holy shit i like to talk about myself

Voltron High School au, yay!! ( ๑ ❛ ڡ ❛ ๑ )

My procrastination level has increased holy shit. I consider myself as a pro.

This is my very first time drawing Voltron characters, a naked male upper body and coloured manga panels… I hope you guys will like the result öwö I bet he played football a lot as a child c: btw I’m talking about European football/soccer! It’s nothing special but I had to draw this~

Keith, Hunk and Lance enter the same high school. Keith wanted Hunk to join the karate club with him but he already signed up for the newly founded football club, led by his childhood friend Lance. He invited him since they used to play a lot as children. I would write a fic about this but I suck at writing, especially in English haha ;u;

I’m a sucker for “Holy shit I’m gay!”-moments lmao

I don’t like the idea of myself being in a relationship (sexual OR romantic) but by god do I love the idea of it and other people being in one like!! hell yes you found someone that makes you happy!! Thats so nice holy shit I just love when people talk about how much they adore their partner, they just get real soft and excited to talk about this person they love and its so!!! good!!! I hope they’re ‘the one’ to you and if not I hope you find ‘the one’ that just makes you happy!!

Requested by @lunarwolfspn : When the village finds out that you and Gaston slept together without being married to each other, they decide to make it clear of what they think of you. Gaston to the rescue, or actually.. you do that yourself.

Pairing: Gaston x Reader
Fandom: Disney ; Beauty and the Beast (2017)
Warnings: mentions of sex, but no actual nsfw stuff (soon, darlings, soon)

A/N: holy shit, my dudes, this wasn’t supposed to go the way it did, but I couldn’t help myself. My feminist ass decided to show itself and then this happened lol. hope you guys like it <33

                                                           *****

Nothing ever happened in towns like the one you were living in. At least nothing of grande importance.

But if something did happen, even if it was just the smallest thing, everyone was talking about it.

Every little mistake, every little failure or embarrassing moment? Everyone in the village would talk about it by the end of the night and they wouldn’t let you forget what you did/what happened for ages.

So when you left the house that morning and realized that everyone was disapprovingly looking at you and shaking their heads, you knew that somehow, everyone knew what happened last night. 

What you and Gaston did..

Keep reading

MAMAMOO 170303 CONCERT THOUGHTS

Wheebyul LOTS OF IT

Moonbyul sure likes getting on her knees in front of pretty girls aka Wheein aka every other song

Also there was a cool wheebyul dance for piano man where they interlocked the handles of their umbrellas and were swinging around

MOONSUN TOO Solar was getting teased by Moonbyul so she didn’t give her the water bottle and Moonbyul got sulky

Also they were writing on profile boards tags for the members and Moonbyul labeled Solar her soulmate~

The manito thing was adorable because the pairings were basically rap line and angel line.

Hwasa’s mission was to get Moonbyul tasty food from the convenience store and Moonbyul had to give Hyejin a ton of compliments

Solar was just cutely giving wheein hearts behind her back when the other girl wasn’t looking

But WHEEIN’S one was kind of hard and Solar gave her a lot of shit for it because her mission was just to be the most attentive when Solar talked and have a big reaction to when she talked

Okay fuckkkk 구치해 was amazing Moonbyul was fucking wearing a red velvet suit with what appeared to be a black silk button up and she just gave off such a cool vibe I was crying man

The song was kinda ballady but had such a nice feel I was enjoying myself the whole time and HER DANCE BREAK

Wheein was just adorable during her Say My Name part like holy holy shit but also damn fierce as hell

Also cracking up about the profile boards when Moonbyul was writing that she hoped that Solar would be a good granddaughter for JJing JJING which was hilarious

ALSO CONFIRMED WHEEIN CALLS GGOMO HER KID HE IS HER PRECIOUS BABY

Bruh the Immortal Song cover song was fucking amazing I was crying every time Moonbyul would like set the tone with a rap for the new song and I was shaking man that cover was absolutely spectacular

DONT GET ME STARTED ON DEFALCOMMANIE MAN OR MOONBYUL’S DANCE BREAK IN WOOHOO

And sighs okay I do have to say Mamamoo did purposefully darken their skin for their cover of Uptown Funk and ughhhhhhHHhh I love them but that wasn’t cool and I do not condone them for doing that. I think the Uptown Funk could have been really fun and they had some hilarious memes like Moonbyul dressed up as the weird meme guy with the fruits and Solar as squirttle but god did they have to do black face???? However I’m not black and I don’t wanna take up space here and speak for people about black face so if anyone wants to share their thoughts via ask or reblog I will happily post it!

(from Wild Space by Karen Miller)

OBI-WAN COMES BACK FROM HELL AND THE FIRST WORDS OUT OF PADME’S MOUTH ARE ABOUT HOW ANAKIN IS GOING TO BE SO MAD AT HIM

WHEN ANAKIN’S ACTUAL SPOUSE IS LIKE “HOLY SHIT YOU TWO ARE SO MARRIED” YOU KNOW THEY’RE REALLY FUCKING MARRIED

(Her head lowered then, and she fought a private, losing battle, OH MY GOD.)

pewds plays resident evil 7 ( sentence starters)

source [x]

