holistic view

How To Stay Motivated Learning A Language

Motivation is an important element of the language learning process. In this busy world it’s hard to keep a consistent level of excitement in learning a new language. Certain parts of every language can be a stumbling block, If you feel like giving up, it doesn’t mean that it’s time to quit. It might just mean that it’s time to take a closer look at what motivates you.  
I will try and give you some tips on how to stay motivated when learning a foreign language. Hope you’ll find them useful!

  • Remember why you started.
    What made you start learning in the first place? Friendship? Love? Family? Self-improvement? Travel? Work? The reasons for learning a language are varied and often personal. Remember your reason. Use it to motivate you to keep going, keep learning and keep improving. 
  • Be clear about your goals.
    Defining your language learning goals is another important element of staying motivated and focused on whatever it is you’re trying to achieve. What does success look like for you? Try to visualize it. Write it down and come back to it regularly to keep the mental image of success fresh in your head. Every time your motivation decreases slightly, remind yourself of what achieving your goals looks and feels like. 
  • Don’t aim for mastery. 
    They say that the perfect is the enemy of the good. This is doubly true when it comes to language learning. The language learner who progresses the most is usually the one who takes the most risks, makes the most mistakes, fails the most often - but doesn’t give up. Communicating is messy, creative work, and you’ll hold yourself back if you strive for perfection. There’s no need to drill yourself until you’re exhausted. Do your best and move on. Give yourself permission to be “good enough”. 
  • Talk to people. 
    While it can be scary talking to people in a foreign language, it can also be exhilarating to put what you’ve learned into practice! Languages exist because humans are driven to communicate. What better way to apply what you’re learning than by talking to an actual human being? No matter your level, you’ll progress more quickly - and be more motivated to keep learning - if you find a patient conversation partner, either in person or online. You’ll find that most native speakers are thrilled to speak their language with you. 
  • Don’t compare yourself to other people.
    Instead of comparing yourself to other language learners, compare your current level to your level in the past, for example last month or last year. That way, you will be able to see the extent of progress you’ve made and boost your motivation. Always comparing yourself to other people can have the opposite effect.
  • Make language learning part of your routine.
    You don’t want learning a language to become a chore. There’s nothing less motivating than learning something just because you feel you have to. The key is to transform your thinking about learning so that you don’t see it as an addition to your day but as an intrinsic part of your day. There are various things that you can do to help make language learning part of your routine:
  1. Read for 20 minutes on the train/bus to school or work.
  2. Listen to a podcast or anything in your target language for 5-10 minutes you are walking.
  3. Work in your textbook when you find yourself free at random times of the day
  4. Write a page in you notebook just before going to bed.
  5. Chat with a family member or a friend (it better be a native speaker) in your target language whenever you get the chance to do so.
  • Don’t Give Up.
    There is a Japanese proverb which neatly reflects another major component of language-learning success “Fall down seven times, get up eight”.
    The proverb reminds us to have a holistic and realistic view of the learning process.
    see this Learning language and time management .

Always remember that without a real desire to learn, you’re going to be fighting an uphill battle. 

Lesson 14: Intro to Tarot

Teacher: Prism

Live class date and time: 1/27/2017 @ 5:00PM

What is Tarot?

As per google, “playing cards, traditionally a pack of 78 with five suits, used for fortune-telling and (especially in Europe) in certain games. The suits are typically swords, cups, coins (or pentacles), batons (or wands), and a permanent suit of trumps.”

It’s thought that Tarot originated after the year 1000, during a liminal period in theological history where religions were able to coexist alongside one another. Given that card games were outlawed in the abbeys of France in 1337 (YES I KNOW OK BUT IT’S TRUE) historians suspect their emergence to be within this period of 300 years or so. It was more than possible at this time to see churches, synagogues and mosques co-existing alongside one another.

It contains esoteric symbols from all three of the aforementioned religious practices; visual symbols that hearken to christianity can be seen in Arcana II, V, XI, XIII, XV and XX. The nameless arcana, now called Death, was originally pictured with the hebrew words “Yad-Hay-Vav-Ha” within its skeletal head. The ten sephirot was illustrated on the Hermit’s (IX) chest.

It is possible that sages from all of the aforementioned religions came together to create what is the foundation of the modern tarot, but whether or not this is the true is purely speculative.

What we do know is that in essence, the Tarot is not divination in the sense that it is able to reveal literal future. It is not predictive but psychoanalytical. All prospective futures that may be revealed within a reading are a projection of the subject given their state of mind, not accounting for the circumstances of their life nor the specifics, but dealing with them in the abstract, as they advance through the stages of their life.

Second, Tarot is often interpreted in the modern age in disparate parts. Symbolism and correspondences are attributed with no explanation and relationships between the cards are not elaborated on. But it is meant to be viewed holistically. In this instance, we will look at it within the context of the mandala, a device as Carl Jung would say, that is a representation of the psyche,  whose essence is essentially unknown. Thus through the tarot we reveal ourselves, the stages of our lives and the deep energies that govern all of us.

The Art of the Holistic Tarot


  • Definition: (in Jungian theory) a primitive mental image inherited from the earliest human ancestors, and supposed to be present in the collective unconscious.
  • Examples; 
      • The Emperor (V) as the key figure of rationalism. Material. Paternal. The Ruler archetype. The abrahamic god. The energy of the five as active but static in the material plane.
      • The Knight of Wands as the master of hidden passions. Sublimation of warlike qualities. Freedom from desire; transcendence. Between the numbers 8 and 9, between total perfection and the step forward into crisis. The Creator archetype. Salvador Dali. The God Amun.
      • The Lovers as the exchange of intimacy. Selfless giving. Companionship. Desire to shape the world in the image of unconditional love. The power of the 6; of beauty, as it mirrors itself. The archetype of the Caregiver. Aphrodite. Princess Diana.

