holding food

My favorite Shady/Illegal tips

*If you don’t have a stamp, reverse your destination and return addresses. The post office will deliver it to the return address for free

*One bag of garbage from a McDonald’s dumpster has hundreds of receipts in it, each of which has a survey. Submit each one for lots of free food

*Holding a cell phone to your ear justifies loitering. This aids in public urination, dumpster diving, stalking, trespassing, etc

*If you’re going to plagiarize, plagiarize something in a foreign language. Use a translator and spend a few minutes touching up the results.

*If they have free refills, save your cup. Next time you eat there, your drink is free.

*A plastic coffee stir stick can fool any push in coin acceptor that loads the coins on edge. Just insert stir stick, push the mechanism forward until you feel the stick hit a bump, push the bump down with the stick and push the mech all the way in

*If you look like you know what you’re doing, no one will bother you.

*When lying, always include something slightly embarrassing, or something that makes you look bad, as part of your story. It’s not only going to disarm their skepticism (admitting to something embarrassing gives an impression of humility), but even if they remain skeptical, they’ll be left wondering why you would make something up that you’d rather keep secret if it were true

*Using Clorox or any bleach will turn the red/pink liquid detection dot on electronic devices back to white so they replace them under warranty

* “A drug dealer in DC taught me to pick my nose if the police are staring at me. No one picks their nose if they think someone is watching them, so it’s the ultimate way of being nonchalant.”

* "I learned that you can get into almost any special event by wearing a chef coat. Even just carrying one and walking like you know where you’re going will work every time. Most people don’t want to look stupid by asking you who you are.“ 

* "My go to missing work call was never "I’m sick”, it was “Family problems”. They never questioned it, it’s vague enough and embarrassing enough that nobody ever asks.“ 

*As part of the employee training at Target, they teach you that if a customer argues over a price, and the full price is under $20, to just give it to them for whatever price they claim. It’s cheaper for the company to move on to the next customer than to call in a price check.

*Put a rolled up sock in the change slot on a vending machine, come back back 4 days later….and pull sock….you will be 6-ish dollars richer.

*If it’s a small lie, like who farted or who put the empty milk carton in the fridge, I’ll tell a terrible lie. I’ll not be able to hold a straight face, contradict myself, basically suck at lying.Now everyone I know thinks I can’t tell a lie to save my life. So when I really need a big lie, I nail it every time. No one ever suspects me when I lie straight faced.

*Bring crutches to an airport. Bypass every line (including boarding) and you are chauffeured to your gate the second you pass through security.

*Make up a secret to share with someone- they may open up and share far more valuable real secrets.

*Here’s a classic. Drive over to your 7/11 of choice. Fill up a Slurpee and drop some candy bars in that bitch. Make sure the candy bars aren’t showing. Cover the Slurpee and pay for it. Free Snickers bitch.

*I tell everyone i’ve never done any drugs. Suddenly everyone offers me cocaine, ecstasy, pot, lsd. I think i’ve had $200 worth of drugs each weekend for free.Same with liquor. "Im not drinking tonight” BOOM! Everyone gives me booze. Its like everyone wants to break your integrity as soon as you tell them you are not doing whatever they are doing.

*If you need to cash from an ATM and its not a large amount, buy a 5 cent piece of gum from a gas station that has the cash back option. Its cheaper than a $3 charge

*Act less intelligent than you really are. Acting stupid can get you out of some tricky situations. Feigning ignorance is way better than admitting you knew better but did it anyway. My old man used to say ‘It is easier to beg forgiveness than ask for permission’…sometimes it’s true.

*Every time I fly, when I land I’ll pen a little complaint to the airline that flew me. You know, I’ll come up with something like “oh, they denied me a drink! Oh, the food wasn’t vegetarian!” Whatever miscellaneous hogwash potpourri comes to my crazy brain. And like clockwork, within a business day, they’re reimbursing me with a $50 voucher, a $100 voucher, I can sell that on the secondary market.

*I’ve always had a lot of success in shutting nosy people up by blaming any personal issue on allergies. Crying from a panic attack? Allergies giving me puffy eyes. What’s that mysterious pill I’m taking? Allergy meds. Why am I acting spaced out/hungover/tired? Allergies meds making me drowsy.

*If you really wanna get away with some shit, buy a reflective vest, a white hard hat, and a clipboard. You can go ANYWHERE.

Sick

Tony has created a chatroom.

Tony has invited Bruce.

Tony: I heard a SNEEZE.

Bruce: Riveting information.

Tony: You know what this means?!

Bruce: Someone received Thor’s blessings?

Tony: SOMEONE IS SICK.

Tony: We need to find them and quarantine them. I will not have the Avengers benched just because they can’t breathe through both nostrils.

