holy bacon

onetrappedunder  asked:

Have you guys noticed that weird Bendy statues around? Rumour has it that they are capable of ressurecting dead people.

”Where is your source on that?…And Henry is not a valid source! I’m pretty sure he actually drinks the bacon soup, so I take everything he says he sees with a grain of salt.”

2

Art imitates life~

OKAY!!! so I’m not the only one who thought Lances towel wrap looked just like the girl with a pearl earning???!?!?? *crickets* k
Or am I just an art hoe? …. either way take this Lance redraw for what it is lol

2

Are you all about food?

Are you also all about lewd anime scenes involving food?

Then I feel like shokugeki no soma would be right up your alley, cause it’s right up mine tbh.

One recipe, the first recipe to appear in the anime, is called the Pork Roast- Just Kidding! And while potatoes, bacon, and red wine all contribute to make a fine ass dish, I decide to tweak some things to make a great dish even greater.

So here’s my take, kids, get fuckin psyched.

~

Roast Pork- Just Kidding!!

serves: 8

-

Ingredients-

  • 5 Large Yukon Gold Potatoes
  • 1 Tbsp sour cream
  • 5 Tbsp softened butter
  • ¼ cup heavy cream
  • 2 Tbsp black truffle butter
  • 1 onion, medium dice
  • 4 Tbsp butter (for onions)
  • 1 small head oyster mushrooms, minced finely
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • 12 strips thick cut bacon
  • 4 long very thinly sliced strips of shabu shabu pork belly

-

Sauce recipe-

  • 1 ½ cups of a cheap red wine
  • 3 tbsp soy sauce
  • 3 tbsp regular butter
  • 3 tbsp black truffle butter
  • Salt to taste

~

Procedure-

  • Peel, cut and boil ur potates in salted water till they’re fork tender. Then drain those puppies, mash them reay nice and whip them with the sour cream, butter, truffle butter, and heavy cream. Set aside
  • Take your chopped onions and throw them into a pan with some butter. Get shit done with this caramelizing method. You can sub out water for cognac tho if u want. In the meantime preheat your oven to 400 degrees
  • Once the onions are almost done, add in the minced shroomz and cook those hoes till they’re nice and buttery and tender. Once that’s all done, season with a little salt and add to the ‘tatoez. Let that mofo cool down in the fridge for like ½ hour before you continue on.
  • HOLY SHIT BACON TIME. As much of a trendy shitty quirky overused trashbag bacon has become, it’s still delicious, so we’re gonna add that to these potates.
  • get your thick cut bacon and lay out like 5 to 8, depending on how thick the strips are, weave the other strips in perpendicularly and add the potatoes atop the bacon, forming it into a weird log shape. Fold the bacon over, flip over the oval roast log thing and wrap thin strips of the shabu shabu pork belly around it, and fill various holds with the pork belly in order to prevent leakage.
  • throw that shit in the oven with some thyme and rosemary and roast until the bacons dark and crispy.
  • Remove from oven, inhale the beauty, and glaze with a bit of black truffle butter if you don’t mind becoming hella obese. Let that mofo cool while you get started on your fancy ass sauce.

-

Procedure for Sauce-

  • In the meantime, get your wine sauce ready by adding the wine to a relatively hot pan, once the wine’s reduced by half, add the soy sauce and then get it to a low heat. Quickly whisk in the butter, finishing with the black truffle butter and seasoning with additional salt.
  • Pour sauce around the ‘roast and garnish with sprigs of rosemary.

~

holy shit guys u just made a fake roast so awesome it’ll make people’s clothes combust sexually due to the greatness.

Have fun and try not to serve it to your grandpa because we all know that adorable lump needs his clothing as on as it can possibly get.

The leopard and the Avenger

Warning: swearing (I cuss a lot just so you know)

Pairing: ? x reader, haven’t decided on who yet

Y/n: your name, Y/l/n: your last name, y/e/c: your eye color

This is the beginning of a new series, Feed back is greatly appreciated

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7

A/N: I googled the gif. I DO NOT OWN IT

               It was three in the morning. THREE. No one was awake and Fury, well Fury had issues he had to deal with. So here you were in the gym in the Avengers tower, hammering away at one of the punching bags with your long gold hair pulled back in a high ponytail. Fury had told no one that today was going to be your first day being part of the team but he had told them that they were getting a new team member. From what he told you that he told them that you had abilities that would complement everyone on the team.

               ‘Luckily that they don’t know about me being here just yet and of my abilities.’

After about an hour and a powerful punch to the bag later the bag flew across the gym with sand pouring out of a couple tears.

“Fuck!” You walked over to the bag and groaned. “Shit. I’m not even here two hours and I’m already breaking shit. Fury’s gonna be pissed.” You walked over to grab another sandbag when you realized that the hook for the bag was about a foot over your head. Being only 5’2 sucked massively. You looked around for a step latter to hook up the sandbag. “Fucking tall ass people. How can any normal size, well short person reach anything in here with everything up so damn fucking high.” You spot a step latter on the other side of the gym and made your way over to it. The click of your knee high Harley boots was the only sound other than your slight heavy breathing in the empty gym. Grabbing the latter, you made your way back to your original spot and hung up the new sandbag.

