hold on let's repeat that

anonymous asked:

Could you write something about how Yuuri is NOT selfish? (I am so TIRED :/.)

So am I!

Where did this perception even come from and why did it get so popular? Was it this?

Episode 12 ruins everything once again.

Ok putting aside my feelings on how lacking I find the writing in this episode, let’s delve into this. He should have talked properly to Victor here, yes. But he’s choosing to retire for an entirely selfless reason. Victor perceives it as selfishness because he doesn’t know what’s going on (and because Yuuri could have gone about his announcement better tbh). Even then, Victor says he didn’t expect Yuuri to be selfish! The person who has been living with Yuuri 24/7 for eight months never expected him to be selfish

Let’s also remember the reason Yuuri wants to retire at this point specifically is because he feels like he is hurting Victor and holding him back. 

Let me repeat that.

Yuuri was willing to sacrifice his career, his dream, and the thing he loves doing the most in the world, for Victor’s sake.

Another shining moment of Yuuri “dangerously selfless” Katsuki was this.

Yuuri doesn’t hesitate for even a second to tell Victor to go back to Japan and be with Makkachin. Yuuri is well aware of how it will be without Victor, he’s putting himself at a disadvantage in a decisive competition because he loves Victor and cares about his feelings above all else, including himself. There was nothing that could be done for Makkachin by either of them, Victor leaving actually changes nothing about Makkachin’s situation, but Yuuri still wants him to go because it means something for Victor and because Yuuri doesn’t want Victor to go through the same pain and regret he went through with Vicchan.

Other moments of Yuuri demonstrating he’s not a selfish or petty person include:

  • His entire relationship with Yurio, who, might I remind you, treats Yuuri terribly for most of the series, and yet Yuuri continuously supports him, admires him, and sincerely cheers for him
  • Feeling guilty over coming home during a busy time
  • Feeling guilty over not keeping in touch with his friends
  • Being afraid to contact that conservatory student because he’s afraid he hurt her feelings for not using her music
  • Being afraid to contact Celestino because he feels he wronged him
  • Feeling like a burden to everyone around him
  • Feeling like a burden to the sport of figure skating itself
  • Sincerely cheering for Chris, who was also kind of a jerk to Yuuri 
  • Admiring and empathising with JJ during his breakdown
  • What he chose for his season’s theme and why

A lot of Yuuri’s actions that people point out as selfish are motivated by anxiety, crippling guilt and low-self confidence and self-esteem. He is his own antagonist. A very simple and straight-forward example of this is episode 4.

Yuuri has an outburst in front of Victor and panics, and consequently starts avoiding him because he’s terrified of showing emotional vulnerability and what he perceives to be weakness to people, as he explains later at the beach. Obviously, Victor is not happy that Yuuri is avoiding him, but I feel that people tend to miss/ignore how Yuuri’s actions were making him feel.

If anything, Yuuri isn’t selfish enough. As I wrote before, a huge part of Yuuri’s character arc is about him learning to express and pursue his desires. This is present in many parts of his narrative, from the thematically significant assignment of Eros, to Yuuri admitting to himself for the first time that he wanted to win gold at last year’s GPF, to realising that he’s not a burden to others and doesn’t have to fight his battles alone nor does he have to push people away, to learning that he is “enough”.

You can’t accuse a character of being selfish when a huge part of that character’s arc is for him to learn that he’s allowed to want things for himself and that he is deserving of the things and people he loves! 

I Do Not Understand- Pennywise X reader

Hey there everyone! This is just a little snippet of a larger story idea that if you would like for me to continue, be sure to let me know! 


for those of you who do enjoy it, I hope you like this, and thank you for reading!


He liked to watch you. He would hide within the shadows of your closet and peek out through the empty spaces, carefully melting back into the walls around your room. Although the reason that kept him here was still unclear to him, he stayed and studied you, absolutely fascinated with how you went about your life.

You knew he was there, sometimes. You had caught him once or twice in the early summer, and every time he would spare you and flee without giving a word or explanation. But that was a while ago, you thought that maybe he had moved on and that hopefully he would leave you alone. Although, part of you wished that he would stay, after all of the days you had spent with him. You had known the creature for a long time now, though “know” wasn’t the world to use. You had no idea where he came from, what he really thought about you. All you knew was that he had watched you, in your room and at your school, and you remember the marks he had left many times on your skin. You remember all of the cloudy days he had spent by your side, just looking at you and enjoying the closeness. He knew the route you took to get home, what stop signs you passed and what oak trees you hid under to escape the heavy rains and he knew of your growing affection for him. You suspected it was because of this, that he left, and remained a mystery.

How much you didn’t know about him, was outnumbered by how much he did know about you.

As the months passed and summer came closer to its end, you saw less and less from the clown. You didn’t see any tall figures in the shadows, no more red balloons tied to thin tree branches, it was almost as if he had disappeared. Though this was not what it seemed.

In reality, the creature’s obsession with you only grew, he spent more time lurking in your room, watching you. He watched as you slept, dressed and ate. He watched you as you worked and talked on the phone with your friends. And what’s worse, he watched as you moaned and whimpered his name between the silky sheets of your bed.
Everyday the creature grew more more tempted to join you, relish in the earthly pleasure that was your touch. He remembered the very few time he had allowed himself to touch you, how wonderful it had been to hold so much power over you. Yet every time he was so close, he’d break away. Never again would be allow himself to partake in such a human thing, he hated himself for even thinking about it. He would try to imagine your body ripped open before him, blood blanketing the beautiful smell of your fear, but it was no use. The rush of the kill was was pale in comparison to the thought of your hands on his face, gentle touches followed by begs for more. The creature could no longer stand this torture.

One morning while you were preparing for the day ahead, he watched as you picked out a particularly interesting outfit. A short sleeved white blouse was tucked gently into an ankle long skirt, floral patterns decorated the pale pink fabric with layers of crinoline hidden underneath. You curled your hair and painted your lips with a color that caught the creature off guard, blood red. You skipped happily out of your bedroom door with a pair of cherry red shoes to match, your skirt twirling happily as you looked over yourself in the passing mirror. The monster watching from the shadows was astounded, completely overtaken with the red that decorated your body. It was a look that he had seen before, but never before had he appreciated it like this. Seeing you wear red was always a favorite for him, but never before had you worn it on your mouth, like he did.

Throughout the day he followed and watched you like usual, saw the interactions between you and your fellow humans. But this time was different, this time he felt strangely protective. He saw their looks of envy, saw how some of them would look at you behind your back, their eyes raking up and down your figure. The storm drain could barely contain his anger, his sharp teeth grinding against themselves as males and females alike would touch and compliment you. He could feel the jealousy within him, the want to make a claim to you boiling his very blood. The feeling of shame and regret that he had felt for so many months was gone, he only wanted you.

As you returned home that night, gently setting your bag on the floor before wandering into your room, the monster could no longer take it.

As you slowly opened the door to your closet, a long and slender arm shot forth from the dark, fingers clamping around your throat to silence a scream that started to form in the back of your mouth. You watched in horror as a pair of gleaming eyes stared back at you from the shadow, blue and murky like a fresh rain puddle. As you squirmed they flashed a golden yellow, sending a shiver up your spine.

“Why must you do this to me..little one”

The creature spoke and you whimpered, his arm dragging you closer to him. You could barely see him in the dark, but the smell of burnt sugar reassured your suspicion.


A muffled recognition of his name was all you could manage as he lifted you by the hold on your neck, walking forward and out into your room with you in hand. The light from your bedside lamp bathed him in gold and you observed the scowl on his face. Your hands flew up to grasp at the one that held you, tightly holding onto him as he leaned in and shouted

“Why must you tease me so!”

He shook you, your breath hitching as you croaked for breath. The clown was angry, but he didn’t seem to be angry with you. It almost seemed, as if he was frustrated with himself.

“Why? Why damn you!?”

His voice was deep, yet sharp, it made your head spin with how deep it cut you. You shook your head and managed a smile, softening your gaze.

“I- I missed you”

You said and he spat, tightening his hold and making you croak. He shook you again as she spoke, his eyes flaring into a deep gold.

“How dare you, you little pest!”

He exclaimed, confused by your smile and the way you spoke so calmly. The air was rancid with your fear, yet you smiled at him, why? Pennywise shook his head, turning and pressing you up against the wall. The force almost knocked the wind out of you as your small hands clasped tighter to the one around your neck.

“I was at peace! I would feed and then rest, content with devouring your kind! And then- You!”

He leaned in forcefully, pressing himself against you and burying his face into the crook of your neck. His eyes fluttered at the smell of your fear, your soft skin so warm, so fragile. He inhaled, growling and almost whimpering as you clutched to him. He shook again and this time, a hand came to rest against the small of his back.

“Penny, it’s okay”

You said, your voice shaking as he slowly relaxed his grip on your throat. He looked up at you, anger blaring in his eyes

“No. No! I can not eat, I can not rest! All I see, is you! You little monster!”

He roared and growled, saliva dripping from his lips as his pointed yellow teeth pressed against your skin. You winced but you did not let go, holding onto the fabric of his clothes and repeating

“Pennywise, it’s alright”

The clown shivered and felt himself melt under the smell of cherries, a new smell that he had only caught whiffs of when he saw you from far away. You felt his hands clasp your waist as he shook and pressed further into you

“I do not understand this..”

He whispered, and you smiled, resting your chin against the top of his head

“Neither do I”

You said back.


thanks so much for reading, if you’d like for me to continue this fic, be sure to let me know either in the comments, or in his inbox! If you have any head-cannons/ fic ideas, share those with me too and i might write about them! 

Thanks again! 

Part 2 - https://wanna-float.tumblr.com/post/165919137397/i-do-not-understand-pennywise-x-reader-part-2

Taking a Chance on Him - Part One / Montgomery de la Cruz

Words: 1019

You can’t help but roll your eyes as Monty moves to stand beside you, leaning against the lockers beside yours with a cocky grin. “Hey, (Y/N).”

Sighing, you don’t bother turning to face him as you reply, shoving your books way. “Montgomery,” you greet.

From the corner of your eye you can see his face drop slightly, but as per usual he was quick to recover. “How have you been?”

Raising an eyebrow, you quickly spare him a glance, “You mean in the past,” you trail off, purposely checking the time in front of him, “three hours since you last asked me that?”

Monty freezes, not expecting your response. “I mean-I don’t-” he keeps cutting himself off.

You muffle your laughs, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. “Did you need something?”

He snaps out of his trance, letting his usual confidence return, “I wanted to ask you out,” he insists.

Keep reading



Jack sat on the settee, reading the script for his new film. He was completely engrossed, mumbling lines to try and learn them, so he didn’t notice when you came out of the bath.

“It’s gone dark Jack, do you need the light on?”

No reply. “Jack?” you repeated. He grunted in response. You turned the light on anyway, only a tiny bit annoyed. You’d had a long, stressful day at work, hence the bath, and really wanted some affection from your boyfriend. He was going off to film again in a week, so you wanted to make the most of him being there. You decided to leave him to his line-learning for a bit, knowing it needed to be done before he went, so you went to get into your fluffy PJs.

