summary: what if it was all a dream? What if Evan fell out that tree, hit his head, and dreamt it all up. Connor’s death, the lies, Zoe, what if he woke up and things were happening all over again but he knew the outcome. Evan has a chance to change what broken pieces one letter caused, what if he changes it and nothing better comes out of it. a/n: dear evan hansen is an amazing story about teens and mental health awareness. I don’t plan on leaving those themes out so if that makes you uncomfortable, this is probably not the series to read. I also plan on using all the information I can from my year(s) as a psych major…sooo *brushes off the dust from my psych degree and achievements* this is totally how I pictured using this. Warning:anxious thoughts; cursing w/c: 5784 (faaaaaak) Sincerely Taggin’: @hell-yes-puns-and-ships for beta’ing <3
‘I wanted to make sure, he saw this…’ She replied, the wind in her hair as she whipped around and with bitten back tears retreated from the bench. Evan watched Zoe go, the guilt still ate at him. It left him bittered. He clambered down on the bench and thought back on his actions. He thought back on the year that he felt at the time he’d never live past. But he did, here he was. He closed his eyes, mentally writing himself one more foolish letter. Another ‘sex’ letter Jared would have called it. Still, he felt uneasy. He watched the evening sky melt along the horizon, the orchard trees bare and tried to imagine what the Murphy’s picnics looked like when Connor was there.
“Evan…” He wanted to lift his head and see who was calling him, maybe Zoe changed her mind? Maybe she wanted to stay a bit longer? Wishful thinking on Evan’s part. No the voice wasn’t Zoe’s it, was deeper but his head was aching so bad he couldn’t put a face to the voice.
“Evan…” His eyes started to water, why was there so much pain? Was he going to die? Of what? Suddenly his brain melting for no reason? Guilt? Why didn’t it melt earlier and why was his last thoughts of some disembodied voice calling out for him? Wasn’t he suppose to have his life flash before his eyes or…actually now that he thought about it he rather the ear bleeding pain he was feeling over going over his life. Nineteen years of mistakes was not the last thing he wanted in his dying moments. Before his world went black, before he was sure he had died and there was nothing he could do about it. __________________________________________ Evan was not dead. Death was not suppose to feel so uncomfortable. The pounding in his left temple was so bad he felt like someone was using an ice pick to clean out his ears. It was the kind of pain that bounced off the walls of his skull and made him feel like someone was shaking him around. Before he could open his eyes he was aware he was not in his room. This bed was stiff, crinkled as his sleepy limbs started to move. A small panic went through him when his left arm refused to feel, he wiggled his fingers and nothing. Slowly he opened one eye and saw nothing but light burn back at his retinas. He had stared into the sun, great now he was blind on top of dead. “Evan…sweetie?” The voice was back, and whoever it was stood in front of the light, thank god. Evan’s eyes blinked, slowly vision came to him. Slowly the shadow had a face, a worried set of eyes and a wrinkled frown with long blond hair.
“Mom…” Evan croaked, his voice was raw and dry. He never felt so cottoned-mouth since that time he had to present to the class in Sophomore year and literally wheezed. Her hands fluttered over his face, his sore face. “What….happened why …does everything huuuurt” he groaned the more he started to wake up the more pain began to build. It was everywhere, like he was nothing but a human bruise. He glanced at the only part of him that was somewhat painless for the moment. His left arm was held up by a sling. “And where am I?” He noticed the walls were white, and there was strange machinery all around. His mind still not having come through all the way could only assume he was abducted by aliens for further processing.
The hands on his face were cool, soothing if it wasn’t for the fact even the lightest touch hurt. She ran her hand through her son’s hair and smiled at him, fighting back joyous tears. “Well…you fell out of a tree.”
“What?!” No…Evan wasn’t in a tree, not that he remembered. Wait? What did he remember? Zoe…an orchard… It was all right there but slowly getting fuzzier and farther away as if it had all been… “When” He shook his head clinging to the shreds of memories that were melting away.
“Two days ago…”His mother slowly nodded her head as she cleared up the missing memories. “I don’t know why you were up in a forty foot tree…but you fell, yeah, and when the Park Ranger on duty was making his rounds he called you in…You were out there for almost an hour.”