After another hour and just before the new bag broke again, you decided to call it quits. You look at your knuckles and smile knowing that you never have to wrap your hands before going to town on the bags.

The time was now about five maybe five thirty and from Fury told you about the team was that Captain Rogers always got up early, which everyone else would say an ungodly time to wake up. You can hear the elevator and you knew that he must be going out for a morning run. You decided that you were going to go the kitchen and make everyone breakfast since everyone was still asleep or out for a run.

With no one to show you where the kitchen was you got lost for a while. When you finally made it to the kitchen, you were extremely happy. You looked through the cabinets in search for things to make pancakes. Once everything was collected you started cooking. You found bacon and decided to cook that up as well seeing as your team consisted of two assassins, a demigod, a speedster, a telekinetic, a super solder, a scientist that can hulk out, three somewhat normal people, and now you. You were almost done cooking breakfast when you heard someone walking down the hall to the kitchen. You look up to see who it was and you see a tall man with shoulder length brown hair, piercing blue eyes but really caught your eye was his left arm, his metal left arm. ‘Fuck, he’s on the team. His eyes seem different though.’

“Who are you and what are you doing here?”

“I’m (Y/n) (y/l/n) and I’m supposed to be the newest member to the team that Fury had told everyone about.” You look him and smile sweetly. “I would offer to shake your hand but I’m in the middle of cooking.” ‘I hope to god he doesn’t remember me.’

Without another word he walked off, probably off towards the gym. Once everything was cooked, you set the table. The table had plates for everyone, butter, syrup, fruit that you found in the fridge, along with whipped cream and the fresh pancakes and bacon.

“Holy shit! Moon, you’re the new member?!” You turned around and saw your favorite archer standing in the doorway to the dining room.

“Robin Hood, it’s been like forever since I saw you!” You ran over to him, instantly wrapping your arms around his neck as his arms wrap around your waist. “How have you been, Big Red still the same kick ass lady that I love?”

“Yup, she should be getting up in a minute. Did you make breakfast for everyone?” He looked at the table all set up. “When did you get here?”

“Yup, Fury dropped me off really early. It was about three when I got here.”

“THREE! Damn, what the hell did you do since then?”

               You placed a kiss on his cheek before letting him go. “I was in the gym and accidentally broke a punching bag about an hour after getting here. I didn’t realize that I maybe the shortest person this team. Is everyone 5’10 or taller because damn shit is set way to damn high for me.” All Clint could do was laugh, he always thought it was cute when you had to try to reach something that was way out of arms reach. “Really Clint, it’s not funny. It sucks sometimes being this short. You would think the shit that HYDRA injected me with would make me grow but no, all the shit did was enhance what I already have.”

               “Is that my favorite kitten I hear?” Nat walks into the dining room. “You even made pancakes, Moon. You’re the best!” She walks over to you and gives you a big hug. “Hey FRIDAY, can you let everyone know that breakfast is ready.” She lets go of you and walks into the kitchen to make coffee for everyone. “Really Moon, you make food and forget to make coffee. How can you forget to make coffee?”

               “Sorry Red, you know that when I’m cooking I tend to forget things. I met one of the members and I recognize him from when I was held by HYDRA. He didn’t recognize me but I know I’ve seen him before.” Nat returns to the dining room with a cup of coffee. She can see the worry in your eyes. “I don’t remember if I ever interacted with him but I do remember them saying I was supposed to be a better version of him just without the metal arm and the ability to change into a leopard along with run faster than the original super soldier.”

               Just then everyone started filtering into the dining room and looked at the table almost questioning who cooked. Captain Rogers was the last person to walk in just after the brown haired man you knew as the Winter Soldier.

               “Who made breakfast?” A man with silver hair, electric blue eyes and what sounded like a Sokovian accent. He was cute but he didn’t look like he could be your type. He looked over at you and he instantly smirked when he noticed that you were looking at him. In a flash he was standing next to you holding your hand. “Who may I ask are you, krasivaya?” Everyone turned to look at you except the Winter Solder.

               Luckily for you Clint walked over to you, gave the silver haired man a look and wrapped his arm “This is (Y/n), this is the new member Fury told everyone about. She was nice enough to make everyone breakfast.”

               Rogers was the first one to come up to you. “I’m Steve Rogers, it’s nice to meet you.” He then sat down at the table as everyone introduced themselves. Well everyone but the soldier you knew from HYDRA. Everyone sat around the table and started eating.

               “This is absolutely amazing (Y/n).” The man with what looked like an arc reactor in his chest also known as Tony said and you couldn’t help but blush. You didn’t really get compliments on your cooking when you worked with Fury over the past couple years since being rescued from HYDRA.

               “Thank you Tony, I can’t wait to make dinner later.”