Visual Symbolism

  • There are 22 major arcana and 56 minor arcana. They can be distinguished on the basis of their composition; in any given deck, the major arcana are usually presented with an individual image that is distinct from all the others and if not outright labeled, given the number of its respective arcana at the bottom or top. The minor arcana on the other hand, tend to feature repeating patterns and symbols within the purview of their respective suits, which may take many shapes and forms depending on the deck.
  • While I am loosely familiar with in-depth analyses of the classic Tarot of the Marseilles and Rider Waite decks, given the sheer volume and variety of the decks we all read with, I do not believe imparting the specifics would be useful here, save for providing example on how to potentially read different symbolism.
  • If you have a desire however to go to this level of depth with your deck, take time to reflect on the colors and composition of each card. Take each card of the major arcana and put it side by side in two rows, with the Fool and the World at either end. Look at how the cards align with one another. Is the High Priestess looking at the Empress, or looking away? What does the Hanged Man have behind their back? What colors do you see and do they run together? For simplicity’s sake, I’m going to leave it here, but I’m also going to include a brief table of color correspondences below. I’ll also note that these can be found exactly as I’m presenting them in Jorodowsky’s Way of the Tarot. As can most of the information that I’ll be teaching in this lesson, only in far greater detail.
  • Violet
    • + impersonal, wisdom
    • - sacrifice, death
  • White
    • + purity, ecstasy, immortality
    • - mortal chill, egoism
  • Light blue
    • + receptivity to celestial power
    • - dependence, immobility
  • Deep blue
    • + receptivity to earthly powers
    • - despotism, tyranny
  • Light yellow
    • + clairvoyance, active intelligence, awareness
    • - aridity, cruelty, dryness of mind
  • Deep yellow
    • + receptive intelligence
    • - madness, destruction
  • Flesh
    • + humanity, carnal pleasure
    • - materialism , repression
  • Red
    • + animal realm, activity
    • - criminal violence
  • Light green
    • + nature and the celestial
    • - dependence, envy
  • Deep green
    • + nature and the terrestrial
    • - engulfment, absorption
  • Black
    • + creative magma, shadow work
    • - chaos, repression, death impulse/fatalism


The Minor Arcana are typically divided into four suits, though the content of these suits may vary depending on the deck. For the purposes of this lesson, we will adhere to the basics; pentacles, cups, wands and swords.

There are many ways of dealing with these correspondences, but today we’ll break into down into two categories; correspondences by suit and correspondences by element/energy.

The elements as defined by alchemy are usually the way most define the properties of the four different suits. The results of my method will be similar, but with some nuance. These are intended to be more consistent with the arcana themselves, rather than derived arbitrarily from other, albeit related systems.

The sword is a rational symbol, forged and tempered with care and experience. Thus it harkens back to intelligence, the learning of language and transcendent thought. Swords have the power to test the mettle of a thing, much in the same way our rational intellect may scrutinize the integrity and consistency of an abstract ideal. The element of swords would be air, in this case.

The cup, similar to the christian symbol of a Grail, or the pagan symbol of a chalice, is a tool of receptivity and retention. In antiquity, cups have been used as a symbol for love. Cups represent emotional energy, in that the cup is deeply internalizing. What is poured into the cup may stay, adherent to the shape it’s given.  It is emotion used a divine messenger, in this sense, and its reference element would be water.

The wand is not artificially. It grows naturally in the wild, from crystal, gnarled bark or bone. But one can prune and polish it if they choose. Thus it represents growth of sexual or creative power as it occurs naturally in the human being. Sexual magnetism is an independent process, but what we choose to do with this natural state of mind is up to us; do we channel or sublimate it? Or perhaps, we allow it to take the lead. Much in the same way is the element of fire. It occurs as a force its own, but we choose how it is utilized and where it will burn.

The pentacle is solid, material, substantial. Usually represented by a coin, currency or artifact of significant cultural value, it is forged into what it is by human hands. It begins as raw material and is given identity by the choices. Aren’t our human bodies much the same? We are given our base material through biology, but what we do with it is up to us. Thus the pentacles are very much governed by earth energy, physical energy and they often represent the material plane that we inhabit as human beings.

The Diagram of Numerology

Still here with me? Good!

So, we’re about to get started with the numerological aspects of how to read and in particular, decimal numerology.

Why you may ask? Or maybe you didn’t ask. I plan to answer anyway, to further the plot.

Well, from a historical point of view among the most original decks known by man is the Tarot of Marseilles. There is some evidence to suggest that Tarot itself originated in France, though the truth will remain unknown. Regardless, French society itself has a tendency numbers in terms of degrees, particularly the number ten. The major arcana runs in two groupings of ten, excluding the beginnings and endings of the cycles, E.G. arcana zero and arcana twenty one. The number ten is viewed as a number of totality, divided into into ten separate degrees that evolve from one to the next. This creates the basis for relationships that otherwise, the tarot doesn’t have.

So hang on to your hats ladies, gentlemen and non-binary individuals. Now it’s time to pull out a piece of paper.

We’re going to break this down with a diagram. You’ll want the orientation of the paper to be in portrait rather than landscape. Now fold it in half, so that it is split vertically, not horizontally.

You’ve got two halves right? The left side is going to be our receptive side and the right side, our active side. You can label that if you wish, but you don’t have to.

Now fold it again along the horizontal axis. That way it is split into a cross, with four boxes. The top represents heaven (spiritual) and the bottom, earth (material).

Bam. Easy, right?

So we’re about to fold this sucker again. Configure it back into the long rectangle, where it is both horizontally and vertically folded. Now, fold it again, horizontally.

Tadah! If you have four equivalent rectangles on either side of the paper, congratulations. You are an origami champion.

Anyway, now imagine that numbers one and ten are below and above the paper respectively, but not necessarily present. After all, we only have eight squares right? These eight squares are going to represent the eight degrees on our journey through life. All ten degrees will be applicable to the reading of both the major and minor arcana as well as the significance of the hidden degrees, E.G. the energies of the Fool and the World (0 and 21.)

If you have something to write with, go ahead and label the boxes in ascending order from top to bottom, starting on the left side. So it’d be bottom left 2, bottom right 3, then just above 2 goes 4 and ect. You’ll note that all even numbers are on the left and all odd numbers are on the right. Coincidence? I think not!

This represents the organic growth as we grow upwards in the vertical dimension. Humans and plants grow up toward the sky, much in the same way.

The Degrees and their Meaning

If you’re still with me, then good. The mind control ought to be working by now.

Now let’s break down the different degrees and their meaning.

