holy hell these are so pretty

My parents are funeral directors

I pretty much grew up in a funeral home and I have so many stories. 

Here are a few of them:

One time we had hired a new funeral director, and we ran out of holy water so he ran up to my dad so panicked and asked how we could order some  before the funeral that afternoon. My dad told him to “Boil the hell out of it”. We thought he would laugh but he spent the next hour boiling water on the stove.

One time my dad was driving the hearse to a funeral and the council hadn’t dug the plot, like they full on forgot to dig a hole for a funeral. He rang up my mum crying because it was so stressful and mum honestly though him shouting “I lost the plot” was a joke.

My brother and I use to play hide and seek at a graveyard and we almost fell in open plots a few time. We would steal peoples flowers until mum told us the importance of flowers. After that I would pick flowers from the bushes and give them to every grave without them because I felt so bad for them.

When we would go driving we would always keep an eye out for parks with roses so we could come back later and “borrow” the rose petals so we didn’t have to pay for them.

Mum has heard “you raise me up” and “Amazing grace” so many times shes told us if we play them at her funeral she will straight up haunt us.

Discussions about what we wanted at our funerals have been a normal part of our lives since we were tiny. Every year each one of us would give mum and dad a detailed description of our funeral, kind of like a morbid letter to Santa.

 So many people died from car accidents and mum and dad discussed funerals all the time I became so phobic of driving I would have a panic attack when ever I got in the front seat. 

When I was about 10 I would steal all the fake crosses for coffins and give them to people at school.

When I was 14 I really wanted to be a mortician so mum said I was allowed to come in and help prep a body for a funeral. I went in all gloved up and pulled back the sheet on the body and it was the ACTUAL mortician and he sat up and screamed at me. I died a little inside that day.

In the back room there was a fridge for the workers and it mostly had coke but once it had a can of beer and I sculled it before I knew what it was….I was 11.

Once my brothers and I hid in the coffin display room to scare my parents but they knew about it and shut the lids. Assholes.

When I was 13 i was obsessed with phantom of the opera so I would play music on the organ in the viewing room in the dark, thought I was so edgy.

We have one of the only horse drawn hearses in the country so we were asked to bring it down for a historical reenactment in the oldest cemetery in the town. I got to wizz around an old cemetery on a horse drawn hearse with a top hat on. I made so many goths jealous. Was a good day.

I am so terrified of the idea of ghosts (I don’t believe in them) even though I grew up at a funeral home. 

Once this person who thought ghosts were real asked my parents if they had had ghostly experiences and they laughed in her face. She was so offended that people who had spent most of there life around dead people didn’t have any proof ghosts were real. 

some doodles with a trio of dresses i found in my massive fashion folder

5

Hannibal: Top Five Moments I Went Holy Shit

–Inspired by existingcharactersdiehorribly gifset.  

  1. The cliff scene! They just murdered Francis, and they are standing close to the edge. I’m thinking oh no they are going to fall, nah Bryan would never do that…. and then they fall. I made dying animal noises.
  2. So the ending of Mizumono is pretty much one hell of a holy shit moment, but this scene had me sobbing the most. We find out Abigail is alive, only to have Hannibal slit her throat!!! 
  3. Bedelia fucking Du Maurier!!! We just saw everyone get slaughtered at Hanni’s, then Bedelia is on the plane fleeing the country with him…. what is going on? 
  4. “Is your social worker in that horse?” Epic… even Hanni was disgusted/ shocked when the social worker came crawling out. 
  5. Will Graham “killing” Freddie Lounds. When we first saw this scene we had no idea it was an act, and I was in shock that Mr. Will “Puppy” Graham went there.
4

The most artistic thing I have ever done. 

This is the dust cover for the copy of Les Miserables a friend and I got another friend of ours for Christmas. However, it was a bit… drab. (see here

So, I decided to add some color. I think it turned out well enough.