               “You don’t have to cook dinner tonight, we could always order in and have a movie night or something.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You thought to yourself ‘Did they do this often or every once in a while?’ “Besides, you’re knew here and you don’t need to feel like you have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

               “Again, thank you Tony but before coming here I would cook every night for the other agents that I worked with. From what I remember from my childhood was my momma saying nothings better than a home cooked meal after a long day. Plus I love to cook.” Clint got a big smile on his face as well as Nat. “Yes, Clint that means you get to have my half pound hamburgers that I know you love.” Nat giggled and you could tell that Steve was intrigued with the idea of a half-pound hamburger.

               “How do you know Clint, (Y/n)?” Sam sat next to Steve on his right.

               “Well, Clint and Natasha were sent on a mission to clear out a small HYDRA base in Greece that was a few hours north of Athens. I was in a cryo-chember waiting to be unfrozen for my next mission. Clint was the one who found me, he unfroze me and convinced Fury not to kill me. Ever since then he became an older brother to me and well Nat became like a sister to me once she warmed up to me. That all happened before the Battle of New York and Fury made me stay where I was since he knows how protective I am of these two.” You placed an arm around Clint and Nat’s neck. “I guess you can say it’s almost “animal instinct” to be protective.” You three were the only ones who laughed but you were the only ones who knew why.

               Bruce looked really confused along with everyone. “What are you three laughing about?”

               “Well you see, Bruce, you are not the only one who can change forms. I am what you would call a werecat. I can change into a leopard whenever and I don’t look like the normal leopard, my fur looks like pure gold and my eyes are the ones you see now.” Bruce couldn’t help but be intrigued with me and from the looks of it, he had other questions. “What other questions do you have Bruce, I know you have them. It’s all over your face.”

               “Were your eyes always silver or was that HYDRA’s doing?”

               “HYDRA. When I was kidnapped by them, my eyes were (y/e/c). They injected me with something that enhanced everything and changed my eye color to silver. So pretty much I can run faster than Steve on his best day and I can hear something fall from across the tower with all the doors closed and people walking around but that’s if I actually try to listen to something like that.” Everyone’s mouths hung open slightly. “If you want to look at my blood you most certainly can Bruce, I don’t mind. Just as long as you don’t let Tony get any ideas from what you find.” Tony gasped and feigned a hurt expression.

               “Damn, she hasn’t been here for less than a day and she already knows Tony.” Pietro commented before Tony could say anything.

               After everyone was done eating, you helped Clint clean off the table and do the dishes. Everyone seemed to warm up to you pretty easy but one. You dried off the dishes as Clint washed them, he could tell something was on your mind.

               “What’s wrong Moon? I can tell when something is bothering you.”

               “Tell me why you call me Moon again, I haven’t been called that since you guys joined here and that was what felt like years ago.”

               “You really don’t remember? One, your eyes are almost as bright as a full moon and two, you tend to stare at the moon whenever it’s full. Nat thought it was cute and it pretty much stuck.”

               “Of course Nat would think of something like that for me. I just hope that the others, mainly Tony, don’t start calling us Tom and Jerry if it’s just the two of us because if he does, he won’t like what I could do to his pretty shinny suits.” You start putting away most of the dishes that you were able to reach. “Fucking hell, why is everything so damn high up? Really, is like everything supposed to piss off the vertically challenged because it’s fucking working.”

               “Moon, calm down. Your spots are showing. We don’t need a leopard running around the tower scaring people half to death. Even though it would be funny but we don’t need Steve yelling at us.”

               “Fuck you Clint.” Before you can say anything else Steve walks into the kitchen. You turn to look at him but instead of saying something, you walk out of the kitchen before you changed into your leopard form. You were walking back towards the gym when Tony found you.

               “Your room is set up and ready for you, (Y/n). It’s up a couple floors and it will be the first door you come to once you get off the elevator.”

               “Thanks Tony. I’ll head up now.” You walked past him and you can feel him staring at you. You were a curvy woman and it wasn’t abnormal for men to stare at you. “Stop staring at my ass Tony.” You just kept walking without looking back.

               You made it to your room and you laid down on the bed. The bed was the softest thing you ever felt. You decided to strip down before getting to comfortable and shift into your leopard form. You curled up on the bed and passed out.

put on your armour, grab your best weapon, and ready up for the fight of your life. a selection of high-energy and unapologetically geeky songs to go fight boss battles to.

(“boss battle” requested by we-can-escape.)

i. system;start - area 11 // ii. pacific rim - ramin djawadi & tom morello // iii. holy bacon - sean & bobo & blackstripe // iv. positive vibes - nightkilla // v. alphamatic replacement - cyclicredundancy 251 // vi. guren no yumiya - linked horizon // vii. the phoenix (sped up) - fall out boy // viii. echo - gumi // ix. knightmare/frame - area 11

anonymous asked:

*Softly whispers into your ear as you sleep* You will draw Scott kissing Vincent...you will draw Scott kissing Vincent...You will draw-holy shite BACON!

*Spits water in your face* THIRSTY CHILD WAIT AND THE TIME WILL COME MAYBE I DUNNO I LIKE TEASING YOU PEOPLE LMAO