  1. Degree one is represented in the first decimal series by the Magician. A beginner, full of potential. Between choices. Uncertainty. Needing to take the first step into reality. Move to square 2! A newborn child, brought into the world.
  2. The High Priestess. Receptive energy, childhood development. Accumulating knowledge & experience. Gestation. Matter is inert, still growing and changing. Moving toward the realization of identity.
  3. The Empress. Explosive adolescent action. First love, first fight, first real passion. Action with little purpose or direction. Adolescent rebellion. A need to move toward the four, toward adulthood and stability.
  4. The establishment of real material stability. The Emperor. Mastering the material plane. Buying the house, getting the car, establishing a career, a family, a home or the achievement of a material goal. Motionless and capable of great stagnation unless progress is made to the five.
  5. The Pope or the Hierophant. Moving toward the threshold of the heaven square. A passage or a transition into the spiritual or transcendent plane through the temptation of an ideal. A new point of view is achieved. Concern for the Other starts to manifest.
  6. Pleasure, beauty, receptive but transcendent of material considerations. The ultimate artistic positioning in life. Receptive with the danger of becoming narcissistic and self indulgent. In order to continue on, one must move to the action of the seven, rather than hoard the delights of the six. The Lovers.
  7. All forms of global action are engendered here by the Chariot. Humanitarian, artistic or imperial. It can lead to mindless violence, corruption by a static value system and have disastrous consequences. In order for the hero to avoid living long enough to become the villain, they must move to the eight.
  8. Total spiritual and material perfection. Judgement. Perfection in the heaven square. The eighth month of gestation. The judge who is both exacting and wise. There is nothing to be taken away, nothing to be added. But still, the individual must move to the nine in order to complete the cycle, into crisis.
  9. The step off the in this case, literal page. There are no more squares to be had. This is the position of the Hermit. The blind leap of faith. Like a mandala drawn in the sand, the individual must move beyond the perfect balance achieved by the eight into the nine, leaving the sum of all their achievements behind them and prepare for transcendence. To fall back to the eight in this position signifies a fear of death, which has the power to consume them.
  10. The Wheel of Fortune. It is the liminal space between cycles. It is renewal, eternal change, as the wheel continues to turn. The literal card of rebirth. Beginning and end. It is pure karmic energy, the womb from whence we came and where we all inevitably will return. Well…. Figuratively speaking, anyway.

Where do the court cards fit? A question for another day perhaps, but briefly, they are the literal decimals or half steps between the ten degrees. The Page is between two and three, the Queen between four and five, the King between six and seven and the Knight between nine and ten.

These values apply across the board, not just dogmatically to the major arcana. If the six found in the Lovers dictates beauty than this also applies to the six of pentacles, of wands, of swords and of cups. It also applies to the cards in the second decimal series, which carries on into another cycle, the cycle of the old soul, culminating in the card which embodies each phase of evolution; the World.

It begins to give the reader a basis with which to think of the cards beyond arbitrary memorization. For example if in a reading I have a card whose challenged by another card of a lower numeric value, I can safely assume their being held back by energies which are at a lower state of development. However those energies manifest depend on the individual and the context of the reading. As you can see, it begins to build upon relationships within the cards themselves. How would a pentacle feel to be held back the energy of an undeveloped wand? What could it mean to have two cards of different suits of the name numerology at odds with one another? These are the sort of considerations to make during each reading.

In summation to this introduction, which has been a lot of theory I know, one can have a basis from which to start truly deciphering their relationship to the major and minor arcana. Next lesson we’ll be going in depth with the first and second series of the major arcana. I hope to see you all there!


Caleb and Adam go to a party. It’s a nice party. The food is good. The people are chill. Then Caleb eats like three fucking pot brownies by accident. Getting snacks for your giant, high, empathic boyfriend is not the worst way to spend a night. (ao3)

Keep reading

Neptune in the third house - Ocean Minded

Closed in a room, my imagination becomes the universe, and the rest of the world is missing out. - Criss Jami

The mind is like watercolour artwork with Neptune in the third house. Thoughts turn to liquid and infuse into one another, and cross the boundaries between many worlds. The imagination is spectacular, and the dreaming so entrancing that he may live his life through an envisioned fantasy world. Neptune promises salvation. But she can be kind of mysterious, and shadowy too. Maybe the individual is so lost in creative reverie that he neglects everyday tasks and withdraws. Or he struggles to feel content in reality because within he perceives a world too magnificent for words. He can seem a million miles away, lost in cloud of daze and thought. The individual may be very receptive to unspoken thoughts and speak with a cryptic and colourful tone. Flashes of insight may also be somewhat prophetic.

Through the spellbinding Neptune imagination, the individual can express his knowledge like poetry. He also tends to be a great story teller, and remember even seemingly mundane events. It’s like they blow a Neptune bubble that pops every time they speak to hypnotise and beguile. But this bubble can also be obscure, and cloud his communication. He can feel disconnected from people because maybe he can’t truly share with the world what he finds meaningful. It can be hard for him to form words from thoughts, and thoughts can vanish, run into one another, and play out imaginary events in vivid detail. Neptune’s trickery may cause events to be remembered obscurely and tales can be embellished. The third house is our perception of the world. And everything is not what it seems here. To experience in the mind may seem like the real physical encounter. Everything can become too confusing. Dreams can become mistaken for reality. The imagination can be so vivid that the individual can ‘see’ things that others can’t.

The individual with Neptune in the third house can have lapses in concentration and struggle with more calculative topics. The third house is the education home. Maybe the individual had trouble with schooling because his mind drifted off into reverie. Although it could be likely that when pressed he offered an alternative and holistic point of view, one that was unique and wise. In this way he can be an asset in the classroom, one that the curriculum does not recognise but teachers see a brilliant light in. He may find inspiration writing near the ocean. The individual may also feel somewhat mentally lethargic, as if he is always tired, or always unready to learn or write. Maybe he is intellectually lazy at times. He may wait for the spark of inspiration and let the lure of procrastination win. When he can direct Neptune through his panflute, he can translate striking imaginative ideals into words and prose. He can share a world of treasure to marvel. He can make people feel like they are in Disneyland.


anonymous asked:

As another anon said, Emori does a great job pointing out Clarke's privilege, which even C seems to acknowledge. & it's making her think her difficulties may not have been as extreme (though traumatic; I'm not discounting her suffering) as some of the other characters' sufferings. Anyway, I like that the cast is pointing out to C her white savior ways aren't quite justified and that she has been well-loved. Do you think there's any chance they'll get real with a holistic view of L's behaviors?