You came back out of the bedroom and Jack didn’t even look up, studiously focussed on the task at hand. You huffed and grabbed your book; it would probably be good for you to read for a bit, relax and take your mind off work. But you wanted Jack to do that. You sat beside him on the sofa, snuggling into him. He would usually have wrapped his arm around you and kissed your head, but he ignored you still. You tried to concentrate on your book. You wriggled around, trying to get comfy, which only prompted Jack to shuffle further away from you. Your shoulders slumped at the distance he put between you.

‘Read your damn book’, you thought to yourself.

You stared at the page, seeing the words but hardly taking them in. When you had been on the same page for the last ten minutes, and Jack was still mumbling lines beside you, you shut our book with a thud.

You tried to nuzzle your head into Jack’s shoulder. “I missed you while I was at work today.”


You kissed him on the cheek and gently stroked his thigh. “You know, I had such a rubbish day. I just kept thinking about how much I wanted to see you.”

Still… nothing.

“Jack please.”

You started tracing open-mouthed kisses along his jaw, below his ear and down to his neck. You pushed your body closer to his, desperate to feel his skin and his affection.

“Come on, Y/N, I’m trying to learn my lines,” he said, finally looking at you. Making eye contact wasn’t accompanied by the usual rush of adrenaline, as he moved further from you again.

“I’m going to make a cup of tea, do you want one?”

“Yes please…”, he said absently, head buried in his script again.

You trudged in to the kitchen, silently grumbling as the kettle boiled. You felt your mood souring, though you really didn’t want to be angry with him. You knew he had to learn his lines within the week, which wasn’t as easy task, but he’d had all day with the flat to himself while you were at work. Now you were home you had hoped he would put the script away and spend some time with you while you were still under the same roof.

You took the two cups of tea into the living room and handed Jack his.

“You’re welcome,” you said sarcastically when he failed to show any gratitude.

You sat alone on the armchair, curling your legs up underneath you, and cradled your mug. You watched Jack as he crinkled his forehead, nodding his head with each repetition. You couldn’t be mad at him really, it was too hard when he looked that cute, but that didn’t stop the disappointment from creeping over your skin and settling in your eyes, materialising as tears. You just wanted some TLC after a trying day, and your barely got a glance in your direction. Before you let the tears spill from your eyes, you went into the bedroom and shut the door behind you. You flopped onto the bed with a sigh, burying your face in the duvet and muffling the choked sobs and sniffles as best you could. It wasn’t that big a deal really, and you were annoyed at yourself for getting so upset about it, but the toil of the day was catching up with you. You were physically and emotionally drained, leaving you highly vulnerable and rather tender.

After a few minutes your heard the door swing open and timid footsteps nearing the bed.

“Y/N? What’s wrong love?”

“Nothing,” you mumbled, desperately trying to pull yourself together and hide your face. He sat beside you on the bed.

“Don’t go taking that attitude with me now. What’s the matter?”

“I’m just tired, is all.” You let him pull you towards him and rest your head on his lap.

“No, when yer ‘just tired’ ye go straight to bed, you don’t lie on it crying. Tell me what the problem is, hennie.” He stroked your hair delicately, tucking it behind your ear and letting his fingers linger on your neck every now and again.

“I had a hard day at work,” you said, feeling childish and unable to look at him, “I guess I wanted some affection but you didn’t have any time for me.”

“Oh pet, I always have time for ye. You should have said.”

“I did,” you muttered. Then the reason for your disproportionate reaction hit you. “I’m just upset that you’re going away again so soon. I feel like every time you leave I lose you a little bit more. I can’t tell if it’s getting easier of harder to say goodbye, it seems to be doing both. The trouble is, I don’t know which scares me more.”

Without saying a word Jack hauled you towards him, pulling your body in tight to his and blanketing you in his arms.

“I might not be with ye all the time”, he whispered, “but I’m no’ going anywhere, okee? I love my job, but I hate that I have te leave ye so often. I always come back though, don’ I? We’re solid, me and you. We’ve got this.”

You nodded, nestling your head into his neck and letting his strong embrace hold you together.

“We’ve got this,” you repeated. Your voice was weak from crying, and thick, but the words carried a conviction you hadn’t known you held until it spilled from your lips.

“We’ve got this.”

Essays in Existentialism: MASH

Just this morning I was thinking about army!Lexa and doctor!Clarke…sure, in my mind they were both overseas, Lexa commanding her group and Clarke patching them up but…

“My favourite customer,” the doctor grinned looking over the chart as the soldier winced on the gurney. The tent was alive with dying, alive with the absolute chaos that came with cleaning up absolute chaos. “Glad to see you in one piece, Lieutenant.” 

“We have to stop meeting like this, Doc,” Lexa flexed her jaw to avoid groaning. 

Keep reading

Chapter 6


I literally woke up with a big goofy smile on my face. The only thing I could think about was how good Kai made me feel last night. After we were finished at my place, we went back to his. I knew my legs were like noodles so I wasn’t even gone attempt to walk.

I managed to take a quick bath since Kai was downstairs doing lord knows what, but I literally was limping. I think the hot bath made my legs better though.

“You finally up?” Kai asked as he came in scratching his head. He had on his durag, boxers, and socks looking like a whole full course meal. Kai didn’t even have to try.

“Yea, how long was I sleep?”

“10 hours g..” he shook his head with a smile as my eyes widened. That’s honestly a blessing for me. No wonder I woke up feeling refreshed.

“Haven’t gotten sleep like that since I was in the womb.” I admitted, making Kai laugh. It was true. I’ve always had trouble staying asleep growing up and I still do. Maybe I need Kai to dick me down every night.

“I made breakfast.. you hungry?” He said as he grabbed a pair of sweats out of his drawer before slipping them on.

“Yes, but you gotta carry me.” I smiled as he winked at me before coming to pick me up bridal style.

As he carried me to the kitchen, the mixture of different foods filled my nose and it smelled lovely. When Kai sat me down on one of the high chairs, I gasped at what was in front of me.

“Kaiden! You didn’t have to do this, thank you!” I said still in disbelief. I was shocked because I didn’t think he could cook and because he made a whole feast. He must’ve loved our little event from last night because he doesn’t even cook for himself.

“Yea I did.. its my way of apologizing from spazzin’ last night. I hate fighting wit you, especially over small shit. Plus, you put it on a nigga.. I ain’t even gone lie.” He grinned at me as he ate a piece of a strawberry. Just when I was about to thank him again, his phone started ringing.

“Hello?” He answered, giving me the hold on signal with his finger.

“Ma, I got comp-” Ma? I know that isn’t short for mom, which is short for mother.

“You outside?” I looked down at my attire and mentally cursed to myself.

“Uh baby.. my mom’s outside and I’m pretty sure you don’t want her seeing you like this so you might wanna go put on some clothes. I mean it don’t matter to me but..” he assured me, referring to the red bra and panties I had put on specially for him since it was his favorite color. Scratch that, did he say his mom?

“Kai I know you did not just say your damn mama.” He looked at me with a look of sympathy on his face because he knew I wasn’t ready to meet her yet. Especially when I just got done riding her son’s dick into the sunset. How could he?

He’s told me many stories about his mom, and she seems like a sweet lady. I don’t really care if anyone doesn’t like me, but I WANT his mom to. Meeting her like this just gives me bad vibes. I swear Ima kill Kai when she leaves.

“We ain’t got time to discuss this ma, just go throw some shit on.” He said as he jogged towards his living room. I swear this nigga probably set this whole thing up.

I ran up the stairs so fast, I almost busted my damn ass in the process.

Shaking my head in slight anger, I snatched off my bandeau and replaced it with a plain T shirt and a pair of biker shorts. That was appropriate enough I guess.

Leaving my hair in its ponytail, I took a deep breath before making my way down the stairs where I heard Kai, his mom, and his brother.

“Baby, who’s got you cooking? Every time I try to get you to cook with me, you never want to.” I heard her say to him as I chuckled lowly. When I was at the last stair, I hurriedly walked to the kitchen to show my face.

I didn’t even step a toe in there yet and they were already looking at me. A smile immediately spread across his mother’s face as she walked up closer to me. Wyd?

“Buttercup! Is this the one you’ve been talking my ear off about?” She looked at Kai as he nodded and smirked at me. Wow, he’s been talking to his mom about me? Kai trying to earn some cool points I see.

“My little almond! Come, come!” She said anxiously as she motioned for me to come and hug her. Kai and his brother were too busy laughing at the fact that she nicknamed me her little almond, but I didn’t care. I thought it was cute. Her dimples were the cutest.

She was just a gorgeous little petite lady with long black hair. Her black didn’t crack at all. She looked like she could be his sister.

“Hi Ms-”

“Honey, you can call me Kaidyn or mama Kai.” She assured me as she released me from the hug. She smelled like fruit.

I’m guessing Kai was named after her. I didn’t feel comfortable just flat out calling her by her government yet, so Mama Kai it is for now.

“Kai talks about you all the time! You raised him into a great, respectful young man and I want to thank you for that. The way he treats women is incredible.” I explained to her as she nodded.

Kai was always saying how didn’t disrespect women because he came from one and grew up in a house hold full of them. Plus, he wouldn’t want anyone disrespecting his mother.

“Yes, I’m very thankful that he remembers what I taught him. He will not stop calling me every night about you, Ms. Robyn. You’re even prettier in person.”

“Thank you, you’re gorgeous.”

“Ma, when we gone eat?”

“Who is we? I made this for my baby and mama.” Kai rose an eyebrow at his brother. They were forever being mean to each other. I don’t know if that’s how they express their love or what.

“You need help Mama Kai?” I asked once I noticed she was setting up the table.

“Oh no baby, thanks for asking though.” She gave me a big smile as she started to get out some plates for all of us. I forgot that Kai had told me that she was a chef, so of course she’d enjoy doing this.

“So Mama Kai, I hear you’re a chef..”

“Yes ma'am, I have a passion for cooking. Ever since I was little, I’d always be in the kitchen helping my mother cook. Kai obviously does too, but he thinks it’s "gay”.“ She explained, shaking her head at the end of the sentence.

"Kai why? I think it’s cute.”

“Why you gotta put me on the spot like that, ma?” He said as he looked down at her. Kai was a good 6'5, so he was the tallest in here.

“Boy please, wait til I show her your baby pictures.”

“So what about you Robyn?”

“Well, I have a passion for designing clothes. I’m launching my Summer Collection in a few weeks. I’ve gotten as far as designing hundreds of prom dresses, wardrobe for Met Gala, many award shows, and I’m currently working on a makeup line for my girls of color.” I explained confidently, as she nodded with a look that said she was impressed.

“That’s great! I wish you nothing but more success in the future. I might have to get you to design my wedding dress.” She smirked at me as I nodded. I would love that.

Once she had brought us our plates, no words were said. Everybody was just eating, and the food was so damn good. I honestly haven’t had cooking this good since my mom.


