holding it inside

trans-party-boy  asked:

I recently came out as trans to my significant other, and they promptly dumped me. I knew they were transphobic, but i couldn't help but feel like they should've accepted me and loved me for who i am. Any advice?

I had to dump my ex because he refused to accept me for who I was when I came out numerous times (he wanted to stay with me, but wanted me to not transition)

My advice is: it’s okay to feel sad about it. It’s okay to grieve a lost relationship and think back on better times. It is equally important that you give yourself space and time to heal, and know that in the long run you will be better off. You will grow into the person you want to be. You may even find someone who will love you for who you are, not for who you have been forced to be. 

Realize that people can hold good inside them as well as bad, and it’s okay to miss them for the good times you remember. You don’t have to live with the bad though. How one person acts is not a reflection on you- it is on them.

It will suck, it will hurt, but you will come out of it. It will be okay, and you will be happier.

- Mod K

Illuminate (Winx Inspired)

A spell to bring light to a situation, best done before using divination.

You Will Need:

✴ 1 Yellow Candle
✴ 2 White Candles
✴ Citrine

Steps:

✴ Place your yellow candle before you and to either side of it place your white candles. Light them starting with the yellow candle then the white ones from left to right.

✴ Take your citrine in your dominate hand and hold it inside. Focusing on the light of you candles imagine them like lights leading you to the truth. Focus on your intent and desire to gain insight onto a situation

✴ Focus like this until you feel ready to begin whatever type of divination you plan on doing

✴ Blow out your candles and move your citrine through the smoke of the candles

✴ Keep the citrine in hand or near you while you divinate

8

lmao I forgot I made this so I finished it.
this was just a little inside joke I was discussing about sugar daddy Viktor being extra af

Mom, my depression is a shape shifter.
One day it is as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear,
The next, it’s the bear.
On those days I play dead until the bear leaves me alone.
I call the bad days: “the Dark Days.”
Mom says, “Try lighting candles.”
When I see a candle, I see the flesh of a church, the flicker of a flame,
Sparks of a memory younger than noon.
I am standing beside her open casket.
It is the moment I learn every person I ever come to know will someday die.
Besides Mom, I’m not afraid of the dark.
Perhaps, that’s part of the problem.
Mom says, “I thought the problem was that you can’t get out of bed.”
I can’t.
Anxiety holds me a hostage inside of my house, inside of my head.
Mom says, “Where did anxiety come from?”
Anxiety is the cousin visiting from out-of-town depression felt obligated to bring to the party.
Mom, I am the party.
Only I am a party I don’t want to be at.
Mom says, “Why don’t you try going to actual parties, see your friends?”
Sure, I make plans. I make plans but I don’t want to go.
I make plans because I know I should want to go. I know sometimes I would have wanted to go.
It’s just not that fun having fun when you don’t want to have fun, Mom.
You see, Mom, each night insomnia sweeps me up in his arms dips me in the kitchen in the small glow of the stove-light.
Insomnia has this romantic way of making the moon feel like perfect company.
Mom says, “Try counting sheep.”
But my mind can only count reasons to stay awake;
So I go for walks; but my stuttering kneecaps clank like silver spoons held in strong arms with loose wrists.
They ring in my ears like clumsy church bells reminding me I am sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness I cannot baptize myself in.
Mom says, “Happy is a decision.”
But my happy is as hollow as a pin pricked egg.
My happy is a high fever that will break.
Mom says I am so good at making something out of nothing and then flat-out asks me if I am afraid of dying.
No.
I am afraid of living.
Mom, I am lonely.
I think I learned that when Dad left how to turn the anger into lonely —
The lonely into busy;
So when I tell you, “I’ve been super busy lately,” I mean I’ve been falling asleep watching Sports Center on the couch
To avoid confronting the empty side of my bed.
But my depression always drags me back to my bed
Until my bones are the forgotten fossils of a skeleton sunken city,
My mouth a bone yard of teeth broken from biting down on themselves.
The hollow auditorium of my chest swoons with echoes of a heartbeat,
But I am a careless tourist here.
I will never truly know everywhere I have been.
Mom still doesn’t understand.
Mom! Can’t you see that neither can I?
—  “Explaining My Depression to My Mother: A Conversation” by Sabrina Benaim

I’m so close to tears
And so close to
Simply calling you up
I’m simply suggesting

We go to the hidden place 

Bjork - Hidden Place

You press your lips against mine and I call this acceptance,

But you kiss like regret,

Because the only name that’s getting gagged in your throat is hers

And the only one that misses you is mine.


When you hold me tight inside your palms,

Spill words never meant to be mine,

I feel distance between us

Because even when your hands cling to mine 

Your heart travels eternities as it suffers.