I agree and that’s a good question.

I don’t know if we’re going to get a reckoning for L, if that was every going to happen or if they pulled back for politics. 

That Emori scene was so good and gives me a little bit of faith that maybe we’ll get SOMETHING about that white savior princess in the tower thing. Along with Monty and Jasper calling her on it. It’s good. Let’s hope. Luna never mentioned that chip in the head thing. Maybe she’ll bring it up next week.

“First Meetings” Series: Kim Namjoon

Endless possibilities open up when you first meet somebody. Will they be a fleeting acquaintance, a cherished friend, a lover, someone who’s going to change your life? Regardless, they all begin with that first fateful meeting.

Author’s Note: First up is Leader-nim! As I said in my previous post, I’m posting this one first and I’ll update a few more members’ stories tomorrow ~ Enjoy the Nams!!

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

          Namjoon once again ripped out a piece of paper from his spiral notebook frustrated, and once again, he didn’t rip the paper out completely which deepened his annoyance. He had spent so many late nights trying to come up with an idea for his philosophy paper, but nothing seemed to flow or fit. Nothing spoke to him. He didn’t know what to write about and the deadline was tomorrow. Running a hand through his hair, he exhaled. Philosophy was his favorite subject, which was probably why he was pressuring himself to write something that could be considered a masterpiece.

           He was a naturally deep person, much attuned to long-winded sharing of opinions on an unanswered topic rather than small talk and pleasantries. Countless nights he slaved away at this coffee shop, which was conveniently in the center of their University library. He had wanted to start this paper early, but his mind betrayed his eagerness despite being in an academically conducive environment. Now here he was, like many of his peers, trying to type it out last minute. Except for the fact that he was staring at a blank document in front of him with no words or ideas flittering through his head to inspire him.

           You walked into the coffee shop happily, waving to your co-worker, who was relieved that she would finally get to go home. Glancing over at the people who occupied the tables curiously, your eyes fell on him: the tall male student that came to the coffee shop and the library frequently. You would always found him with his nose in a thick book or typing away hurriedly into his computer. By that time, you knew his regular order so he didn’t even need to look up to converse with you; all you had to ask was “Having the usual?” to which he would nod nonchalantly.

           You enjoyed watching him from afar. Your shift wasn’t particularly busy or exciting, considering you always picked up the late night to early morning shifts because you had chosen afternoon classes to sleep in more. But it made going to work more exciting when you wondered what new outfit he was going to put together and during work, you looked forward to getting a glimpse of his deep dimples whenever a part in a book made him chuckle or whenever he seemed proud of what he had typed.

           Tonight, however, you were surprised to find him with his head on the table, notebook on his lap, and arms dangling down to his toes lifelessly. There were balls of crumpled paper littering the table and his coffee had long since been pushed to the edge, signaling that he had finished it. You had never quite seen this boy like this. You had pegged him for the hard-working straight-A bookworm, perfect all-around type of student. But you guessed that even perfect students had moments of frustration. Biting your lip, you crept over to see if you could get him another cup of warm coffee.

           "Having the usual?“ You asked your normal question, but soon, you felt yourself flinch when his head shot up, looking at you closely for the first time.

           Namjoon always tried to catch you on your shifts because you didn’t try to converse with him like the other servers. He found you intelligent and sensible for taking note that he was busy or preoccupied and to not engage in any unnecessary conversation. Gratefully as well, he noted that you were perceptive and detailed enough to know when he had finished his coffee every single time. He respected your work ethic and what that said about your personality.

           Today, with all of the questions he was rummaging through in his mind, hearing your voice made him wonder what you looked like up close. He was even more curious as to why you never followed protocol and built rapport with your customers like the others. Had you realized the unspoken routine he depended on you for? Your stunned expression confirmed that you were aware of the almost silent communication between you two. He smiled warmly, feeling sorry that he had startled you and broke the routine. For some reason, he felt that switching up his "regular” would give him a fresh start, so he shook his head.

           "Maybe I’ll try that hot chocolate I’ve been eye-ing.“

           You chuckled and nodded, cleaning up his table carefully. His hand grabbed your wrist when you were about to grab the discard notebook pages.

           "I might need those still…” he mumbled and you stepped back obediently without a word, your cheeks burning from the simple touch.

           "I’ll be back with your hot chocolate.“

           He nodded then went back to stare at the white screen teasing him with its emptiness. Glancing around, he saw huddles of hoodies and laptops scattered throughout the shop and the library, the desire for rest evident in their eyes. He pressed his hands on his face in exasperation. Time was ticking and he was not any closer to being struck by an inspiring idea that could be related to philosophy, which he found ridiculous because everything revolved around a philosophy.

           You frowned as you watched him anxiously bouncing his leg and shifting in his seat. You knew he was in some serious trouble if he was breaking his long time routine. Seeing as you had no customers to attend to, you decided to also break your habit and talk to him.

           "Paper?” You questioned while you placed the hot chocolate on his table.

           "Yeah…“ he groaned.

           "Due tomorrow I’m guessing?”


           You pursed your lips, wondering if you were going to overstep your boundaries, but you pushed yourself to ask. "Is there anything I can do to help?”

           Namjoon slowly lifted his face up to stare at you once again, a little taken aback by your concern. “Can I ask you a question?”

           "Um sure…“ You shifted uncomfortably.

           "How do you always know when I finish my coffee?”

           You blinked. You weren’t expecting a trivial question like that. “Umm well you put it down and push it closer to the edge when you’re done with it. Normally when you drink, you sip it often then place it down within an easy reach.”

           Then your brain registered your explanation. “I hope that’s not creepy or anything! A lot of people do it and I got kind of good at observing little habits like that….”

           Namjoon chuckled. “I didn’t even know I did that. How interesting.”

           "I think it’s hard to fully learn about yourself just from yourself.“ You blurted out then blushed at your serious tone. "If that makes sense.”

           He raised an eyebrow intrigued and tilted his head. “Oh? That’s an interesting thought. You don’t think you can learn about yourself completely just from introspection and careful observation of your own actions and thought processes?”

           You laughed, “No, not at all. While I think you can always learn a great deal through self-reflection, I do think interacting with other people and hearing their perspectives of you and your behaviors will really give you a holistic view about your entire self.”

           "But what encompasses this ‘self’ then?“ he retorted then his grin widened excitedly, exposing those adorable dimples openly. "Oh my goodness! I love you!”