  • “ ooh, it’s been a while since we’ve done one of these.”
  • “ sort of went down hill for a while, didn’t it?”
  • “ where did it all go wrong?”
  • “ i don’t know why i’m talking like i have something stuck up my ass.”
  • “ i am genuinely passionate about these things.”
  • “ hey, sometimes you gotta live hard, and… this doesn’t seem like one of those moments, actually.”
  • “ oh my god, it IS a nightmare!”
  • “ oh, dude, what the fuck?”
  • “ i’m trying really hard not to hype myself up for this.”
  • “ holy shit! that looks incredible.”
  • “ i’m just gonna go and guess - make a wild guess; s/he’s fucking dead.”
  • “ uh-uh. they’re always dead. horror rule number 45.”
  • “ now you can’t bitch about me talking too much.”
  • “ i like the car, very nice car.”
  • “ talking a lot, i’m getting a little nervous, i don’t know why.”
  • “ it’s fucking broad daylight. it’s just, woods fucking scare me… and mosquitoes.”
  • “ this is so fucking cool.”
  • “ okay, well, that’s not gonna work, is it? i suppose we can climb over.”
  • “ i don’t know why i always try the same things. i think i have a problem.”
  • “ okay, what would i do in this situation? i mean, i wouldn’t be in this situation because i’m a puss.”
  • “ we can’t enter the bushes.”
  • “ no this is where we came from. great, you’re a fucking genius.”
  • “ join us? no thank you, paper, but i appreciate the invite.”
  • “ bald man turn into a dead cow. what a mystery!”
  • “ oh, wow, now i see what it is.”
  • “ thank you for the gift, honey, oh my god, it’s so pretty.”
  • “ you know, when you see something like that, that’s generally like a good way to be like: you know what? is this bitch worth it?”
  • “ it’s all jokes. everyone calm down.”
  • “ yep, that’s me, all right.”
  • “ and we enter the point of no return.”
  • “ hey, we did it! high-five, bro.”
  • “ wow, haven’t you missed these moments?”
  • “ who closed the fucking door?”
  • “ that- that is another big warning sign.”
  • “ just so i feel safe, i’m gonna check if i can open it.”
  • “ all right, we can do this.”
  • “ is that- is that sad?”
  • “ okay, it’s fine. you know what? i’ve been in here before.”
  • “ it shouldn’t be any problem.”
  • “ what a lovely place.”
  • “ hey! microwaved… crows… my favorite. they taste… crunchy.”
  • “ why do i bother j– ueegh! ugh! ugh, close it! close it! ugh, disgusting!”
  • “ is there someone upstairs?”
  • “ i don’t like how defenseless i am.”
  • “ that’s some creepy fucking picture.”
  • “ what the fuck was that?”
  • “ i think we’re gonna have to go upstairs.”
  • “ i really didn’t wanna go upstairs, cause in every fucking horror movie ever, they die when they go upstairs.”
  • “ now, i’m not keen on dying, all right. not today at least.”
  • “ fuck, the shadow fucking scared me.”
  • “ jesus christ, i don’t like this.”
  • “ so you can make the stairs go upstairs? wow. that’s, uh… that’s a new one.”
  • “ this wasn’t here before, was it? … or was it? i don’t know.”
  • “ dude, i can fucking hear you.”
  • “ i go first.”
  • “ aw, dude, the food looks delicious.”
  • “ okay, sorry. my curiosity got the better of me.”
  • “ yeah, so don’t go in there.”
  • “ all right, you go first, my man.”
  • “ hey, good friend, you go first.”
  • “ your mom’s down here. that’s why it smells.”
  • “ and that’s my queue to get the fuck out. how about that?”
  • “ oh, i don’t like where this is going, not one fucking bit, i’m gonna be quite honest with you right now.”
  • “ ain’t no water killed anyone. unless lack of water counts.”
  • “ sorry, i’m on fucking edge.”
  • “ the faster we can get out of here, the faster i can go home.”
  • “ everything is fucking fine. AAH! jesus, we’re not fine!”
  • “ there’s no reason to be upset.”
  • “ i am a little bit upset.”
  • “ oh my god… oh my god, this is bad. this is very not good.”
  • “ am i crazy?”
  • “ okay, well, maybe that’s a good thing, i don’t know.”
  • “ i suppose we could technically go back, but…”
  • “ i don’t - i don’t feel very good.”
  • “ i would hang onto those bolt cutters if i were you.”
  • “ do not fucking jumpscare me, i swear to god…”
  • “ just- let’s go. let’s just go. we can catch up later..”
  • “ i guess– you know what? i said s/he would be dead, and i was wrong. and you know what? i want to apologize.”
  • “ hey, hey, hey, cables. not cables. anything but cables.”
  • “ why are y–? oh, god, what is that? what are those? they don’t look good.”
  • “ it’s a trap. it’s a trap!”
  • “ hey, look, my face is back. how about that?”
  • “ i don’t know what happened.”
  • “ you know when it’s tight corners, shit’s about to get fucked.”
  • “ let me guess, it’s locked, isn’t it? do you have the key?”
  • “ i don’t like this enthusiasm.”
  • “ hey, creepy dolls. A+, that’s just what i wanted right now.”
  • “ sorry, i’d rather play with dolls. i’m sorry, okay, i’m not afraid to admit that”
  • “ we’re fine, everything is great. this is great.”
  • “ what the fuck happened to the weather? i swear it was sunny a second ago.”
  • “ maybe time changed.”
  • “ a map. we got a map.”
  • “ oh, fuck this.”
  • “ okay, we’re starting to get health, which is not good, because that means we’re gonna get attacked.”
  • “ we can’t jump out the window.”
  • “ who the fuck did that?”
  • “ what do i do? i don’t wanna go down there.”
  • “ call for help.”
  • “ i don’t have anything to defend myself with.”
  • “ i’m not ready for this.”
  • “ oh, shit, s/he’s strong as shit!”
  • “ the fuck is wrong with you?!”
  • “ you crazy son of a bitch!”
  • “ chill out, man.”
  • “ can you just fuck off, man… fuck off.”
  • “ we can punish you other ways.”
  • “ can i slit her/his throat?”
  • “ i’m sorry, but where is the knife? i need to confirm the kill.”
  • “ i can’t fucking handle this.”
  • “ stop. just stop. just stop– oh no…”
  • “ get the fuck outta my way, you fucking bitch!”
  • “ that’s fucking right. survival of the fittest, motherfucker.”
  • “ i better get that phone call.”

fenton-st  asked:

HEY i think you might appreciate this! my last therapy appointment, we spent over half the time talking about my fursonas. once i explained that i used different ones to express different sides of myself, she got really interested and ended up asking "what would that fursona do in this situation?" or "and how does this fursona feel about that?" like, she's helping me use them to analyze myself. i feel very lucky to have a therapist who works with my brain and my weirdness.

holy fucking shit that’s AWESOME i wish i could pay someone to let me vent to them and then they would be like “i see… what do you think Yo-Yo would do in this situation?” like I NEED that in my life

holy fucking shit @adrunkwalkhome i’ve listened to adp so many times and when i saw this tag i was like “uhhh what the fuck is this person talking about lol how is that song gay” and so i decided to go check the lyrics and DUDE!!!!!!! DUDE YOU’RE RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

for real when i saw that first lyric i jumped up from my desk and whispered really loudly to myself “OH!!! HOMOPHOBIA!!!!!”

Don't judge a book by it's cover - Marcel (Harry Styles)

Guess who’s back. Back again. Marcel’s back. lol remember Marcel the nerd? Im bringing him back and tbh i think this is the best smut I’ve ever written and I hope you enjoy it :) all the love kittens!


Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to y/n
Happy Birthday to you!’
I wake up to my parents and my little brother singing the Happy Birthday song to me. Shit with all these exams and tons of homework I had totally forgotten about my birthday and the worst part is that I have no idea how to celebrate it.
‘Make a wish honey.’ My mom is holding the cake right in front of me, so I can blow all the candles. Well I don’t have to make a wish I have everything I need. A happy family that loves me, great friends, my crazy best friend Julie, good grades. When I blow the candles dad kisses me on my cheek.
‘Congratulations sweetheart, you’re officially an adult now. How does it feel to be 18?’
Right before I answer my eyes dart from my dad to the clock on the table beside the bed.
‘Late.’ I quickly get up and go to the bathroom. Today is special, but I want to keep it casual. I don’t want to wear a short slutty dress or high heels, it’s not me. A simple shirt and jeans will do. Simple eyeliner, mascara and since my hair is naturally a little bit wavy I don’t spend much time on them, just a decent side pony tail.
It takes me at least thirty minutes to get ready for school. Well it looks like I’m not going to be late after all. After I grab my school bag I go downstairs to the kitchen. Mom is cooking breakfast, dad is reading the newspaper and Mike… . well no one really knows what he’s doing most of the time.
‘Mom it smells great, but I don’t have time for breakfast so… bye.’
‘No wait.’ She says. ‘I almost forgot, tell your friends to come over tonight, you’re having a pool party.’
What? For real? I’m screaming inside. ‘Mom I have tons of friends. Besides we have a lot to do in order to have a pool party, we have to find drinks, food, music –’
‘Already done. Dad and I talked with Julie and that young man Zayn right, and they helped us a lot. They organized everything and we just paid.’
Ok I think I’m going to fangirl hard now. I’m usually the quiet type of girl, but right now I couldn’t care less.
‘Oh mom thank you thank you thank you soo much.’ I kiss her cheek and run in the kitchen again to thank dad. It’s the best day ever.
‘Ok now I have to go and tell my classmates about the party and oh my god it’s the best day of me life.’ I scream and then run out of the house to the bus station without even saying goodbye. Yeah I forgot because I’m so excited.
***
Ok now let’s see … history first. Yes finally an easy subject and I can also have a small talk with those two fuckers who kept this party a secret. Oh how much I love them. When I’m about to close the locker everything goes dark.
‘Who’s this?’ I hear a voice whisper in my ear. I’d recognize this voice everywhere. I grab his hands and remove them from my eyes. When I turn around I see a super happy Zayn. He’s smiling one of those smiles that you can see his tongue a bit through his teeth and it’s super cute.
‘Happy birthday y/n!’ he hugs me and spins me around, not caring if everyone is watching, but we don’t care at all. We’re kinda the popular kids in school and we know almost everyone so we don’t mind.
‘Ahh thank you, you sweet butthead.’ I pinch his cheek playfully. ‘Where’s your hot girlfriend?’
‘She’s in the classroom. Come.’ Wow that’s the first time she’s not running around in the halls, or talking to different people. She’s even more popular than me, but I can’t blame them she’s hot. She’s not too tall, but not short, slim, tanned skin, long brown hair, with brown eyes. A smile to die for, white pearls. She’s in a relationship with Zayn, they have been for three years now and I hope they get married because they’re perfect for each other.
Talking about Zayn I’m still following him, until he stops at the door, which is closed and inside is quiet. A little too quiet than usual.
‘Ok guys what are you up to?’ I ask Zayn.
‘Open the door.’ He smiles.
I open the door and immediately all my classmates start singing that damn ‘Happy Birthday’ song. It’s really awkward, all I can do is stay like a statue and smile.
As I look around the classroom I notice Marcel in his desk writing on his notebook. What a nerd, but he seems nice and so innocent. I’ve never had a chance to talk to him, only a few times when I needed some help in math.
They finally finish the song and Julie runs towards me wrapping her arms around me.
‘Oh my little baby is eighteen I think I’m going to cry.’ I laugh at her words.
‘Come on you’re just a few months older than me. oh by the way thank you guys for the pool party.’
Zayn comes closer to Julie and wraps his arm around her waist. ‘We knew you’d forget it so we decided to organize everything for you.’
‘Yeah but it was Zayn’s idea.’ Julie says. Oh no not again.
‘But you helped a lot.’ Zayn says to her and then they kiss. Oh god I hate when that happens. Every time they kiss they don’t stop for literally 10 minutes and I know it’s nice to know that they love each other, but come on I’m jealous here because I’m still single. I’ve been single for a year now.
I cough awkwardly and they pull back.
‘Babe let’s go to the last desk, no one will disturb us there.’ And they leave. Well at least now I don’t have to watch them snog in front of me. Uh yeah I totally forgot to tell everyone about the party.
‘Hey can I have your attention please?’ I shout and everybody stops whatever they were doing. ‘So today it’s my birthday and I’m throwing a pool party. You’re all invited and make sure to be there at 6:00.’ The whole classroom is filled with happy cheers from the crazy teenagers except Marcel. Should I invite him? I don’t think he will fit in. I don’t think he will even show up, but why not invite him.
I walk towards his desk and then I stop right in front of him.
‘Hey Marcel?’
He raises his head and looks at me confused. ‘Yeah y/n how can I help you?’ He’s different from the other nerds, he seems more confident, but still a bit shy in a very cute way.
‘You’re invited too, you should come.’ I bite my lip.
‘Yeah sure, I’ll be there.’ He smiles showing all of his teeth and may I say it’s so cute and it’s the first time I notice his adorable dimples that make me want to poke his cheeks.
‘See you then.’ I go to my seat and take my history book out. After a few seconds Julie sits next to me and Zayn behind her.
‘Did you just invite Marcel? Please tell me you didn’t.’ she says.
‘I did.’
She groans. ‘Great.’
‘Come on he’s not that bad, he just needs some … fashion advices.’
‘Girl even if Giorgio Armani himself gave him advices he’d still be hopeless.’ Then Zayn laughs and gives her a hi-5.
‘Don’t be mean, he’s a nice guy.’
‘Hey can we please stop talking about Marcel? I’d rather hear the teacher blabbing about World War II.’ Zayn says.
We all stop talking about Marcel and let the rest of the day pass.

