ZENxMC Series #07
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6]

((BUT ALSO zen heals fast wow))
sorry if it took 23984739857 years for an update :))) i got super busy at work because of the holiday sale season O(-(

got7 as store workers


- the ‘idgaf pay me’ cashier
- looks like he belongs in a satanic ritual
- always has headphones in
- doesn’t care to ask the shoppers if they find everything okay
- double bags
- hides whenever someone asks for help
- gets flirted to or recorded by random customers
- doesn’t interact with his co-workers
- makes sure his cats are okay with his 24 security camera monitor app on his phone


- the shy baker boy
- always smells like cinnamon
- smiles sheepishly as he asks customers what they want
- can bake his butt off
- laughs at compliments
- always wearing hats even though it isn’t required
- sits to himself in the break room
- has sales every holiday


- the sophisticated coffee maker
- looks like a college student
- probably in college
- makes coffee exactly how customers want
- lowkey talks about everyone in the store
- drinks iced coffee on his break
- asks if the customers are doing well
- tries to not be awkward
- receives big tips
- is fake to his co-workers


- the weird bag boy
- you’d often catch him staring at model magazines with bikini girls
- always dabbing in the break room
- won’t stop harassing the customers as they receive their groceries with forcing them to 'do the dab’
- uses more expensive brands of his uniform to 'touch it up’
- actually goes overboard with dressing up
- always getting trouble for playing Migos on the speakers as the store music
- has a private dance session in empty aisles


- the fluffy craft shop worker
- offers free pints of paint every Sunday
- greets every customer with a bright 'hello!’
- craft store looks like a 5th grade painting class
- makes every customer feel joyful
- cracks jokes with customers that has them laughing
- always happy even to rude people
- gets in trouble for giving kids free art supplies
- requests school half off sales for students since he cares
- actually puts effort into his job and loves it


- the fitness store owner
- always at work even when he doesn’t need to be
- even has an organic section in the back
- pays employees a lot more than expected
- motivates customers with a free bag of organic green tea
- ends up becoming friends with the customers
- flirts with the cute girls he sees
- flirts with the cute boys
- “have a good day and stay healthy or don’t come back!!!”
- always hyper


- the music store employee
- gets in trouble for terribly playing the drums and singing in the microphones
- impresses customers with his amazing dancing skills
- gets a lot of tips
- always told to reach the higher items
- ends up with about 10 girl’s numbers
- gets shy and turns into jello when he receives compliments
- is caught being weird

Whenever I imagine Andreil’s apartment its kinda sophisticated, you know, like a couple house plants, soft white carpet, some simple wall hangings,
But like,,,,,, this is the home of the boy who literally never stops eating sugar and the boy who draws fox paws on his university homework???

- it’s a 2 bedroom apartment with one bedroom dedicated to just the cats, complete with toys, rhinestone dishes, a whole wall lined with those things that cats climb on, a queen size matress with a bunch of soft blankets, a fish tank for the cats to look at (not accessible to kitty paws, because neil only made that mistake 4 times thanks),
- listen,, summers are hot and if Neil bought them a princess themed kiddie pool that they keep on their balcony along with 2 orange camp chairs then that’s none of their neighbors’ business
- they have a tool kit for when stuff breaks but like. It’s composed of all those annoying awkward tools that come in the boxes when you buy furniture that you have to put together yourself
- their tv stand (that neil had to put together himself) is a little crooked and unstable and Andrew isn’t sure how Neil messed it up when there were instructions, but he “hates” it
- remember that mattress in the cats’ room? useless. The cats sleep with the boys, against Andrew’s protests. It gets more use from Neil and Andrew when they have really bad nights and need to sleep alone, or from nicky when he visits
- they have a snowcone maker where most people would have a coffee maker
- they also have a whiteboard on one wall that was supposed to be for grocery lists and reminders and whatnot but one day neil drew a cute stick figure blowing a kiss at another stick figure and the next day Andrew had changed it to one stick figure strangling another and now it’s just like a thing, like one of them draws something every day and then the other draws a response
- all of their dishes are from discount post-holiday sales. Halloween wine glasses, Christmas plates, st. Patrick’s day cups, thanksgiving mixing bowls and platters, Valentine’s day napkins,, what a mess
- they have like, 5 different rugs and like,,, they’re all horrible??? they aren’t even placed strategically?? One is kinda tossed haphazardly in the hall, one is in the kitchen in front of the sink, one is half hidden under a bookshelf, one is hung on the wall??? Pls,, who let these kids decorate???
- No couches. No chairs. Only beanbags.