           Your eyes widened in shock, flabbergasted at the sudden confession. Your heart fluttered despite knowing that it was merely said out of relief and enthusiasm. He stood up excitedly to hug you out of gratitude but in his haste, he knocked over the table. Both of you gasped. Hurriedly, you grabbed the scalding hot chocolate cup to prevent his papers and computer from damage while he fumbled to grasp hold of his computer. He hugged his computer tightly to his chest, his heart racing and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Your eyes met as you let the echo of the accident dissipate and the attention you had rendered, die down. Then you both bubbled with laughter at your frozen postures and your quick reactions.

           "Why didn’t you grab the table silly?“ You giggled.

           "Yeah, I wasn’t thinking straight.” he scratched the back of his head guiltily as he straightened up the table. “I got too excited. You gave me a great idea for my paper.”

           You grinned as you placed the hot chocolate back on the table, happy to have helped him out. “Well, I’m glad we have an idea and no casualties.”

           He laughed, “I’m a bit clumsy so I’ve been glad you don’t make me get up to re-order, who knows how many tables I could knock down on my way there?”

           You chuckled, “Well then I’m glad to know that I had been saving the library from chaos and destruction this entire time. Please remain in your seat in the future.”

           You both smiled at each other, refreshed from the meaningful yet simple conversation. There was just an air of comfort between you two and the banter seemed to flow as if you had been friends forever. Namjoon was even more intrigued by you now.  

           "I’m Namjoon by the way.“ he outstretched his hand.

           ”________“ You shook his hand lightly.

           His hands were softer than you had imagined or was it because you had slightly burned your hand on the drink and it was a bit sensitive to touch? But your thoughts froze and you felt your heart race as you heard the next statement come out from Namjoon’s mouth.

           "Can I continue to ask you more questions in the future?”

           "I guess I’ll have to answer them if you ask.“ You grinned cheekily, trying to hide the growing blush on your cheeks.

           "Over coffee then.” he raised his cup, grinning suavely.

           "Well I’ll be here all night.“ You smirked, trying to leave on a mysterious yet playful note. "And the next night…and the next.”

           "Guess I can’t stay away from the library then.“ He mumbled to himself as he watched you walk back to the counter happily.

Links to other members: Jin | Taehyung | J-Hope | Jungkook | Yoongi/Suga | Jimin

Evanescence Epilogue

Request: Would you consider writing an au epilogue to Evanescence where she goes back to Derek?

Tags: @okidokibucky​, @megant22​, @sexywolfsfordays, @houseofrahl​, @sterek-basically​, @kittycatgirlmaddie​, @misshinehou

Word count: 3018

Author’s note: I am so excited to hear your opinions on it!! I wrote the reader and Derek’s history, so now you all are going to get a holistic view on the story! I hope I managed to make the feels perfect and sharply on point, and to write it the way you wanted, you beautiful Anon, who sent in the request to me to come up with an alternate ending to Evanescence. Also, along with angst, I sneaked in some fluff and cheesy lines, too! Seriously, this is a mixture of the three, with some feels added to it, no more than that.

Warnings: feels, angst, cheesiness (I guess I’d better warn you about them)

Your name: submit What is this?

Two weeks.

That is how long I can endure before the wall of my will crumbles and eventually evaporates into thin air. I knew this was going to happen if I get to know the truth and it turns out that Diana is Derek’s child. I knew it. Jordan took Diana to a walk to tire her out a tad, otherwise she wouldn’t stop asking for Derek every single day.

It’s breaking my heart to see how my daughter turns more and more desperate to see her biological father, albeit she doesn’t know she’s his kin. And who am I to deny that from her? Who am I to stand in between them? Derek has a right to be with his kid, even if he deliberately chose to leave her with Jordan and me. I just… can’t let him be the martyr again, be the one who loses everything and ends up being solitary.

When we started dating, his pack left him, and he had no one to confide in. He wanted to dismiss me, send me away from his newly bought loft, but I wouldn’t listen to him and stubbornly stayed where I was. He tried to scare me away, frighten me by flashing his eyes and fangs at me, but other than a shiver, it had no effect on me. I had a gut feeling that I have to protect this man, I knew he deserved it, I knew he deserved to finally be truly loved by somebody, who won’t leave him for petty reasons.

Then he just stood before me, chest heaving with fury, eyes still glowing sinister red, and that was when the ice finally broke – I stepped directly in front of him, so close that I felt the heat of his body, closer than I had ever been to him, and reached out to wrap my arms around his neck. At first, his body was frozen in shock, but I could pinpoint the exact moment his irises seeped back into their human colour. I whispered to him, “It’s okay. I’m here,” and then he hugged me to himself, huffing heavy puffs of air into my neck and hair. He smoothed his palms over my back and strands, with me rubbing his nape and shoulder to help him settle.

I knew he was a lost little puppy who desperately needed affection, and his tough exterior was just an act to protect himself, but beyond his attempts to scare me away, he had nothing against me.

He whispered my name weakly and his fingers flexed around my shirt tightly, pulling at the material as though he were in physical pain. “Shh,” I said to him, repeating, “I’m here.” His forearm curled around the middle of my back just so, and he pulled me even closer, albeit I thought that was not possible at that point. I told him, “It’s not your fault,” making Derek bury his face into the crook of my neck. I could hear and feel on my skin as he took a deep inhale of my scent.

Derek didn’t say anything, just held me, as close and as tight as possible, strong arms not letting me go and keeping me there in his embrace like vises.

I still have no idea how long we stood there, just hugging, before he pulled back from me by a few inches to trade a deep look with me. For the first time in a long while, I caught something else in his gaze besides sadness and grief, something that lit up his features just a tad, soft and velvety smooth, warm like the beams of the Sun. It made my heart flutter.

It also made me blush. I averted my eyes to the ground, suddenly shy, hands sliding to rest over his chest and squirming in his embrace, trying to take a step back and get away, but he wouldn’t let me. I quietly called his name, half question, half declaration, before I noticed that at some point he had tilted his head to the side lightly, and he’d started to lean down towards my face. I was sure he could hear the way my heart was beating crazily in my ribcage, but he didn’t seem to mind it at all. The next thing I knew was that I was entranced by the two mesmerising miracles that his eyes are, and unconsciously I cocked my head as well, to fit his.