Popping a piece of gum in my mouth, I grabbed my purse and carefully walked down the stairs. I had on heels, and I would hate to break my ankles trying to be cute going down the stairs.

When I reached the last stair, I seen Jaylen in the kitchen munching on whatever. Probably a bunch of junk food.

“Where you going wit ya nipples out?” He smirked as he winked at me.

“A place.” I stated dryly, trying not to get too carried away in the conversation.

“Damn, what a nigga do now? You being all dry and shit.” He got serious and looked down at me. I went into the fridge and grabbed one of my waters before sitting on the couch since Winter wasn’t here yet. She was forever taking her sweet ass time.

I didn’t want to ignore him I just.. I don’t know.

“So you don’t hear me? Aight cool.” He nodded before leaving and slamming the door in the process. I knew one of his biggest pet peeves was being ignored, so I don’t know why I would do that. He’d never do me like that.

“I’m so stupid.” I sighed as I put my head in my hands. I was honestly confused. I just wish Jaylen wouldn’t have said what he said to Kai, because if he didn’t things would be so different. I’m not even gonna put all the blame on Jaylen because it was both of them. Sometimes Kai doesn’t know how to let stuff go and he gets mad too fast.


I’ve been out dragging Kai with me all day to buy new fabric. The way I’ve been working, I was bound to run out.

Both of us were tired as hell and since my place was closer, I just decided to go there. Hopefully O was in his room.

Jaylen 🤡: wya

I was honestly too lazy to text back so I would have to get to him later. I knew Kai was tired of holding all my damn bags so I hurriedly unlocked the door.

As soon as I waited for Kai to come in, I couldn’t believe who I seen on the couch. Jaylen was about to speak until he saw Kai come behind me and kiss my neck. “I’ll be in ya room sleep.”

“Fuck you doing with this buster ass nigga?” Jaylen stood up, pointing to  Kai. Kai stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to make sure Jaylen wasn’t talking to him.

“Fuck you said?”

“I said fuck you d-”

“Jaylen!” I yelled, not wanting this to go further. I swear Jaylen doesn’t know how to shut up. I saw Kai come closer so I tried to hold him back but failed miserably.

“Nah watch out, let him repeat that shit.” He stood there waiting for him to go on. Jaylen waved him off as if he wasn’t here and turned back to me.

“So this why you be some-timing Robyn? Cause you got a nigga now? You stopped fucking with me for this monkey ass nigga?”

“Yea she got a nigga now. Fuck you worried bout my girl for? Wit this damn over processed perm you got.” I didn’t even get a chance to talk.

“Look here coochie beard, once again I ain’t talking to you. Did ya mom not teach you to speak when you spoken to? Damn.” He aggravatingly sighed. Jesus..

“You guys ch-” I started to say but was cut off.

“Ion give a fuck if you talking to me or not, the fuck you worried bout my girl for? She good, she don’t need to be talking to you.” He said, which Jaylen found funny. I really hope he wasn’t about to do or say anything stupid.

“Since you know everything and y'all so gucci, was she ya girl when we was just on the phone two nights ago? Was she ya girl when we was just chillin’ on Wednesday? Was she ya girl when she was letting me touch all up on her? Was she ya girl when I ate her puss-”

That’s all it took for Kai to charge for Jaylen and deck him right in the mouth. Next thing I know, I saw him pull something from the waistband of his jeans and my heart dropped. “Talk that shit now, bitch ass nigga!” Kai yelled aggressively.

“Nigga fuck you!” Jaylen spat.

I knew about his past so I knew him shooting Jaylen would be nothing for him. But this was over something so small and stupid and believe or not, I’d hate to see Jaylen get hurt in any type of way.

“Kai stop!” I pushed him back with all my force. When he saw the look on my face, his eyes softened but he was still breathing hard. He shook his head before tucking the gun back in his jeans and storming out of the condo.

Sighing, I noticed Jaylen holding his jaw on the couch. “You aight?” I questioned as he nodded.

“Damn Jaylen, you need to learn to stop talking to everybody like you’re crazy. Why would you say that to him?”

“Fuck outta here, that nigga was coming at me like I’m a bitch.” He spat before standing up and grabbing all his things to leave.

*Flashback Over*

I shook my head at the event and realized that Jaylen’s art show was tomorrow night.    I had been working on my dress for decades because literally everyone was gonna be there. It was really important to him and I know he would hate me if I missed it.. Fuck.

“Girl what you over there looking like a lil lost puppy for?” I heard Winter’s voice, making me smile a bit. I haven’t talked to her in forever. She was like a big sister to me.

“No reason-”

“Wassup hoodrat?” I heard Jaylen’s voice. Winter’s happy mood immediately changed. It was so funny, because she literally could not stand him. Everyone knew that.

“Boy you look like one of Santa’s elves with all this damn green on, fuck outta my face.” She rolled her eyes as she snatched her keys off the table.

“Come on Robyn, before he make me hurt him.” She mugged him as she left out of the door first. I looked back at him and he looked at me, shaking his head.

“Hollywood, yo.” He said but I just shrugged it off.

Was I?


Once my mom left, I felt relieved. I knew she would like Robyn because she got along with everybody. The only way she wouldn’t like you is if you were disrespectful to her or family. Other than that, she straight.

I didn’t have much cleaning to do since all the food was gone. My mom told every damn body in her phone that I cooked, so a few of my cousins and shit came over. I didn’t mind though, cause I didn’t want all the food just sitting here.

I had felt bad for yelling at Rob like I did yesterday, so I cooked for her. I would’ve went out and bought her a new bag or something, but she would’ve declined so I did something simple.

I wasn’t trying to be insecure or nothing, but when you get fucked over so many times, it’s hard not to think some fishy shit going on.

I don’t give a fuck about Robyn having a nigga as a friend at all. It was just that nigga that I don’t like. This nigga sat there and flirted wit my girl in my face like that wasn’t disrespectful.  He had the nerve to tell me what went down between them like I wasn’t gone do shit. I swear if Rob ain’t calm me down, I would’ve bodied his dumbass. I got heat for niggas like him.

That’s why I don’t want her fucking with him. I trust her, it’s just him that I don’t trust. I got the perfect career, and the girl of my dreams. I ain’t letting nobody fuck that up, real talk.

It took a lot of shit to get to where I’m at today. Shit used to be dangerous and hectic before I saved up enough money to start my own business. Before I even started, I bought my mom a gigantic, beautiful house and a brand new Snow White Jag. That was one of my biggest goals before anything. She took care of me all my life, so I felt as if I needed to start taking care of her. Whatever she wants, she can get it because she wasn’t always rich, but she still made sure we had everything we wanted and needed growing up.

After I realized that I had more than enough to start my own business, I left that dangerous life style behind. Being a hitman wasn’t always easy, but it paid hella good. Good enough to where I started expanding my work.

I just pray that this shit doesn’t catch up to me because I’m doing great right now. I’m genuinely happy. But you know every time some shit going good, you get slapped in the face with some bullshit. It never fails.

I swear I been feeling like some shit was bout to pop off lately, like I needed to go see a therapist or something. I keep having these paranoid thoughts that I’m either bout to get killed or go to jail. I really didn’t want to talk to Robyn about this neither. That’s why I needed to see a therapist.

“Babe, you seen my sketch book?” I heard Rob ask from my room. Snatching her book off of the island, I jogged to my room only to see her fat ass in the air searching for something on the floor. She stayed wearing those tiny ass shorts around me. Her ass swallowed them every time.

“Aye, I wanna talk to you about something..” I said in a stern like tone as I sat down on the bed after handing her the sketch book.

“Man Kai don’t tell me you got something, I’ll kill you.” She stressed as I looked at her like she was crazy. What type of nigga would I be to fuck her raw if I knew I had something? I don’t get down like that.

“Nah, you got me bent.”

“Sorry, spill.”

“I love you, aight? Like that first day I saw you, I ain’t think you was gone talk to me but I’m glad you did. These months I’ve known you have by far been the best moments of my life. Swear I can’t even go 30 minutes without talking to you. You special Robyn, and I just wanna say that whatever happens to me in the future.. I’m sorry and I love you.” I explained to her as she wore a confused look on her face.

I didn’t wanna tell her about my thoughts because she would stress about that shit and I know she got enough shit on her case to be stressing about already.

“Kai, where is this coming from? Don’t talk like that, I’d lose my shit if something happened to you.”

“Just remember what I said, you got me?” She nodded followed with a sigh. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her slightly big forehead.

“What you wanna do today? I’m all yours.” She looked up at me as I became deep in my thoughts. I didn’t want to sit around, because I knew tomorrow was quickly approaching.

Tomorrow it was going to be 5 years since my baby girl’s been gone, and it’s a hard time for me every year. If she was still here, she would’ve been 9. I could’ve still been walking her to class every morning, tucking her in bed every night.. all that.

I remember cooking for her and she would always be right by my side, watching my every move. She told me that she wanted to be a chef one day because she loved to help me cook. I didn’t think cooking was gay, I just said that shit cause I didn’t wanna explain the real reason. Ever since my baby passed, I gave that shit up.

I missed her more than anything, and since she’s gone I don’t even know if I ever wanna have another child.

“Kai?” Robyn sat up and held my face, breaking me out of my thoughts. She didn’t know the exact day my baby died, so of course she didn’t know what I was thinking about. I didn’t want to talk about it either. I need to text Kayla though, to see if she’s still coming with me and my moms.

“Yea wassup?”

“What you wanna do today?” She repeated, stroking my beard. It actually felt good.

“Oh, it don’t matter babe. We can go have to the park or something it don’t gotta be nothing big.”

“How about a picnic?” At first I was about to decline until I thought about it. That ain’t sound too bad.

“Yea, that sound chill. Go pack some shit and I’ll get everything else.” I told her as she nodded and made her way to the kitchen. She better not pack no vegetables and shit. I was cool with fruit.

The sound of my phone vibrating had broke me out of my thoughts. It was Kayla.. my assistant.

Assistant🤞🏾: everything’s set for the week, thank me later 😊 ungrateful bastard

I huffed at the last part of her message. She was forever complaining about how I don’t appreciate her enough. I thanked her  lil annoying ass every second of the day.

Me: you still going wit me & my mama to see baby girl?

Assistant🤞🏾: duh Kai.. don’t forget she was my baby too.

Not wanting to argue with her, I left it at that and just went on about my day. Going to the hall closet, I got out two small and old blankets that Robyn and I could use.

Once I was done, I went in the kitchen to see her leaning on the counter scrolling through her phone. Her booty was poking out of her shorts and I had to get her.

“Let’s go!” I yelled as I sent a hard slap to her ass causing her to jump up immediately. “Kai! Ouch!” She dramatically whined.

“You’ll be aight.” I laughed as I rubbed the spot for her, as she led the way out of my house. I noticed that she had caught an attitude so I was literally about to kiss her ass.

Getting on my knees, I wrapped my arms around her waist so she could stop walking. I gently kissed the spot that I hit before standing back up. “Happy now?” I asked as she nodded with a smile.