{white bird’s nest fungus terrarium ring} 

when I first started making bird’s nest fungi rings a few years ago, this is the design I came up with. nowadays, my ring designs are much more intricate with minute details, but I still love the simplistic elements of this ring!  

U/ta tips

As someone who actually fucking works at the store I’m tired of seeing all the horrible misinformation about what to do at u/ta

1. For fucks sake please stop stealing testers especially in perfume there are hidden cameras perfume and certain stores mostly high volume stealing stores and we are told to monitor perfume the most

2. Do not go on lifting one hour before closing we know this is the most hit time of day that lifters tend to shoplift there’s always a second manager watching the cameras at this time

3. Yes we always check cameras and I mean always if you beep we will check cameras and yes we will check the cameras outside to get your license plate number people who say this is a true are stupid and never have worked at the store

4. If you hit the same store over and over we do not build cases, however we will monitor you and most likely call the cops/mall cops

5. The reason why the white cubes of death exist is because people keep stealing 5 to 10 pallets of eyeshadow at a time stop doing this you’re making it harder for everyone

6. Speaking of the white cubes of death, the naked palette with these cubes on them or normally not checked just slide the pallets out of the boxes and leave the boxes alone I know this is normally not good but when the boxes or tag for the white cubes no one really checks them

7. If our managers see us on camera spotting a lifter and we on purposely let them get away our asses are in trouble so if you’re stupid enough to get caught by simple mistakes I don’t feel sorry for you

8. Do not conceal in drugstore makeup this is the place where most people do and are caught and where we find most of our empty boxes do not conceal in high end hair care either The best place to conceal is probably hair brushes or where the hair dryers are

9. When there is a big event such as sales or holidays specials there will be even more lost prevention in the store please make sure to be more careful than normal and cameras are actively monitored don’t be stupid

10. We cannot confront you only managers can we cannot touch you only police officers can we wear headsets to communicate constantly please don’t avoid us the best excuse is always I’m looking or I’m just browsing or killing time

11. In my experience, it doesn’t matter if you wear nice make up in the store or if it looks good we will always come up to you whether you were wearing make up or not just trying to dress in clothing that is not black because people are constantly come up to you and ask if you work there

anonymous asked:

hi bri! i noticed you've been learning jp and wanted to know if you're being tutored or if you're learning by yourself. if your self taught, if its okay with you, it'd be great to hear what has worked for you in this process! ty for your time <3

ah…i see someone has been reading my sub-N5 tweets :3333c yea i started learning so i could watch japanese theatre because no one subs productions and it’s hard to find info on them in english.

i’m teaching myself! it’s slow going but i really enjoy it. here’s what’s working for me so far:

dr. moku for hiranaga/katakana. it costs a little bit of money. there are obviously free ways to learn kana and it’s not that hard at all, but i 1. have a shitty memory and the mnemonics stuck with me 2. have my phone with me 100% of the time so it was easy for me to study them constantly. 

wanikani for kanji. costs more money. i got a lifetime subscription for $200 during a holiday sale. upsides: drills repetition into you and game-ifies the experience so you’re more inclined to “level up” and study hard. downsides: extremely picky with answers, bad with vocab, reviews pile up fast. still, it works for me. first 3 levels are free so try it out! i’ve heard if you use the code "CRAB YORI GATOR" you get 50% off. a free alternative is anki which i use more for vocab, but you have to be harder on yourself to study.

human japanese for all beginner needs. the full version costs like $20 but it is so thorough and easy to understand. it covers everything from kana to grammar to vocab. i’m still p early on so idk how deep it goes but for a dead beginner it’s great. tae kim is totally free but sort of hard for me to understand. imabi is also free and covers a huuuuuuge breadth of information, but is a bit too thorough for the level i’m at rn.

lang-8 for having natives check your japanese, and just making friends in general. i am…horribly shy about my ability to write in japanese so i rarely post here LOL, but it’s nice to talk to japanese people wanting to learn english and everyone is very forgiving of errors.