Bruce: snot…

Tony: what

Bruce: snot so bad

Tony has left the chat.

Y/N has joined the chat.

Y/N: it has begun …

Bruce: what?

Y/N: MY DESCENT INTO AGONY

Bruce: Did you finish your favorite book?

Y/N: I have a cold.

Tony has joined the chat.

Tony: So it’s you!

Y/N: Give me a hug, Tony.

Tony: No!

Y/N: Where is he, Bruce?

Bruce: Lab, as always.

Tony: STAY BACK!

Y/N: WE’RE ALL IN THIS SUFFERING TOGETHER!

Tony has been disconnected.

Y/N: Seeing Tony trip made me feel a lot better.

Thor has joined the chat.

Thor: I HAVE JUST SENSED A CHANGE IN YOUR HEALTH. IT APPEARS YOU HAVE A COLD. FEAR NOT, I, THOR, SON OF ODIN, SHALL SAVE YOU!

Keep reading

I'm On My Knee

Hi babes! This is a marshmallow-soft story about the reader and Tom having a special inside joke. That inside joke being Tom dramatically falling down onto one knee to tease her after she accidentally tells him that it’s always been how she wants to get proposed to. The inside joke makes the both of them think a lot about their future and cuteness ensues! I hope that you like it!

Side note: The film was everything I wanted it to be and more? It owns my entire heart? The cast did so well and I’m so happy for all of them and my heart is just overflowing with love and I’m going to see the film again tomorrow!

I’m On My Knee

“He makes me want to wear a white dress and walk down the aisle.” She murmured to her boyfriend, utterly and completely inebriated. “I want to learn how to cook so he can always come home to a hot meal. He makes me want to learn more so that I’ll always have new things to talk to him about, and he makes me want to take care of myself so that I can look good for him. I wanna read every book on the planet earth and watch every film, just so I have stories to tell him before we go to sleep. But, mostly, he makes me wanna wear a white dress and walk down the aisle.”

    Tom smiled, securing a strong arm around her waist before she had the opportunity to slip from the barstool she was trying to twirl on. Holding her still, he questioned, “anything else you want, darling?”

    Lurching forward, she twined her arms around his neck and moved to perch on his knee. She shoved her face into Tom’s neck and breathed in deeply, dragging her hands across the expanse of her boyfriend’s chest. He smelled of french cologne, the fabric of his shirt felt soft beneath her cheek, and she was so close to him that she could count the beats of his heart. “I love you.”

    Supporting her frame, Tom kissed the top of her head, “I love you more.” She sighed into his chest and Tom helped her to her feet, making sure that he still had her locked in his arms. “Let’s get you home now, drunky.”

“I want him on his knee like in the old films,” she added before she allowed Tom to guide her to their parked car.

    Truly, Tom felt the same way about her, but there was no way that he wouldn’t tease her about her intoxicated confession every chance he got. He’d been dreaming about how beautiful she’d look walking down the aisle to meet him since their third date and it comforted him that she seemed to feel the same way.

    She knew that she had majorly screwed up the next morning when Tom dropped down onto one knee, offering her a bottle of advil and a glass of water to soothe the pounding in her head that refused to be ignored.

    “On my knee, baby, just how you wanted!” Tom smiled, his curls flopping down in his eyes in the most endearing of ways. She hated that he looked so cute while he was so successfully embarrassing her.

    Groaning, she brought her hands up to cover her face, “Tom, stop! I told you that I was just drunk. Let it go!” She pleaded, blush spreading as far as the tips of her ears.

    Her boyfriend feigned hurt feelings, “well, if you were truly joking, guess I’m out of here. Gotta go get me a girl who’s in it for the long haul.” Tom joked as he moved to walk out the door.

    “Tom,” she whined before rushing forward to keep him in place with a hug. “Stop being so dumb and help me make pancakes. You flip them better than I do.”

    Smiling down at her, Tom took of her hands within his own and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, “One day, I’ll be way more than just your boyfriend who flips pancakes better than you do. One day, I’ll be your husband who flips pancakes better than you do.” Tom laughed, picking her up to spin her around the kitchen.

    She was happy that Tom was focused on not dropping her or running into anything because she was even pinker than she’d thought previously possible and she was positive that the smile on her face was so huge that her face would crack into halves. It didn’t matter that she didn’t have the greatest job, it didn’t matter that she was absolute shit at math, in fact, she couldn’t think of anything that mattered to her more than what Tom had just said. He was planning on a future with her and she was so elated that she spent the entire rest of her week floating from place to place on a bed made of cotton candy clouds.

    The next time Tom dropped to one knee for her, it was in the flower shop while she was sifting through bins of tulip bouquets for their friend’s dinner party. “Because I love you,” Tom said, holding out a bundle of daisies.

