holy cow what is this shit

I can’t believe it’s completely canon that while Shiro was learning about the history of the black lion and fighting Zarkon on the astral plain, Keith was arguing with some dude over his knife, Pidge and Lance were buying a video game and a COW, Hunk became Space Gordon Ramsay, Allura got a makeover and Coran was…..doing whatever he does.

Why did we learn Zarkon’s backstory in an episode called “Space Mall”. How did they decide to put these two plots in the same episode. What the quiznak was this episode.

  • Me, just got into the shower: its so exciting that we get a lgbt character, i hope its klance or shatt that sure would be great
  • Me, still in the shower, a second later: holy shit what if the lgbt character is Kaltenecker
The Holy Cow

Context: I’m running a campaign using SPELL, the players(Cayd, Maris, Voldus) are going on a heist in a fort. They are all absolute bastards. A floor earlier there was a trap that perfectly cooked things. One of them, Cayd, wrote down the rune that it was using. 

Approaching a door.

Voldus: I peek through the door

GM: You see rows of chairs

Voldus: What else is in there?

GM: If you walk in you will see

Cayd: I walk in!

GM: You see a chapel, at the far end there is a cow. A holy cow.

Cayd: I use the rune of perfect cooking

GM: YOU- YOU COOK THE HOLY COW?!

Cayd: yes. How does it taste?

GM: …It’s delicious

Quick Fic Recs

What’s up my guys after season 2 I went hunting for some fresh content and found some nice fics, ayo :3c Most of these are Klance because I’m basic and also the general Voltron ao3 tag is scarring on a good day so I don’t like going through it lmaoo.

Honestly you can probably find these fics just by hunting through the first couple of pages but.. whatever lmao

Gen fic:

Knowledge or Death (And Ignorance is Bliss) by squirenonny

Keith tells the rest of the team what he learned in the Trials of Marmora.

[Season Two spoilers! Set between “The Blade of Marmora” and “The Belly of the Weblum”]

So yeah, a nice no-relationships just feel-good-family-feels fic. I felt like the reactions were in-character and realistic, and the way you can see the Paladins adjust and accept Keith warms my heart. I especially enjoyed the platonic Keith and Lance and Keith and Pidge. Really, really nice!!!

Klance fics lmao:

Keep reading

Wedding in Hawaii || Part 3

hi. part 3 is here which is also the last i think. although i may or may not will write the bit when they go home and stuff bc of the airport pictures of harry with the glasses on and stuff. i might just carry on a whole story line with them, give a girl name and then when i have ideas i just write it with them two bc i like how in love they are and i’m sad lolololol. whatcha think?? also i hope you’ll enjoy this like you did with the other 2, it was fun to be fed so good this week by the king lmao. and as well lemme know what you wanna read, if you have any ideas please send them to me so i can think about them and make it happen sometime. lotta love, xoxo -b

Part 1Part 2

Alright.

Okay.

Keep your shit together, girl.

He is only wearing a whiteish-creamish coloured suit with a baby blue shirt.

You’ll be fine, honestly.

But then his tanned skin and bright smile, his amazing emerald eyes and his mind spinning scent!

Holy cow.

I was one lucky gal as I saw Harry coming out of the bathroom, fully dressed and ready to go. He washed his hair so his curls were all over the place but it was so sexy and adorable at the same time I honestly didn’t know how he managed it all.

“I swear I don’t know how I got so lucky,” he said as he walked over to me, sneaking his arms around me and kissing my neck right up to beneath my ear then across my jawline. “You look bloody stunning,” he complimented me which made my heart flutter and cheeks flush red.

I didn’t even realise I closed my eyes and my lips parted as he pressed open mouthed kisses on my skin and his hand was squeezing my bum here and there. Being so close to him just allowed me to inhale his typical Harry smell which yes indeed it included the minty flavour or scent or whatever of his chewing gum that never seemed to leave his mouth.

“I love your ass,” he whispered in my ear as he pressed a whole lot of new kisses onto my skin. “I also love you. Like crazy.”

“I feel like we’re on our honeymoon,” I chuckled then a sigh left my lips as he nibbled on my earlobe and dragged his tongue down the side of my neck. “You’ve gotta stop this, now.”

“Do I really?” he murmured into my skin as he held me closer to his body.

“Behave, mister,” I said weakly, not being able to control myself as he took over me just by kissing my neck and gripping my ass.

How was he doing this?

“Alright-alright,” he gave in as he pulled away. His usual side smirk was still on his face then he laughed which caused his eyes to crinkle and his dimples to deepen in his cheeks. “I’d love to come back here with you for, like, a month.”

“Are you crazy?” I looked at him with wide eyes as I took my phone out of my bag. “I don’t have the expenses to afford a whole month in Hawaii.”

“I’ll pay it,” he shrugged like it was no big deal. Which I understood. He was a multibillionaire. Of course he could afford it.

He could’ve bought the entire island if he wanted to with all the money he had.