Shaking my head at her fake attitude, I opened the car door for her as I made sure she got in and put on her seat belt. After getting in myself, I started the car and followed the directions that she had put on my phone.

Cause I Love You by Lenny Williams was softly playing on the radio and I had seen Robyn turn it up. “What you know about that? That’s grown folk music.” I smiled at her as she waved me off.

“Boy I grew up on this music. This is the jam.” She said as I nodded in agreement. Ain’t nothing like that good old school music. You could never go wrong with it, it was good for the soul. I liked our generation of music too, but I was more of an old soul.

“I love youuuuuuu.” I sang to Robyn as I gripped her thigh while I drove. She covered her ears and shook her head no.

“You sound like a dying lizard.” She busted up laughing, as I couldn’t help but smile. She was forever talking shit about ya boy.

I looked over at the short shorts she was wearing, but I didn’t mind. I felt like since it was her body, I couldn’t tell her what to do with it. If she look good in the shit, why would I tell her to take it off? Just know if a nigga look, I’m cutting his eyes out.

Once we reached the park, I shut the car off and grabbed the basket as she grabbed the old blankets. We had walked up to the hill that Robyn told me about and it was as dope as she described. Some serious brainstorming could be done up here.

“Robyn this all you brought?” I asked as I sat everything on top of the blankets she had put down.

“Yes babe, I told you I’m trying to go vegan.” She smiled confidently. This girl..

“Why you ain’t pack nun’ for me then?”

“Cause then I would’ve asked for some, I’m sorry.” She apologized as her face twisted up into a frown.

“You just too cute. You ain’t gotta apologize, I guess I’ll just be healthy with you.” I said as I popped a grape tomato in my mouth. Which was a stupid thing to do by the way, cause I fucking hated tomatoes.

“How you know about this view?”

“My daddy used to take me up here all the time and read me his little poems.” She smiled as she looked off into space.

I took that as my time to let her do her and enjoy the view myself. I had to get a picture of this shit though. Just imagine it at night when you can see the stars and shit.

Putting my phone away, I decided to just admire the sunset and my girl’s presence. I tried not to think about the fact that these mosquitoes were tearing a nigga up.

Some Marvin Gaye was playing from her Beats Pill, and I ain’t know about her but that shit was making me horny. The way the sun bounced off of her toffee colored, smooth, freshly shaved legs.. the way her ass say gently onto the ground. The way her natural beauty stood out on her bare face. I could go on.

“Why’re you staring like I’m not yours?” She smiled, looking over at me. Damn she was beautiful.

Not wanting to reply to that, I grabbed her hand and interlocked my fingers with hers, lightly squeezing her dainty hand. Her hand felt like butter and shit. Her whole body felt like it, to be honest.

She had let go of my hand and grabbed it, which broke me out of my thoughts. I was about to ask what she was doing until she shushed me before smirking.

Her hand slowly guided mines from her small perky breasts down to the band of her shorts.

“I like how you trying to be sexy and shit, but we gotta speed this up before a bear pop out and eat both of our asses up.”

I told her as we both busted out laughing but I was lowkey dead ass.


You seen Robyn? Her ass been ducked off.“

"Fuck that hoe.” I mumbled only loud enough for myself to hear. It’s crazy how people do you.


“Nothing man, I'ma bounce.” I said, and with that I dipped. I wasn’t in the mood to talk about her fake ass right now.

First of all, she cut me off out of no where and to be honest, that actually hurt the little bit of feelings that I did have left. She ain’t say why or nothing.

I’m thinking that maybe her phone was broken or whatever, so I thought she hadn’t forgot about my event and was still coming. Boy was I wrong. She had me looking hella stupid.


Everyone was here, but Robyn. She was supposed to be like the first person here, but here we are.. 3 hours later and she a no show. This event was about to be over in a few minutes.

Once I thanked everyone for coming, people were starting to leave so I took that as my time to hit her up again hoping that she had a good excuse. She better have had the bubble guts or got shot or some shit.

Calling her for like the 100th time, her phone had went to voicemail. “You good?” Odell asked as he noticed the frustration on my face. I couldn’t tell him that I was pissed because his sister ain’t show up. He’d think we fuck with each other.

“Ion wanna talk about it..” I told him as I walked away and sat outside on the steps. I had on a maroon suit and Robyn was supposed to have on the sparkly maroon gown that she made specifically for this night. She wouldn’t stop talking about how she couldn’t wait for me to see it. A nigga was actually excited to see it, too.

I really couldn’t believe this motherfucker.  She could’ve at least called in advance and let me know. I wouldn’t even have been mad, but to stand me up? She got me hella fucked up.

After a while, a car pulled up a few feet away from me making me look up. When the door opened, there appeared a tipsy Robyn wiping her mouth. I then started to put the pieces together when her nigga or whatever was zipping up his pants. Why did she even bring this clown? Now I was really pissed.

I thought they were about to come inside of the building, but they went the opposite way to the hotel next door. So she blew me off to suck some dick? She could’ve did that earlier. It couldn’t wait?

“I swear as soon as bitches get dick that’s all they see, think, smell, and breathe.” I mumbled to myself as I pulled out my phone to check my messages.

That familiar scent that I loved so much had caught my attention. I looked over and noticed that Robyn had went back to the car to get something. I took that as my que to speak to her.

“So you really stood me up for some dick, Robyn?” I stood behind her as she jumped at the sound of my voice. She slowly turned around and blinked. She sobered up real quick.

“Jaylen, you were constantly touching on me, flirting and all that and you knew I had a boyfriend. You even told him about the little event that we had, which caused him not to like you. If it was the other way around, I would tell him to cut off a girl that’s constantly stepping out of the friendship boundaries as well.”

“Ok and instead of cutting a nigga off, you could’ve fucking told me to chill. Its cool though, cause I see that he more important than me. Even though I was here for you before him. I see where your loyalty lies Rob.” I chuckled bitterly.


“You ain’t even gotta apologize to cause you know you ain’t even sorry.” And with that, I walked away.

*Flashback Over*

That was the last time I heard from her trifling ass, which was a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately, I needed to talk to her just for a second cause I think I left my watch in her room the last time I was there. Now I was wishing that Winter liked me, cause I could just tell her to get it. Oh well, here goes nothing.

Sucking my teeth, I pulled out my phone and dialed her number since it wasn’t saved anymore. After a few rings she answered. “Yo,” I heard a male voice, which made me think I had the wrong number but it couldn’t be.

“Where Robyn at?” I asked blankly. He started to laugh, which confused me.

“I know this ain’t who I think it is..”

“Nigga you guessed it. Now put her on the phone, I ain’t call to catch up on old times and shit. Time is ticking.”

“Nah she occupied wit my dick right now.”

“Aight, well can you put it on speaker?” I asked, waiting for him to stop bullshitting. I didn’t care about all that extra shit, I just wanted my watch honestly.

Next thing I know, the phone had hung up making me suck my teeth. I guess I would just have to go over to O’s place my damn self.

Grabbing a condom or two, I slid them in my wallet before sliding it in my back pocket. Once I stepped into my shoes, I grabbed my car keys and went next door.

It was quiet in here so I was hoping that Robyn wasn’t here. That way I could just get my watch and leave. When I walked into Robyn’s room, there she was on the bed laid up with Kyle. Cuties.

“Yo-” I cut off his attempt to start ranting. He could never chill, like dude ain’t nobody even worried about yo funky ass.

“Nigga chill out ain’t nobody checking for yo nut head ass girlfriend, I came to get my rollie.” I waved him off as I went to the closet and grabbed the duffle bag I had left over here for decades.

They had went back to ignoring my presence but when I started to walk out, I threw some water onto her bed to where it got on both of them. Her nigga immediately got up and I dashed off, laughing my ass off. You would’ve thought that I was Jesse Owens.

I knew her nigga stayed strapped, but I just liked fucking with him. He got so mad over shit and it was mad funny. I could tell he really ain’t like but I ain’t give a fuck.

Once I was back in my crib, I unzipped the duffle bag and my watch was right at the top. I was only going to the store to get more paint but I still needed to look good. You never knew who you were going to see.

Since I only lived on the second floor, it took a few seconds for me to get off of the elevator. When I got to the parking lot, I unlocked my car with the button on my keys and got in. The first thing I did was put on my seatbelt, safety first.

Michael’s was literally a 5 minute drive since it was around the corner. With the way my speeding skills were set up, I was there in no time.

As I went to the aisle with paint, I noticed a petite light skin girl trying to reach for something. She had on a shirt with a little girl that read RIP. The girl looked like her too.. damn.

I heard some stuff fall which broke me out of my thoughts. She was struggling over there. “I got it. What you need?” I assured her as I walked over to her. She looked at me confusingly before speaking.

“The lavender paint. I don’t know why they put it at the top today. The pastel colors go at the bottom.” She said as she started to pick up the things she dropped. I noticed that it looked like she had been crying, but I ain’t wanna get all in her business.  

“Here you go..” I handed her the paint as she just stood there staring at me like she was thinking about something. She was looking at me like I was a piece of meat.

“I.. My bad. Thank you.” She said lowly as she took the paint from by hand. I chuckled because I could tell that was nervous as fuck.

“Need anything else?”


“I needed that, I haven’t had sex in years.” She caught her breath as she took her hair out of the ponytail that it was in, letting it flow down her back. I had been pulling on that shit for the longest.

Long story short, she told me that she just wanted to do something to take her mind off of whatever she was sad about. We went back to my place, and y'all know how that go. I ain’t think she had it in her.

We talked for a bit, ended up drinking way more than what we was supposed to, then had sex. It’s been a minute for me, so I was geeked about that.

She never told me what she was crying about, but I got some pussy instead so I wasn’t tripping. “Why is that?” She shrugged. She started to put back on her clothes.

“I’m gonna go though, bye..-” I stopped her then remembered we never exchanged names. I mean it really wasn’t important, it’s not like I'ma ever see this girl again.


“Kayla.” She smiled weakly before leaving out of the room. I heard my front door slam shut, so I took that as my time to get up and get in the shower.

Washing my body and hair for about 30 minutes, I finally stepped out and just threw some shorts and a plain white tee on. I was only going to O’s house. I guess that was the spot for tonight.

Lacing up my vans, I made sure everything was turned off before leaving and going next door. When I walked in, I seen O and Winter playing Uno.

“I got a blunt.” I called out as I seen Winter smile. Now she was trying to be my friend. Pulling the blunt and lighter out of my pocket, I took a seat at the table where they sat.

Once it was lit, I started to take a few hits before feeling buzzed. Winter had reached her hand out making me laugh. Fuck her, I just remembered all the times she put her hands on me.

“Get Out the way, tranny.” I said as I playfully pushed her out the way. I knew she’d curse my ass out, but it was funny every time. I loved fucking wit her. All bullshit aside, she was the homie though.

“Look here Banana bitch, I’m warning you now.. I will fuck you up today.” She threatened as I tried my best to hold in my laughter.