    Rolling her eyes, she took the flowers and bent forward to kiss Tom tenderly on the mouth. “Because I love you,” she repeated back to him before taking both bouquets to the register while Tom struggled to free his wallet before she could pay for her daisies.

    The time after that, Tom fell to one knee when she had come home with smudged mascara and tears dripping from the corners of her eyes. Hurrying off the couch, he dropped to one knee in front of her, pulling her to perch softly onto his popped knee. “What’s the matter darling?”

    Shrugging her shoulders, her lower lip trembled and she merely hid her face in Tom’s neck.  Stroking her hair and mumbling the words to ‘Moon River’ into her ears, Tom waited for her to tell him what was upsetting her. He did his best to search his mind for anything he could’ve done, anything her friend’s could’ve done, anything at home that could have upset her and came back with nothing. Tom briefly had a fleeting feeling that he was failing as her husband until it clicked in his brain that he hadn’t ever gotten down on one knee before her to present her with an actual ring.

    That night, while she snuggled into the crook of his arm, her face hidden so close to his neck that Tom could feel her lips press into his skin, he looked up some photos of rings. Each time Tom found a particularly nice ring, he’d zoom in and envision it on her lovely hands. Looking down at her hand that was loosely curled around his waist, he murmured to her sleeping form, “nobody, not even the rain,has such small hands.” His girl had been on an E.E. Cummings kick and clearly the poetry she read aloud to him had rubbed off on Tom.

    Placing his phone back into it’s charging station on their nightable, Tom laid down and  made sure to lace his fingers through her own before he shut eyes to sleep, agreeing with E. E. Cummings  that nobody had such small hands. Such small hands that a glittering ring would only compliment.

    The next weekend, as she and Tom strolled through the supermarket to grab some fresh vegetables and fruit, and maybe a loaf of bread to go along with dinner, Tom spotted the baked goods aisle. Getting completely sidetracked, Tom stood staring at the pastries while she carried on in search of the produce section. Glancing at her retreating figure and then back at the deserts, Tom grabbed an armful of cookies, cinnamon rolls and cupcakes before hurrying after her.

    Her eyes widened when she saw her boyfriend nearly skipping towards her, arms overflowing with pastries. “Tom,” she started, cocking her hip and raising her brows, “that is ridiculous. Pick one thing, we already have too many snacks as it is!”

    “No, no, darling, you don’t get it. We’d leave the cinnamon rolls for breakfast, and we could eat the cookies as a snack, and then the cupcakes could be after dinner.” Tom tried to ration.

    “Tom, I’ll eat them all and then get bigger and you know I’m trying to look good this summer!” She whined, shaking her head and silently pleading for Tom to at least put one of the items he was holding back.

    Shuffling the food around in his arms, Tom attempted to clutch all the food with only one hand. Gently moving her hair away from her eyes, Tom kissed her temple. “Darling, you know that you’re perfect. There’s nothing wrong with how you look, and nothing would be wrong with how you look even if you decided to inhale the entire pastry department on your own. I love the way you think, how kind you are to others, and you’re one of the smartest and least arrogant people that I know! I love you for your heart, and your brain. I thank the universe every night for your lungs and your kidneys, because they make you. You’re sweet-ass body just happens a perk of loving you.”

    Tom kissed her one last time before dropping down onto one knee before her, “c’mon angel, please?” He asked one last time.

    Rolling her eyes at her boyfriend’s cheesiness, she placed the cupcakes and the cinnamon rolls in her basket before leading Tom over to the fruit and asking him to pick out the crunchiest apples for their salad.

    When Tom fell to one knee again, it was after she had gone shopping with her friends and was currently modeling her new purchases at his request. She had exited the bathroom in which she was changing in, wearing an extremely short, white dress that left very little, if anything to Tom’s imagination. The dress was littered with small, red roses and had straps that were tied into a bow. As she twirled for him, Tom could see that the straps were the only thing holding her new dress together and by the time that she’d stopped her spinning, Tom was on one knee.

    “Should I take this off myself or do you wanna get up off the floor and help me?” She giggled, toying with the bow sitting atop her shoulder blade.

    As Tom carefully untied her dress and watched it fall to the ground, he muttered, “pretty ring would go nice with the roses.”

    She could barely hear what Tom had said, let alone comprehend it, as he began to pepper her exposed body with warm kisses. Stuttering out an barely audible, “uh-huh,” as Tom mouthed over the sensitive spot she had just beneath her ear.

    As time went on, “I’m on my knee,” became a phrase that she would hear from Tom almost as frequently as he said “I love you.” He’d drop to his knee in public, private, essentially everywhere they went. She was nearly convinced that Tom on his knee wouldn’t ever mean anything other than their inside joke, but little did she know how Tom feeling.

