“Panchito, as nice as it sounds, we cannot buy pets just for the fun of it. We need to make sure that we are prepared, or as Americans say, worthy enough to be pet owners” José stated as he was being dragged by Panchito to a nearby pet store.
“Nonsense amigo! Us two caballeros are ready for anything!” Panchito responded, confidence booming in his voice. José sighed as they finally entered the store. Barks from young pup echoed throughout the store. Along with the meowing of attention starved cats. Birds singing their own songs. And the clatter of all the other animals’ signature sounds. Panchito (for once) had to hold in a scream of joy as he ran around the store and pet every animal in his sight. He stopped in his tracks when he saw a small yorkshire terrier running around in its cage, chasing its own tail. Panchito gasped loudly (to the point that he had to lean against a wall to catch his breath) and pressed his face against the glass separating him from the small puppy.
“JOSÉ! WE MUST GET THIS ONE! ¡MIRA QUE LINDO ES EL!”
José, who was busy looking at the different breeds of parrots in the bird section of the store, looked back and soon enough walked over to him.
“What is it Panchi? That was quite the shout. I am sure that everyone all the way from Bahia must’ve heard you” José chuckled sweetly.
Panchito pointed at the small puppy the same way a small child would point to a toy that they want because of a commercial the saw on TV. “LOOK AT HIM!! ISN’T HE ADORABLE?!”
“Panchito for the last time. We are still not prepared to have a -” José found himself unable to finish his sentence as he stared at the puppy, who was staring right back at him. The staring contest between parrot and dog soon ended when José made his final decision, not breaking eye contact with the yorkshire terrier.
“Panchito, prepare your carteira. We are getting twelve of these”
so we have these cookie jars that sit on top of the cupboard right. we’ve had them for years. you can record yourself saying something so when you take the lid off you it will make a noise so you can hear if someone is stealing your cookies or something anyway anyway we have 3 of them. a pig, a cow, and an owl. now i was left alone one day. mum and dad at work, my brother at school and my sister at her boyfriends house. so i had a thought. what if i recorded myself screaming? so i did. in all 3 of them. all 3 different screams too. one was an excited shriek, one was a terrified scream, and one was a long shout. these cookie jars recorded up to 15 seconds, so i took FULL ADVANTAGE of that. now…here’s the thing…i did that almost 3 years ago. and these cookie jars have been sitting on top of the cupboard collecting dust.
mum’s painting the kitchen, so she had to take everything off the top of the cupboard. and uh…you know how battery powered things…start dying? they……slowly run out of juice? she asked me to check inside one of the jars. the pig, to be exact. and…the pig was the terrified scream. i unsuspectingly opened the jar and as the lid came off the jar, i remembered what i did. but i didn’t remember in time, because in that next second, a fucking demon cry sounded from this Almost Dead Battery Powered Pig Cookie Jar. it was a sound i never want to hear again. everyone ran into the kitchen to see what that god awful sound was and i just stood there, holding this satanic wailing pig. i shut my eyes, and waited the full 15 seconds, until it was silent, before turning to my mum and handed her the pig, and then leaving the kitchen.
i’ll admit i’ve done some dumb things in my life, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the sound i heard today.
i love women with that dominant sense of confidence, steel toed boots and sitting with their legs apart, their hands on the backs of their necks, self-assuredness in their eyes. i love women with broad shoulders and button-downs and that slightly cocky strut to their step, with slow smiles and dark eyes and rough hands, never afraid to make that bold move. i love women with that roughness about their outsides and a gentleness within, the kind of women who hold you and you feel the earth soften beneath your feet.