holiday ham


This took forever, but it was a lot of fun to draw! Christmas music is my favorite thing about the Xmas season, and there are many more Holiday Ham fan art to come!

Recipe of the Day: Ina’s 5-Star Orange Baked Ham
If you’re anything like Ina, you don’t buy the holiday ham and call it Easter brunch. In fact, Ina infuses a fully cooked, spiral-cut smoked ham with citrusy flavor by slathering it in a homemade glaze of Dijon mustard, brown sugar and orange three ways: marmalade, juice and zest. [recipe in bio]

aaronbrahsir  asked:


  • who hogs the duvet: definitely ham
  • who texts/rings to check how their day is going: I think for the most part they trust the other is doing well (in fact they probably spend most of their time together, even/especially at work) but when it is necessary, both of them.
  • who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: Burr. Ham is too distracted lmao
  • who gets up first in the morning: B u r r.
  • who suggests new things in bed: Probably Ham. Burr is usually happy sticking to the usual.
  • who cries at movies: I’d say Ham. Burr’s p good at bottling up emotions. Neither of them do it often, though.
  • who gives unprompted massages: Ham.
  • who fusses over the other when they’re sick: moreso Burr
  • who gets jealous easiest: Mostly Burr, though they’re both pretty jealous people, Ham uses it more as motivation than actually letting himself get “jealous”
  • who has the most embarrassing taste in music: Ham. Burr doesn’t really listen to music often, but Alex’s taste is some odd mix of sixties rock, classical, and alternative.
  • who collects something unusual: Alex collects coins. Not that unusual, but it’s a thing. A A Ron, however, super low-key collects different variations of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Alice Through the Looking Glass
  • who takes the longest to get ready: Burr. They both want to look impeccable, but Alex is in a rush about it.
  • who is the most tidy and organised: B u r r.
  • who gets most excited about the holidays: Aaron, since Ham never really celebrated the holidays really, so he doesn’t have all the nice family memories.
  • who is the big spoon/little spoon: Alexander is big spoon, Burr is little spoon.
  • who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports: fucking alex man
  • who starts the most arguments: who the fuck do you think
  • who suggests that they buy a pet: Alexander wants a cat
  • what couple traditions they have: I got nothin \_(ツ)_/¯
  • what tv shows they watch together: Alex forces Aaron to watch Bull and Castle with him, and Burr likes Doctor Who but they don’t watch it often. Angelica got them both really into Turn.
  • what other couple they hang out with: Pretty much any couples in the Squad or the Sisters. Mostly Marliza
  • how they spend time together as a couple: usually reading, or attempting to have civilized conversations. Alexander ends up ranting to burr a lot
  • who made the first move: Alexander. He made an off-hand mention that he kinda likes Burr once when they were hanging out.
  • who brings flowers home: Burr
  • who is the best cook: Burr

I survived Finals!!

Now its time for all the Holiday Hamilton doodles! This was so much fun! If anyone has a Holiday Ham request, please feel free to leave a message in my inbox. I have King George III as the Grinch coming up next!

amid-a-lightless-place  asked:

Prompt: 80: “ Let's run away together. ” for NyxNoct

Prompt list

One corner of his mouth lifts in a soft curl of amusement as the words filter through whatever mind-numbing fog Noctis settled himself into whenever he poured over the books forever scattered across his writing desk, each of them opened on seemingly unrelated pages that he navigated with all the ease of a college student used to the absurd links between texts (either that or he was very good at bullshitting his way through some of his classes).

It happens in stages.  The scritch-scratch of his pen ceases as Noctis lifts it from paper before he can confuse what he’s heard with what he means to write.  Then he straightens from the slump universally made by students wanting someone to put them out of their misery, spine straightening in increments as his shoulders creep up towards his shoulders.  He pauses there, and Nyx manages to count to thirty-two while Noctis turns the suggestion over in the stressed obstacle course of his mind.  And then he spins around all at once to face Nyx, so sudden and quick that he has to stomp his feet down to stop the wheelie chair from spinning him right back around to face his desk again.  Those pretty blue eyes of his are wide open in surprise, jaw slack in such a manner that Nyx is sorely tempted to pelt a cashew nut for his mouth.

“You can’t be serious.”

“I think you’ll find that I am.”

“We can’t just run away, Nyx!”

“Says who?”

“Well, my Dad for one!  And Ignis.  I’m pretty sure Clarus would hit the roof if he found out I escaped the Citadel without the Crownsguard catching wind of it.  And every single one of my ancestors?  Are you crazy?  Do you want stuck on traffic duty for a month?  Or tossed in one of the cells in the basement levels for kidnapping the Crown Prince?  Or exiled back to Galahd or strung up like a holiday ham with an apple shoved in your mouth and - mmmph!”  He cuts off the rambling with a simple kiss, having advanced on Noctis while he worked himself into a minor tizzy, setting his hands on the arms of the chair and leaning down as Noctis automatically looks up, catching him with lips parted around a lost word and taking great delight in the muffled squeak that follows.  He takes his time to coax a response from his lover, keeping the contact light and teasing and sweet until fingers whip up to tangle in his hair and tug on his braids, and only then does he draw back just enough for breath to mingle and eyes to meet.