    Each time he dropped down onto one knee before her, it always made him long to obtain a ring to present her with. Considering that he was on his knee for her essentially everyday now, so much so that even the press was completely desensitized to photos of Tom on his knee before his girl, he was legitimately out and about looking for rings.

    He’d recruited his mother to assist with the search, begged Harrison, Jacob, his brothers, his father, and even her mother to help him with the search, but none of them could find a ring that Tom felt was worthy of her hands. Each time someone would send him a photo of a ring that left Tom dissatisfied, which was often, he’d simply send back the verse from ‘Somewhere I Have Never Traveled, Gladly Beyond,’ regarding the smallest of hands. At this point, nobody was sure what he meant. Once Harrison had tried to clarify what exactly the rain having tiny hands had to do with the ring search, but he came back describing a look of genuine craziness in his best mate’s eyes and decided to drop it.

    It was only after Tom had wandering into an antique shop with his mother that he found something perfect for her. The wedding ring was vintage and even came with an engagement ring, and after Tom had spent countless hours on the weekend thrifting and wandering in an out of hidden gem shops with his girl, he knew that she’d love it.

    Tom could only hide the ring for about a week. He was utter and complete shit at hiding things, especially from her, and the ring felt as if it was burning a hole through his pocket. He couldn’t wait to let the whole world know that she was going to his forever and he’d be hers for just as long. Tom just needed to create the perfect moment.

    Luckily for him, the perfect moment came the very next morning. Tom trailed behind her, kissing the back of her neck softly as she laughed and threaded her fingers up through his curls. They were deep within the poetry section of the most massive library Tom had ever seen and when she reached up to grab a novel, Tom felt as if the wind got knocked out of him. In her hands sat a copy of E. E. Cummings collected poems and while she sifted through the pages, Tom prayed inwardly to the universe for her to read the poem that he knew was destined to be hers.

    Not allowing her time to chose a poem, Tom dropped down to one knee while her back was still turned on him. Digging the ring out from the confines of his pocket, he could only get the last few lines of the poem out. “I do not know what it is about you that closes and opens; only something in me understands the voice in your eyes is deeper than all roses.”

    As Tom neared the end of the poem, she turned and opened her mouth to say the last verse with him. “Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.” She smiled, completely prepared to meet Tom’s eyes as she finally faced him.

    At first, the only thing her mind could register was that her boyfriend was on his knee, as always. It took her a second to take in the ring that glittered off of the library’s bright ceiling chandelier. Pressing a hand over her lips, she struggled to breath, her small hands gripping the open poetry book in her hands. “Do you mean it, Tom?” She questioned, her eyes flicking down to the ring he was presenting her with.

    His eyes were glassy in the light, and Tom smiled, “course I do, darling. I’m on my knee after all.”


Nerds 1.0 || Peter Parker AU

Prompt - AU where Peter is a high school AP Physics teacher and Y/N is the Anatomy teacher and all their students ship them but they’re too awkward to notice the other one crushing on them, so the students take it into their own hands.

Warning - some vulgar language. extreme cuteness. teen!Avengers  :)))

A/N: btw the narration in this fic might seem a little salty, but that’s only cause I’m really salty right now about some stuff. 

not my gifs

Originally posted by arachnidiot

“Can you overgrown children give me like five minutes of peace?” She tells her overbearing students, they groan. 

“But mom!” Her most annoying student shouted, she rolls her eyes at the boy. Her students had made a habit of calling her mom and it was by far very annoying. 

“Tony, you call me mom one more damn time-”

“Ooh! She said damn, that’s a bad word!” Another one of her troublemaking students shouted from the back of the class. 

“If it’s a bad word, then why would you say it, Barnes?” She retorted, the boy deflated and sat back down. His boyfriend, Steve, laughing and trying to comfort him as his classmates laughed. 

“You guys are high school seniors. I did not sign up to be a teacher to babysit a bunch of five year olds,” she complained, everyone in the class knew she was joking. She was just as rowdy and annoying as they were, it’s why this particular class was her favorite. 

“Come on, Ms. Y/L/N, you know you love us,” Natasha, a troublemaking redhead sitting with her feet up on the desk, said with a barely noticeable smirk on her face. 

“No you’re wrong. You’re all terrible and I hate you,” Y/N lied as she took a sip from her cup of coffee that sat on top of a pile of papers. 

“YOU LOVE US!” Screamed Tony and Clint at the same time, jumping up from their seats and running up to her desk to hug her. 

She couldn’t hide her smile then. Sure they were all extremely annoying and loud, but then again so was she.  

“Actually no. You know who she does love?” Natasha starts, a smirk rising on her face. 

The whole class quiets for a few seconds before they all yell out. 

“MR. PARKER!” 

A red blush rises on Y/N’s cheeks at the mention of the AP Physics and Calculus teacher, Peter Parker. She tried to deny it every single time, but her students knew better. 