You press your lips against mine and I call this acceptance,

But you regret this decision,

You hold me like it’s all gone to be fixed,
I know she caused a little trouble,
Left you shattered in pieces,

I know you stick by me to make it,

But she is a mistake you never understood.


You kiss like regret,

feel sorrow for the lies you said,

and I’m your home when she is a mistake,

although, she is the one you love when I am your mistake.

—  inspired by @loveserum. Regret is what you live with. 12:40 pt1 of fake love.

Our group had just finished beating a small dungeon, and found a small elf who was trapped there and was going mad over a magical bracelet. Our two barbarians figured the best course of action was to tie up the elf, and walk him back to town.

DM: Okay, you make it back into the tavern.

Barbarian 1: Wait, I want to kick the door down.

DM: Alright, roll for Strength.

*rolls a natural 20*

DM: You kick the door off it’s hinges, and it flies across the tavern, hitting a sleeping dog and killing it

Barbarian 1: Oh god…

DM: Everyone looks over as you walk inside, holding a tied up, dirty looking, insane elf on a leash.

Barbarian 1: Uhh…. Hello everyone.

Barbarian 2: Hello!

DM: The group of elves and dwarves in the corner put their hands on their weapons

Our Elvish Cleric: *runs inside* Whoa, whoa there guys, their with me, it’s not a race thing

2

that green gentleman (things have changed for me) // panic! at the disco

3

Man, over a year later and I still have a lot of feelings about Chara and Asriel’s relationship. So much so, that I really wanted to make my own Monster Soul Locket so that I could make myself sad and cry. 

Inspired, I went out to Hobby Lobby today to soul-ly buy a heart locket and chain then modified it so it would be inverted and worn upside down. With some wire cutters and a bit of super glue, I finished this in about two hours, and I only spent about four and a half dollars~

Sorry for the crap quality in the last picture. It was hard enough getting the angle right that didn’t include too much of my face. AND YES, I DID TAPE A PIECE OF YELLOW CONSTRUCTION PAPER ONTO A GREEN SHIRT, THANK YOU FOR NOTICING.

oh my god but … imagine even right now, reading isak’s text, over and over and over again, like a prayer, a holy scripture, hanging onto it like a lifeline, seeing it as a form of a divine revelation.

imagine him smiling to the point of reaching tears. imagine his eyes crinkling, and oh god, him letting out a breath of relief he didn’t even know he was holding inside of him for so long.

imagine him putting the pieces together and realising what isak means: that isak still wants to be with even. signed sealed and delivered with a ❤.

that isak’s ready to listen, and he’s giving even FULL autonomy here as to when he’d like to.

imagine even realising this isn’t a “sonja trying to control me” situation, but an “isak willing to hear me” situation.

imagine this fuelling him with courage in making him step out of bed, tomorrow. maybe even come to school, tomorrow. maybe face the world again, tomorrow.

imagine even as he processes this and understands that “despite isak knowing about me, he … he accepts me?”

imagine even’s heart beating faster as he realises that just when he thought isak couldn’t surprise him anymore, isak does so, again. imagine even falling in love with isak all over again, this time, with nothing to hide.

imagine even believing that in this universe too, even and isak can be together.

imagine even bech næsheim, reading isak’s text, over and over and over again, and getting the love and acceptance he has always dreamt of, and finally getting it from a boy callled isak valtersen, on the 7th december 2016.

all i want from you is...
  • butterflies in my stomach.
  • morning-after breakfast.
  • hand holding.
  • netflix & cuddle.
  • inside jokes.
  • goodnight texts.
  • wake up calls.
  • your comfiest sweater. the one that smells like you.
  • bear hugs
  • your hands in my hair, on the small of my back, tickling my ribs.
  • pillow talk.
  • forehead&cheek&neck&mouth kisses.
  • a heart next to my contact name.
  • little love notes.
  • a date.
  • a best friend.
  • you.
Theliel

Jimin Imagine/Scenario

Genre: STRAIGHT UP FUCKING FLUFF EVERYWHERE BECAUSE I LOVE FLUFF OKAY (and because I read a Jimin angst that was not okay with me at all). IT’S A GODDAMN ANGEL AU AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH OMG I REALLY HOPE YOU GUYS LOVE IT TOO.

Blurb: What happens when a sweet and shy boy suddenly appears and seems to take over your world? What secrets does he hold inside and will you ever be able to uncover them? In this tale of love, the supernatural, and cute as hell moments, you can find out whether or not you and Jimin are destined to be together.

Word Count: 10,435

Reader x Jimin

Theliel: angel prince of love.

BTW, this imagine is dedicated to @joah-rangie because I LOVE YOU SO MUCH  💜🖤 Have fun reading this fluff filled post!

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