“Alright, whatever,” I laughed it off as I walked past him. “You can’t just say stuff like this. I hate it when you pay for all my stuff. You didn’t let me pay for my own plane tickets because you wanted us to fly first class.”

“So what’s wrong with that? I can afford it. I want to buy things, nice things, for you; I want to spend my money on you. I love you, of course I spoil you.”

“You spoil me too much, though. You don’t have to win me over with your money you have already won me over with your personality and I just want you to know that you are enough for me. You are an amazing man, I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend than you and I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart.

You honestly make me go crazy, like, absolutely nuts. I cannot keep my hands off of you and I think you already know this but I can’t stop looking at you either. You are honestly the greatest, kindest, most humble guy I have ever met in my life and I’m so freaking grateful to have you. I’m so damn blessed.”

His eyes kept looking into mine as I rambled on about how much I loved him or something along those lines. I didn’t even know what I was saying because the words just left my mouth and I was hoping and praying that nothing silly was spoken by me.

“Right, this is final,” he said slowly as he nodded and swallowed. “I am for sure, like, 100% taking you to Hawaii for a whole month and I am paying it all. We are flying first class and you will not bring any money, not even your bank card. Like I am literally going to pay for everything for you.”

“Like hell you will! Calm your tits, pal. Just cause I tell you how much I love you and how amazing you are, which you should know anyway, doesn’t mean that you can just become my sugar daddy. I am not giving you sugar for money although it comes in handy sometimes…” I joked around which caused him to laugh with his head back and hand on his stomach.

It was the prettiest view and the most angelic sound I have heard that day. I loved making Harry laugh and smile and happy.

He deserved the best and I was determined to give him the best. Even if I couldn’t be considered as the best.

**

The dinner was on the beach, the sun was still up so it gave us enough light to see each other and be able to have food outside. It was lovely as we heard the tides of the sea crashing on the sandy shore and the slightly salty yet extremely fresh smell filled my lungs.

Harry was sitting on my right side while Lily was on his left side, talking his ear off which I found rather funny. Especially when he could barely control himself so his hand gripped my thigh a bit firmer as his it was resting there.

He leaned over to me when the little girl got up from the table and left with her mum to go somewhere, his nose slightly nuzzling against mine as a quiet sigh escaped his lips.

“If we ever have a daughter I do not know how I’ll cope,” he said chuckling and I joined him. He pressed his lips against mine in a soft kiss and pulled away just to do it again several times after the first one. “I love you.”

“I love you,” I smiled as my eyes fluttered open just to look right into his shining green ones.

Before I fully moved away from him I kissed his cheek which caused him to blush a little and I found that adorable. I didn’t know why he blushed whenever I kissed him but I loved it like I loved him.

“What would you like to name our daughter?” I asked him suddenly as we were both leaning back in our chairs, the people at the table were all in deep conversation about something.

“Hmmm,” he hummed, putting his elbow on the arm of the chair he was sitting on as he leaned his chin against the side of his index finger. “I don’t know, I think-, we are most probably going to change it right as she’ll be born. Y’know how random we are,” he laughed.

“Right I think we would and will probably end up doing that,” I agreed. At that point I didn’t realise we were talking like it is going to happen but to be honest we had a good relationships and I didn’t see anything that could possibly damage our bond in the near future.

Anything’s possible for us. We have the chance to create a family together in the future and that makes me excited.

“But, urm, something special I think,” I said finally, after he thought about it a bit. “I’d definitely want something for her that would suit her and a name that would be special and unique.”

“As special and unique as Bear Payne or…” I grinned at him which caused him to widen his eyes and it was the funniest thing ever. Then I clocked on. I just shaded his best mate’s son’s name and I didn’t even mean to do that. “I mean that’s not actually what I wanted to say.”

“Oh my god,” he continued to laugh as he covered his mouth with his hand. Then he put the other one over his hand that was already on his lips and his whole body was shaking as he made fun of me making fun of Liam’s son’s name.

But I didn’t really.

I thought it was cute and of course a bit unusual but definitely unique. I think it was mainly his girlfriend who decided on the name so I can’t really give all the credit to Liam for giving his son the name he got in the end.

“Stop it, Harry,” I punched his arm with my fist but I didn’t actually hurt him. This got him though because he stopped and put on a fake hurt face which made me laugh. He was honestly so goofy and playful, sometimes it just made me wanna have kids with him as I wanted to see him with them. “So, what about our daughter’s name then, huh?”

“Okay, let’s talk like adults then,” he said as he cleared his throat and a big sigh left his lips. “I would probably like to call her, um, Maya or something.”

“Maya or something?” I asked back as my eyebrow arched up higher than I could have drawn it as I was getting ready.

“I like Maya, it’s, well, I think it’s different. What do you think? Do you like it?”

“I mean it’s a pretty name but I’m not too keen on it,” I told him my honest opinion. “I’d rather call her something more-, I don’t know. Something more umpfh if you get me?”