(From top to bottom: front cover, spine, back cover, full)

okay but can i have a cliche as hell plot that’s like “i met you when you stayed in my little beach town almost the entire summer when we were 15/16 and we had a summer fling and i’m pretty sure we were a little bit in love but then you left and we just kinda stopped talking and now i’m well into college and holy shit i ran into someone at a party that looks like an older version of you–wait that IS you??? and we’ve been going the same college the entire time?? and now i feel like i see you everywhere??? what the hell is this you’re even hotter than you were back then what the HELL” type of plot

bonus points if they have mutual friends and have somehow never met

i once knew an atheist
who made an irony of satan
he listened to the sounds of cannibalism
and there was death in his jaws.
i thought he was pretty
so i told him there was a god,
and he laughed, and said
“i know, darling, for you are speaking
with him now.”
naïveté, how i adored him
i wanted to save him
but he said there was no need:
hell made him comfortable;
he proceeded to light fires in me.
i thought i was the angel on his shoulder,
and my tears were the holy water
and the wine
but he went to san antonio
and he left me behind.
i prayed for him, until my prayers
were shallow echoes unto themselves
they shattered in my face
when he hooked up with someone else.
well, last night i called the devil
and i told him he was right
there was no god, there was nothing
but pain,
and cycles of foolish optimism—
he said “no, child. it is i who was wrong:
god is real, i found him
between a woman’s thighs”
i asked him, well what about mine?
“oh! i know you tried, darling
but hers were white, like christ.”

Spoiler Alert

My thoughts on fantastic beasts and where to find them:
-omg how friggin’ cute is this Niffler!!!
-Dang! Colin Farrell looking fine as hell!
-Wow, the President looks fine as hell too!
-Ugh…Dumbledore namedropping…
-wooah, it took me way too long to recognize Ezra Miller… 
-So!Many!Adorable!Creatures!!!
-I want all of them!
-What the fuck is this execution cell! That is really fucking disturbing!
-Wow, that executioner lady likes her job way too much!
-Awww look at her learning to appreciate Newt’s creatures.
-Ewwww those fingers are gross…
-Wow, Graves is pretty cosy with Credence…
-Really cosy tbh…that’s pretty much up in Credence personal space
-That is really really close! Weirdly close…
-Holy shit! The symbol! The friggin’ thing! Wait! Farrell is Grindelwald! Right? Am I right? OMG this is awesome!
- Why didn’t Harry turn into an obscurial though?
-Prolly cause he’s a special snowflake lol
-You can smell squib? What do they smell like?
-Ah, you can’t actually smell squib you are just an asshole who made a mistake…
-Holy shit! Is there some kind of historical muggle (sry no-maj) equivalent to this kind of destruction in american history?
-Graves wtf? I’m pretty sure Credence wants to kill you…
-Newt! Not you too, fucking reckless crazy people!
-Nooooooooo! Credence! Oh no! no! How could you do that? I wanted Newt and Porpentina to adopt him and take care of him! This isn’t fair!
-Yes, show them your skills Newt!
-Wait, what? Depp?!? No!!! Why would you do that? Farrell was perfectly good! Why? But…no! But…why?!?
-Okay, show them more of your skills Newt, let them see your awesomeness.
-How exactly is this rain supposed to work on people indoor though, but not on the wizarding population and why not on Jacob if it does work indoors somehow?
-Or does it work on Jacob?
-It did not.
-Wait what? No! Jacob! No!
-Well I guess shit hit the fan…
-I hope the actual Graves is all right
-Why doesn’t demanding access to Gringotts’ high security levels require to let someone use the revelio spell on you when it apparently works against polyjuice potions tho…
-Was Grindelwald getting to close with Credence a slight nod to him using closeness and affection of emotional and physical kind to manipulate people to his liking?
-Was it gay-ish subtext? Am I reading into this?
-Oh shit! They didn’t just namedrop! Gellert asked Newt why his former bestie liked him so much!
-Great! I have all this theories now and the people I watched the movie with haven’t even seen all the hp movies let alone read any of the books…