“Oh come on guys, not this again!” She whines, and throws her head in an exaggerated exasperated groan. 

Ever since Peter had been hired as the new Physics teacher, the students almost immediately began ‘shipping’ them together. The two of them had became close friends in the blink of an eye seeing as they were both huge science nerds, their students saw this. Continuously teasing the both of them about their crushes. Both of them trying their best to deny, but neither of them could lie well enough to a bunch of teenagers who knew and understood the signs of a crush. 

 “We will bring this up as many times as we can until you guys realize that there’s some major amor going on,” Sam says from the far right row of the class, chewing on his mechanical pencil as he not so discreetly tried to finish his Spanish homework before the bell rang. 

The class agreed with him. 

“Alright fine, we’ll play it like that. How about I bring up the topic of your grades?” She laughs as the majority of the class starts to beg her not to continue.

“That’s what I thought!” She shouts, laughing loudly at the defeated faces of her students.

For the remainder of the class they reviewed the cardiovascular system for the test they were going to have next class. 

The bell rings and the bustling students jumped around in excitement for lunch, “Bye Ms. Y/L/N!” they all shouted. 

“Get out! Go to lunch!” She jokingly yells, they laugh and push each other out of the classroom. 

Y/N smiles to herself and begins to grade papers from another class. 

“Ms. Y/L/N?” She hears a voice say, she looks up and turns her head to see the only freshman student in her class full of seniors. 

“Wanda, what are you still doing here? You should be at lunch,” she says in a concerned tone. 

“I know but I have a test in European History that I have to study for, and I wanted to ask something of you,” she explains. 

“Oh that’s right, I forgot, you have all senior classes. What can I help you with?” 

“Could I get some extra credit or something to raise up my grade? I have a college interview in a few days and they’ll be looking at my grades,” the girl asks, clutching her history textbook in her hands. 

“Wanda, you already have an A in this class…” 

“Yeah, I know but it’s a 99% because of that B that I got on the quiz about the systemic and pulmonary circuits, I was distracted that day,” she wasn’t directly saying it but she was begging for another chance, and Y/N didn’t need any more pressing from her pleading student. 

“Do you want to retake the quiz? I doubt you’ll get another B,” she offers, Wanda’s eyes light up. 

“Yes please!” Y/N chuckles at the young girl's’ enthusiasm and rummages through some folders for an empty sheet of the specific quiz. 

She finds it and hands it to Wanda who hurriedly grabs it and sits at the nearest desk. Wanda finishes the quiz in minutes before finally scribbling her name and class period on top. Y/N grades her paper in front of her, and to no one’s surprise, she got a perfect 100. 

“Oh my god, what a surprise…” Y/N mumbles, Wanda giggles to herself. 

The door opens and the two women turn to look at the door. 

There Mr. Parker stood at the doorway holding a bag of food that smelled strongly of New York takeout, he saw Wanda standing in front of Y/N’s desk and blushed. 

“Should I come back or…?” He trails off. 

“No need Mr. Parker, I was just leaving. Thanks Ms. Y/L/N!” Wanda says as she begins to walk to the door. 

Peter walks into the room and sets the food down on the desk. Y/N looks behind Peter to see Wanda giving her an enthusiastic thumbs up, then pointing at both Y/N and Peter and making a heart with her fingers. Y/N got up and removed her sneaker before chucking it at the girl, Wanda dodged it and quickly left the class. 

Her unmistakable laughter bouncing off the walls of the hallway. 

Y/N sat back down to see Peter looking at her weirdly. “What was that about?” He asked opening the container of takeout food, Y/N blushed immensely. 

“Oh, nothing.”

Wanda runs into the lunchroom in search of her friends, the seniors. 

They sat in their usual table, eating away at the chicken wings that were being served today. 

“Guys! Guys!” She shouts as she nears the table, they turn their heads to look at their freshman friend. 

“What’s up?”

“Ms. Y/L/N and Mr. Parker are in her class right now eating lunch together! He bought her food!” She yells excitedly, the table gasps. 

“Seriously?!” Natasha exclaims. 

“Dead serious.”

“We’re gonna go spy on them, right?” Clint asks, licking the ketchup off his fingers and wiping his hands on his pants. 

“Hell yeah.”

They all snuck out of the lunchroom without getting caught and made their way to Ms. Y/L/N’s classroom. The door had a little rectangular window for them to see through, it wasn’t big enough for all of them but luckily Clint had special access to the school’s air ducts. 

Especially the one in Ms. Y/LN’s classroom. 

He unlocked his phone and FaceTimed Natasha and pointed the camera at the future couple. Outside of the classroom, the group crowded around Natasha and her phone. They all quieted down and watched the two awkwardest and nerdiest people in the world attempt to have a conversation without mentioning science and or Star Wars. 