Umpfh,” he repeated. His eyes slowly looked into mine and I already saw his smirk growing bigger and bigger. Then before I knew it his head was leaned back and he was laughing his ass off. “Right, describe this umpfh for me, please, pretty girl.”

“You’re just making fun of me, you deserve no explanation,” I told him with a serious face expression but deep down I was dying from the laughter I had to hold back.

God why were we such a goofy and childish couple? We didn’t take anything seriously, we laughed most of the time that we spent together and basically we were both just a mess as soon as we saw each other or started talking.

We could be texting and when I type out that “I’m crying I can’t cope I’m pissing myself” I’m actually like that. Some people just text that stuff, I actually feel it and do it. I mean yeah, Harry is funny…

But I’m hilarious.

I think I laugh at my own jokes more than Harry does. But then again he laughs at his own jokes too. And sometimes we laugh at each other’s – well, okay, we laugh all the fucking time I don’t even know what I’m trying to say anymore.

We’re funny and end of.

Whoops- Montgomery x reader smut

Well shit, Montgomery. What the fuck.

Warnings: Smut, swearing

I need Jesus holy cow.

Originally posted by montedelacruz


“Come on y/n, its gonna be so fun!” Sherri exclaims, jumping up and down while holding onto my arm. We were sitting on my bed, Sherri trying to convince me of going to the party tonight at Bryce’s.

“I don’t know Sherri…” I begin but am immediately cut off by Sherri putting her finger over my mouth and shushing me.

“Pleaseeeee” she begs, putting her hands together in a ball and shaking them back and fourth, begging. I simply roll my eyes and nod, Sherri jumping up and hugging me. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I promise, were gonna have a blast. I’ll pick you up at 9, alright?” Sherri asks, grabbing her bag off the floor and beginning to exit my room.

“Yeah yeah, sure.” I say, waving her a quick goodbye. Tonight was another one of your typical high school parties, however like usual, I did not want to go. Parties just really aren’t my thing. Being as the time is 8 o’ clock, I begin to get ready. Somehow, I manage to shower, do my hair, makeup, and pick out an outfit for tonight within the span of that given hour. By 9:15, I’m reminding my parents that I’m staying at Sherri’s tonight and waving them goodbye on my way out to Sherri’s car.

“Look at my best friend, looking all hot and shit.” Is my greeting from Sherri as I enter her car. I just laugh and give her a quick hug before taking over the AUX and plugging in my phone, playing some bomb throwback music. We drive down the streets heading over to Bryce’s house jamming to “Party In the USA”, a classic. Getting out of the car upon reaching our destination, I realize lots of girls are in short, tight dresses. I, on the other hand, am in black shorts with a maroon tank top, pairing with my converse. I shrug off the questions I’m having about my outfit choice and walk into the house with Sherri, immediately running into Jess and Justin.

“Hey guys!” Jess yells, obviously being a little overtaken by the alcohol in her system. “Drinks are in the kitchen, keg out back, you know the drill.”

“Thanks Jess” Sherri says, pulling me over to kitchen and begins to make me a drink. Once finished, she hands it over to me and I take a sip. Immediately I can taste the alcohol and I nearly gag it all up.

“Jesus, Sherri, what’s in this?” I ask, looking in the cup as if I was going to be able to figure it out that way.

“Oh you know, a little bit of everything” Sherri winks at me as I laugh and take another sip, when suddenly I feel an arm wrap around my waist and pull me in.

“Well, would ya look who it is, y/n and Sherri, coming to having a little fun with their favorite guy” The possessor of the arm says from behind me. I simply laugh and turn around to face the guy of whom the voice obviously belonged to.

“You’re a funny guy there, Monty.” I say, pulling his arm from around my waist and dropping it by his side. The smirk on his face becomes bigger as I roll my eyes and take a big sip of whatever the hell Sherri has made me, turning my back to him. Not going to lie when I say I’ve always found Montgomery really fucking hot… I mean he’s a complete asshole, but hot nonetheless.

“You know, I could show you how much of a fun guy I can be.” Monty breathes into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I shake my head, simply walking away to the outside area where I find Jeff, Alex, and Zach hanging out around the pool.

“Hey guys!” I say, joining in their little group.

“Hey y/n!” Zach exclaims, throwing his arm around me. I’ve always been super close with these three boys, so I didn’t feel awkward in the least butting into their conversation.

“What’re you guys up to?” I ask, looking around to see who else is in the area.

“Nothing much, just chilling out.” Alex says, shrugging.

I was talking to them about school and sports when Jeff taps me on the shoulder.

“Hey y/n, Montgomery over there has been staring at you for the past couple minutes… need me to go beat him up?” Jeff asks, staring Montgomery down. I just laugh and shake my head.

