holiday & brown

Hear Me Out, okay?

Where’s my Jewish!Batfam Hanukkah AU where Wayne Manor is filled with menorahs and everyone eats latkes all week? Like

-Damian and Tim retro-fit their dreidels to see who can win the most gelt

-Bruce makes 17 different kinds of latkes and wears a moronic blue apron, covered in oil while Alfred looks on in horror

-Alfred secretly makes sufganiyot (donuts) so nobody has to eat burned, jalapeño/fire oil latkes

-Jason helps Tim and Damian light the menorahs because there’s a lot of candles on the 7th night and they might burn themselves

-Stephanie wins at dreidel anyway and keeps all the gelt for her and Cass

-Bruce brings out his mother’s menorah because that’s what he used to light with his parents.

-Bruce keeps up with the whole “eight small presents” tradition and everyone gets socks, a nice pen, a photo book, a scarf, some chocolate, some new batarangs, a sweater, and some headphones.

-There’s a Christmas tree for Alfred who absolutely loves decorating it. The Wayne children help out every year and always manage to tangle the lights and the tinsel.

Concept: every year alfred gets the batkids hero themed ugly holidays sweaters.. this year they got:

  • jason got nightwing (“were the matching gloves with blue stripes necessary??” “Of course master jason.”)
  • dick got red robin (“I don’t even have a cowl anymore alfred c'mon..” “i, for one, love the addition, shut it jimothy, thanks alf”)
  • damian got batgirl (he looks really cute on purple and black okay! even if he’s sulking because he wanted batman)
  • stephanie got robin (“look dami we got each other!!” “todd i demand you give me yours right now.”)
  • tim got oracle (“alfred this is just the symbo-oh god are these keyboard sleeves… this is awesome..”)
  • duke got batman (and had to fight damian off him to put it on, but it was super worth it okay, no one could stop him from making The Batman Voice™ )
  • barbara got black bat (“ow no cowl for me? shucks, i would have rocked the black bat cowl.”
  • cass got lark (“yellow really is your color cass, it doesnt even look that good on me damn..”)
  • and bruce got red hood (“thanks jason, but i dont need the guns to complete the costume, keep them. stop. stop showing me your mid-alfred why did you put the blue stripes on the middle fingers.. ”)