Both of them failing miserably. 

They had somehow gotten into an incredibly deep conversation about Star Wars conspiracy theories. 

“Oh my god, these fucking nerds!” Tony whispers, the rest of the group agrees. 

“We gotta do something or they’re gonna spiral into a never ending conversation about Darth motherfucking Vader,” Steve says, Bucky nods agreeing with his hunky beefcake. 

“Yeah, someone text Barnes and tell him to do something about this…whatever this is,” Bucky says waving his hand for emphasis.

Tony quickly pulls out his phone, his thumbs running over the screen in a blur. A few seconds later, his eyes read a message on the screen. 

“He wrote, ‘On it ;)’.”

They all began to silently think of what Clint had in store for their two favorite teachers. 

In the air duct, Clint quietly pulled two small rocks from his pocket. He had been planning on throwing them at some kid who messed with him earlier but this was more important. 

The air duct he was hiding in was directly above Y/N’s desk but both her and Peter were facing away from him so this was the perfect opportunity. 

“So I wanted to ask you something and excuse me if it makes you uncomfortable, but…do your students say anything about us…you know– uh, liking each other?” Peter asks, Y/N almost chokes on her teriyaki chicken but hides it with a strong cough. 

“Ehh sometimes, why do you ask?” She lies straight through her teeth and hides her blush by looking down at her lap. 

“Well, because-uh they’re always telling me that you…have a crush on me, and that apparently it’s pretty obvious…” 

Her hands were now numb and she wanted to disintegrate into thin air. 

No shit, you fucking idiot,’ she thought. 

“Uhh well, I-I wouldn’t say obvious b-but, I mean-” she couldn’t think of anything to say and now she really wanted to die. 

Clint couldn’t watch his favorite teacher suffer anymore so he slowly and quietly opens the air duct by removing the detachable air grille. 

He throws the first rock at the door, the two teachers turn to the door thinking that someone had knocked. Y/N stands up to open the door, she looks through the little window but when she sees no one she turns back. 

Then, Clint throws the second rock right into Peter’s shirt causing him to stand up and spill chicken fried rice covered in soy sauce all down Y/N’s t-shirt. 

“Oh shit, fuck! I’m sorry!” He exclaimed trying to apologize. 

He grabbed a few napkins and tried to wipe off the soy sauce stains but only making it worse.

“No, i-it’s fine it-” 

“I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t mean-”

Both were too flustered to let one another finish their sentence. By now Peter wasn’t wiping anything except for her chest, it took a few seconds for both of them to notice exactly what he was touching. 

The blushing idiots finally decided to pull away from each other, and chuckle nervously at their current situation. 

“Come on, come on.” Natasha mumbles under her breath as her and the group continue to watch from her phone. 

Y/N and Peter were now pretending that the whole thing didn’t happen but the stain on Y/N’s light gray shirt said otherwise. Finally, the two of them mustered up enough confidence to actually say something intelligent. 

“Would you like to go out sometime?” They asked simultaneously. 

They both chuckle nervously, “I know it’s not the best time to ask, but…I-I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while and I just didn’t know if you…”

She smiles, “Well I do, and I’d love to go out with you.”

At that moment, the group started cheering completely forgetting that the hallway echoed. 

“Yes OTP!” Sam shouts, almost immediately slapping his hand over his mouth. 

“What the hell?” Y/N mumbles and walks over to the door, seeing their teachers walk toward them the entire group got up and hauled ass back to the lunchroom, the sound of shoes squeaking and stomping on the floor along with the loud swears coming from the teenagers themselves could be heard from inside the classroom. 

Clint watching them run on his phone cursed out loud, “Shit!” he said, his eyes widened. 

Both Peter and Y/N turned to the vent, “Wha-Clint!” Y/N yelled when she realized what was happening. 

There was no point in being quiet now, Clint shimmied down the vent before his teacher crawled in after him. 

Peter and Y/N stood there helpless. 

“I’m gonna kill them.”

“Meddling kids.”

Originally posted by daftprodigy

BONUS:

The next day when the matchmakers walked into Calculus, a class that Peter taught, they all sat next to each other. Being the only people in the school that knew that the two teachers that everyone has been shipping were finally together had its advantages. They’ve been trading test answers for gossip all morning. 

The school was bustling with the news. 

Y/N Y/L/N and Peter Parker were finally together. 

Even Principal Fury and Assistant Principal Hill were excited about it. 

When Peter sees them sitting innocently in their seats, he turns to them. 

“I don’t know whether to say thank you or goodbye, she was pretty angry.”

“Ah, she’ll get over it once you give her that good nerd loving,” Sam jokes, Peter blushes and a tries to hide a very noticeable smile.

“Ew dude, that’s our mom you’re talking about,” Tony says.