NHK easy news for reading practice! i also buy manga to practice reading too. anything with furigana…horf…i also follow a lot of japanese celebrities and artists to practice reading more casual stuff.

animelon for speaking/listening/everything practice. anime with japanese subs where you can look up individual words and quiz yourself afterwards. some of the subs are a little bit off, but other than that it’s been helpful for me to connect listening with reading.

the genki and nakama series of textbooks are great also. i have both and i haven’t finished either but they’re helpful.

when it comes to speaking practice idk im total shit haha. find a buddy i guess…people say to repeat native sentences and record yourself to work on your pronunciation which i haven’t done yet but makes sense to me. 

also prob the biggest thing i’ve run into that i would stress: kanji is not vocabulary. kanji is not vocabulary!! im at a point right now where if i read some material at my level, i can recognize most of the kanji and their readings but i don’t know what they mean in context. so…try your best to focus on vocab early on. that would be my #1 advice.

i hope!!!?! that helps!!!?! if anyone reading this is also learning and would like a practice buddy hit me up  ❤


I figured I owed you guys some sketches. Sorry I haven’t drawn much! I’m heading into finals and seasonal depression aaahhhhh.
So just bear with me. I have a list of things I’m going to get done over my thanksgiving break next week including the paladin suit tutorial, holiday commission sales, and new holiday stickers for redbubble! 


Retail employee here, work for a store with a “?” In its name.
So, we sell clothes, cool, awesome.
Sometimes we get people who wanna change in our dressing rooms and put on the shirt, jeans or dress they bought.
No problem.

But today was the opposite of NO PROBLEM.
Rewind to the morning, it’s 8:45 and I’m working on cleaning the store and getting cleaning duties done. I hear the sound of someone trying to open the doors and see this tall guy staring at me.
I mouth that we aren’t open, he nods and leaves.
Forward to twenty minutes when we leave to take the deposit and he’s at the door again, trying to pry it open. He sees that it’s closed and begins to leave, only to try and enter when my manager opens the door to let us back in.
She informs his that the mall doesn’t open until 10am, he nods and walks away.

We thought that was it, but he comes back at around noonish, in hand I can see that he bought stuff from some of the other stores at the mall.
No big deal, I’m thinking he’s just doing some shopping on after holiday sales or something.
He wanders the store a bit then comes forward with a sweater and jeans.
He’s polite throughout the transaction and pays in cash, then asks if he can change in the fitting room.
My manager allows him in. Thinking it’s no big deal, we have people do it all the time.

He takes a good twenty minutes in the room, at this point I’m helping someone on the sales floor and only watching the front.
I peek over just in time to see him leave the store with nothing in his hands.
Then it hits me, I leave the customer and run to the fitting rooms to see a giant pile of clothes he left.
The smell that escaped that fitting room was horrendous, I had to clean up everything.
He left boxes and bags from his previous purchases, along with: three huge coats he was wearing, a pair of dirty pants and shorts, old sneakers, UNDERWEAR, old socks and this is the kicker.

We found police records that he was arrested several weeks ago and that he failed to meet with his probation officer.

So, not only did this guy’s leave his dirty underwear in our fitting room, but he’s practically on the run.

Fourth Christmas

the series is as follows so far:

FirstSecond ThirdFourthFifthFifth Christmas, Part 2SixthSeventhEighthNinthTenthEleventhTwelfthThirteenthFourteenthFifteenthSixteenthSeventeenthEighteenthNineteenthTwentiethTwenty-firstTwenty-secondTwenty-third


She hadn’t decorated that year. She’d flown out to California with her mother several days before Christmas and wasn’t supposed to return until just before New Year’s so she made the executive decision to leave her decorations in the closet.