The smile from earlier turns smug when he notes the surprise-turned-panic has melted into a dusting of pink on Noct’s cheeks and dark lashes fluttering as he blinks several times in quick succession, breath leaving him in one mighty exhale before he’s biting at his lip and hell, does that make Nyx want to yank him up from the chair and lean him back over the table instead.

“What I want, lovely, is a couple of days to ourselves.  A trip beyond the wall with no Crownsguard, no meetings, no Glaives, no obligations.  Just the two of us lazing around and doing whatever the fuck we want in a place where our faces aren’t known.  I want the chance to wake at the crack of dawn and roll back over for an extra hour or so of sleep with my boyfriend in my arms, and an entire day or two spent reminding him that he’s more than just the people’s Prince, that he’s important even without the titles, that it’s okay to be stressed and cranky and done with the world, and that I love him anyway.  And if anyone has an issue with that, they can go fuck a cactuar.”

His impromptu speech is met with a bark of laughter and that adorable, shy smile of Noct’s that warms his heart even as it breaks it because he knows, he knows, that Noctis has been backed into a corner.  That he’s fallen into being the Prince first and Noctis second, has already started placing the city’s interests above his own even though he still has time with his father seated on the throne.  He reaches up to claim the hands still wound in his hair, holds both between his own and peppers kisses over slender fingers, meeting his lover’s gaze as he does.

“Run away with me, Noct.  Just for a weekend.”

“… All right.  But you get to tell my Dad.”


My story about hogfarmer90 and his gentle giant

Nothing, and I mean nothing, does for me what my gentle giant does for me. Nothing else in this world gives me hope or a reason to get out of bed. Sure, I like my job and my friends, and yeah Marvel has been making some incredible movies, but how can anything else give me pure bliss and happiness like HE can?

First off, I’m not intimidating when it comes to my looks. I’m a mere five feet eight inches, weighing in at 140 pounds. I’ve always been a short, skinny kid. I wear slim sized jeans and sometimes even a medium shirt is too big on me. I do love my body though. I don’t know about you, but being this thin and pressed up against a big guy is amazing. You feel so small and helpless compared to someone muscular or even chubby, it’s hard to explain the electricity that shoots through my every nerve. This is how I feel with my man, @bigboyjay.

He’s more than I am. He’s seven inches taller than me, and weighs two hundred pounds more. He’s a hog. MY hog. MY gentle giant. MY giant slob. And man, do I fucking love him.

Oh, you should see him how I do. He is 340 pounds of pure lard and jiggle. He purposely will wear small shirts around me, since he knows how crazy he makes me. His gut always sinks below the bottom of his shirts, and I love to watch it jiggle when he walks. It covers the waistband of whatever he wears and hangs there just for me to play with it. I’ll sometimes stand behind him and grab his belly, feeling how big my hog has gotten. I’ll rub his overhang and work my way to his sunken belly button, where I’ll spread my hands out to his sides and feel every last delectable roll. My cock stirs in my pajama pants as I work my way up and feel his developing man tits, while he’s left there, fully hard and belly rumbling. This is where the real fun begins.

I’ll throw his fat ass down onto our loveseat and straddle him so he can’t move. Well let’s face it he could easily throw me off of him, but we both know he won’t. No dessert for bad behavior. Not when master is around. He will place his hands at his side and not move them until I tell him to. What happens next is an immense feeding. Pizza slices. Cupcakes. Giant gulps of his favorite soda. Every time urging him to eat more than the last feeding. Begging him to pack more in. Silently keeping track of the calories he’s consuming. 210 calories for every slice of his large meat and cheese packed pizza. Eight slices make that 840 calories. 744 for the entire bottle of Coke. And 350 calories for every cupcake I can squeeze into his already crammed gut. I can feel it slowly working its way against me as he begins to get full and bow out. My cock presses against is belly as he reaches his end. 3,684 calories my fat hog eats. He finally moves his chubby hands to his hard gut and moans as a greasy burp gurgles out of his mouth.

And do you know what? This fat hog will manage to get into position and suck me off afterwards. No matter how full I make him, no matter what I cram into his fat gut, he will always leave room for my cock and all the cum I will pump into his swollen gullet. He will work and slobber on my dick until I am screaming with an orgasm. His mouth is hot with pizza sauce and he doesn’t stop until he gets his fill of me.

Sometimes, I’ll lick my way down his belly, and marvel at his huge fat pad. My man used to have a hard cock of 6.5 inches, but man did I wreck that for him. His pad has swallowed my man’s hard cock, but I still love to suck what I can of it. I grab his pad and rub his hard belly as I work his cock head with my tongue, knowing he’s too full to move or resist. My favorite thought as I go down on him is knowing that one day, his belly will be too big to see my head as I go down on him. I can’t wait for the day when it’s so round empty that he won’t be able to see me servicing him.