Holy shit, he could have died. An hour? Why did it take so long…then again why was he working at the park? “Mom what…what day is it? In what year?”
“It’s the last Sunday of August, 2016.” She frowned a bit, “you start high school again in a few days…Senior year…” She tried to sound cheery. “The doctor said you suffered a bit of a concussion…you were out cold for two days.I was ….” There was a strain to her voice, Heidi felt as though she came too close to losing her only son. “It’s a miracle all you have are a couple of bruises and a broken arm.”
“A broken arm?” He glanced at his arm and felt a strange wave of familiarity come over him. This had happened before but he couldn’t seem to be in the right mind to remember. “Ugh my head…are you sure I still don’t have the concussion? I-I think I might have some internal bleeding, m-mom get the doctor…” Evan started to slowly panic, now that he was alive he would have liked to keep it that way.
“Shh, shh.” Heidi pulled the call button from Evan’s side before his good hand could get to it and started spamming for the nurse. “I’ll get the doctor, he’ll check you right up and soon we’ll be good to go back home.” His mother slowly pulled away from Evan’s side, she gave him one happy little smile and disappeared out of his room. He couldn’t see beyond the white dividing curtain. He took a moment to look over his surroundings, nerves itching at the back of his throat when he realized he was really out of it.
“Wait…if I’ve been out for two days…where have I been going to the…” He lifted up the sheet his good hand and peered down his bruise blotched body.To his horror he was not only naked, there was a catheter in his…He gulped down hard, feeling nothing but a sickening ache ripple through him. His lips opened and closed like he was going to say something.
“Ah, Mr. Hansen it’s good to see you’re awake.” The doctor came in, of course she was a woman. She watched as Evan’s pale, cold sweat drenched face locked eyes on her.
The terror overtook him and in the highest octave ,known to only some species of bats and dogs, he yelped “WHAT IS ON MY PENIS?!!
Do you think Osomatsu is still affected by what Tougou did to him? Would his brothers get all protective if they encountered Tougou again?
oh anon :’),,,,
i like to think that the reason osomatsu was acting the way he was back in ep24 was because of tougou. his time with tougou gave him a taste of what it was like if he was seperated from his brothers. during the incident, he learned that being alone and away from his brothers meant being terrified and to have no ally. now to him, growing up means to be independent; to be independent means not to have his brothers around; and to not have his brothers around means to be alone. and being alone, as i said before, means that he would have to be subjected into feeling afraid constantly unless he is reunited with his brothers. his experience to a 10 year old (or to anyone really) was so fucking terrifying that it ingrained into his mind that being alone = a bad time. he takes to a childish personality because he doesn’t want to grow up, and his childhood years were good times. i dont know about their teen years tho because i think that was the period in their lives where they were growing into their more distinguishable personalities. they were growing apart then. you can see that they were a lot closer back in -kun than in -san.
as for your second question, my heart wants to say yes but mind’s not very sure. its possible that they’d get protective though because they’re brothers and they’ve always been together through fun and tough times. but i can say that the others definitely would have negative reactions towards encountering tougou again, maybe due to because he hurt one of their own and/or because even though tougou hurt osomatsu the most, it doesn’t mean that the others weren’t affected as well.
Seventeen reacts to someone making fun of your weight? Idk if you already did this..
i haven’t done this before, but for reference, all reaction posts can be found under the tag for that member. (aka all reaction posts including jeonghan can be found under the jeonghan tag, etc.)
Seungkwan - he would be more inwardly upset about the situation. Since people have made fun of his weight or made comments about his weight gain (in a negative sense) he would take this directly to heart. He would be very empathetic about your feelings. He would be far more concerned about your feelings rather than putting attention on the person who insulted you and feeding the bully. He would want to comfort you and make sure you’re feeling completely okay - that the harsh words didn’t get to you and that you always know you’re (his) beautiful girl.