Mulder had also refrained from decking her place out in her absence.

It was fairly difficult for him.

But then he got the phone call, had to fly out to her and all manner of holiday cheer was forgotten, shoved to the wayside in the wake of news he never expected to turn out anything but bad.

Now, they were just leaving the airport, January 3rd and the world depressed around them. They rang in the New Year piecing together a funeral, Scully holding him at arms’ length while she pushed her mother away completely, choosing to sit idly in his hotel room rather than face champagne, fireworks and Dick Clark. He’d cracked open the mini-bar in the room and paid an exorbitant amount to help Scully drink her sorrows down, drowning them for a few precious minutes in cheap whiskey and off-brand gin.

They’d left for their plane right from the church, Scully having once again told her mother that she was fine traveling home without her. Maggie had been not-so-subtly hinting about staying a few extra days with her new grandson and given Scully couldn’t picture being trapped on a plane beside her mother for six hours minimum, she paid extra, informed her mother she was leaving with Mulder and walked away, trying not to think about the funeral they would have to attend first.

The flight was quiet but not awkward, surprising given the last two weeks of their lives. Mulder, to his astonishment, felt a small, cold hand slide over his arm, her fingers fitting between his like they were meant to be there, as they took off. He didn’t react, thought, except to twist his hand upside-down, palm to palm, weaving knuckles, warming bone.

Disembarking the plane, they entered the insanity of National Airport and Mulder all but curled himself around her, blocking her from running passengers, shopping bags, backpacks, rogue rolling luggage, that mumbling guy that seems to be in every airport they’ve ever been in, just wearing a different hat. Guiding her to baggage claim, he grabbed their bags, clearing a path she trailed close behind in as they aimed towards his car.

Finally, eventually, they were on the road, Scully small in her seat, Mulder quiet in his, until, “is it strange that it feels like it was never Christmas?”

Worrying his cheek between his teeth, he shook his head, “not really. I mean, you got out there and the world went weird, then surprising then completely terrible and now you’re back home in January and you never had time to stop and realize it was Christmas.”

Head back against the seat, she let her face fall towards the window, away from her partner, “I don’t want to go home, Mulder.”

“Then we won’t.” Instead, he took them to his apartment, opening her door for her, taking her hand as she stepped up the curb. Soon, they were in his place, door safely locked behind them, Mulder gently guiding her towards the bedroom, “go take a nap. I’ll go back out and get some food for this place and when I get back, we’ll have dinner and watched Christmas movies until March.”

She had a protest crawling up her throat but it never saw the light of day as she nodded, defeated by the world and uncomfortable in her own skin. Walking first out of her shoes, then pulling off her sweater to reveal Mulder’s Care Bear t-shirt she had stolen, loaned back and commandeered once again, she made it under the covers before she began to cry. Watching her from the doorframe, he gave her a minute while he pulled his own shoes off, relinquished his overhead, closed the blinds to the falling twilight as well as the soon-to-be-glowing streetlights. Finding the box of Kleenex in the living room, he set it beside her on the nightstand, then leaned into her, hand on the mattress, “do you want some company or would you like me to go find some food?”

Her non-committal, soggy, shoulder shrug gave him his answer and without another syllable, he climbed up and crawled right over her, jostling her, accidently-on-purpose rolling her onto her back, t-shirt chest smushing her nose, blankets all bunched by the time he went horizontal beside her. She was still crying but her lips were curled up instead of down and that was progress in his book.

Once he’d gotten under the covers, straightened them, made sure they were tucked around her opposite shoulder tightly, he manhandled her lightly, rolling her the rest of the way towards him, tucking her head against his shoulder, “hit me if you want me to go away.”

Then he cried with her.