“No need Atkins, I’ll take care of this one.” I tell him, backhanding him playfully in the chest before waving a quick goodbye to the others. I walk my way over to Montgomery, who is now looking down at his phone. “What’s with you Monty?” I ask, hitting him on the arm lightly. He looks up at his phone, directly in my eyes and at that moment I can tell something’s up. Before I can ask, Montgomery grabs my hand and pulls me inside to the nearest bedroom, where he slams the door and immediately crashes his lips on mine. I kiss back, disappointed when he pulls away, his hungry eyes looking me up and down.

“Fuck, y/n, you’re such a fucking tease” Montgomery gets out between breaths while kissing my neck. “You’ve only just got here, but I’ve been thinking about you since. And fucking hell y/n, you’re gonna pay for it.” I bite down on my lip, feeling myself getting wetter by the second. Like I’ve said before, Montgomery was fucking hot, so I had no problem with this. I nod my head, a small moan escaping my lips as Monty makes his way down to my chest, roughing kissing. He then pulls away, and looks me deeply in the eyes as he pushes me over to the bed, forcing me down on it.

“We’re gonna play a little game.” He says, sitting down near my legs. He begins simply rubbing one as he explains this game. “You see, tonight you are mine. I have complete and utter control over you, you hear me?” Monty says, nearing his face to mine, leaving random kisses on my body. “A little slut like you doesn’t get to cum whenever, so you have to wait till I say,” By now, he’s by my ear, nearly whispering. “You’re in for a rough fucking night y/n” Montgomery says, nipping my ear. I let out a small moan as I nod, practically dripping down under at this point.

“Fuck, alright Monty.” I say, pleading to be touched. I see a smirk form on his face as he sits back, letting out a huff of air.

“Tonight, I’m daddy to you, alright babe?” Monty says, and quickly I nod my head. All of a sudden, I feel him on top of me, kissing me roughly. His tongue shoves in way into my mouth, fighting with me over dominance. Painfully slowly, he begins to remove my shorts and tank, leaving me only in my lacy underwear and black matching bra. Biting his lip,  he quickly removes my bra and goes to work at my breasts, sucking on one and massaging the other. Moans are flying out of my mouth like crazy when suddenly the pleasure goes away, leaving me angry. I look to find Monty standing at the foot of the bed, a devilish look on his face.

“You see, I’m not here to do all the work for you, Now do what daddy asks, and please yourself.” Monty says, an evil smirk taking over his face. I groan at the idea, using my hands to slowing being massaging my breasts and making their way down my stomach to my underwear, in which I quickly throw off my body. I use one digit to feel myself, seeing how wet I am. I spread my legs and inset a digit to my soaking core, a loud moan escaping my lips. I begin pumping in and out, slowly at first, and then begin to pick up speed, groaning loudly. I insert another digit, and another, pumping in and out of my core as quickly as I can. I look up and make eye contact with a now shirtless Montgomery as I feel the pleasure becoming more intense, my high nearing. I see him bite his lip and he rushes over to me, pulling my fingers out of my dripping vagina. I whine at the lose of contact, but immediately feel the slamming of his fingers deep in my core.

“Fuck D- fuck!” Is all I manage to get out, throwing my head back as Monty uses his thumb to intensely rub my clit, his other hand holding down my hips from bucking up. I feel my high approach and I moan out. “Fuck, fuck, hol- fu- I’m gonna…. fuck” I gasp out, about ready to release when Monty completely stops everything he’s doing, and pulls his fingers out of me.

“What the actual fuck?” I ask, but I’m forced down on his lips as I feel his pants being removed, leaving him in his underwear. I break the kiss, moving down to his underwear band, nipping at it. He throws it off his body, his throbbing member springing up. He grabs my hair, collecting it into a ponytail, and forced my head down on his dick. Moving my head up and down, I continue to fill my throat with his member, using my hands to get whatever I cant fit. Monty above me is a moaning mess, and I feel his dick twitch in my mouth, the hot cum shooting down the back of my throat.

I’m then flipped over on my back, my neck being attacked as I hear a wrapper being opened and a few seconds later, feeling Monty slam into me. A loud moan comes from both of us, and he beings to quickly pound in and out of me. Monty takes both of my legs and puts them over his shoulders to reach deeper into me, and I’m over whelmed with immediate pleasure. Every trust is hitting my G-spot and I cant get enough of it. He picks up the speed, swearing under his breath.

“Shi- fuck, you’re so fucking tight” he breaths out, slamming deeper and deeper into me with every trust. I feel my near approaching, throwing my head back and arching my back.

“Fuck, daddy, I’m so close” I whimper, feeling the knot in my stomach getting tighter and tighter. At this point Monty’s head has found its way to my neck and I’m scratching at his back like crazy.

“Fuck. me too.” He says, thrusting harder and deeper, grunting on top of me. “You want to cum, don’t you, you little slut?” I nod my head, arching my back as I feel the knot about to release. “Alright babe, now” Monty get out, as I scream out his name beneath him. That must have set him off too because a few seconds later he’s picking up the speed an riding out both of our highs. His thrusts become sloppy and slow.