Clint perks up.

“Speaking of mom, we’re not calling you dad.”

.

.

.

A/N: I had way too much fun with this. This was mostly about the teen!Avengers, but honestly I live for that AU. 

• MESSAGE ME IF YOU WANT A PART TWO
What Video Games Taught Me Better than School or Parents Ever Could

If you are facing new challenges/obstacles, then you’re going the right way.

No one blames you if you have to check the map.

Always come prepared.

Everyone is worth talking to.

Even if you don’t get money for something, you always get experience.

Explore!

The places that are hardest to get to always have the best rewards.

The best way to become someone’s friend is to actually talk to them.

If you want to be someone’s friend faster, also give them food.

Don’t hold on to too much crap, you’ll fill up your inventory.

Don’t be deterred if a challenge was too much for you; go back, level up, increase your skill, and try again.

You don’t learn anything if you get someone else to do it for you.

Don’t feel like you have to plow through the main story. The best content is sometimes in the side quests.

If you’ve tried and failed 30 times, you probably missed something. Go back and look around.

Never judge someone’s skill solely on their achievements; you don’t know how they got them.

When you succeed after multiple failures, you feel so much more accomplished.

Take full advantage of character customization.

Decisions rarely only affect you. Please choose wisely.

Best of Friends

Originally posted by spdrparker

Series: Tom Holland Imagines

Relationship: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: SEX BABYYYYYYYYYYYY, aKA SMUT SO IF U HAVE A PROBLEM DNT READ

Word Count: 3,500

A/N: BROUGHT TO YOU BY RUM AND MANGO JUICE

Request from @thomas-stanleyholland : Tom and the Reader are Best friends. They have a sleepover and have an intense makeup session in his bed, maybe some smut and fluff?

HECK YES TO SMUT AND FLUFF :,)

I’ll revise for any mistakes in the morning, I’m exhausted xx


[Reader’s POV]


   Your flight just landed at the London City Airport. The captain explaining that we’re pulling up to the gate. People around you were getting restless to get off. You of course were still waking up from the nap you took.


   Pulling out your phone you open the camera. Flipping the screen you see your reflection. Sighing in relief that nothing was out of place. Turning your head to the side you check  you winged eyeliner. Thanking the makeup gods the liner or your fake lashes you have on didn’t get fucked up.


  Feeling your phone vibrate you exit the camera app. A message from your best friend pops up. A smile on your face when you read it. Standing up once you see people emptying the seats in front of you. Reaching above you grab your suitcase with your backpack slung over your shoulder. Carrying the suitcase you lift it sideways to head down the narrow aisle.


   Someone pushes past you making you stumble a bit.  You huff out in frustration glaring at the back of the person. Readjusting your purse you make your way down the hall of the gate.  Your suitcase making sounds as it rolled and bumped over the bumps in the gate flooring.


   Walking over towards the bathroom you walk in and head towards a bigger mirror. Fixing your beanie that was on your head. It was your best friend’s beanie he gave you before he had to fly to the states for work.  Reapplying a coat of maroon lipstick  to your faded lips you leave feeling a little better.


   Looking at the  signs you see which way to turn for the baggage claim.  The escalator taking you down to the lower level. Stepping forward when you reach the end, you head towards a hooded figure. The sign said your name and beside the figure was your bag. He looks up from his phone, glasses shielding his eyes. A smile giving him way completely.

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Character Quirks

 Peter Maximoff

-Can’t sit still

-Constantly has ear buds in, even when there isn’t music playing

-Cracks his knuckles all the time

-Laughs at his own jokes

-Humming, all the time

Originally posted by walxx

Kurt Wagner

-Doesn’t understand personal space

-Over salts/seasons his food

-Loves holding hands

-Is jumpy and anxious 

-Talks through movies

Originally posted by protectbuckybarnesatallcosts

Hank Mccoy

-Yawns loudly 

-Squints a lot

-Looses important things, like his glasses

-Gets excited about everything

-Calls rather than texts

-Always matches his socks

Originally posted by markinganx

Peter Parker (Tom Holland)

-Talks in his sleep

-Over shares everything that happens to him

-Needs reassurance

-Is horrible at naming movies, places, people, ect. refers to them generally and expects you to know what he’s talking about

-Is a horrible liar 

-Refuses to hurt any animal, even insects

Originally posted by peterparkerimagine

Bucky Barnes

-Is somehow never cold, AKA you always get his jacket

-Hands often clenched in fists without him realizing it

-Walks with long strides

-Reads every night

-Doesn’t understand Slang

Originally posted by bovaria

Barry Allen

-Always smiling

-Never takes anything too seriously 

-Talks too quickly

-Licks his lips a lot

-Buys you flowers to make up for every mistake

Originally posted by gurdyroots

Steve Rogers

-Stands with his hands behind his back

-Rarely curses

-Doodles a lot

-Gets excited about references to old things

-Always knows how to get places

Originally posted by james-nat

Erik Lehnsherr

-Sometimes speaks in broken german 

-Uses his eyebrows when speaking (raising them, furrowing them, ect.)