It seemed hours until she finally fell asleep, the last bottled up 11 days pouring forth in an ugly catharsis of Kleenex, sobbing hiccups and soaking wet cotton until she finally passed out, mouth open, nose congested, eyes so puffy he’d be surprised if she could see anything the next morning.

He wouldn’t trade her for a damn thing.

Inching out of the bed, he got his shoes back on and disappeared out the door, food and other things on his to-do list.


It was well after midnight before he fell asleep on the couch and after 3am before he felt the softest of kisses on his cheek, then the heavier of kisses on his mouth. The quiet ‘thank you’ made him open his eyes, deciding he would be a terrible person if he followed her mouth for another kiss but the debate was there, the contemplation, then, her lips on his again, just the corner of his mouth but it held warmth and promise and tasted a little like Almond Chicken sauce.

“You found dinner.”

“I did find dinner.” Sitting on the coffee table, she leaned forward, elbows on knees, “and I found Christmas.”

Smiling so wide his eyes disappeared in crinkles, “I couldn’t let you not have Christmas.”

Scully pointed over her shoulder, “you broke into my house again. That is not the reason you have a key.”

Behind her, her tree was twinkling beside Mulder’s desk, lights, ornaments, stockings, candy canes all stolen from her hall closet and apparently transferred, while she was dead asleep, from her place to his and set up, spewing forth Christmas joy where there hadn’t been any when she went to sleep.

“I do that.”

“I see you added garland. Where in the world did you get garland after Christmas?”

“Magical elves and post-holiday blow-out sales. I could have also bought 1.2 miles of Christmas lights for $.60.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Where the hell would I hang 1.2 miles of Christmas lights?”

“We could have made it work.”

Sitting up, he patted the couch beside him, “come here.” She scooted to him before he continued, “how’s your head?”

“Throbbing. How do my eyes look?”


Her barriers were still down, as they tended to be more and more around him and without pretense, she shifted her legs over his lap and leaned into his upper arm, “I found the new ornament.”

It was a glittery snow globe of Santa on a beach, feet up, reindeer lolling on his back in the sand.

“Bought it a few weeks back and was just gonna slip it in your box when I was over next and then, well, this seemed better.”

Hugging his arm next, “I love it. Thank you very much.”

Once his arm started moving, he wasn’t about to stop it and soon, it was around her shoulders, his feet on the coffee table, his other hand on her knee. Giving it a small squeeze, “I think we should pretend that we are couch potatoes whose world extends no further than this apartment.”

“Can it extend into tomorrow maybe?” Looking at her watch, “we only have 3 hours until we are supposed to leave for work.”

“Are you suggesting Christmas hooky?” Simply nodding her ‘yes’, he ‘hmm’d’ his agreement in his throat, then rested his head against the top of hers, “any of that Chinese food left?”

Muscles tightening to stand, he held her in place instead, “that wasn’t a hint to go get me food. I’ll get something later. Right now, I like you here and me here and … I like us … right here.”


He was almost back asleep, head heavy on hers, when he heard her say something. Not opening his eyes, “what?”

“How can I miss her? I knew her for less than two weeks.”

“But she was your daughter. Doesn’t matter how long you knew her.”

“How do I know if I miss her as a person or as an idea?” He could hear the waver in her voice, “what am I supposed to do now?”

“Right now,” turning her in a twisty, contorted, shifting, sliding kind of way, he managed to get them both lying on the couch without either falling on the floor, “I think you should stop thinking and close your eyes,” gripping her and turning her a few degrees until her hip wasn’t digging in his parts, “and listen to my voice while I tell you,” now running his finger lightly over her eyebrows and forehead, “a story,” moving his finger over her cheek and chin, “about how Santa is really an alien.”



“I really wanted to keep her.”

Squeezing her tightly to him, he mumbled into her hair, “I know you did.”

Theft and coupon fraud, I will slay you with fake kindness and throw away your coupons.

This happened a couple weeks ago. I work in a large store in the toys and electronics department. I was set to close in that department, but the store was extra busy due to some early holiday sales. I got called up to backup the registers as a spare cashier, just to shorten the lines and check out 3 or 4 folks.