He pulls out of me and disposes of the condom, putting his clothes back on. I take a look in the mirror, gasping. “God Monty, you couldn’t have made these any more noticeable?” I say sarcastically to him, pointing out 3 huge hickeys on my neck already forming. Being the asshole he is, Montgomery laughs, shrugging it off with a simple “Whoops!” and winks at me before exiting the room back to the party. A few minutes later, I leave as well.

Throughout the rest of the night I catch Montgomery’s eye and he winks at me, smirks always forming on his face. Lets just say that wasn’t the last time I’d be covered in hickeys by Monty.


glitchdecay  asked:

I JUST READ THE NEW CHAPTER AND I'M LIKE??? **FUKUNAGA ACTUALLY SPEAKS**!!!!???? HOLY SHIT NTRKHILUEWUIMTVOY

e

I kept the rhyme, yea boiii

the original said ,”yarisugi dostoyevsky.”

Now I’m wondering if I missed a reference to Fyodor Dostoyevsky but like my gut feeling is Fukunaga was going for a how now brown cow what’s up chicken butt kinda thing. l0l 

No Comebacks

[No Angel] [No Comebacks] [No More and No Less]

pairing: rafael casal x reader

request: a couple people wanted a part two of No Angel, and eons ago someone requested “In celebration of you getting trashed last night and Rafa liking your drunk tweet…. a Rafa X reader where reader gets drunk and Rafa takes care of her… like… like sexually if you didn’t get that. and then when they wake up she’s really hungover and he takes care of her but in the fluff way.“

summary: rafa has been ignoring reader after their night together, so reader tries to go out to a party and forget him. it doesn’t work.

warnings: swearing, alcohol, smut, vague D/s mentions, lowkey praise kink

word count: 5,786

a/n: this is the SECOND part of the “no angel” series. it will make sense without the first part but it will make more sense with it. also, briefly want to state (because someone felt the need to scold me about it in my ask box) i don’t endorse student-teacher relationships, and because i’m sure someone will have something to say about it, i also don’t want to encourage you to go to big parties alone and get sloppy drunk with strangers. be safe okay. other than that please enjoy love u bunches. and i still want rafael casal to bone me.


“Good morning,” you shuffle into the kitchen, shooting a sleepy smile at Rafael.

“Morning,” he murmurs, looking up from the stove to beam at you.

Your heart gives a little flutter. His smile is blindingly bright, and looking at him right now feels a lot like looking into the sun.

“I made pancakes,” he says, sliding one onto a plate and offering it to you.

You take the plate and set it down at a placemat, hopping up onto the chair at the counter.

“Thanks,” you fix the hem of the shirt Rafa had given you to wear, straightening it out over the tops of your thighs. “You really didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” he replies simply, walking up behind you. He leans down and presses a kiss to the top of your head before sitting next to you.

You begin to eat the pancake, letting one of your legs swing back-and-forth gently. The two of you eat in silence for a couple minutes, and you’re grateful. Your mind isn’t exactly the sharpest this soon after waking up.

“I think it’s pretty disrespectful to have sex with someone, talk until you fall asleep holding them, and then not provide them with breakfast in the morning,” Rafael adds, picking up his coffee mug and taking a sip.

“Ah yes. It’s truly a shame not everyone can be as well-mannered as you,” you laugh, setting your fork down on your now empty plate.

“You know,” he peers over at the clock on the microwave. “I don’t have anywhere to be for a couple more hours…”

“Is that so?” You turn toward him, a smirk spreading across your face.

“Do you know what that means?” He smirks back at you, wiggling one eyebrow in your direction.

“Mm,” you hum, rising from the seat. “We can cuddle more?”

“Exactly,” he agrees, nodding.

You giggle, taking one of his hands. “I was kidding, but if you don’t want to have sex again-”

“Oh, I said no such thing,” he reprimands, standing and tugging you toward his bedroom.

That was a week ago. And you hadn’t heard from him since.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

prompt: What if 2013 Aleks and 2017 Aleks switched places? and maybe novahd is a thing in 2017 but it wasn't in 2013 and 2013!Aleks is surprised but in a good way and 2017!Aleks is all smug because he knows 2013!James likes him. I just love how much Aleks has changed and yet stayed the same since 2013 and James is kind of a constant for him...

I FEEL LIKE IN THE LIGHT OF TODAY’S VIDEO THIS IS ESPECIALLY RELEVANT LMAO 

but this is still so cute? because like… 2013 james is probably a little frazzled by the current aleks, who has platinum blond hair and two full sleeves now and seems to have been hitting the gym and is also even more of a MEME LOVING FUCK and 2013 james is pretty much just trying to figure out That Situation and aleks is just like Oh Yeah, you had really short hair once immediately followed by OH YEAH YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON ME LOLLL except that’s also… cute, in retrospect to him, but no one needs to know that.

and of course looking back on all this and realizing HOW MUCH he and james are going to go through. boy he’s just gonna let james gawk at him a bit and then they can. go play minecraft or something. 