Chocolate banana brownies

(sorry this is so long) Hey there! I saw your brownies in your master post and I just wanted to share a brownies recipe that is lower in calories (I think) (I just added together how much calories is in the entire tin of your brownies vs mine and mine was less. It may be bc there is less, but I have no clue). They’re choc-banana brownies, some people might feel better eating them bc they are mostly fruit. I’ve not made it before so I’m not sure exactly how good it is. But they look pretty good, I got the recipe from my friend and she adds a cup and a half of nutella to them which I’ve taken out (bc holy hell the calories). This might cause the consistency to be a little different but I’ve changed a few of the proportions + the cooking time. She also uses whole eggs. If they don’t work out, try changing the recipe how you feel comfortable :)

Ingredients:
2 bananas (about 160 calories)
3 egg whites (34 calories) (you can use whole eggs but whites have less calories)
4 tsp of cocoa powder (16 cal)
Baking soda (0 cal)
Sweetener (optional but recommend) (0 cal)
Total calories: 247

Directions:
Just mix it all in a blender and just pour into a baking tray!
Bake for 25 minutes (less or more, depending on how gooey you want it ;)) at 180°c
Cut then up and divide 247 by how many pieces you cut it into for the calories per piece. ie: if you cut it into 8 pieces that’s 30.3 calories a slice :)

That’s it! If anyone makes these I’d love to know how they turn out/ any adjustments that should be made :)
thank you so much. Your account is wonderful💕💕💕

youtube

Everyone PLEASE take a moment to listen to the german voice of jasper omg

2

oh man. i was going through my brother’s ipad (which was honestly a huge part of what made me get into art, just the ability to use it to draw even if i only had my fingers to use as pencils cause ipad styluses are expensive ) and found this gem from 2014 which is probably one of the first things i ever drew and was very proud of and oh boi. 

i remember drawing this while waiting at the airport and the plane was taking forever and when i finally finished this i was like “wow, this is pretty good". it took me an hour just to finish that, mainly cause of that dual colored background you can see i put a lot of effort into. 

so i was just looking at it and i thought, well, what could i achieve now? (so naturally, i doodled yamaguchi.) i mean, i always bring myself down because i see my art and i see other peoples art and i’m like, “holy hell, i’m shit”, but never think about how much i’ve improved along the way and this was a great eye-opener for me. 

i still think my art has long ways to go but i’ve definitely walked a long distance since i started too. i guess this is just me trying to say don’t give up doing what you like to do!! perseverance pays off (yams is a great testament to that - that’s why i love him). don’t expect to become great overnight, if it were that easy, everyone would be an artist.

tl;dr: don’t compare yourself to others, compare yourself with yourself.

anonymous asked:

I went through and looked at the timestamps of every audio glitch of the new nitw vid and it proved (to me at least) that it was some sort of processing error. The errors were super regular and pretty evenly spaced. I originally went in looking to see if the words the errors occurred on were clues (they're not) and came to this conclusion. If ppl want I can submit the notes I have so they can see for themselves and not have to go hunting?

Holy shit, really?

Hell yeah man, I think we’d all be super interested to see your notes! :D

6

recently i got really into mob psycho 100 and i love designing gemsonas for things, so i drew gemsonas for a few of the mp100 characters, and i also drew a few fusions for them. im pretty happy w how they turned out. anyway here’s:

Serizawa: Andradite. represents “self-empowerment, strength, and safety”

Reigen: Pyrite/fool’s gold. didn’t look up the meaning but c'mon… it suits him… he probably claims to be gold

Mob: Blue Chalcedony. “subtle and mystic;” “promotes brotherhood and good will;” helps one to “hold back.” Cracked blue chalcedony = ???%

Teru: Heliodore. “radiates warmth;” represents “self-confidence, strength, and power.” “brings stability”

Ritsu: Dumortierite. “promotes mental discipline,” “used to open the third eye chakra”

Shou: Spessartite. “willingness to help others, strengthening of the heart.” “encourages one to take actions toward their goals”

Gem meanings all taken from either crystal-cure.com or crystalvaults.com. please dont tag as any ships.

anonymous asked:

How do you feel about furries?

they’re pretty chill tbh, i mean one of my best friends is a furry so lmao

but hell have you seen the fursuits some of those those kids made??? holy damn those people amaze me, i don’t know how they do it