holdingon

Why should I feel like i’m hurting someones self esteem just by being me?

I know for one, that my friendship with her isn’t healthy at all, she’s actually hurt me in so many ways this past year i’ve lost count - it makes me wonder: why i still hold on, why am I still her best friend?

Obviously i’m causing her insecurity without even meaning to, so maybe i’m no good for her either. If i hurt her self esteem that bad just by being me, then maybe thats a sign that the friendship simply isn’t healthy. It can’t go on, yet i’m still holding on….because i’m grasping onto hope; the very hope that things will change.”

My thoughts on a friendship which is crumbling before my eyes. Jealousy is a curse.

—  via flourishingly
{ Holding On }

@xhitorabux from {x}

Masaomi knew he shouldn’t have picked up the phone. He should have ignored the call and taken a nap instead. But he answered anyway, wondering if somehow, Izaya knew what had happened. Of course he didn’t; he only needed Masaomi for a job. Even if he did, he doubted the informant would reach out to him. Who would know how to react in any way other than pity and discomfort?

Hoping to take his mind off of things, he accepted the job. Once finished, he hung out at Izaya’s apartment, acting as natural as he could before the silence got to him, forcing the memories to return. He excused himself to the bathroom and broke down, falling to his knees and hiding his face in his hands, doing his best to muffle the sobs.

The arms that suddenly wrapped around Masaomi surprised him. He initially flinched, then tried to squirm away, but the hold on him was tight, and he soon gave in, hugging Izaya tightly and sobbing into his shirt. The man’s embrace was comforting, safe, and he calmed down quickly, until he was only trembling and sniffling.

     “C-can I stay here tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”