(they both still laugh the same regardless of how old they are, and it’s… funny how much james has changed but also stayed the same.) 

meanwhile 2013 aleks is just looking around the warehouse like “what the fuck is this and what the fuck is cow chop” and now 2017 james has the option to prevent The Big Fire plus many other Incidents but mostly he’s like “i remember when you were this emo little twink holy fuck” 

and he has to explain it, like, “couch co-op. cow chop. you and me, it’s our channel! we do… admittedly dumb shit on it, most of the time” and aleks is just like…. ? ???????? i mean sure???? why did we do that??? why are we in LA and like who are half of these people

james has a lot to explain 

including “oh by the way we’re, like, dating or whatever”

which is hilarious because aleks just goes bright fuckin’ red in the face

“what the fuck, dude? we’re not dating” “we totally are!!” “we’re not” “ALEKSANDR I’M TELLING YOU, WE’RE DATING, WE HOLD HANDS AND KISS AND SHIT” 

and of course aleks is like “gross dude what the fuck” but it’s with that stupid half-grinning, half-laughter squinty-eyed face and james is like DAMNIT you SON OF A BITCH, never change

2017 aleks is just chillin with 2013 james, basking in the knowledge that james is Flustered and that’s why he won’t shut the fuck up

2

i guess you could say that she has a Marvel-ous booty hehe *ahem*
i’d like to take a moment and thank fool’s gold and it’s creators for introducing me to longboader!Danny 

anonymous asked:

Could you maybe do genderfluid Leo headcannons?

  • With time they become really good at doing makeup, but one way or another it always ends up smudged. They claim that it’s just for the aesthetic
  • They haven’t got time for gender roles, they’ll wear a skirt or dress when they’re a boy and fucking rock it
  • They spent so much of their life overcompensating, trying to present themselves as more masculine then they really felt to try and fit in, so when they finally accept they gender, they finally allow themselves to present in the more feminine way that he always wanted to
  • They always seem to be wearing chipped nail polish. It doesn’t matter if they painted them a second ago, when turn they look away for a second and look back, they’ll be chipped
  • MULTICOLOURED SUSPENDERS! suspenders coloured like the genderfluid flag, blue suspenders for days when they’re a boy, pink for when they’re a girl, green when they’re nonbinary etc etc
  • They cannot for the life of them master the art of walking in heels, but they refuse to give up (they are determined to find a way to be at least taller than Nico)
  • They make their own jewellery that can turn into weapons/have special features that quickly become popular to the point where they start selling them
  • They tried growing their hair out, but long hair + forges = very bad, so they stick with short hair. But they do go through a number of styles (bob cut, pixie cut etc)
  • Unless they know they have to make an effort, they throw absolutely anything on so they tend to look like a hot mess
  • They deeply love red lipstick (they totally sung Ke$ha’s Red Lipstick while wearing it once at the campfire) and even get their hair dip dyed that colour
  • Definitely loves singing This Girl is on Fire when they’re a girl
  • Uses they/them unless they’re a girl, in which case they lean more towards she/her pronouns
  • Very androgynous, and smoking hot no matter what their gender is that day
  • I can’t remember who said this, but someone said they had chubby leo as a hc so holy cow, imagine chubby genderfluid leo. Holy shit, that would be amazing.
  • They have this one red dress that they adore and pretty much wear all the time (Sally bought it for them)
  • Everyone is gay for them
  • You can bet they have an abundance of trans/genderfluid puns
file updated btw


Honestly Yuri doesn’t even know why he calls Yuu-chan. It’s an instinct. There’s nothing she can do for him, but it seems very important that he hide in the bathroom and hiss, “Victor Nikiforov is going into rut and I think he just hit on me!!!” when she says “hello?”

“WHAT,” shrieks Yuu-chan. Yuri hopes the girls are at school. “HE - OH?? MY GOD??? ARE YOU OKAY? YURI??????”

“I don’t know!” says Yuri. “Things are very weird right now! I had to make him take a shower and scrub behind his knees! I’m freaking out!”

Yuu-chan makes a noise like a dying cow and yells, “HOLY SHIT, SAME??? OH MY GOD????? HE’S REALLY IN RUT????? YURI –” There’s a clatter like she had to sit down in shock, and then Takeshi takes the phone from Yuu-chan and laughs uproariously at Yuri for what seems like forever before lapsing into snuffling giggles. In the background, Yuu-chan is making high pitched shrieking noises, like a leaky tea kettle.

TOM: Holy shit, guys.
TOM: Suck his dick a little harder, why don’t you?

EDD: Holy cow, Matt.
EDD: You got tons of fan mail!

MATT: I…
MATT: I have fans?!?!?!

MATT: Oh!
MATT: I just like to tie my hair up when I sleep!
MATT: It keeps it from getting too crazy, y’know?