After school I decide to walk home, because I need some fresh air. As I mumble a song to myself I see Marcel getting out of a tattoo shop. Holy shit what’s a nerd like him doing there and judging by the way he’s talking to those boys covered in tattoos they must be great friends, but how? Why? … How? It’s not like he has a toned body to have tattoos anyway, at least that’s what it looks like.
I keep walking anyway, I don’t have time to chat I have to get ready.
***
Julie and I are getting ready for the party and the guests should be here by now. She comes out of the bathroom wearing a very sexy black and white bikini, while I’m wearing a simple baby blue bathing suit that covers my boobs and ass. Never had time to buy a new one.
‘Oh god, I knew you we’re going to wear that so I brought you something.’ She starts digging in her bag for something. ‘Got it. Ta da!’ she’s holding a pink bikini with white dots and it’s rather hot.
‘Dude you got great boobs and a great ass, why do you keep covering them?’
‘I don’t know, I just don’t feel comfortable.’
‘Yeah yeah, come on now wear this and I’ll wait downstairs. By the way where are your parents and your brother?’
‘Oh they’re at my grandparents. They think I’m mature enough to have the house to myself for one night.’
‘Girl lucky you, my parents don’t think I’m mature enough to boil water.’ She shakes her head and then leaves the room.
I take off that horrible bathing suit and wear Julie’s bikini. Damn I look hot and it’s the first time I show my breasts and a bit of my behind. As I keep checking myself out in the mirror the doorbell rings, that’s probably Zayn.
I run downstairs to see who that is and I was right, it’s Zayn making out with Julie again, his hands squeezing her ass.
‘Ok I get it, you love to exchange saliva, but please do it when you’re alone.’
‘Oh y/n we’re going to do more than just exchanging saliva when we’re alone’ He winks.
I roll my eyes at them and go to the back yard, where the pool is. It’s so perfect. All the drinks and food are inside and Zayn is going to be the Dj along with his friend and they’re going to be outside.
It’s 6:00 so people should be here by now.
__
Now it’s almost 6:38 and the party has officially started. I stayed inside the house most of the time, because I had to take care of the guests. Now they’re all here except him. I was sure he wasn’t gonna show up, but he promised.
‘Still waiting for your geek charming?’ Julie whispers in my ear.
‘Pff no I just came here to get a drink.’ I lie. I am a bit upset he didn’t come.
Suddenly the doorbell rings and Julie runs to open it.
‘Where is y/n?’ I hear him saying. Oh god he came. I feel much happier now.
‘Sh-she is i-in the ki-kitchen.’ Why is she talking like this? Oh nevermind I want to see Marcel right now, I’m so curious.
Julie comes in the kitchen and behind her there’s a guy I’ve never seen before. No it can’t be, he can’t be Marcel. Marcel is not … like that.
‘Happy birthday y/n!’ he whispers. Fuck me he is Marcel. He’s wearing normal clothes, a nice shirt, dark jeans and white converse. His hair is all messy now and a bit curly, not perfect and with tons of hair gel like everyday at school, but the best part is that now I can see his eyes. They’re so beautiful and did I mention they’re green? I have I thing for boys with green eyes.
‘Thank you.’ I whisper back, shocked of course.
‘Ermm look I’m sorry I didn’t buy you a present, but I didn’t have much time and I also didn’t know what to buy. I’ll give you a decent present one of these days, I promise.’
Ugh boy just looking at you is my present. You’re so hot it hurts.
‘It’s ok, ermm did you bring swimming trunks?’
‘Yes, in my bag pack. Where should I change?’
Oh boy you can change right here in front of me. ‘Upstairs in my room, I don’t mind.’
He nods and I grab his hand taking him in my bedroom upstairs. I let him get in the room and I wait for him outside in the hall.
After five minutes he’s out and oh god he’s so sexy. He’s so fit and his body is covered in tattoos and he has a never-ending torso and his happy trail makes him even sexier. My eyes go from his belly button down to his happy trail and to the waistband of his trunks. I can even see a hint of his pubic hair and oh god I don’t even want to get started with his damn v-lines. He looks like a sexy greek god.
‘Close your mouth love.’ He says and puts his index under my chin to close it. ‘Let’s go downstairs.’ He grabs my hand and takes me downstairs and I’m really sorry, but I can’t just not stare at his fine ass as he walks.
When we get to the back yard everyone just keeps staring at Marcel. Who can blame them though, just look at him.
‘Hey do you mind if I go for a swim y/n I won’t be late.’
‘Okay.’ I whisper and there he goes. I let out a sigh in happiness.
‘Girl that’s the nerd.’ Julie says to me waking me up from my daydream.
‘No shit Sherlock. See? I told you he was not that bad.’ Not bad at all actually.
‘I never thought I’d say this one day, but he looks hot. And where did those tattoos come from?’ Oh so that’s what he was doing in that tattoo shop today, that’s why he knew everybody, because he’s a regular client.
‘Mmmm,’ I bite my lip. ‘he looks yummy.’
‘Well what are you waiting for, take him upstairs.’
‘What? No! … I mean …not yet.’ We both giggle. ‘Besides I don’t even know if he likes me.’
‘Pfff please I saw the way he was staring at your boobs in the kitchen.’ He what? Ok I didn’t notice that. Maybe because I was too busy checking him out.
‘Ladies what’s going on here?’ Zayn comes out of nowhere.
‘y/n wants to fuck Marcel!’
Damn you Julie and your big mouth. ‘I didn’t say that.’
‘Nah I noticed that too, you like him so what are you waiting for? Take him upstairs and you know talk for a bit, get to know each other and then ask him questions about his sexual life so things will get hot and then start acting.’ Zayn says. Hmm this might work now that I’m thinking about it.
‘Aw Zayn you’re so smart for a butthead.’ I pinch his cheek again.
‘Damn y/n you’re been doing that since third grade, stop.’ He jokes.
‘Never. Now you two go snog somewhere and leave me alone with Marcel. Oh and can you please put like a sexy song or something?’ I turn around and see that Marcel is already out of the pool and is rubbing his body with a blue towel. The only thing that’s ruining the view are the girls around him, talking to him. Ugh they didn’t even know he existed until now. I walk towards him and grab his hand.
‘Wow slow down.’ I hear him say behind me.
I stop and turn around to face him. My eyes meet his and our lips are a couple of inches away from each other.
‘Dance with me.’ I whisper as I hear the song ‘The Way’ start playing.
‘I don’t know how.’ He says. I’m just so lucky, he’s so fun to play with.
I grab his hands and put his arms around my waist. He swallows hard when I put my arms around his neck.
‘Just follow my movements.’ I say and start moving my hips. He hesitates at first, but then starts moving with me. I feel his arms pulling me closer to his burning body and I bury my face in the crook of his neck.