“Jay, why you always fucking wit my girl? One day she gone fuck you up and I even ain’t gone say nun’.” O chuckled as he wrapped his arm around her. She stuck her tongue out at me and I flicked her off. I swear if Winter was my girl, I’d have her in check fuck that attitude shit. He be letting her punk him.

“Here..” I gave the weed to O. Winter scoffed. I knew he couldn’t smoke since Football but I was trying to make her mad.

“Why didn’t you pass it to m-”

“Cause nobody like y-” I started to say before her hand came in contact with the back of my neck. This hoe.

“I got my own weed from back home anyways fuck that weak ass corn you got.” She rolled her eyes as she got up to go in O’s room. She always felt the need to let everybody know that she got her weed from Jamaica. She need to take her ass back, don’t nobody care.

“Corn? Girl please.” I waved her off. Now she was just saying shit just to say it.

“Y'all argue too much.”

“That’s her, she can’t ever take a joke.”

“Cause you not fucking funny nigga. You swear you Kat Williams wit your ugly ass.” She rolled her eyes. I really tried to hold in my laughter, cause I ain’t want her mad ass to explode on me but this shit was funny.

“You know who funny? You are. You funny as shit. HAHAHA.” I draped my arm across her shoulder as she quickly pushed it off with a mug on her face.

“I’m going to sleep, you’re aggravating.” She waved me off as she put her head down on the table, putting her damn stale ass ends on my plate in he process.

“I love you.” I teased her, only for her to ignore me. She was really pissed off.

I was about to speak until I seen Robyn come down the stairs with Kangaroo. She really cut me off for this hairy nigga.

“You let her have company?”

“Yea.. I trust her.” He shrugged as I sucked my teeth. But if it was me, he wouldn’t condone that shit.

I’m guessing her nigga had left, because she came back and started small talk with Odell.

I tried my best to ignore her like she been doing me but she had a nigga beat. I was still putting in effort to ignore her every move and gon’ about my business but, shit. She was breath taking, I glanced at her with the quickness and froze when we locked eyes.

She looked away but I pulled some Kanye shit and kept looking to make her feel uncomfortable and I succeeded. Her conversation with O was cut short, she rubbed the back of her neck nervously and headed towards the bathroom, a few steps away from the kitchen where I was. I gave it a few seconds before I headed that way, to make it really seem like I had to piss.

I heard her talking to herself softly before I opened the door, of course Robyn ain’t lock the damn door. She jumped and I put my hands up in surrender. “It’s only me.”

“Jaylen, you scared the shit outta me.” she said, holding her heart. Her chest heaving up and down. Damn, I really scared her.

“I hope you flushed.” I joked but she ain’t catch it. I smiled nervously and she smirked. “Anyway, I ain’t know you was still in here. My bad.” I tried to guilt trip her into talking to me. Drastic times, drastic measures. I started making my way out and her voice stopped me.

“It’s okay.” she said softly. She wanted to talk to me but it was something or someone holding her back.

“We grown, we ain’t kids. This nigga tell you to stop fuckin’ wit’ me?” I mumbled with a slight frown.

“Yeah.” she mumbled lowly.

“I respect that.” I said to her surprise and mine…I meant it though.

“You do?” I nodded. “I woulda respected the situation even more if you woulda hit my line and told me where we stood. I was thinking we was cool during the finals. You up and left a nigga like KD did Westbrook and ain’t say shit.”

The basketball reference must’ve confused her because her eyebrows came together.

“You just cut me off like I was dead weight. Like it won’t shit for you to leave me alone.”

“I do miss us being friends. Kai don’t though.”

I rolled my eyes. So this nigga the reason why she missed my event? Rob ain’t known for breaking promises so I know she ain’t do that shit by free will.

“We friends. This nigga won you at an auction or sum'n? You his property? He fuckin’ you?” I asked, not really wanting to know the answer. Knowing Rob’s curious ass, she probably turnt the hell out already.

“Friends don’t look at each other the way you look at me and touch me, and talk to me. He felt some type of way.”

“Nigga, pineapples. Create a fuckin’ safe word, you had me out here lookin’ stupid at my event. Where’s Rob? You seen Rob?” I imitated my head ass emotions. “I ain’t doing shit on purpose, you fine and sometimes I can’t-”

“See. Friends don’t call each other fine.”

“Man, shit. You pretty, far from ugly. Name one nigga who wouldn’t tell you that every chance he could.”

She couldn’t.

“Exactly. Look, I’ll stop the flirting. We could be strictly friends, you know I ain’t got much other than O and big head ass Winter. I told you some dark shit and you up and left wit’ it.”

“Sorry, I should’ve said something.” she said. “Sorry, you’re right. How was your event?”

“My fleeky bestie wasn’t there to match my fly. It was cool though, killed it by myself.”

“Happy for you.” she said. And then it dawned on me, he told her to stop talking to me but we see who got the upper hand. We having a whole ass conversation in the bathroom. Nigga nowhere to be found.

“Wait. We talking, you gon’ make sure thuggish-ruggish bone ass Kenny don’t pop the trunk on my bitch ass?” I said in air-quotes, mocking and quoting him from that one altercation. Nigga thought he was tough. My skinny ass could murk him in two licks AND walk away with his bitch.

“I told him we were just friends. I’ll make sure he doesn’t try shit.”

“Shit, I’ll make sure he don’t try shit. Fuck him.” I spat and she shook her head.

“Jealous ass.”

“I got a right to be.”

“You started it. How I let you eat and you go in for seconds on the same night with a random?”

“She ain’t random, we know her very well.”

“Nigga…okay, I’m going upstairs.”

“I’m playin’, Rob. Good talk, though.”

“Yeah, cool ass. Let’s try this again when you ain’t on 10.” she smiled cutely and I mirrored it.

“I'ma chill out.” I semi-promised. I'ma try to at least so we could be on good terms. She my only real friend.

“Kay. I know you didn’t really have to use the bathroom, stalker.” I was about to respond and say something childish back, but I remembered that she never showed me the dress cause she didn’t show up.

“Ay, you should show me that dress that you never got to wear.”

“Oh yea.. I did tell you I’d show you. Come on.” She grabbed my hand in excitement and quickly led the way to her room. I missed our friendship and I wasn’t letting nobody come in between that shit this time. Kai who?

  • take a deep breath
  • put on your favourite pyjamas (or change out of pyjamas and into clothes)
  • drink a glass of water - it will refresh and energise you so much
  • eat some fruit - or some chocolate, if you need to
  • if you’re feeling up to it, take a shower (a bath, if you’re feeling extra fancy - or extra stressed)
  • put on a face mask
  • wash your face, take off your makeup if you wear it (and you’re not going out again or whatever) and moisturise
  • exfoliate, maybe
  • brush your teeth (the feeling of clean teeth is my favourite when I’m feeling icky tbh)
  • drink hot chocolate (or chocolate milk, if it’s too warm)
  • speak to someone you love, let them know that you care, or that you’re thinking about them, or even just that you’re okay
  • sit down for a bit and listen to a meditation track, or a slow/classical song, or an audiobook for a little while. close your eyes and just breathe
  • inhale through your nose for 7 seconds, hold for 4 and then let go for 8. repeat for as many times as you need to (this is the best for when you’re feeling particularly stressed or anxious about something)
  • give yourself a compliment. stand in front of the mirror and smile
  • take a twenty minute nap
  • write down a couple of lines in your journal about how you feel (or type it, or do whatever will make you feel better)
  • make a list of 5 or 10 things that make you feel happy, go back to them next time you’re feeling down
  • stretch a little - stretching, like all physical activity, releases endorphins, which boosts your mood
  • tidy your room up a little, if you can. the lack of clutter will make you feel as if you can breathe more easily - making your bed is a quick way to make it feel more put together with little effort
  • drink some tea
  • go for a short walk, maybe hunt some pokemon - like I said exercise = endorphins = better mood

Ubbe Ragnarsson x Reader
Part II - Part III

Request: OMG IM LOVING YOUR UBBE SERIES! If you’re still taking requests can you maybe write another Ubbe x reader fic? where he always gives the reader hickies? Like if he’s jealous or if he just wants to tease/distract her, or whenever he’s had a rough day and needs comfort etc. Sorry if that’s a bit vague hahA. Thank you kindly 💕 
Words: 1676

You gasped by the force you were smacked against the wooden wall of the shed, in a good way. He placed his lips on the lower of you throat. He held your leg up aside his body, pressing you more against the wall while his hand stroke over your leg, under your skirt. You moaned when you felt his body so close to your. ‘Ubbe stop it.’ You laughed when you felt how his lips sucked against your throat. It didn’t hurt but it would leave a ferm mark afterwards. He pulled back, looking down you throat before meeting your eyes.
‘To late.’ He said with that boyish grinn of accomplishment on his face. You cupped his face and pulled his lips back to yours. He let go of you leg, traveling his hand up over your clothes squeezing your breast.
‘Was it such a bad day?’ You asked out of breath by the desire he runs through your body. He rested his hands on both sides of your hips, leaning his forehead against yours.
‘Arwfull. Mother is always complaining and Ivar had one of his moods again.’
‘Ivar always has those moods.’ You corrected him with a loving voice, placing a kiss against his cheek before you looked back to him. ‘I’m here, for whatever you need me to.’ You said playfull. He hummed approvingly, his lips lingering just over yours.
‘What should I do without you?’ He asked. You caressed his cheecks kissing him slowly, gently.
‘I don’t know, you never will find out either. But I need to go Ubbe, my father needs me.’ You whispered. He opened his eyes and looked at, slowly nodding. He said you goodbye, with a kiss you hardly could withstand.
‘Come back as soon as you can.’
‘Thank you for this,’ You pointed to the mark his lips left on your throat.
‘It’s so you wont forget me.’ He winked. Walking you out of the shed you both hidded in.
‘I could never forget you Ubbe Ragnarsson.’ You twirled around you own body and walked away with that lingering feeling down in your stomach.

You and your father lived on the egde of Kattegat. When you arrived home he wasn’t there so you walked out to fresh yourself up, splashing some water into your face you looked to your own reflexion. You pulled the colar of your clothes a little down and looked to the mark stained in your skin. You smiled, still feeling every place he touched you on your body. ‘What is that.’ Your father jerked you away from the water, holding tight of your neck in the back while he looked to your throat.
‘Nothing, father, please.’ You tried to pull away from him but he hold on fermly. ‘You’re hurting me.’ You hissed. He wasn’t the old kind of guy you could easily push away. He was for years one of the raidingscompanions of Ragnar Lothbrok, Ragnar leaving Kattegat changed him completly. He drank to much, picked fights and he certainly didn’t approved of you hanging around boys. So he didn’t know about you and Ubbe … or Hvitserk from time to time.
‘Who is it?’ He asked, a breath of ale coming your way when he spoke.
‘Father, please let go of me!’ You shouted, kicking your hand against his chest. He let go of your neck, holding you on your wrist instead. You stroke your hand over your neck and looked back at him. ‘You’re drunk, go in and sleep it off.’ You pointed inside. People started looking and you felt ashamed. You tried to get your wrist loose from his grip, planning on running of the first change you got.
‘Not before you tell me who did that. Was it one of Ragnar his sons?’ He asked, knowing of the repurtation they brought around. You frooze for a moment, he saw it hand spitted on the ground, pulling you with him.
‘Father no!’ You started begging.
‘I’m gonna learn that boy a lesson.’ He didn’t even knew witch boy it was. But the humiliation of the moment, you felt so ashamed in the way he treated you. He pulled you the whole way to the great hall, halfway you started to stop protesting because everybody was already watching you. So you walked head down, angry after him unil before the great hall. Your wrist hurted like hell, it would leave more visual marks than those from Ubbe.
‘Please father, let’s go back home.’ You said on a softer voice, hoping it would calm him down.
‘Boys!’ He yelled. You went to stood before him, pushing against his chest in the hope he would move his drunk ass back home.
‘Y/n?’ You turned around to Ubbe.
‘Please go back in.’ You begged him. Your father grabbed you with your hair, showing your throat for everybody to see.
‘Do you touch my daughter?’ He asked angry. He hurted you, pulling your head so much back. And you saw nothing good in Ubbe his eyes either. By all the gods, why were you hanging around those boys.