I hop on a register and call over the next person waiting in line at another overflowing register. But before that person can move over, another woman pushes past her, pretending not to have seen or heard what was going on. I’m going to refer to her as Bad Mom. She’s pulling two overflowing baskets, has a baby covered in vomit in one arm and a toddler running behind, trying to keep up.

I overlook Bad Mom cutting in line, knowing she would only slow down another register anyway, and none of the other customers complained or looked annoyed. This poor mom definitely had her hands full, or at least that’s the image she was going for.

I greet Bad Mom, do my friendly bit as I start scanning her items. She is flustered and rushed, but is overly friendly. She starts strategically placing the toys on the counter to check out in a specific order.

“Oh! The friendliest employee was helping me out in toys earlier. She said to double check all of the prices for these toys, because they’re not ringing up for the correct amount,” explains Bad Mom.

Alright, sometimes old signs are left up, and we have to honor them. I’m trying to move quickly, so I listen to her as I ring up the items. I would have ignored one red flag, and corrected one item no problem. The store was incredibly busy, and sometimes it’s easier to chop off $3 off their bill and look into it later.

But this wasn’t the case. Bad Mom had corrections on almost every toy, $10-$20 off each item with the rare “Oh that one is correct” to balance her story out. So I start asking innocent questions in a very friendly fashion to lure out more details.

“Oh wow, these prices seem really off!” I say in a surprised, apologetic voice.

“Yes, I know! The girl working back in toys was so very helpful.”

“I’m so glad to hear that! Do you remember who it was? It helps them a lot to get good compliments from customers.”

Bad Mom happily weaves a lovely detailed story for me about a non-existent employee. One, I was the only person working in that department. Two, I was the only female employee anywhere near that section of the store that night. Three, Bad Mom describe this girl as being blonde. There was literally no blonde females working in the store that day, and absolutely no blonde female employees in that department or the surrounding departments.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a manager walking past. I flag her down in front of Bad Mom.

I keep my voice very sweet and happy. I speak clearly and loudly so the customer can hear. “Hey, [managers name]! This guest had an awesome compliment about a blonde employee working toys tonight, but we can’t figure out who it is. I’m the only one working in toys tonight, correct?”

I see Bad Mom get a little nervous hearing that I work in toys.

The manager is very obviously confused, “Uh, yes, you’re the only one in toys…” She speaks politely, but I can see her looking over the customer and her overflowing carts. “Is something wrong?”

I sweetly explain that I’m having to do some price adjustments and just wanted to double check with her and whoever else was working in toys. As I say this, an idea pops into my head.

“Oh! Was it [employee]?” I point over to another employee, who’s head is barely visible through the crowd. You can just barely see the top of her head, which has two bleached streaks of hair. I secretly hope Bad Mom takes the bait.

“That could be… Yes, I think that was her!” Bad Mom exclaims, her voice overflowing with happiness and relief at being given an out.

Little did she know, I had pointed to a woman who works in Asset Protection (AP). The manager picks up on it right away and says, “Oh perfect, I’ll send her over. Take care of the other cart until then.”

I become increasingly apologetic about the hassle, saying that I really didn’t mean to make a big deal about it and promising to hurry with her groceries in the mean time. Bad Mom keeps her act going, her voice dripping with fake friendliness, meeting each of my apologies with her own for being so much trouble.

As I start scanning her groceries, she pulls out more than 30 pages of printed coupons and scatters them across my entire check lane. She turns up her flustered act, waving her children around for pity. Her baby boy, his face and entire front half of his body covered in dry vomit, looks exhausted. At this point Bad Mom is literally slinging him around in her arms, jostling him, keeping him from sleeping. Her toddler is laying on the floor crying quietly and unable to articulate completely that she is hungry. Bad Mom keeps apologizing to her toddler without even so much as glancing at her, promising to get her home soon.

