups, obviously), until it covers about ¾’s of the teacups outer part. 
  • Bake it for 40-45 minutes and rock out to the Panty and Stocking OST.
  • Remove from the oven and refrigerate for 5 hours or, preferably, overnight you impatient ho-nuggets.
  • Serve with whatever you want, but I usually serve it with some home made whipped cream and a strawberry

~

HOLY SHIT YOU JUST MADE SOME HEAVENLY FUCKING PUDDING. IN FANCY FUCKING TEACUPS. WOW. 

Now when your friends come over, they can be totally amazed at your impeccable pudding skills. 

Ok scratch that you probably don’t have any friends but that’s okay because you can at least show off your cool culinary techniques to your various semi-nude anime figures!

HAVE FUN BEING FANCY, NERDS, I’M OUT  

HOLY FUCKING STRAWBERRY SEEDS, FRIENDS. I GOT THE JOB!

The interview I mentioned a few days ago, it went well! I begin training this Friday :) Thank you so much for the warm wishes and luck sent my way ♡ This is a new phase of my life I’m more than ready to hop right into. Thank you again ♡ xxxx