The Five-Song-Playlist

08 February 2016 

I woke up today feeling determined to get things done. I can’t seem to work properly and productively when the flat is messy so I cleaned up first. I set up my music because I feel better when I work with music. I remember choosing the playlist : Positive Vibes on Spotify, but why, and how come the first song that came up was 1973? positive vibes? It’s freaking poignant. My heart felt like it was breaking slowly into pieces again after hearing the first note. It’s crazy. half joking. I stared blankly at the sky for a while until it got too windy so I was forced to go back in. Back to reality.  

Brushed, mopped, wiped the floors, the doors, and the mirrors – no sweat. Couple of happy songs. Then Drops of Jupiter played. Are you kidding me now? who made this playlist? I cried while listening to it on my way home during a certain period in college. I knew this was about Pat Monahan’s mother, but it’s also about a strong woman, on a voyage, trying to find out who she was, and yes, I’m being nostalgic af. 

I haven’t moved on from that record yet, when James Morrison started singing Broken Strings shortly afterI rolled my eyes, because these songs aren’t helping me much in my quest to complete my chores early. I kept on thinking about other things and people instead of focusing on cooking my Chicken Adobo and it’s already way past lunch time. On that note, I was feeling everything but positive. But I still sang Nelly Furtado’s lines like how I used to.

Against all odds, I was still able to finish cleaning and cooking. Alone in my living room, I opened my laptop and started typing this. Now, Graduation is playing. 

| As we go on, we remember, all the times we’ve had togetherAnd as our lives change, come whatever… | 

What a perfect song to drown you in feels. Now I remember everything. and everyone. The first time I went to school, The Sound of Music play, Pink ladies, my childhood buddies, my high school hallways, our yearly recollection, the newspaper we’ve published, my first college quiz, my university friends, the International Studies Society, my sophomore p.e class, the college canteen, Batibot, the Admissions lobby, the UE Recto gate, and Lepanto gate. 2 years old Bree, 7 years old Mae, fetus Mica, my mom in her early 30s. My happy crush, the one that got away, the boy whose heart I broke, and the one who gave up on me. 

And just when I thought this nostalgia trip would never end, the last song in the playlist started. & It’s none other than Michelle Fckng Branch. So I instantly went from winter to spring and then to summer now it’s finally autumn again. 

Like the leaves are starting to fall perfectly into place. 

Like how my perspective is starting to clear out from the dust. 

Like how I understand now that it’s okay to miss some things or moments or people, but wouldn’t necessarily mean you’d want them all back. 

Like my heart starts to heal itself because my mind says everything will eventually make sense. 

That it’s okay not to rush, I can relax a bit. 

That given I know the beauty of my past, the value of my present and the hope for my future – I can do anything, everything – If I set my mind to it. 

Aaaaand it was still a positive playlist after all. So to all of my distractions, well, Goodbye to you. I am moving forward now.


Tub time. Happy 4/20!!! #holidazed #SGH #sghopefuls #sghopeful #suicidegirlhopeful #suicidegirlhopefuls #suicidegirl #suicidegirls

This is #cliffrichards in his natural habitat. He is obviously having the most horrible time. Holidays should be banned. They’re just so damn awful. 😉😎🌴🍍🍹💁🏻#holidaze #islandlyfe #lemboganz #best #fun #travel #adventure #life #live #love #holiday #bali #boat #sunset #nusalembongan #island #explore #relax #amazing #awesome #cool #cute #boy #cliffrichards (at Nusa Lembongan)


(via Adrian Macho on Instagram: “Light My Fire! 💪⚓️🔥✌️ #sailor #safetymatch #sailortattoo #sea #smoking #fire #muscle #movember #moustache #hipster #holidaze #society6 #ShareYourSociety6 #seasidespirit #anchor #autumn #artprint #type #typography #totebag #torpedo”)