‘I really like you y/n.’ I hear him say in my ear and I raise my head to meet his eyes.
‘What? Why?’
‘Come on, I know what everybody thinks about me. The geek of the class who fantasises about the popular girls, that only reads books all day long and has never had his first kiss, never had sex, never had a girlfriend … well actually those are true, but I mean I can be like other guys. I can date, have a girlfriend, please them.’
My eyes widen when I hear the last word. ‘P-please them? You know how?’
He laughs. ‘Well I’m not that experienced, but I’m more than willing to learn. Plus I know that when the time comes everything will happen naturally.’ He pauses for a few seconds and then continues. ‘What about you? Are you experienced?’
Oh fuck I did not see that coming. ‘Yeah a bit, why are you so interested?’ I bat my eyelashes and smile at him.
‘Just curious.’
Ok y/n it’s now or never. ‘Erm Marcel would you … like to go upstairs in my room?’
He nods and I take his hand to lead him upstairs. I see Julie in the kitchen straddling Zayn and grinding on him. Oh god these two horny fuckers are going to kill me.
‘I have a guest room you know!’ I yell at them and they just give me the finger, without breaking the kiss. Well at least I tried.
Anyway once we’re inside my room I lock the door. We don’t want people to disturb us now do we? I sit on the edge of the bed and pat the spot next to me, so Marcel can sit there.
‘So Marcel I’ve always been curious about your … love life.’
He frowns. ‘Yeah I don’t have one. Yet.’
‘Well I just want to ask you a few questions, that’s all.’ I put my hand on his thigh. ‘Is that alright?’
He swallows and nods.
‘Well I want to know … have you ever kissed a girl? Not make out with tongue and stuff, just a simple kiss.’
He nods again. ‘Yeah a few years ago, but it was a dare for her.’ Oh poor girl, she probably had no idea how hot he was.
‘Have you ever wanted to kiss me?’ I move a bit so I can get closer to him. All I get is a nod.
I bite my lip. ‘Have you ever had fantasies about me?’ he nods again. I like where this is going.
‘Have ever you touched yourself while thinking about me?’ He swallows again and blushes, it’s so adorable. Well I’ll take that as a yes. I get up and straddle him and his eyes widen. I grab his hands and put them on my ass.
‘Hold me or I’ll fall.’ I wink then I wrap my arms around his neck, so my breasts are right in front of his pretty face.
‘Have you ever thought about my breasts?’
‘Yeah.’ Finally. I thought he had forgotten how to talk, my sweet little dork.
‘Really? So what do you think?’ I see him staring at them in amusement.
‘I love them.’ Oh shit I’m getting too excited.
‘But Marcel you haven’t seen anything yet.’ I pout. ‘Here.’ I pull the strings of the bra and take them off. I throw it somewhere on the floor, while Marcel’s eyes widen even more and I can feel his boner against my core.
‘You like?’ I say as I bat my eyelashes at him and he only nods.
Well let’s get to the business now. ‘Touch them.’
‘What?’ he almost yells.
‘You said you were willing to learn and I’m willing to teach you. Touch them.’ I grab one of his hands and put it on my left breast. ‘Come on Marcel, play with it. I know you want to.’
He smirks at me and starts squeezing it and pinching my nipple. Then he brings his other and starts squeezing both of my boobs and this is the first time that I actually notice how big and smooth his hands are. He can do miracles to a women’s body with those hands, he just doesn’t know it yet.
‘Kiss me Marcel.’ I come closer to his face and lick his lips with the tip of my tongue. My Lord they’re so plump and pink and soft and ugh.
‘I don’t know how to, I guess you’ll have to teach me.’ he says.
I smirk. ‘Sure, you just have to open your mouth,’ I kiss his lips gently. ‘then I’ll open mine.’ I open my mouth and take his bottom lip between mine, kissing him. ‘Then our tongues dance around each other, like this. Stick out your tongue.’
He sticks out his tongue a bit and I stick mine out and start swirling it around his a few times then I suck his tongue a little and pull back.
‘See? It’s easy let’s try this again.’ I kiss him again and open my mouth waiting for his tongue. I can tell that he’s hesitating, but he puts it inside anyway, dancing with mine violently.
I feel his hands grab my waist and throw me on the bed. He lays next to me, popped up on his elbow and starts kissing me again. I tug on his hair and he groans in my mouth. Fuck that was so hot. I feel his hand go down south, touching my body. My breasts, my tummy, my thighs.
‘Please Marcel, touch me.’
‘Where?’ he asks, but I’m not sure if he is serious or he’s just teasing me.
‘Pussy. Oh please.’ He kisses me again and spreads my legs. I feel his hand rubbing me through the material. ‘No stop!’
He immedialety stops, shocked. ‘What did I do wrong?’
‘Oh babe you didn’t do anything wrong, but I want to go first. Come on take off those swimming trunks and sit on my studying table.’ I stand up and remove the books and laptop from the table so Marcel can sit there, when I’m done I turn around and I see him standing naked in front of me. My eyes widen as I see his boner, it’s bigger than I thought. Big and may I say yummy as fuck, with a vein around it. He has a bit of pubic hair above it, but it makes him even sexier.
‘Come sit on the table and spread your legs a bit.’ He sits and spreads his long legs just like I told him to. I place my hands on each side of him and kiss his neck. I keep sucking a spot at the crook of his neck until I make sure I’ve left my mark on him.
I go down to his collar bones and do the same, licking and kissing every inch of his skin. When I get to his nipples I swirl my tongue around each of them and suck them. Then I stop.
‘What are those, birth marks?’
‘No they’re nipples.’ He laughs. Four nipples? Why do I find so sexy and weird at the same time? Oh well.
I kiss both of his extra nipples and continue kissing all the way down to his pubic hair. I run the tip of my nose across it, smelling it. It smells great, it smells like Marcel and I love it.
‘Marcel you’ve never received a blowjob, have you?’
‘I just got my first kiss and you’re asking me about a blowjob?’
I laugh. ‘Sorry, it’s just that,’ I pause and stare at his cock. ‘it’s beautiful.’ I look at him and he blushes. ‘and also delicious.’
He laughes awkwardly. ‘Thank you I guess.’
I sit down on the chair between his legs and start kissing his thighs, until I arrive at the place he needs me most. I grab his cock in my hand and start pumping up and down slowly. Shit it’s so big. I see Marcel bitting his bottom lip, trying hard not to moan.
‘Babe you can moan, it’s ok. I’ll love it.’
‘I can’t, I’m too embarrassed.’ Ok fine then, I guess I’ll just have to help you. I stand up and take off the rest of the bikini and grab one of his hands. I put it right on my clit.