Jeonghan - the type to immediately roll up his sleeves and go after the bully. He has a very fiery personality and he would not let this person get away with their cruelty. No matter what the setting was, private or public, professional or casual, if the bully was his ‘friend’ or a complete stranger, he would open fire on them without hesitation. The moment he found out - if he had witnessed the incident, or if he had to pry it from your shy, embarrassed lips, he would be on the bully like a bad smell. Veins bulging from his neck, face turning red with anger, yelling in a loud, commanding voice, striking fear and barely able to express in words how bitter and purely mad he was that someone would insult you like this. The boys would have to pull him back, remind him of his image, the band, the company, the managers, every consequence he would face to be having a fit in front of people, let alone to raise his hands to someone in a violent act. It was you and you alone, embarrassed and still teary eyed, worried for him and begging him to calm down that would convince him to finally stop. But no one, and he meant no one messed with his girl. And the whole world new that after this incident.
Woozi/Jihoon - he would be visibly distraught. Nothing like this had ever really happened to him before; he had never before seen someone be so brazen and cruel, especially to someone so gentle and beautiful and so undeserving of it. He was shocked and at first really didn’t know what to do with himself. He would be torn between calling out the bully on their bullshit and making sure you were okay. And depending, he might do both - grab the person harshly by the arm, a hell fire burning in his eyes as he told them in a dead, cold voice that no one, especially a girl as precious as you, should be spoken to or treated like that, ever. Then he would make sure you get you alone and have a private talk with you about it. He would ask you a dozen times over if you were okay, knowing himself how much the harsh criticism of people who don’t matter can get into your head. Ultimately you two would share a sweet moment when he assured you that any decent person - like himself - would see that you had a beautiful body, and much more importantly, a beautiful personality.
DK/Seokmin - happiness mood maker would be more concerned with your feelings. He would immediately pull you into a hug when he saw your face fall at the assailant’s harsh words, and rub your back, whispering words of comfort and reassurance (likely as the other boys dished out punishment to your bully). He would make sure you’re completely okay before moving on, but still at the back of his mind be worried about you and wonder why someone would think it’s even remotely okay to make a comment like that.
Joshua/Jisoo - he was relatively calm and quaint. When it came to people spewing mindless insults, he knew it was best to ignore them and move on, and that was something you always found so much easier to do when around him. When he heard the words he gave a very distasteful expression, but simply carried on with your conversation like nothing had happened, not to acknowledge the bully and fuel the fire. Later that night, when you were in a private setting, he made an off handed comment that he thought your body was very beautiful, but the incident was a small dot in the back of your mind and Joshua just made you giggle and blush.
Vernon/Hansol - he was very surprised. He made a face when he heard the person say it. He was shocked that someone would actually be brazen enough to say something like that. Especially to someone like you - so beautiful, with such a gorgeous figure. Was the person blind? He looked around, made sure the other boys heard it, that he wasn’t making up in his mind, and the unpleasant look on your face said it all. When he discovered it wasn’t a figment of his imagination, he made the first comment that came to mind to distract you, to try and make you happy. “Don’t listen to ‘em. You have the kind of body they talk about in hip-hop - a blessing.”
Mingyu - he would want to protect you at all costs. He would think you are a tiny cinnamon roll, too good, too pure for this world, and he would be very insulted on your behalf. He would cover your ears as soon as it happened and then tell the person off in a short speech, with your ears still covered, then cart you off to get a nice beverage (maybe Bubble Tea, Boba, maybe Starbucks), and wipe your mouth while telling you that he will always protect you from the cruel bullies of the world, and that you shouldn’t mind the bullshit, even when he’s not around to filter it for you.
Wonwoo - would literally be angry enough to murder on the spot, but would hold it all in. Anyone who looked close enough would see all that rage in his eyes, but he would keep it together very well. He would ignore the person, therefore encouraging you to ignore them, and subtly compliment you in conversation (more than usual) just to see you smile, to help soothe the fires of his anger.
Seungcheol/S.Coups - he would also be a giant, neck veins bulging rage monster, but he would be much more controlled than Jeonghan. More like the parent who wants to murder their child for misbehaving but knows that’s illegal. He would approach the bully with the calmest, harshest, grittiest threats words that would stay seated in their brain forever and scar them for life, ensuring that they would never, ever comment on anyone’s weight ever again. (He would apologize profusely for his rage to you later, and you would highly resist the urge to tell him that you found it hot.)