Bad Mom keeps going with her story, saying she had been in our store shopping for over four hours (which I later learned was very false thanks to the cameras). I offered having her carts ready for her if she wanted to get some food for her kids or take them to the restroom. She declined, saying it wasn’t a big deal.

By this point, Asset Protection has arrived. I prompt Bad Mom to explain the details to AP, who is very friendly in return and offers to have all of the prices checked for her, but warns it will take time. Bad Mom disengages as much as possible. She can tell her story is now very obviously false to us, and says she would love to come back later tonight to purchase the toys. Bad Mom diffuses as much as possible, clearly hoping AP will go away.

AP stays nearby, of course.

Bad Mom starts passive aggressively rushing me. She dials up the friendly act even further, responding to anything her toddler says with, “I’m sorry, honey, this is the last time mommy will use so many coupons. I promise we’ll go home soon.” Bad Mom intentionally brings up her children to me as much as possible, trying to invoke more pity and hoping I will mess up the coupons. She starts actively trying to trick me into scanning extra coupons or scanning them twice. She tries to separate out her orders to use conflicting offers.

Sadly, I’m not new to this game. I don’t fall into the rushed emotional state she’s trying to put me in. I scan each item and coupon correctly, and gently explain each time I can’t accept a coupon. I work quickly for the sake of her children, but Bad Mom is wasting time mixing up the coupons intentionally, literally shuffling them when she thinks I’m not paying attention.

My visual memory is very good; I know when I’ve scanned a coupon. Bad Mom can’t trick me, and even when she thinks she does, I intentionally scan a coupon double to show her the error that pops up on the register. After 10 minutes of coupon scanning and item counting, I begin to lose my patience. So I turn it into a game for myself. How many pages of her precious coupons can I throw away?

See normally, we are supposed to throw away coupons when we scan them, but because she had them all printed out together on pages (6 or so per page), she wouldn’t let me take them. I began exclaiming things like, “Awesome! I got all the ones on this page,” and “Perfect, you’ve claimed all of these already” and throwing away full pages of coupons. After throwing away 5 or 6 pages, which was sadly only a small dent in her stack, she began clutching each page to her quickly after I exclaimed that I was done with a page.

So I lean back comfortably, take a short step away from the counter each time I pick up a new page to scan. I keep up my friendly chatter and toss each page after I’ve redeemed the coupons on it. I keep saying little victory phrases after each page, as if I was on her side. I do return a few pages to her to keep the illusion going, but only if more than half of the coupons on the page weren’t redeemed or duplicates.

Bad Mom must have admitted defeat after that. She dropped the butt-kissing attitude and didn’t shuffle the coupons after that. She even sifted through the cart of toys and paid full price for two of them with the excuse of: “I remember the price of these were correct, so I’ll pick them up now.”

I apologized for the inconvenience (of not letting her get away with lying or coupon fraud) and gave her oldest child a sticker for being so patient. The poor girl had given up on crying and had spent the last half hour sitting on the floor fidgeting with some M&Ms that Bad Mom bought for her quite angrily.

After Bad Mom left, I checked in with AP. Turns out she had been watching her since she first walked into the store since she was a known shop lifter. She hadn’t been in the store long, grabbed toys quickly off the shelf without even looking at prices, and of course, there was no mysterious blonde employee. Bad Mom was very lucky that she didn’t try to steal anything that day. This just gets added to her file, and she’ll be watched even more closely at the registers now.

tl;dr A mother tries to get $200+ worth of toys for under $50, feeds me lies to do so and neglects her tired, hungry kids in the process. She then wastes my time and delays her kids from eating even more by trying to commit coupon fraud. I unnecessarily toss most of her coupons and add to her record with AP.

I’m long-winded, sorry. D:


{large terrarium ring featuring dry preserved fluted bird’s nest fungi, teeny tiny orange mushrooms, 3 miniature ferns, and goldenrod florets}

this gem of a ring has been marked way down since I first listed it. it’s a one-of-a-kind piece that would make a unique holiday gift! ^_^

ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(; ̄◇ ̄)┘
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