‘Rub it in circles slowly.’ I whisper in his ear. As soon as he starts rubbing me I moan in his ear.
‘Ahh fuck, just like that.’ My moans encourage him to go faster and I moan louder and then I grab his cock and start pumping again, faster this time.
‘Come on baby, I need to hear your moans ahhh.’
‘Oh shit y/n!’ he moans. Fuck me, that was the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard in my life. So deep, so husky, so sexy.
‘Mmm keep doing that.’ I say as I sit down again and waste no more time. “Hold my hair back Marcel.” He grabs my hair into a ponytail and once he has his fist around it I immediately put his cock in my mouth. I swirl my tongue around his head and lightly suck on the tip. Then I lick up and down his shaft, running my tongue along the vein that is popping out. I take him in my mouth again and rub my tongue along the underside. Marcel bucks his hips a little, shoving himself farther in my mouth.
‘Oh shit I’m sorry, I just got carried away.’
I look up to see him. ‘Don’t apologize, it was hot.’
He looks sexy as hell when he’s frustrated. I wrap my lips around him again and bob my head up and down and rub with my hand the part that can’t fit in my mouth I bob my head for a couple minutes and he bucks his hips again so I’m deepthroating him. Shit he’s so big. I’m glad I did a bit of practice with my last boyfriend otherwise this would’ve caused my death. I grab his balls and stroke them with my hands. Marcel had his fingers tangled in my hair and he keeps moving my head faster and faster. I can feel he’s closer with every suck.
‘Fuck I’m coming!’ he moans. Shit that’s the first time I’ve heard him swear and it’s so hot. I feel his warm, salty juices down my throat and I try to swallow all of it. I’ve always had trouble with swallowing, but Marcel tastes good, so it’s not that hard this time.
‘Oh y/n that was so amazing.’ He says while breathing hard.
I get up and lay down on my bed. ‘Come here big boy, show me how willing you are to learn new stuff.’ He smiles his bring-it-smile and lays on top of me. Right before he kisses me I hear a knock on the door.
‘Girl if you’re going to fuck don’t forget the condoms.’ Oh shit I had totally forgotten about that, I got too carried away.
‘Marcel can you please get that?’ I give him my best puppy eyes.
He sighs ‘Fine.’ He gets up and walks towards the door. His butt is so cute and I’m just dying to squeeze it, but please let’s not talk about his shoulders oh God. I want to leave scratches all over his back. He closes the door and comes back to bed.
‘Give it to me.’ He gives me the condom and lays on top of me again, kissing me. It feels so good massaging his tongue with mine and he’s getting pretty good at this.
‘Kiss my neck.’ He lets go of my lips and starts kissing all over my neck while his hands worship the rest of my body. Then he sucks my sweet spot leaving his mark on me. This is revenge I suppose, but it’s ok I like it. After he makes sure that he has his mark now he licks the skin between my breasts and I tug on his curls.
‘Please go down Marcel, please.’ I beg. He smiles and takes one nipple in his mouth sucking it hard. A loud moan comes out of my mouth. Damn this kid learns so fast, it’s hard to keep up. He kisses and tugs on the other nipple with his teeth making me cry out in pain and pleasure at the same time. When he starts kissing down to my tummy I stop him.
‘Please stop and go between my thighs.’ He stops and without wasting anytime he goes where I told him to. He puts my thighs on his shoulders and starts kissing my thighs slowly and gently.
‘I’ve always wondered how it would be to have my head buried between your thighs.’ He says between every kiss, until he reaches my wet pussy. Just like I did with him before he nuzzles my pubic hair. It’s not much, just a bit and it’s soft. I wax only the lips ‘zone’ regulary.
‘Do I smell?’ I joke.
‘Mmhhmmm. You smell so good. Tell me what should I do now?’
‘You know where the clitoris is, right?’
He rolls his eyes. ‘I’m not that dumb you know.’
‘Ok sorry. Kiss it.’
I feel his warm and plump lips kiss my lower ones. Dang it I said the clit not the lips. He keeps kissing them gently going higher and higher. Then he runs the tip of his tongue between them going up to my bundle of nerves. He swirls his tongue around it a few times and then kisses it.
‘Shit, just like that, nice and slow.’ I moan with my eyes closed.
I feel the flat of his tongue rubbing my clit in circles, while rubbing my thighs with his huge hands. It’s driving me crazy. I want it fast, but at the same time I want to enjoy him there as much as I can. I look down and he’s staring at me with his gorgeous green eyes and I can come just by the sight.
‘You taste amazing.’ He mumbles against me and I smile at his words.
‘Ok now suck it.’ I order him. All this controlling thing is turning me on even more. He wraps his wet lips around the clit and sucks hard, while moaning against it.
‘Fuck!’ I curse and arch my back from the pleasure. He waits no more for my instructions and does everything he wants to me. Kissing, licking, sucking taking me closer and closer to my high. I leave the condom I have been holding in my hand so far, beside the pillow and dive both my hands in his crazy hair.
‘Marcel shit! Don’t stop I’m close.’ I scream and moan. My hips start moving against his face like they have a mind of their own. He keeps sucking and licking my clit and I feel that burning in my tummy and my mind ready to explode in a million pieces.
Just a bit more Marcel, please please please. Shit. I’m coming!
‘Ahhhh!’ I scream as loud as I can, tugging on his hair and squeezing his head between my thighs as he licks all my juices. I keep moaning over and over again until I come down from my high. Holy Christ what was that?
‘So how was it?’ I hear Marcel say from down there. I bite my lip smiling.
‘Good boy. Come here.’ He comes on top of me again and I kiss him. The kiss is kind of lazy because I’m so tired. Mmm I can taste myself in his tongue, it’s kinda salty.
I pull back. ‘Sit beside me.’ he frowns at first, but then gets up and sits on the bed, his back against the headboard. I get up as well and rip the condom open with my teeth. I giggle a bit when I see he’s already hard.
‘It’s hard not to get a boner when you see a girl come because of you.’ He explains. He must have read my mind. After I’m done putting the condom on him I straddle him.
‘We’re going to try ridding first, then if you want to you can be in charge.’ I kiss his cheek. I grab his cock and put the tip near my entrance and start running it up and down between the lips. After I’ve teased him enough I slowly sit down, his cock buried in me. I grab his arms and wrap them around my waist and I wrap mine around his neck, our bodies closer than ever, my breasts pressed against his strong chest.
‘How does it feel?’