MATT: Oh, haha, um…
MATT: Unfortunately not.
MATT: I wish though! It’s, uh…
MATT: It’s been a little while since I was in a real relationship!

TOM: Why are you people so obsessed with our love lives?

EDD: What are you talking about, Tom?
EDD: This is the first time any of them have asked about that stuff.

TOM: Oh, uh…
TOM: Yeah, guess you’re right.
TOM: My bad.
TOM: Haha.
TOM: Ha.
TOM: …

EDD: Look, I had to choose someone to kill, and it wasn’t gonna be Matt or Tom.
EDD: Plus, we’ve been through a lot, too!
EDD: You don’t have to guilt trip me for playing a dumb game.

MATT: Hmm…
MATT: Well, to be perfectly honest with you, I don’t really know how to feel about Tord, yet.
MATT: Heck, I barely knew the guy to begin with, and then he punched me in the face!
MATT: My pretty, pretty face!!
MATT: (Though he did apologize for that when he came back…)
MATT: …
MATT: Wait, did you say he’s not come out of his room yet?
MATT: It’s nearly noon! He’s usually up by six!
MATT: Have either of you checked on him?

TOM: Not once in my life.

EDD: I figured he was just having a lazy day or something.

MATT: That’s most unlike him…

MATT: Well I’m going to see how he’s doing if no one else will.

EDD: Yeah, alright… let us know if he needs anything, okay?

TOM: Or totally don’t.

THIS FUCKIN FINALE!!!

So I am just gonna throw all my emotions into this fuckin post because holy shit I have so many.

First off, I just want to say I loved this finale. It took me a moment to realize I did but once I sat back for a minute I realized I loved it. This finale made me laugh, made me cry, made me gasp and made me scream. So much shit happened, I am still processing it.

1.  ALFRED PENNYWORTH
DID THAT MOTHER FUCKER NOT PULL ON YOUR HEART STRINGS LIKE HOLY COW!!! I thought it was a lot when he called Bruce his boy two episodes in a row, but DAMN he made me fuckin cry. One of my favorite relationships in this entire show, and in the batman franchise in general, has always been Alfred and Bruce. I have always loved when they give us a time to show us how much Alfred loves Bruce and what he is willing to do for him. The reminiscing was emotional. Alfred telling Bruce about when he first held him and realized that he will protect this boy at all cost, talking about his parents and just reminding Bruce how much he is loved. And Alfred finally straight up said “I LOVE YOU” that hurt me so much. We all know that Alfred loves Bruce and would die for him, but hearing him say it out loud was heart warming. When Bruce stabbed Alfred, that was one of the worst feelings I have ever felt. It took me back when they killed off Sweets in Bones and how I was just praying that he wouldn’t die. For about 2 minutes straight I thought they murdered Alfred for good and if they did I would have shut my television off because I was not going to have two of my favorite characters die in one fuckin episode. Thank you Gotham for the Butler love it was much appreciated!!!

2. Jim and Harvey
Aside from Alfred and Bruce, Jim and Harvey is my other fav. These last 3 episodes, really show how much Harvey cares about Jim. He probably asked Jim if he was okay like 30 times. Jim had the virus and he still stuck by his side, even though there was a chance Jim could go off any minute. I love the way the episode ended, Jim was cured and Lee left Gotham (again) but it followed with Harvey taking Jim out for a drink. Showing that no matter what demons and dangers Jim faces, Harvey will always have his back. Keep it up Gotham you are doing great with this bromance!!!

3. Fish Mooney
Not even gonna talk about. It sucked. It was terrible. It was un called for. This will be my one “fuck you” to Gotham

4. Jim and Lee
Sorry guys… I just… it’s…. I JUST REALLY WANT JIM AND LEE TO BE TOGETHER!!!! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO FUCKIN ASK!!! I MEAN THE TWO ACTORS ARE MARRIED IN REAL LIFE IS IT THAT HARD???? I am glad though that Lee is no longer mad at Jim. That she did hint in her letter that she would want to be with him again, and that if she stuck around to say goodbye, she wouldnt be able to bring herself to leave. Would it have been difficult for them to just leave it off with them on a clean slate? They didn’t have to get together, but idk what is going on with Morena. I don’t know if she still plans on being in the show or if that was her goodbye. I really hope not. I hope somehow Lee will find her way back to Gotham and her and Jim can start anew.

5. Bruce and Selina
Oh these two teenagers. Always fighting. Never on the same page. Look I get where the batcat babies are coming from. Bruce nearly lost Alfred. He is feeling like shit, and Selina, who refused to talk to him for weeks, shows up and wants to know what happened. I get why he would be a little upset. But I also get why Selina did what she did. Selina has been in survival mode ever since she could remember. And in survival mode you don’t have time for feelings. When Selina thought that Bruce was dead, she immediately distanced herself. Because she did not want to feel the pain of loosing him (She was even trying to get money to leave town, probably to just put everything behind her). We all know that Selina does care about Bruce, she is just not that good at showing love, considering that is something that was rarely shown to her. And if Bruce wasn’t in such an emotional state, he’d probably realize that her showing up was her way of showing she cares. Don’t worry, you both will have enough time to sort your shit out when you are in your animal costumes.