‘Let her go.’ Ubbe said on a calm voice. Your father let loose of your hair and you looked aside to him, begging hem to go back home, tears already welling up in your eyes.
‘You’re a shame for this village!’ You father spitted out.
‘Father please, I love him, he takes better care of me than you ever did.’ You tried. But Ubbe was already close enough. Despite his anger his touch was soft, trying to pull you away from your father. But he still holded your wrist.
‘Let her go.’ Ubbe repeated himself, his hand resting on his sword. Your father looked down to it.
‘You want to fight me?’
‘What is going on brother?’ Hvitserk asked walking out. Oh god, not him to. Hvitserk looked from Ubbe to you and to your father who holded your wrist. He came the few stairs off and right at the three of you.
‘Hvitserk,’ But to late. You father let go of you and lashed out to Hvitserk, kicking him right in the face. Ubbe pulled you away from your father and drew his sword. You ran around him and crouched down aside Hvitserk.
‘You alright?’ You asked concerned.
‘Nothing some love can’t fix.’
‘This isn’t funny Hvitserk.’ You reacted in despair.
‘No, let me help my brother.’ He placed a kiss on your cheek and hurried up. You stood up and turned around, one drunk viking against to younger less experienced vikings.
‘What is going on?’ A voice sneaked the shivers down your spine. You looked over your shoulder to Aslaug who stood aside Sigurd in the doorway of the great hall.
‘Nothing mother, go back inside. We are defending the honor of a girl.’ Hvitserk said.
‘Nobody is defending the honor of nobody.’ Aslaug reacted with a stern voice. She trew you a sharp look before she turned to the man, your father. ‘Please, leave my sons be.’ She asked him rather nicely. Nobody took it on with Aslaug, she wasn’t maybe a shieldmaiden like Lagertha was but she had quite the power of intimidation. You father took a step back, lowering his axe.
‘They stay away from my daughter.’ He hissed. Aslaug nodded and your father walked away, not looking over his shoulder towards you. He didn’t took the direction home, he went right back for ale.
‘You heared what the man said, leave her alone.’ Aslaug warned them, but mostly she warned you. You looked down to your wrist, his marks bleu printed on your skin. You started walking in the opposit direction of your father angry of what happened. Angry that you had a father like that.

It didn’t took him long, to come after you. You where gazing over the water when his hands sneaked around you from behind, turning you concerned back to him. ‘Y/n, you alright?’ He asked.
‘Do I see like I look alright Ubbe.’ You reacted angry. He pulled you closer in an embrace. You let your head rest against his chest, feeling his chin resting on your head brought you a little peace back.
‘Did he hurt you?’ He asked after a little while. You pulled back, looked up to him and shook you head.
‘I can handle it.’
‘It didn’t look like it Y/n.’ He protested softly. You sighned and let your head rest back against his chest.
‘He was drunk. That’s all.’ You whispered. Ubbe laid his hand against your cheek and looked down on you.
‘You can stay at our place.’
‘Can’t, your mother doesn’t want you to be around me.’
‘My mother has nothing to say.’ Like he wanted to prove you that he placed his lips on yours. You stroke his jawline and pulled back. ‘Stay. Hvitserk will come to.’
‘The both of you?’ You asked a little confused.
‘Can’t make your day good on my own after that.’ He said, stroking his hands over your back. You relaxed again. He strangled his fingers through yours and noticed your wrist ‘Y/n.’
‘It’s nothing.’ You protested. ‘The next time you leave me something to remember, do it lower.’ You smiled while biting your lip a little.
‘Is that an invitation?’ He asked. You shook your head and pushed against his chest. Ubbe started walking, his arm protective over your shoulder. You felt safe, secure. But on the way over to his home you looked for your father but he was nowhere to be found. You walked in before him and looked to Hvitserk who was eating … again.
‘You alright love?’ He asks concerned. Ubbe let loose of you and you walked over to Hvitserk who looked to your wrist.
‘It is alright. You both are way to concern.’ You smiled to the both of them. Hvitserk placed a kiss against the inside of your wrist. ‘Nothing a little love can’t fix.’ You repeated his earlier words.
‘Whatever you want love.’ Hvitserk reacted, giving his brother a promessing look while saying it …

shiinayumi  asked:

Yaaay Fatgum love!! Can I get a scenario of Fatgum being gone on a long mission like months long and when he comes home his civilian s/o just had his baby? And he had no idea they where even pregnant because they weren't able to even talk really at all :3? I imagine him ugly crying tears of joy but it's in your hands dear awesome amazing writer :3 <3! I'm a sucker for this kind of dramatic fluffy crap 😂

This is so freaking adorable, I actually teared up reading and writing it. I’m using this to cleanse the sin of the last two requests I answered from my mind. I hope this is good enough for you! <3

Fatgum had been on special assignment for seven months. He had been part of a team with several other pro heroes that were sent to Hokkaido to track a ring of drug pushers. Fat, having been a former police officer and having worked on a large case connected to that one, was included for his expertise in that area. It was a secret assignment, he hadn’t been able to tell his fiancee anything about the mission, other than that he would be gone for a long while and wouldn’t be able to communicate with her.

It had pained Fat to be apart from her for so long, and without being able to communicate with her at all. He knew she’d be waiting for him when he came home, but he wondered if she was okay on her own like that. He worried a lot, especially as they got closer to resolving the case. He was anxious to get home to her, he had big plans for when he got back.

Seven months came and went, he hadn’t been able to communicate with his love at all, but finally they has shut down the drug operation, arrested the criminals and villains involved, and he was able to return to Osaka.

The train would take too long, so he caught a flight from Sapporo to Osaka, and then took the train back to the neighborhood where he and his fiancee lived. He hadn’t told her he was on his way home once he had gotten off the flight from CTS to KIX, he wanted to surprise her. He made some stops before going home; he went and bought her a large bouquet of her favorite flowers, as they were in bloom at the time, a large box of her favorite mochi, and a beautiful opal necklace as a gift to apologize for being away for so long.

When Fat arrived at their apartment, he saw his fiancee dancing around the living room with an infant in her arms, singing along to one of their favorite songs. At first he thought he was dreaming, but as he continued to watch her with the baby, he realized that was real life, she was standing in front of him with a little baby in her arms.

His finacee heard him beginning to cry, and she looked over in time to see him using his free hand to wipe away his tears.

“Look who’s here!” She said to the baby, looking back to them, “Daddy is home!”

Fat felt as though his heart was going to burst at her words; he hadn’t known, he had left before she found out she was pregnant.

“Are you bein’ serious?” Fat asked, unable to keep himself from crying as he looked over the two of them.

“You left a few weeks before I found out,” She answered, starting to tear up as well, “I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t find any way to contact you… So… We’ve been waiting here for you to come home!”

Fat set the gifts he’d gotten for her down on the entertainment stand before going to her and pulling her into a warm hug, being careful not to crush their child; he’d brought her gifts, but she’d given him the best one of all.

The baby was a little girl, she had been born two weeks before Fat returned home, and she looked a lot like Fat had when he was a baby himself. He knew immediately that she was his little girl, and he fell in love as soon as he got a good look at her.

He cried harder when his fiancee let him hold their daughter, repeating over and over again how much he loved both his fiancee and their baby girl. I love you so much, I love you both.

He was smiling, though, he couldn’t stop smiling, and when his little girl smiled back at him, he cried harder than before. He hadn’t known that infants could smile like that. This was his baby, he was a father, and he hadn’t even known that it was going to happen.

He was in awe of his fiancee being able to hold down the fort without him, and he thought even more highly of her than he had before leaving, knowing how much of a struggle it must have been for her without him there by her side during a time when she really could have used him.

He spent the rest of the evening holding his daughter, asking his fiancee all sorts of questions about their little one, and allowing her to rest while he took care of the baby and all of the chores that needed to be done. He had so much love for the two of them, even though he hadn’t been expecting to meet the newest member of their family, not that soon.

He’d thought it was years off, fatherhood, but he had been blessed with a precious little girl only two and a half years after first meeting the love of his life. He would do everything in his power to take care of them, and to love and cherish them. They were his world.

He constantly checked on his daughter overnight, making sure she was still there, that she was real, that she wasn’t just a figment of his imagination. And she was there, in her crib, every time he went to look at her.

Hi, I’m just gonna sit over here squealing because:
- ‘teachable moments’
- Cas sniffing the waitress to see if she actually smells like food (because if dean thinks its important, it is)
- hang on hold the phone everybody CASSIE LOVES HIS FAMILY
- Crowley you emotionally constipated cutie we know you love us
- Mary is a sly slithering lying snake I hate her
- also: MARY WINCHESTER’S “boys” INCLUDES CASTIEL. The world turns! the sun is up and Mama Winchester is the love of my soul!
- the colt!!
In short, whichever fan fiction author is holding the writers hostage, I AM LOVING YOU.

Jungle boy part 3 (Calum)*


whoops you know what that little star in the title means!! and for you who don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, smut is on the way!! 

If smut isn’t your thing then I suggest you to skip this part (I’ll give you a quick sum up if you message me)

PART 1    PART 2


“No!” you laugh, “not like that!” 

You take the camera out of his hands, “this is how you should hold it, and then you press right here when you want to take a picture,” you explain, showing him where the button is before handing it back to him. 

He immediately presses the button and lets out a surprised sound when the flash goes off, dropping the camera to the ground. 

You pick it up and grab the photo that instantly comes out. “Look!”

You hold it up for him and he leans forward to look at it closely. It’s not the greatest picture you’ve seen, though, all you can see is the top of your head and the trees behind you. But Calum seems to think it’s a masterpiece, clapping his hands and nodding with a huge smile on his face, and you can’t help but laugh when he excitedly jerks the camera out of your hands to take more.

It’s your second day at the tribe, you had slept in your tent during the night and had had your own breakfast in the morning, not wanting to disturb the people who live here more than necessary. 