‘So tight and … warm and … wet.’ He says. I smile to myself knowing that he likes being inside me. I kiss him hard and shove my tongue down his throat and start moving back and forth on his lap. Shit he’s so big, how can he hide this monster in those weird pants? I keep moving slowly as my hands are all over him. I touch his neck, tug on his hair, his shoulders – oh god those shoulders – his chest, his long torso.
I feel his hands going down to my ass, squeezing it hard and pulling it towards him. Oh so he wants faster huh? I’ll give him faster. I break the kiss and thrown my head back moaning as I start bouncing slowly on him. I feel his lips around my nipple and his hand on the other, worshiping them. I start bouncing faster.
‘You like this?’
‘Oh shit y/n you’re so good.’ It is good, it feels good being in charge especially when you have to teach the other person because they don’t know what to do. Still there’s something missing … and I know what can make this perfect.
‘Marcel do you know how to dirty talk?’
‘I-I can try.’ He says between moans. Right after he finishes his sentence he rolls us over so he’s on top. Wow I wasn’t expecting that. Just when I was starting to enjoy this. But anyway I’m enjoying this position as well, seeing him on top of me, sweating, frowning, his swollen lips parted, moans and groans slipping from them, just for me.
‘You feel so good around my cock.’ Shit. No stop I can’t.
‘Your pretty little cunt is so wet, can you hear your wetness as I pound into you?’ he groans in my ear. Oh no no stop talking like this, or I’ll come soon.
‘You like it don’t you?’ No.
‘Yes, oh yes I like it so much. Keep going.’ The fuck? I can’t even control my own mouth now?
I feel his hands on my thighs, wrapping them around his waist. He goes faster hitting my sweet spot perfectly. I thought he was never going to find it.
‘Ohh right there!’ I moan.
‘What you mean here?’ He thrusts again hitting that spot making me dig my nails in his back, leaving red marks. He buries his face in my neck and I tug on his hair with one hand.
‘Are going to come for me?’ Wait wait wait since when did we change places? I thought I was the one who could play with him, not the other way around. Nevermind right now the pleasure is too much to think about that.
‘Yes. Yes yes yes!’ I scream and squirt beneath him. He laughs at my reaction and raises his head to meet my eyes. He’s frowning and it looks so sexy, unlike me. I must look like a desperate little girl right now.
‘Come on my baby come for me, I’m close too.’ Oh fuck me the way he called me baby. His baby.
Marcel pounds into me over and over again, with each thrust my walls tightening around him. It’s so erotic, so full of passion, so dirty and so right.
‘Come, baby come for me. You’re safe.’ Oh shit I’m coming, I’m coming again. My vision goes black again as I shut my eyes, screaming his name. I’m safe. He said I was safe.
‘Yeah like that.’ he groans and soon I feel his hot liquid inside me. Too bad we had to use a condom this time. His thrusts are getting slower as we both come down from our highs.
He places his head between my breasts and I bet he can feel my crazy heartbeat. Fuck that was so perfect and most of the time I didn’t have to tell him what to do, like he said it will come naturally.
He pulls out and removes his condom. I don’t know where he threw it, but I don’t care. He lays next to me and I turn around to face him. His eyes are gorgeous I swear, I can stay all day like this staring at him.
‘I know what present I want from you now.’ I bite my lip.
‘What’s that?’
I place my hand behind his neck, playing with his curls. ‘I want you to be my boyfriend.’
He smiles. ‘I really really like you, you know.’
‘Yeah but why?’
‘Because you’re the only one that has been nice to me. You never made fun of me and you were so quiet and sweet with me everytime you asked me for something in math.’
He is right, I’ve never made fun of him and always had like a little thing for him, which is now a big thing.
‘Yeah, but I’m sure those girls are dying to get you into their panties right now.’ I giggle. ‘But I can’t blame them, you are so hot tonight, I don’t understand why do you keep wearing those clothes and those glasses?’
‘Yeah you should thank my sister for that. I told her that I had a crush on you and I asked her for some fashion advices.’ He grins. ‘I guess I’ve never been the guy who is always loved by girls and always the centre of attention. All I wanted was your attention.’
‘And now you have it.’ I bury my head in his chest and he puts his arm around me. I place gentle kisses on all over his chest. ‘You’re my boyfriend now.’
I raise my head to meet his eyes, he’s smiling.
‘And you’re my girl.’ He rubs the tip of his nose against mine and kisses me on the forehead. ‘You know you have a party going on don’t you?’
Shit I forgot about the party. What time is it? Double shit it’s 7:53. I quickly get up and pick up the bikini to wear it. Marcel gets up as well and puts his swimming trunks on.
‘Help me with this bra thing.’ I say to him and immediately feel his hands on my back tying the string of it. He puts his hands on my arms and kisses my neck.
Oh my this feels so good, but I don’t have time for this. When he bites my earlobe I giggle.
‘Ah no stop that.’ I grab his hand. ‘Come now.’ I make sure we look decent, but Marcel’s hair is not helping. They’re just so messy.
Once we’re downstairs at the pool Julie and Zayn come towards me.
‘Did you guys have fun?’ she asks and gives me a wink.
I look at Marcel and his cheeks are getting red. ‘Yeah it was the best of my life. Oh by the way I have something to tell you guys.’
‘What would that be?’ Zayn asks. He has his arms wrapped around Julie’s body and resting his head on her shoulder.
I turn to Marcel and put my hand on the back of his head pulling him for a kiss. I’m not sure how the others are taking this because I have my eyes closed, but I can hear cheers and that’s a good thing. Marcel is the one to break the kiss and looks at me.
‘You’re together now?’ Zayn says.
‘Hold on babe I got this.’ Julie says to him. ‘You’re together now?’ she says it with a louder voice.
‘That’s what I said.’
‘Yeah but it’s about the intonation babe.’ She kisses him.
‘Ok before you two start making out again, yes me and Marcel are together now.’
‘Aww that’s so sweet welcome to the family Marcel.’ Julie gives him a big bear hug and when she pulls back Zayn says the same thing and gives him a hi-5.
‘Ok now if you don’t mind me and this little lady here have some unfinished business.’ She giggles when Zayn pulls her for a dance.
I turn to Marcel. ‘They like you.’
‘And I like you.’ I can’t help but blush a bit when he says that.
‘And I kinda love you.’ I tease.
‘Kinda?’ he gives me his puppy eyes and pouts. No don’t do that. it’s so cute it hurts.
‘Ok I love you!’ I scream, but not loud enough for everyone to hear me.
He wraps his arms around me and puts his forehead against mine.
‘Thought so.’
‘And you?’
He chuckles. ‘I love you too.’
And we spend all night dancing in each other’s arms, until everyone is gone and he spends the night cuddling with me in my bed.
What more can I ask for?