It was pure golden Heaven when his plush pink lips first grazed along mine. It couldn’t even be called a kiss, Derek’s touch was so tender and feather-like. It was more of an experiment, testing waters, wanting to see how I’d react. Then I made a quiet noise at the back of my throat and he opened his mouth up against mine a little, giving me the coyest kiss possible. I followed suit, arms snaking around his neck once more, fingers entangling with his dark spikes at his scalp and his Henley over his back.

That was also the first night we spent together, and we hadn’t even declared officially being a couple. In the morning, I wanted to sneak away, thinking he slept with me because he was in the blue and depressed, and I wanted to spare him the awkward after-talk, but while I was in the middle of picking my garments up from the floor in nothing more than just my lingerie and camisole, he asked me, voice still riddled with sleep, rubbing his eyes as he propped himself on an elbow, “Where are you going?”

I explained it to him, reassuring him that I understand, but then he asked me, “It was your first time, wasn’t it?” I didn’t even have to give him a verbal response – the acceleration in my heartbeat was more than enough answer to him. He then stood and strode over to me, only to hold me again and whisper tenderly to me, “It’s okay. I figured because you seemed like you had no idea what to do most of the time.” I was proceeding to protest, or at least tell him this isn’t fair to tell me how much I sucked in bed, but then he went on, “I loved every second of it. And there’s nothing more in this world that I want more than to spend more time with you, if you’re willing to be with me.”

Derek made sure I understood he hadn’t merely used me to temporarily forget about his life, but because he wanted to feel alive again. He admitted to having loved me for a long time, but he had been afraid of hurting me and getting me in danger by hauling me into his miserable life, however, that night, he just couldn’t resist any more, not when I had been so insistent to stay, when I was so gentle, loving and affectionate toward him.

My hands tremble as I reach for my cell phone on my nightstand, sitting on the edge of the bed cross-legged, chewing on my lower lip. I have to know if it will be worth it before I start the avalanche, and I’m not throwing Jordan away from me for nothing.

With my thumb shaking, I scroll down to the contact that reads, ‘Puppy’, and call it, internally praying Derek hasn’t changed his number. The line is alive, so I consider that a half-victory. On the ninth ring, he finally picks up, yet there is silence. Neither of us speaks.

That is, until I get myself together and whisper his name, “Derek?”

He nearly chokes on air as he inhales sharply. I can see in front of my mind’s eye as his nostrils flare and his lips purse into a tight, thin line. I have to swallow back my tears, but my voice is wavering the next time I speak. “Are you still in town?”

It takes him an awfully long time to reply, “I’m leaving tomorrow.” My heart clenches painfully when he adds, “Don’t worry.”

“Baby?” I ask weakly, droplets sliding down my cheeks now. I grip my shin to ground myself somehow, to help me endure this conversation, however it may end. There’s a loud knock coming from the other end of the line, followed by rustling not soon after. Did Derek just drop his phone?

He doesn’t say anything for what feels like infinity. Then he breaths out one word, and it’s enough to finally make me break down crying, loudly.


It’s as good as a question, many words pushed into one to ask me everything he wants. I’m weeping so hard I have to force myself to drink lungfuls of air not to drown on my tears. Although I’m constantly wiping them away, there’s no use, because they keep coming faster than my hand can move. I faintly catch as Derek is meekly cooing to me from the other end of the line, trying to help me calm down.

Eventually, I squeeze out, “Always.”

That was what we used to tell each other to prove our love isn’t temporary, that it’s lasting and time cannot tear us apart. Our relationship was special, and we wanted to be with each other forever, wanted to be married and have a family – that’s what we’ve been dreaming about. Not just then, but now as well.

Derek’s breathing turns laboured and loud, but I couldn’t tell for sure if he’s crying or just heaving. And I’m not asking, knowing that he’s never been comfortable with sharing his emotions.

I go to the bathroom. Albeit none of us speaks, neither of us ends the call. I put my phone on speaker as I open the tap and wash my face with cold water. I close my eyes for a couple seconds before taking the device in my hand and raising it back to my ear.

“Jordan?” Derek asks quietly. Instead of telling him that at the moment he’s out with Diana, his and my daughter, I opt to let him know something else.

“I’m breaking up the engagement with him.”

“That’s…” he starts, only to stop to contemplate the rest of his sentence. “I’d lie if I said I was sorry,” he ends up saying, and despite my situation, I huff out a brief laugh at that.

“I appreciate your honesty,” I reply, making him chuckle darkly. “Will you stay? Wait for us?” I ask, sucking my lower lip into my mouth, chewing on it anxiously.

“(Y/N),” Derek says, tone serious and stern. “I would wait for you forever. For as long as I have to if that means we will be together at some point in the future.”

I don’t know why that forces a harsh crying session out of me again, ripping my voice out of my throat bordering on painful. “It’s okay. I’m here,” he murmurs into the mic, the same four little words I told him when he confided in me for the first time.

We talk until Jordan arrives with Diana. For the time being, Derek tells me that Cora was abducted by hunters after she asked for his help. He didn’t call because he knows what the hunters are capable of, and they wouldn’t have refrained from kidnapping me too, just to coax Derek into a trap as well and disable him from saving his sister. He didn’t leave a message because he left in a hurry, and he didn’t want me to look for him later – I had known Cora was in South Africa somewhere, for him having shared it with me a couple weeks into our relationship.

I’ve gotten rid of all signs of my previous weeping to be able to face Jordan as an equal.

I take Diana to bed before approaching Jordan in the living-room, plopping down next to him on the couch. He doesn’t move to wrap his arm around me, apparently sensing my uneasy atmosphere, and just eyes me as though mutely requesting to start talking.

I run my tongue over my lip thoughtfully before beginning to speak, “I need you to know something.”

Jordan nods, “I figured out as much.” I realise that my whole body is tense, muscles straining under my skin, anxiety taking over. “It’s about Derek, isn’t it?” My face is the only answer he needs as a reassurance to that question. His mouth curls into a bittersweet half-smile. “I was expecting this talk lately,” he admits, throwing me for a loop. “I knew you’d come up to me sometime to tell me you choose him over me, I just didn’t know when.”

I notice with a start that he’s no longer wearing his engagement ring. Hence, I decide to take off mine, too. I hand it over to him, however, I can’t help myself before I whisper, “I loved you. I want you to know that.”