6. NYGMOBBLEPOT
OKAY I AM SAVING THIS ONE FOR LAST BECAUSE IT WAS THE MOST FUNNIEST!!! After the episode was over, I couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that Oswald froze Ed and put him in a fuckin club. Like that has to be… hands down… the most…. extra thing these two have ever done!!! It was awesome because it was something nobody was expecting. It was so entertaining. Also, please tell me I wasn’t the only one who was expecting Ed and Oswald to kiss at that dock scene? I was literally telling myself “oh my god. It’s going to happen. I can’t believe it. Like this? No not like this.” I was kind of shocked when they didn’t kiss.  It is obvious that Oswald still loves Ed. I honestly do believe that at some point, Ed and Oswald will become friends again. I mean the writers said it, these two will forever be drawn to each other. Eventually they will have to end this killing charade and Ed and Oz will have to reach some sort of agreement to just leave each other alone. 

 Between the Butler love, the buddy cop love, the Nygmobblepot angst and batcat finally fulfilling their true destinies, this episode was amazing and I am now, more than ever, looking forward to Season 4.

anonymous asked:

am I the worst because honestly I want Kane or someone to radio Clarke and say Bellamy went out in the black rain and hasn't come back and I want Clarke to freak the fuck out and maybe cry and have Abby comfort her and... I JUST WANT TO SEE CLARKE THINK BELLAMY IS DEAD AND THEN THE RELIEF ONCE SHE FINDS OUT HES OKAY

At first I was like, nah, that’s so not like Clarke who is always so stiff upper lippy… but she isn’t around Abby. Abby is the only person she’s ALWAYS been able to freak out around and cry around (which may be why she pushed her away in polis last season, now that I think about it.)  So yeah, Abby being there could definitely allow Clarke to freak the fuck out.

And THEN I started thinking about how our friends out there might react to Clarke freaking out about maybe losing Bellamy, and I’d love to get Luna’s perspective on that. And then I thought. Oh my god, well if we could see RAVEN watching Clarke freak out about losing Bellamy that would be delicious. What would she say to Clarke? Well that’s almost fan fiction tbh. Raven being a nosybody (which is canon) about Clarke and Bellamy’s pining. And then I thought

OH MY GOD I WANT TO SEE MURPHY WATCH CLARKE LOSE HER SHIT OVER THINKING SHE LOST BELLAMY HOLY COW PLEASE LET MURPHY WITNESS THAT. WHAT WOULD HE DO?

Now I really want that. 

Damn you.

I made some really awesome tumblr friends

@cyanocitta-blattidae
Best advice
Super chill
Really fun to talk to
has the best ideas
me if i had common sense 
Overall 1000/10 friend I love them so much (no hetero tho) thank you for putting up with my screaming and listening to my issues you dont know how much that means. Plus you are a huge inspiration 
TL:DR: Would fuck a stick if it could consent And he does

@coc0b3an 
New friend!!!
Super chill
COWS
literally so positive like???
My actual Mother
Overall Blue Ribbon Friend. You are so sweet and chill and like offered to help me on my homework like what kind of angel are you holy fuck. Lets not even get started on their amazing art. Plus you like cows how good can it get.

TL:DR: Would hug a cow over a person

@drpepperphd
Ho
Deer
Slut for Cervines
Extremely cool (lies youre a dork)
Chaotic Nuetral
420/69 Okay but like if you ever need someone to talk about weird shit with. This guy. Like you are honestly a cutie and soooo tall too. How do you do that. All the memes and super gay

TD:DR: Would kiss their boyfriend while looking you dead in the eye

@the-trash-stash
bROH
New friend also!!!!
Same person
Twin.
hELLFUCKER
100% Fallen angel. We have alot of the same interests and issues and holy hell youre rad??? Best person to fuck a priest with like HMU I love you. You are really cool and like we should hang out lots omg 

TL:DR: Would fuck you in a monastery 

bat-chik  asked:

Top 5 reasons you like Bucky Barnes?

5. he’s a smartass lil’ shit sometimes
(okay maybe more than sometimes) [x] [x] [x]
4. he whispered ‘holy cow’ while at a science fair. what a cute nerd! [x]
3. he’s selfless [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]
2. he’s brave (and a badass) [x] [x] [x}
1. despite all the horrible stuff he’s been thru, he’s still KIND. like, MCU!Bucky didn’t even get revenge on the people who hurt him (even tho i was 100% on board with the idea of Bucky’s REVENGE 2k14 - 2k16) and i … *tries not to cry* …he’s just such a good person *ugly cries* [x]