holy shit it actually worked. I even got to broil myself like a lobster. I came out of that shower PINK.

I feel like jelly in a skin case. Feels so nice….

nts tho, talk to doctor about accommodating my bath situation because atm I can’t bathe myself safely alone any more and this is bs that standard tubs are so tiny that a shower chair can’t safely fit in them without bending the legs.

Listen my dudes, I know you wanna be cool kids with your tiny ass themes and tiny over edited icons and shit
and that’s cool, I get it
but for the love of everything that’s holy
you should keep the name on the links to your pages with something we can understand
like y'all putting words in latin or whatever language to the ‘ask’ button
or the 'rules’ button
like I gotta freaking click all over to know what the fuck are u talking about
and some of them lead me nowhere like
'okay thanks, I have all day to click all over ur theme.’
Like I’m an #aesthetic slut myself
but I try to keep my theme friendly to those who are interested in following me and are respectful enough to go through my rules and about pages so come on.

idk some more otp au scenarios
  • i’m a twin and you don’t realize it, but have my twin in a class with you and when you see me on campus come up and start talking to me and I don’t have the heart to tell you otherwise because hey, you’re cute
  • I completely bought the wrong ticket for a concert so instead of sitting next to my friend I’m sitting next to a stranger but you turn out to be v cute and by the second song in we’re screaming each other the lyrics
  • I got off the plane somewhere cold and completely forgot to pack a jacket because I’m an idiot and you offer me your extra one and when I get to my hotel/new apartment I find your phone in the pocket oops
  • you’re baby-sitting your niece or nephew and the kid won’t stop talking to me in the park and you’re a little pissed off because the kid likes me better than you, but you also think it’s kinda cute
  • I go to your book signing and pretty much make a fool out of myself but then i see you at a coffee shop later and you insist on buying me coffee and let it slip that you think I’m adorable and holy shit I’m still holding your book in my hand
  • I just left my significant other at the altar and went to a bar and you’re sitting there just having a beer and want to talk to me about what’s wrong/why I did it as I do a lot of shots 
  • you’re famous and always seem to answer my questions during twitter q&a’s and it’s actually because you think I’m cute from my profile photo and when I go to your m&g your eyes light up and you know my name oh my goD

my friends were talking about birthdays and holy shit? it just hit me that i actually lived past my teenage years without dying? like when i was in high school i felt extremely suicidal and depressed that i’d cry myself to sleep most nights but now i’m turning 21 this year and i’m almost graduating as an art student………. this is so surreal, i never thought i’d make it. even when i was younger i always questioned my chances of reaching adulthood due to the fact that i was pretty much labeled as fat and would probably die due to a heartattack but here we are, BRO WE MADE IT! i’m sure i’ll blog even less here as times go on, and it’ll be sad since i made lots of memories here but i’m happier, and more satisfied with myself. i’m also getting better at handling my sadness too, so heres to 40 to 100 extra more years to existing :)

Hump Day Smut

Fuck I just realized it’s Wednesday! Been traveling and such so a few of this week’s fics will end up on next week’s post. Anyways here’s what I got for now.

A Night In by @bkwrm523 (Cas bed-breaking smut.)

Best Vegas Week Ever by @kas-not-cas (Heluva way for Sammy to find out you’re into him.)

Bela and the Thief by @scorpiongirl1 (Normally not my scene since it’s a Bela x Dean x reader threesome and I’m not really into girl on girl action. But I am into how hot Dean thinks it is. And the ending was like *heart eyes*.)

Business + Pleasure (Part 1) by @klaineaholic (Supposedly this writer’s first fic. I made squinty eyes about this as I read because it certainly doesn’t read like a first timer’s smut. Talk about hitting the ground running. Holy shit. One night stand Dean action. I was thinking to myself at the end man this could be so much more if they find out they’re both hunters and then I realized that it’s a part 1 and there’s a chance that they will find this out. I’m so excited for more.)

Trust Me Part 1 and Part 2 by @sis-tafics (Settle in and get a snack for over 11k words of goodness here. Dean with the classic hunter friends that hooked up and now they really need to DTR. Part 2: nahhhh they ain’t gonna DTR, they’re just gonna have more really intense sex.)

Daddy’s Home by @scorpiongirl1 (*contains NSFW pic* For you ladies with a daddy!Dean kink.)

I think a lot about killing myself. Not like a point on a map. But rather, like a glowing exit sign at a show that has never been quite bad enough to make me want to leave.

See, when I’m up - I don’t kill myself because holy shit there’s so much left to do.

When i’m down I don’t kill myself because then the sadness would be over, and the sadness is my old paint under the new. The sadness is the house fire or the broken shoulder: I’d still be me without it, but i’d be so boring.

—  Neil Hilborn, The Future
I have a girl who I like very much named Toni but I don’t feel like I would ever want her to be mine. I don’t need to have that possession of anybody. We have a good time when we have sex but more than anything I just like sitting round with her and not saying anything and just listening to records and stuff. I suppose that sort of selflessness might be called ‘love’. I also fell in love with a girl in Costa Rica. But love is something that pours out of me all the time. I just have to surrender myself to it. (…) Sure I said that I like to fuck but I equally enjoy the emotional part of a relationship. I can enjoy talking, holding hands and touching just as much as fucking. It’s just that at the moment I find it much easier to write about the physical side of a relationship. I do have problems articulating my feelings on the emotional side and don’t yet feel completely comfortable expressing myself. But maybe, sometime in future, I will begin to explore my feelings in this area more fully in my songwriting.
—  John Frusciante (1991)
2

4 years ago today !
Holy shit honestly. I was 19 years old in that photo! When I was at the pinnacle of living my life for others. Being who they wanted me to be; who I thought they wanted/expected me to be.
I knew it but didn’t know why I felt so off that way. A year later or so I cut my hair into the beautiful Mohawk and the person who was my “best friend” at the time said “what did you do!? Why did you do that??” And she went on to talk about how she liked my blue and white long hair and talking about me as if I was a doll for her to dress up. She was 22/23 at the time. She’s obviously not in my life anymore.
I’m so fucking proud of myself holy shit. I’m almost 12 months on T and top surgery consultation the 20th!

okay so i went to wolf alice’s la debut as im in the crowd i turn back and i see a girl who looks like alana haim. but of course i shrug it off but I convince myself to look back again and we made eye contact and in that moment i realized ‘holy shit that’s Alana’ so i quickly waved at her and said hi. at first she was kind of confused…im pretty sure im the only one who recognized her?? i kept seeing her from the corner of my eye.

so the show is about to start and i have my phone out ready to take a couple of pics when wolf alice comes out and i turn to talk to my friend and i think alana thought i was taking a pic of her so i tried not to turn around anymore, bc i didn’t want to invade her privacy.

so the show is over and we’re ready to leave, and i think to myself if i have a chance to talk to her i will. GUESS WHAT??! i did have a chance to talk to her!!! and she is the sweetest person ever!! she hugged me twice!! and she introduced herself to me as if i didn’t know who she was ((which i’ll take as a sign of being extremely humble)) and after i told her i hadn’t taken a picture of her she said she didn’t care and asked if i wanted a picture and of course i said yes…im not an idiot. We take the picture and we had a little conversation…i can go on and on about her but i don’t want this post to be super long. she is the nicest, prettiest, most talented girl ever, i love her and HAIM so much, i can not believe i met her.