“I know,” he assures gently, meekly squeezing my hand.

“I’m grateful for everything that you’ve done for me,” I continue, to which Jordan nods.

“I know,” he repeats, voice ever so tender. His thumb starts massaging tiny circles into the back of my hand. The hardest part is still ahead of us, and I’m the only one who knows that. But Jordan has the right to know that Diana is not his daughter. I wish I knew whether that knowledge will make it easier for him or not. As though he could read my mind, he asks, “What about Diana?”

“She…” I bite my lip. “She will be happy. She’s…”

“Not mine, is she?” Jordan asks. My eyes widen as I look at him with a startled expression.

“You knew it?”

He shrugs as he says, thumb still rubbing my skin, “Not until now. You’ve just reassured me of my theory. But when you two came home two weeks ago, and Diana greeted Derek first, I got the message loud and clear. I guess no one can lie to a child now, can we? They are so pure they are able to sense who they have an undeniable connection with.”


“It’s okay,” he interrupts, even managing a smile at me. “I’ll be fine. Honestly. Derek needs you two more than I do. And no matter what I did, he still has the right to be with his family. He has that privilege, not me.”

Jordan raises my hand to his lips to plant a polite kiss on it by way of saying farewell. Tears well up in my eyes again, and he snickers when he notices them, wiping them away with his fingertips. I croak out, “You are too nice to me.”

He doesn’t say anything, just leans in to kiss away my tears, and after a brief consideration, I come to the conclusion that he deserves to be given one last kiss before I go. We cup the other’s cheeks in both hands, eyes shut tightly, moving our lips with fervour. We loved each other, too – just not as much as Derek and I do.

I spend the night with packing my stuff. Jordan helps me along the way, and I promise him to make sure he will be able to see Diana from time to time. In the morning, when she wakes up, we break the news to her together, and I think my heart breaks just a little when she’s overly giddy to hear that she is to live with Derek from now on. I hug Jordan for good measure, offering him comfort as the child runs upstairs to collect her belongings.

We don’t pack everything. We are going to have to take more turns to take everything with us, but that’s fine – there’s going to be a lot that has to be done with the house, too.

I exchange one more peck on the lips with Jordan before sliding my hand out of his hold excruciatingly, agonisingly slowly. It hurts to leave him alone. But then again, abandoning Derek for good would hurt even more, I can see that now. And if I were to have a child with Jordan, yet choose to be with Derek, I would probably be torn apart between the two. My eyes are on Jordan’s figure in the rearview mirror until I have to take a turn and he disappears from my sight.

During the drive, I tell Diana that she is allowed to address Derek by the name ‘daddy’, which she is more than happy to do, if her bouncing excitedly on the seat is anything to go by.

I text Derek quickly to wait for us, and as it is to be expected, he’s right there, leaning against the door frame at the entrance of the block of flats where his loft is. Neither of us care about the bags that we have to carry up, the only thing that matters is that we are together again. I can’t help my wide grin that stretches to my face the moment he starts approaching the car, but before he could come all the way, I scramble out clumsily, only to make a mad dash for him, crying for God knows how many times in just twenty-four hours.

Derek grabs my waist and lifts me up, spinning us around a couple times, and I feel like we’re in a scene from a romantic film where the soldier comes home from the war and his wife welcomes him back happily – except for the fact that in our case, it’s the other way around. He kisses me giddily, putting all of his pent up passion, pain and longing into it, making my stomach and heart flutter with it.

Diana surprises both of us when, out of the blue, she’s there with us, calling Derek ‘daddy’ for the first time, and that is the moment Derek lets go of me to lift her up, sitting her on his forearm, while with the other, he pulls me close to him. I wrap my arms around the two of them, content that I’m finally with those who I love the most in the world.

I’m home.

Tony, The Swordsman:

World’s weight on my shoulder, I seen Atlas laugh
and I’m just trying to bask in the fulfillment of my task
But when my conviction other’s ask, they oddball me and laugh
as if my light is impossible to flash
To shut them up I want it to happen fast
Making me uncomfortable like walking with a crack rash
When they encourage that ball player, but a mic slayer isn’t in their favor
I see nothing but obstacles, seeing overcoming illogical
When Homies say probable, could have me bust my skull
But maintain honorable stronghold never unfold
Yet all these cold water and scold, while i’m bothered with naysayers
talking to God with these prayers, sooth pain
and withstand blows creating craters
few agree and believe at times not even myself
when those who train less get accolades and wealth
In order to sharpen talent and remain valiant
Escapism is practised to review the catalyst and break the callus…

To find relief just to get up and leave
feel the breeze by the field, mountains and leaves
Find ease as I go where I please
Let my homework pile, as I look up at the sky under the trees
All so my trinity of self can find peace
loose track of man made time
Thinking of more rhymes, no leash
brush off fleas loose myself
Escapism I can breath.


I can finally breathe again!
Been a while since the weights been lifted.
Sifting, through the grey material looking for a mission.
Sleeping ‘til the mask peels off.
Mountain climbing with Martians playing golf.

Working on escapism,
trying to find myself by meditation.
Mind’s racing,
gotta slow down the pacing, of the heartbeat.
Ocean floor darkness where the sharks meet,
to work out the mind stuck inside a car seat.

Distract and reflect,
Trying to find a balance between
time for myself and the path to success.

Adjust and adapt,
Find a way to release abstract, thoughts.
Take a step back, and it might just be the spark,
you’re looking for.

It’s the perfect way to relax,
The stress fades away with the stroke of the pen.
Many men and women overlook themselves,
I know myself, and I won’t settle for the bottom shelf.

I say aye, gotta connect with the third eye.
Material matters meet the metaphysical nature.
I’m finding solace in the unexplored craters.
A holistic view will ultimately be your savior. (x2)

Made with SoundCloud
Picking a Safety School: Three Key Criteria

As you formulate and finalize your final college list, you might be putting the most thought into picking your reach and match schools. Your college list might consist of 4 schools, it might consist of 12 schools. The schools could be spread out across the country, or they could be all within one state. They could be big, they could be small. But at least one of them had better be a safety.