I once came home from work to find my hog of a man passed out on the couch, two pizzas and bag of bread bites devoured. He has sauce and grease on his face, grease staining his shirt, and a hard gut poking out from the shirt. I took my chance and fucked his gut until my cum coated his belly like a glazed donut. Before I could gather myself, I watched as from a daze he ran his fingers through my jizz and licked it off his fingers. I could’ve shot again right then. His reward, of course, was an entire box of Girl Scout cookies.

Well, he’s coming home soon and I have the entire remains of our Thanksgiving dinner waiting for him. Pounds of turkey, containers of beans, stuffing, ham, corn muffins, two different types of pie, cranberry sauce, and whole chunks of my mother’s holiday ham.

Can’t wait to stuff my Thanksgiving Turkey.

(I couldn’t choose between two captions so I’ll use both:) ((also there’s a hidden dick somewhere on here))

-After all that sin last night— I think some pure Holiday Lams is needed.

-They said bring the holiday ham but I could of sworn I heard “holiday Lam”!



Because tomorrow’s the 24th and I actually have a thing to attend that I’m actually looking forward to and I wanted to leave a little greeting for you guys! I am also helplessly biased with John - I’m so sorry.

Holiday Medicine: Christmas 2012 edition

I’m so bummed I didn’t get to post this last year. In fact it happened the day after Christmas, but I think it still counts because the injury occurred during the aftermath of Christmas celebrating.

My lovely grandmother, who I guarantee is way cooler than yours (just sayin), was slicing up some left over roast beast for a delicious day-after-Christmas sammich. Unfortunately, her knife was not the sharpest in the drawer. It slipped and sliced her hand instead of the ham.

Thanks to her daily aspirin and the very unfortunate placement of the cut above a very mobile joint, she began to bleed like a stuck pig.

Pressure, super glue, and band-aids were not cutting it, so she bought herself a visit to urgent care to see someone who was very likely the famed Dr. Cranquis himself. Cranquis stitched her expertly and she went about her merry little way.

So a word to the wise: it sounds counter-intuitive, but sharpen your knives before digging into your roast beast today. It’ll keep the knife in the beast and out of your hand…

anonymous asked:

sO I SAW YOU TALKING BSS CHIRSTMAS HEADCANNONS ON THAT POST AND oh god they were so cute. Please share more holy shit

Ventus: CHRISTMAS, FUCK YEAH. Ven is 110% down with the Christmas spirit. Ugly Christmas sweaters, caroling, eggnog, everything. There is no December. Only Christmas. It’s the first day of Christmas. Ven loves the idea of being a part of something bigger, and bringing a little bit of the outside world into his own little one. Ventus is down with all holidays, but Christmas is his favorite, a trait he and Sora share. For Ven, Christmas means spending time with family and friends, two things he holds near and dear to him so it has alot of sentimental meaning to him. He’ll totally sing Christmas songs under his breath, decorate the halls with holly and put mistletoe under doors so he can mess with Terra and Aqua. Though it does backfire but he’s not gonna complain about getting smooches. On Christmas Eve he makes everybody get together and hang out until the clock strikes 12, and then everybody tears into the presents! Ven tends to buy presents, but they always have a meaning behind them, his gifts carry emotion.

Aqua: Aqua is really into Christmas too. Mainly since Ven is so into it, the cheer gets to her as well. She makes cookies, gets the tree all set up, buys the holiday ham, gets the eggnog, makes the punch. She’s basically your local friendly Christmas mom. She’s never been to Christmas Town before, so she has to get alot of pointers from books, online, and of course, Sora, so their Christmas ends up being this adorable hodgepodge of different things that are Christmas related. Aqua will totally go caroling with Ven and she really enjoys it! Also Ven/Aqua singing duet is the shit. Nothing can top Aqua’s rendition of Silent Night. Aqua is also their local ‘Santa’, since Santa can’t visit their world easily she usually stuffs the stockings herself. But some gifts pop up randomly…. Aqua makes gifts herself- they’re both practical but sentimental, and they carry alot of emotion in them.

Terra: Terra is sort of indifferent to Christmas at first. What are all these lights doing around. What is there a weed under the door. Aqua are you aware there is a large tree in the castle room. Eventually, it gets to him slowly, all the cheer and happiness and evntually Terra puts on the Ugly Sweaters and drinks the eggnog. It’s abit embarrassing, but when he sees how happy Ven and Aqua gets about Christmas he can’t help but be happy too. He doesn’t like to carol but hey, he’ll go along anyways. He also spikes the punch because somebody has to. Terras is the sort to buy somebody what they want, but includes little cards to let them know he is thinking about them. Aw. Also, he enjoys mistletoe- it means nobody can yell at him for sneaking kisses from Ven.

THIS WAS SUPER FUN TO ANSWER! If you want to send me an ask about my headcannons or stuff please do, I love talking about KH <3