-Never sleeps in, meaning breakfast in bed for you

-Prefers listening 

-Is great at card games

Charles Xavier 

-Has an impressive vocabulary 

-Answers his own questions 

-Knows a lot of useless facts

-Constantly quotes things 

-Loves bad jokes and always laughs at them

Originally posted by pr0paganda

4

🌸Jaebum Snaps: When You Have Severe Cramps And He Can’t Be There🌸

Requested By: @absolutely-daisy


||Requests Are Open||

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kittyichooseyou  asked:

I have a klk question, and I apologize if you've answered it before, but, do you find any significance in Ryuko taking a big bite out of an unpeeled lemon in her introduction? Like, was it just meant to make her seem hard? Or like, does it have some subtext I don't understand? Is she ever seen eating lemon/drinking lemonade as a background thing? I've always wondered about this. Thanks.

I gotta be honest with you: I’m atrocious at talking about symbolism. There’s a reason that my hundreds of essays hardly ever mention it. 

So… I haven’t especially covered this before, but I can provide some Thoughts.

First and foremost, the lemon scene has been largely understood as a homage to FLCL, a coming-of-age anime worked on by Gainax—the studio that Hiroyuki Imaishi and Masahiko Otsuka left to found Studio Trigger, which is the team behind Kill la Kill

In the first episode of FLCL, Naota, the protagonist, refuses to drink the rest of the sour, “Lemon Squash” pop that his friend Mamimi didn’t finish. He claims that he “[doesn’t] like sour drinks” and proceeds to toss the can aside.

However, at the end of the episode, Mamimi offers Naota the sour pop again, and his reaction changes. While he repeats his sentiment—“I told you, I don’t like sour stuff”—Naota doesn’t toss the can aside this time, instead guzzling the drink down.

So, when Ryuko, the protagonist of Kill la Kill, begins the first episode of her show not just forcing herself to consume something sour, but does so purposefully, without flinching… there’s probably something there. Kill la Kill’s director Imaishi did work extensively on FLCL, after all.

But what exactly is meant to be conveyed in either series is entirely dependent on how the “sour” symbol is understood.

On the one hand, the “sourness” could be a symbol of “first love.” For Naota to accept the drink in FLCL would be to accept an “indirect kiss” from Mamimi, who had been drinking from the can previously. The “first love” idea seems supported in Kill la Kill, with Ryuko noting, after Mataro steals her lemon (at least in the original Japanese script), “You’re that eager to learn what first love tastes like?”

Mataro: Bitch, don’t try to be all witty! I’ve had my first kiss!

And with the idea of “first love” comes the idea of childishness. Though it may have some… Unfortunate Implications, in both FLCL and Kill la Kill, it could be said that getting into a first romantic relationship is a sign of growing up. The fact that Naota initially refuses to taste “first love” represents his initial refusal to come of age—and the fact that Mataro in Kill la Kill insists that he has had his first kiss (or “get[s] way more action than [Ryuko]!” in the dub) represents his desire to seem “grown-up” and experienced.

Ryuko’s utterly blase eating of the lemon would then also imply that she has had romantic relationship(s) in the past and is not afraid of them.

However, with all of this, the “sourness” could simply be a larger metaphor: a metaphor of adulthood, maturity, that kind of stuff. Naota deciding to take in the sourness at the end of the first opening episode signifies that his show is going to feature his coming of age—something he initially didn’t want anything to do with, but that the story is going to push him to experience regardless. Ryuko immediately biting into a lemon could then signify that she’s already come of age, but—and more likely, considering Kill la Kill’s ending—it could also signify that she’s not afraid of the hardships, challenges, and “sourness” that comes with coming of age.

In this way, I also see the “sourness” as a bit of a metaphor for moving forward rather than running away. The lemon pop in FLCL is first featured when Naota struggles to tell Mamimi that his brother is seeing someone else—a hard, difficult, “adult” situation that’s not fun and not comfortable. Naota throws the can away, perhaps representative of how he wants to run away from this problem. At the end of the episode, though, Naota has revealed the truth to Mamimi, and he then drinks the pop, signifying that there’s no more running away: he’s growing up, whether he likes it or not.

But disregarding the FLCL tribute, a character introduction that features the character biting into a raw, unpeeled lemon is powerful on its own. It tells audiences right away that this character is badass—whether her lemon-eating is because she’s not afraid of growing up or hardship or “first love” or because of any other reason, you shouldn’t mess with this chick.