It is almost noon now and the air is hot and humid, your dad had told you this morning that there would much likely be a storm later today (you are in a rainforest after all). 

You are back at the pond, sitting opposite to each other with the pond and the waterfall on your right. The cliff is shielding you from the sunlight, mostly at least and even though it is in the middle of the bright day, it is still just as beautiful as it was yesterday. You had brought your camera with you today, though, and Calum seems to be very curious of how it works.

“Look,” Calum says suddenly, making you turn your head and look his way right as the flash goes off again. 

“Hey,” you say, realizing that he just took a picture of you. “Let me see it.”

He gently grabs the photograph and studies it with big eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards in a smile before he looks at you. 

“Let me see, Calum!” you repeat, holding out your hand. He moves it to behind his back, hiding it from you. 

You roll your eyes, “at least let me take a photo of you!” you say and grab the camera out of his hands. You place it in front of your eye and squint, “Say cheese!” you say and press the button. 

Calum did neither smile or say cheese. 

You put the camera down and wait for the photo to dry before you look at it, Calum hurrying to your side to look over you shoulder. 

He is sitting with his legs crossed and his hands in his lap on the picture. He is looking into the lens with big eyes and his head tilted to the right, his hair hanging down his face and his cheeks tinted a lovely rose color. 

“See? That’s you, Calum,” you say, holding the picture closer to his face. He takes it from you and sits down on his arse on the ground, watching it intently. 

“Calum?” he asks after a while, pointing at himself.

You nod, “yes, that’s you. Can you see how beautiful you are?” 

“What beautiful?” he then asks, furrowing his eyebrows, looking between you and the picture. 

“It means that you are pretty,” you try to explain, but how the hell do you explain ‘beautiful’ to someone that barely knows any English? “Like the pond and the waterfall and the fireflies yesterday, that was beautiful.”

“Calum, pond?”

You let out a laugh, “no, you’re not a pond. But the pond is beautiful, just like you.”

He looks at you like he is in deep thought, probably trying to figure out what you are saying. But then he suddenly grabs the camera again, 

“Calum, wha-” you cut yourself off when he takes another photo of you. You were not prepared this time, and you can’t imagine it looking anywhere near good. 

He grabs the picture silently and looks at it. He then holds it up in front of your face. 

Your lips are parted and you are not even looking into the camera. Your hair looks messy and gross and your face is extremely shiny, the sun only hitting half of your body while the other half is shadowed by the cliff. You are just about to open your mouth to protest when Calum interrupts you, 

“Beautiful,” he says simply. “Y/N beautiful.” 

“You think I’m beautiful?” you ask, meeting his kind eyes. 

He nods quickly before he looks down at the photo, blushing. He carefully thumbs at the corners while smiling shyly. 

You don’t think you’ve ever seen Calum this…flustered, before. He looks so sweet and adorable and it makes you heart pound really fast in your chest, feeling how your own cheeks start to heat up all suddenly. 

It is silent for a few moments before Calum says your name, “Y/N?”

“Yeah?” You look to already find him staring at you, biting his lips nervously. He furrows his eyebrows again, trying to think of a way to express himself. “What are you thinking about?” you ask gently, taking his hand in yours. 

“W- Wha- uh…” he tries so hard to phrase what he is trying to say, but it eventually ends with him frustratedly rambling in his native language.

“Calum!” you say, grabbing both of his hands and making him look at you. “It’s okay. Calm down. Try again.”

He gaze switches between your lips and your eyes and with a defeated sigh he finally says, “Kiss.”

“You- you want me to kiss you?” you ask, just to be sure. Your voice stuttering a little bit. 

Calum nods and you can already see him inching closer to you, slowly and carefully. You can hear the water pouring in the background and if you’d close your eyes you are sure it would feel like it did yesterday when you were here, when it was dark and calm and all you could feel was the cool water and Calum’s heated body against yours. 

You lean in slowly, giving him time to pull away in case he changes his mind. But when you notice that he is leaning in as well, you bring a hand up to his cheek and press your lips to his. 

You can feel Calum sighing out when your lips finally touch, letting out a whining, breathy sound. 

Your hand moves to his neck to pull him closer. He tastes about the same as he did yesterday, sweet and salt, and his body feels just as hot against your skin when he touches you. 

It is still a little sloppy and your noses are still bumping into each other once in a while, but he is a fast learner and is really starting to get the hang of it. His lips are soft and they slide easily across yours. 

He lets out a little noise in protest when you pull away suddenly, but he shuts up immediately when you start placing wet kisses down his jaw and neck. He scoots closer to you and tilts his head a little bit, so that you can have better access. You suck lightly on a spot right below his left ear and he whines out quietly.

You pull away and Calum immediately reaches for your lips, connecting them in a desperate kiss. 

You try to get closer to him without breaking the kiss, but your knees bump into each other and you almost fall over. Calum grabs your hips quickly and keeps you steady while you back him up against the cliff wall, mouth still on his.

His back hits the wall and he immediately pulls you closer to him until your chests are flushed against each others. He’s not quite sure what to do with his hands and they keep roaming up and down your sides, shaking slightly. 

You put your legs on either side of his waist, sitting down in his lap. He lets out an approving sound and tries to get you even closer, if possible. 

Where is this really going? And how far is he willing to take it? 

You start wondering if you are actually taking advantage of him, since as far as you know, he doesn’t have any experience with this kind of stuff before. Maybe he doesn’t even know what you’re doing?

Your thoughts are interrupted when you feel Calum push his hips up into yours, letting out a low moan that seems to even surprise him. 

You pull away and meet his dark eyes, breathing heavily. “Okay?” you ask, searching his face for any sign of discomfort or hurt. 

“Okay.” he nods quickly, attaching his lips to your jaw. 

Jesus Christ…” you mumble, feeling his hands touch all over your body while his lips suck at your skin. You grind your hips down to meet his and you both let out a loud moan.

He involutarily ruts up into you again and a whine is muffled by your skin before he suddenly pulls away from your neck. 

He has a worried expression on his face, his eyebrows furrowed together in more of a panicked look than confused as he searches in your eyes.

“What is wrong, Calum?” you ask with worry, “tell me. Show me.” 

He brings his hand down between you, letting out another whine. “What?” he asks, looking between you and his tenting loincrotch. 

You almost breathe out in relief when you realize that he isn’t hurt, he just got a boner for probably one of the first times in his life. 

“It’s okay, Calum. It’s normal,” you say, grabbing his chin to make him look at you. You try not to get too affected by it, but there’s something about him getting hard without even realizing how or why, that makes it churn pleasantly in your stomach, a shiver running up your spine. 

He pushes at it desperately but hisses when he realizes that it doesn’t help, it just hurts. “Help?” he says, looking at you frantically. 

You lean in and press your lips to his again, pulling away you say, “calm down, nothing’s wrong, Calum. It’s okay.” You try your best to calm him down but you’re starting to suspect that you are trying to calm yourself down almost as much. 

You have a very hot and very hard jungle boy in front of you, asking for your help to fix his boner. You are pretty much freaking out. 

“I’ll help you, okay?” you say, breathing out shakily. Calum nods quickly and waits for you to do something. 

You close you eyes and take a deep breath to calm you down before you reach down with your hand and grip him through the thin fabric. You start to run your hand up and down, palming him slowly while watching his reaction.

His eyes almost roll back into his head and he lets out probably the loveliest sound you’ve ever heard. He pushes his hips up to meet your hand but your quickly use your other to hold him down, to which he protests a little but as soon as you press a little harder he shuts up.

“Y/N…” he moans out your name and throws his head back, gritting his teeth together as you increase the speed of your hand. 

He is so extremely beautiful in this moment, so open and not embarrassed at all. Sweat is starting to form by his temples and his hands are gripping tightly at your hips. He is not holding back one bit, just letting his body react the way it does and letting out the sounds that come with it. Absolutely stunning.

Calum suddenly opens his eyes and swats your hand away. At first you think that you took it too far and he got scared or summat, but then he lifts his hips up and desperately tugs his loincloth off, throwing it on the ground next to you.

His cock is resting against his stomach, flushed and hard and leaking. 

He makes a noise when he realizes that you’re not doing anything, pulling you out of your trance immediately. You had just been staring at it, paralyzed by the butterflies erupting in your stomach. 

You use his precome and a little bit of spit to smear over his length before you wrap your hand around it. Calum lets out a sigh in relief when he feels you touching him, but it soon turns into a moan when you start moving your hand, pumping him up and down. 

He is flushed all the way down his chest from his cheeks, his chest rising and falling irregularly but rapidly. You can tell that he is trying his hardest not to thrust up into your hand, clenching his jaw tightly. 

You can also tell that he is close by the way his eyes aren’t really able to focus anymore and the way his muscles are clenching underneath his skin. 

He says something that you don’t understand, but what you think could very likely be a swear word if you didn’t know Calum better. He is way too sweet and carefree to know those kind of words. 

Suddenly his whole body tenses up and his eyes lock with yours. His lips part, but no sound is coming out. He shoots long stripes of come that lands on your hand but also on his stomach, some even reaches all the way to his chest. 

You slowly pump him through it, leaning in to capture his lips and swallow the moan he growls out. He kisses you back hungrily, pressing your body close to his.

Soon, he relaxes again. Letting out a breath and slumping back against the cliff, eyes closed and sweat running down his face and chest. 

“Okay?” you ask, kind of scared of the answer. You can both feel and hear your heart beating in your chest as you wipe your hand on the grass and wait for his reaction. He might as well have hated it, as far as you know. But if the sounds he was making is anything to go by, then you guess that he just had the first and the best orgasm of his life. 

His eyes flutter open and they land on you. His cheeks are flushed red and his hair is a little messier than usual, but boy does he look good. Some would say it would be a sin not to stare, so that’s exactly what you do.

If you could, you would take a picture of him right now and then frame and hang it on your wall so you would remember this moment forever.

He grabs at your hands and pull you down with him so that you are almost lying on top of him, “okay,” he says breathlessly, nodding. “Beautiful.”


A/N: well that was basically just smut… but I hope you liked it anyways! I didn’t think that this would be just smut, I thought thid would be longer, but then I decided to cut it here and make more parts instead! so the next part will probably not have smut in it but it will definitely be a lot angstier! thank you for reading and for sending me so much lovely messages! xx


My Idol 2: Part Five

My Idol
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

My Idol is a South Korean competitive reality dating game show. It currently airs on Wednesday nights on Jae-bummer’s blog. First broadcast in 2016, the show offers the opportunity for a lucky fan to go on seven blind dates with seven idols. The idol plans the date with the show throwing in specific missions to complete during the day. At the end of the initial dates, the show opens up an audience vote to decide what three idols will move on to the second date.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

Keep reading

Sweater Weather

Summary- Based off the song ‘Sweater Weather’ by The Neighborhood.

Word Count- 818

Pairing- Markiplier x Reader

Warnings- Fluff, mentions of smut, mentions of anxiety, anGST

A/n- Ahhhhh I didn’t mean for this to be angst but honestly I’m in love with this story.