When choosing a true safety school (or two or three), you need to have these things in mind:

You need to be almost guaranteed to be accepted

One way of ensuring this is to check the range of accepted students’ test scores and GPAs. Generally, if you are above the 75th percentile, you have a good shot at getting in. HOWEVER, this is absolutely positively NOT the case when it comes to any school with a low acceptance rate or almost any school that views applications holistically. In both of these cases, admission is a crapshoot. When viewing applications holistically, colleges will look beyond your numerical values to see who you are as a person, and who you are as a person may not match up to your test scores. And when acceptance rates are low (i.e. below 30%), then it doesn’t really matter that your scores are within or above range, because SO MANY applicants will have great scores and they still won’t accept them all. And don’t even get me started on people who consider schools with <20% acceptance safeties. Oh, your parents went there? Oh, you’re like, super smart? Cool. Now put those schools back in the reach category where they belong. 

You need to be able to afford it

This is very important and often overlooked by applicants. Every school should let you run a net price calculator to find out just how much your family will be expected to pay. If the result is higher than you can afford, it’s up to you and your parents whether you still want to apply at all, but it is NO LONGER A SAFETY. Schools that estimate your family contribution to be higher than your family can afford to pay become financial reaches. This means that even if you are guaranteed acceptance, it isn’t a safety because there is still a high chance you may not be able to attend. The financial aid package becomes sort of a second admissions decision. For a safety to be a true safety, you need to be sure you can afford it.

You need to love it

This is definitely the most overlooked point of all. Most applicants associate a negative stigma with safety schools. They think of a safety school as a school you hate but end up being forced to go to because you get rejected (either academically or financially) from everywhere else. But this DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THE CASE. You can LOVE YOUR SAFETY. In fact, your safety school can be your number one choice: that’s totally fine! Spend at least as much time, if not more, researching and visiting safety schools, since there is a relatively high chance you will attend there. If you don’t get the same feeling at your safety school that you get at your reach school, then don’t apply. Find one you can still see yourself at, that has the programs you want, and that has the characteristics you want in a college. “Safety school” does NOT equal “terrible school.” If you go in with that mindset, you will never be able to succeed if that is where you end up attending. 

Only when a school meets all three of these criteria can it be considered a true safety school. 

Reine des Fleurs - slight summary + CGs (ch2, interlude, Leon’s route)

Ah ha ha ha I am so sorry for the delay. Except not really. I wanted to hold off on making these posts until I beat the game…and then it took me 1.5 months longer to beat the game than I thought it would since…well. Let’s just say that pretty art, music, and character design aren’t enough to save a game from the perils of writing.

Anyhow! Here’s all the CGs from Leon’s route and the common route parts of Ch2 + the interlude. There’s…not going to be as much summary from me as normal because it’s been a while, cough…though this got longer than I planned, so oops.

As it is, though, I think that Leon’s is the best route writing-wise of all five. Before I got the game I seriously thought that Leon would be this…mix of yandere + oresama, but nope. He was actually a really sweet and loyal puppydog of sorts. As for his incredible attachment to Violette…well, there’s a story behind that.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

My understanding is that bell hooks was not calling Beyonce a "terrorist" for her display of sexuality. I understood it to be a critique of Beyonce who is heralded as a feminist icon when she does propagate some anti-feminism (i.e eat the cake Annie Mae). I think we need to have a more holistic view of Beyonce and how we envision her role in feminist discourse. In addition, we must consider the "bottom bitch trope" and how systems of power are always at play regardless of our agency.

I just finished watching the whole livestream (it starts around 38 minutes where they discuss Beyonce and it goes for another 10 or so) and the “Annie Mae” line was mentioned briefly by Janet Mock, but bell hooks focused on the images in media being the greatest attack on feminism/women’s rights and an act of terrorism against young girls. I still disagree with the severity of her statement against Beyonce, but she made some great points about how the only images of women’s “liberation” (depending on how you view it) we’re seeing in media is that of a sexual nature and we need to have women in images that step away from society’s view of women and not just an inversion of it. She uses the often-quoted phrase “you can’t destroy master’s house with master’s tools” which is something to consider. She also points out that part of the reason Beyonce is glorified is due to classism and the fact that a lot her songs are about her being rich as fuck. 

But I agree about having a holistic view of Beyonce. I’m definitely guilty of having a shallow view of Beyonce’s “Flawless Feminism” and not looking at it as critically as I think we should. There are lines in the album that have made me uncomfortable that I didn’t question because I was like “oh well this is motherfucking Beyonce”. I shouldn’t put her on a feminist pedestal when she can be very problematic. Also, I actually wasn’t super aware of the bottom bitch trope but I really liked this article about it. 


The Idealists - Broadway MBTI

Idealists are abstract in speech and cooperative in pursuing their goals. Their greatest strength is diplomatic integration. Their best developed intelligence role is eithermentoring (Counselors and Teachers) or advocacy (Healers and Champions).

As the identity-seeking temperament, Idealists long for meaningful communication and relationships. They search for profound truths hidden beneath the surface, often expressing themselves in metaphor. Focused on the future, they are enthusiastic about possibilities, and they continually strive for self-renewal and personal growth.

Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self – always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination - and Idealists yearn to help others make the journey too.

Interests: Idealists tend to study the humanities. They seek careers facilitating the personal growth of others, whether through education, counseling, or other pursuits that promote the happiness and fulfillment of individuals and society.

Orientation: The lives of Idealists are guided by their devotion to their personal ethics.[1] They are altruistic, taking satisfaction in the well-being of others. They believe in the basic goodness of the world and of the people in it. They take a holistic view toward suffering and misfortune, regarding them as part of a larger, unknowable truth, a mystical cause-and-effect. With an eye toward the future, they view life as a journey toward a deeper spiritual knowledge.

Self-image: The Idealists’ self-esteem is rooted in empathetic action; their self-respect in their benevolence; and their self-confidence in their personal authenticity.

Values: The emotions of Idealists “are both easily aroused and quickly discharged.”[2] Their general demeanor is enthusiastic. They trust their intuition and yearn for romance. They seek deeper self-knowledge and want to be understood for who they are behind the social roles they are forced to play. They aspire to wisdom that transcends ego and the bounds of the material world.

Social roles: Idealists seek mutuality in their personal relationships. Romantically, they want a soulmate with whom they can share a deep spiritual connection. As parents, they encourage their children to form harmonious relationships and engage in imaginative play. In their professional and social lives, Idealists strive to be catalysts of positive change.