Jun - he would be absolutely disgusted and appalled. But, because you hang around him so often, you would be part of the #highselfesteemsquad so this hater’s words would fall off your back in seconds, and you and Jun would easily ignore that person. He would probably blatantly compliment you in front of the bully out of spite, the two of you making a game of it, showing that nothing could get you or your confidence down.
Minghao/The8 - much to everyone’s surprise, he flipped out. It was worse than his One Fine Day tantrum; it was a mess of words in Chinese, Korean, even some English swear words he had learned from Vernon and from watching movies. (No one had any idea he knew what a ‘cocksucker’ was, let alone how to use the word in a sentence.) Luckily, his massive fit was contained in a backstage dressing room far from the ears of your assailant, where you had come to escape the person with tears in your eyes. And actually triggered all of Minghao’s harsh words upon explaining to him why you were so upset. If the boys had let him go, it would have been a PR nightmare.
Hoshi/Soonyoung - he would as calmly as possible tell the person that it’s really not okay to speak to other people like that, but not worry so much about the bully and more about you. He would cheer you up with aegyo and then lift you off the ground - “aish, (Y/N), if I can lift you, of course you don’t weigh too much!” and when this caused a big giggling fit in you, he wound know his job has been well done.
Dino/Chan - he would be so shocked. He has been sheltered by his hyungs so often that he really didn’t want to believe that anybody would dare to treat a lady like this. He would hope, immediately, that you wouldn’t take the comments to heart and that you would let it slide off you like water off a duck’s back. He knew you were strong and confident and he would think that someone’s negative words wouldn’t effect you. He would want to confront the bully, but not feel brave enough, and also feel too awkward to talk directly about the subject with you. Mostly because he wouldn’t want to offend you by bringing up your weight; he would be deathly afraid of saying the wrong thing or just being too awkward. (Especially because of his low experience with romance.) He would likely go for a small gesture of comfort. Bringing you your favorite snack food or drink and offering you a hug, or telling you a stupid joke to make you smile.
holy shiiiit why did this take me soo long???
these are all over the place and written in different styles sorry
jeonghan’s one is sooo long my jeonghan boner is showing oopsie
anyway i’ve been trying to make all of these as gender neutral as possible even though i know the ideas may have been submitted by girls and that i do have a larger female audience
dude youre so cool wtf the amount of hardwork here?? non stop content like jfc im v impressed. Your blog is also very organized like the icons?? by color and character like holy fuck how long did it take you to do all of this?? im very impressed and left in awe ?? you are the real mvp!!
Omeuzjghdfckzh holy smokes I swear I’m blushing like crazy rn :’D Yeah, I’ve spend quite some time organising all the stuff I make! But that’s also because I really enjoy making that content, and it’s very stress relieving for me as well! I’m really really glad my work is appreciated! ♡♡♡♡ if you’re interested, I have another big surprise coming up for pride month!
Okay so my family were watching iron man two and I realized something. When Tony is recreating the new element he is using his father’s notes on the tessaract. Which as we all know is an infinity gem. Maybe thats why when Loki tries to use the scepter on him it doesnt work. Maybe you can’t use the infinity gems against one another like they cancel each other out? Do you think he or any of the others avenger or asgard know that tony has the equivalent of an infinity gem in his chest?
Almost done with the second book of the Captive Prince series and HOLY SHIT. Why did it take me this long to read them?? Laurent is my problematic fav – he’s just so sassy and hilarious without meaning to be.
i haven’t drawn anything this big in a while and i am actually kinda surprised by the outcome haha.
i know absolutely nothing about anatomy or ballet but i had reference pics so i hope this should be kind of physically possible and all that jazz.
@rnissunionjack i know it’s not much and i actually wanted to finish this a lot earlier (’cause you recently got your first pointe shoes and everything) but i wanted this to be part of your christmas present because you love nat and you love ballet and because i love you and couldn’t really get you anything else this year ♥
Holy shit I am turned on How long did it take you to flip through the knives smoothly like that?
Bout a hour of focused practise for each move 👌 it’s learnable in a session so long as you keep finetuning the reaction times. I think the sensation of the other handle’s weight naturally directs the knife in position and when that is paired with the creativity of minor variations you could switch this up into neat outcomes