Navigating a solo adventure is a challenge because you own the role of both captain and co-pilot. I have to trust myself and my compass that West is West, but the truth is, I can’t read a map. I can’t even fold a map. And so, like every trip that involves the George Washington Parkway, I get lost. I take wrong turns and U-turns and sometimes I pull over and cry and it’s all part of the journey. I have to make room for it in my life, allow extra time for it in my commute. And the lesson for the week is that there is no glory or grandeur to be found in enduring the loneliness, no rewards for martyrdom. There is no shame in asking for help. In saying, I was wrong. In telling your friends, you’re happy they’re home. In telling your mother, you’re happy she called. In confessing that I need you.
Hollygonightly, I don’t quite remember how I discovered her blog, but I immediately fell in love with her writing. It is extremely comforting to read as we both strive and struggle to make new lives for ourselves in this “DC Metropolitan Area”. I, too, get lost on every driving adventure around here and 90% of the time end up crying about it.
Minneapolis has one of the biggest, gayest, Prides in the country. We’re expecting the upwards of 100,000 people this weekend. I tried to explain to Holly that it was basically like a college Homecoming Weekend on steroids and glitter. Everyone is happy, everyone is proud, everyone is love.
On Sunday I’ll be in the parade dancing on a float with my Jager Girls and Dudes. Come out to say hello. I’ll throw you some swag and do the robot.
In one hour, I am going to go to an appointed location near my home in Austin, per the instructions of one St. Holly – to be met by some kind of surprise that she’s arranged. The obvious question is: WHAT COULD SHE BE PLANNING?
I have to say that I am handling the uncertainty of all this with much aplomb. Just ask my husband about me and surprises. I don’t do them well. If I know a surprise is coming, I’ll pester and pester and ask and ask about all the particulars to get the secret out; and I don’t relent, usually. And sometimes I even correctly guess what the surprise is.
Will I be met by a clown for a singing telegram? A crate of monkeys to take home to the girls? Hot air balloon to take us all to Minnesota? I will update you here, I guarantee.
“I’m doing this thing where I order champagne all the time because … I can.” Holly explained as she expertly wrung the neck of a fresh bottle, stifling the cork with a kitchen towel.
I arrived at her new place with tiny beers and tiny cupcakes for our Tiny Party of Two. It’s beautiful and artsy and warm and lovely. It’s very much Holly. Earlier that day, I read the piece she wrote about interviewing, which was sort of synchronistic because I had my Aussie phone interview three days prior and wanted to chat with her about it.
“Holy shit, Bre! I’m glad I got champagne!” Holly fills my glass and smiles.
I had the same reaction as Erica to her Animals Dressed as Humans prints. Before I left, she gave me a Huge hug (Holly gives the best hugs - fierce and sincere - finsirce?), and handed me this dapper fellow.
“When you get the job and move to Sydney, I want you to frame this in your new place and send me a picture, okay?”
She didn’t say “if”, she didn’t waiver, it was as if she already knew.
I would like to learn, or remember, how to live. I come to Hollins Pond not so much to learn how to live as, frankly, to forget about it. That is, I don’t think I can learn from a wild animal how to live in particular…but I might learn something of mindlessness, something of the purity of living in the physical senses and the dignity of living without bias or motive. –Annie Dillard
Charles gets home from work and goes out with Liesl to look at the garden. A friend comes to visit to enjoy sunshine and for the few days she’s here the air is lighter. More troublesome things are forgotten.
A baby dove falls to the ground in the evening, and then wanders off nowhere to be seen when no one is looking. We keep pets inside in the hope that doing so will encourage its safety. Plants grow, the rains come just a little bit (and when they don’t we water in between). In Charles’s words, “It’s spring."
Learning the rules of the Mountain Fairy-Valley Fair game