Tags- @mycuddlycorner @winchester-negan-one-shots @not-moose-one-shots @mycuddlycornerold @dannnyphantomm

Keep reading

Originally posted by thatemmawatson

I’ll Always Come Back

Requested:  Some David fluff/smut.  It’s more smutty than fluffy, but I did attempt to add the fluff element.

Word Count: 2,426

Warnings: Sexy Time, swearing, mentions of mental illness, mentions of drug use

Author’s Note:  I tried to make this as gender neutral as possible!  Hope ya like it :)

Keep reading

A lovely Ending

Warning: Swearing. 

Authors Note: I would love some feed back.

Days during the summer, were the worst. Having thick curly locks was hard enough, when you can’t even tie it up without a couple of elastics breaking. There was a couple of positive things about having hair like mine, which was standing out from all of the flat ironed girls. I hated having ironed hair. It always smelled funny and boy, did my boyfriend always complain.

I loved when he would play with my hair. Stan, kind of had the same hair. His was shorter and more tamable. But anyway, when we were just friends I could remember all the times in which he would just run his finger through it and just play with it.

Stan and I having only been friends before I noticed the way he was acting towards me.

He would always hold open the door for me, or walk me home after a very long adventurous day. But he didn’t directly ask me out. He had told Richie and Richie wanted to tell me. It was very entertaining.

*Flash Back*

“Y/N”!!! someone yelled.

I looked up, and I saw Richie running towards me, with a very angry looking Stan behind him. When he made it to me, I stopped what I was doing in my locker to give him my full attention..

“Yes, Richie! What has made you bless me with your mighty presence”? I knew once that was out my mouth, I was in for it from trash mouth tozier.

“Y/N, not funny. I have some exciting news to tell you! But before I doO-

Stan all of a sudden tackled Richie to the ground. He seemed very upset, and boy did they both make a scene.

“Richie I swear, if you said anything I will kick your ass”!

“What would Richie say to me” I asked.

They both looked up, and before anything else can be comprehensible, Richie said something to me before Stan covered his mouth.


I was shocked. Stan liked me back. This was the best thing to ever happen! I could not wait to tell him that I feel the same way.

“Stan”? “STAN”? I yelled a bit louder.

I pulled the two arguing boys apart, and held Stans face in my hand. “Stan, I like you too”.

*Flashback ended*

I am just excited because today is our month anniversary. I was on my way to his house, when all of a sudden, I heard a car horn beeping behind me.


I stood frozen in my place for a quick second,that voice seemed familiar. Henry! I needed to run, before he can catch me. I started to run as fast as I could. And let me tell you, it was hard to keep away from them.

I thought if I could turn right here, than I could take the short cut to Stan’s house and be safe, but I didn’t remember it was a dead end. As I came to a halt, I could hear Henry and his gangs footsteps behind me.

“Oh look at what we have here boys! Awe why is little you alone”?

Before I could even register what was going to happen, Patrick and Vic grabbed me and was holding me still.

“LET ME GO”!! I kept repeating it.

“Can someone shut her the fuck up? Patrick, hold her fucking mouth shut”!

I couldn’t move or speak. I was struggling to get free. Oh god, all I could think about was Stan. He is going to think I ditched him.

“Hmm looky here boys, we got sweet ole’ little Y/N. What should we do”?

Henry said.

But the one thing that terrified me the most was when patrick spoke.

“We should cut her hair”!

No! They could not do that. My hair is who I am. What will people think of me. What will Stan think of me. I started to let out little whimpers, when I saw Henry pull out his switchblade. I was scared.

“Good idea”.

All of a sudden I could feel my hair getting cut through inch by inch. It hurt like hell, because it was a switchblade, and I feel as though he did slice the back of my neck a couple times.

“Awe! Look at the poor bitch crying”.

“HA-Ha! She looks like a deranged poodle”.

They were all laughing at me. My hair on the ground. Nothing left but a couple of strands.

“ Hey! Get away from her”!

Looking up I saw Stan, and the rest of the loser club.

“What are you going to do about it”?

“Probably cry to your mommy”?

“You are all just losers”!

Bowers gang kept terrorizing the boys, and I felt bad.

“Stop fucking with y/n and pick on someone your own fucking size”.

I could not believe it. They were trying to protect me.

“What the fuck did you just say”? Henry said.

“I believed he said, and I quote “ Stop fucking with y/n and pick on someone your own size”, Richie said.

I was shocked. Richie and Stan were standing up for me, with the rest of the losers club. And all I cared about was getting them out of here. I kicked Patrick’s leg that was closest to me, and I elbowed Vic in the stomach. When they both let go, I ran up behind Henry and pushed him down.

“Fuck you Bowers” I said.

I ran to Stan, and grabbed his hand. I jerked him away from everyone and ran. I heard footsteps behind us, and hoped it was the rest of our friends. After a couple blocks, we started to slow down. I looked at Stan, and I couldn’t help but to whisper in shock.

“He cut my hair”…

When the rest of our friends caught up with us, they stood around me and Stan, and just watched us.

“Y/N, I think you still look as beautiful as the day I met you”.

anonymous asked:

Could you do 'I brought my kitten to school, hold her please while I kick this guys ass' with wolfstar, please? Pretty please with a cherry on top!

Remus was going to be late. He knew he was going to be late and on his first day at a new school no less. Remus had been homeschooled for the first fifteen years of his life, but now his parents had decided that he needed to get “socialized.” 

It was raining out and Remus hadn’t thought to bring a brolly. Instead he had his hood up and his hands shoved into his pockets, the rain soaking through his clothes. He was going to be a hot mess by the time he arrived at school. He tried ducking in and out of doorways in an effort to not be completely dripping, but that was only taking more time that he couldn’t afford.

He was walking past an alleyway when he heard a soft meow. His heart broke a little to think of a tiny kitten alone in the rain. He made his way into the alley and found the kitten under some boxes. He cooed some soft words as he picked it up. The poor kitten was drenched from the rain. Remus petted its little head and then slipped it into the front pocket of his hoodie. 

He didn’t want to walk too fast in fear of jostling the kitten. He was going to be so late.

When he finally arrived at his school, he could only hope that he had saved the baby kitten from some of the rain that was soaked through his clothes. He went into the main office and explained to the secretary who he was. She gave him a packet with information about the school and directed him to the classroom he needed.

He was mouthing her directions to himself to make sure he got it right when he heard something weird. It sounded like knuckles cracking. He turned the corner and saw three guys surrounding one. “Hey Black,” one taunted, circling the bloke in the middle. “How’d you like to lick these nuts?” 

The bloke in the middle merely smiled. “If you had any balls, Mulciber, maybe I’d consider licking them. Even then it’s a slim chance.”

“I bet you would, fag,” the bloke named Mulciber said, spitting maliciously at the one called Black. 

“Did my brother send you three after me or did you come up with the idea all on your lonesome?” Black teased, watching the three circle him like hungry predators. “Lord knows you three aren’t the brightest but between you maybe you can have an actual thought.”

“You callin’ us dumb, Black?” 

“Uh, yeah,” Black answered, rolling his eyes. “I swear all my wit is completely lost on you three. I might as well make jokes at the wall.”

The one that was standing behind Black grabbed him by the arms to restrain him. Mulciber grinned and brought his fist back.

Remus reacted immediately. “Hey!” he called out, hurrying down the corridor. 

“Who the hell are you?” Mulciber asked, his face scrunching up in confusion. 

“Let him go,” Remus said, his hands curling into fists. 

“Hey new kid, mind your own business,” the guy holding Black said.

“Let him go,” Remus repeated, taking a step forward. “Or you’ll regret it.”

Mulciber scoffed. “What are you going to do?”

Remus sighed and lunged forward, punching the third bloke in the nose. It immediately began to bleed and the guy clutched it, letting out a startled screech. 

Remus straightened up as the other two advanced on him. Black was no longer restrained and he was looking at Remus with a curious expression. “You two looking for the same treatment?” Remus asked them.

Mulciber looked over at his companion. “We’re going to kick your arse, isn’t that right, Avery?”

“You’re a dead man,” Avery agreed with a sneer.

“Just one second,” Remus said, holding up a finger. He walked over to where Black was and gently took the kitten out of his hoodie. Avery and Mulciber looked at him with puzzled expressions. “I found this little guy in the alley on my way to school. Would you mind holding him? I don’t want him to get hurt.”

Black looked up at him and blinked. “I think I love you,” he said, taking the kitten and holding it delicately in his hands.

Remus laughed. “Let me kick these guys asses and then we can discuss it,” he told him before straightening up. Mulciber and Avery were waiting for him, fists raised.

Remus blocked Mulciber’s initial punch and kicked out his leg, his foot landing squarely in Avery’s crotch and sending him to his knees in pain. Mulciber growled and swung again. Remus ducked out of the way and then slammed his foot down on Mulciber’s foot. He let out an “oof” of surprise before Remus punched him in the face, sending him stumbling back. 

“What a psycho,” Avery said, gently cupping his privates as he got to his feet. “Let’s get out of here.”

Mulciber seemed to agree as the three of them stumbled away. Remus shook out his hand and sighed. “Not the kind of first day I was expecting,” he said, kneeling down beside Black. “Are you okay?”

Black nodded and handed the kitten back to Remus. “I’m thinking a June wedding,” he said with a grin.

Remus chuckled and shook his head. “Does stuff like this always happen around here?” 

“Eh,” Black shrugged. “Not too often. Those idiots like the cause grief for me sometimes. Disappointment to my family and all that. Oh yeah, and I happen to be gay. So they’re not my biggest fans.”

Remus smiled softly. “I guess they won’t be fans of me either, then.” He held out his hand to Black, the kitten so tiny he could hold it in one hand. “Remus Lupin.”

“Sirius Black. Thanks for saving me and all that.” 

“Not a problem.”

Sirius looked at the small kitten with his head cocked to the side as if contemplating something. “Were you going to keep the kitten?” 

“Oh no,” Remus said, shaking his head. “I was just going to make sure the little guy got a good home. I’m not allowed to have pets because my mum’s allergic.”

“I’ve got an idea,” Sirius said, getting to his feet. “We’re going to go see Minnie.”

“Who?” Remus asked, following after him.

“Professor McGonagall,” Sirius explained, glancing over at Remus. “She’s really into cats.”

They arrived at Professor McGonagall’s office and Remus was nervous about meeting her. He didn’t want to get in trouble for bringing a cat onto the school premises. 

“Minnie!” Sirius exclaimed, bounding into her office. “I have the best news ever.”

McGonagall looked at Sirius over the top of her glasses. “Mr. Black, shouldn’t you be in class?”

Sirius waved her off. “I got jumped in the hallway. That’s not the good news though.”

McGonagall looked concerned. “Mr. Black, I expect you to give me a full report of the incident.”

“I will, I will,” Sirius said with a huff. “But first…” Sirius held his arms out as if presenting Remus to her.

Remus shyly stepped forward and placed the kitten on her desk. Both boys watched as the severe looking woman physically melted at the sight. “Oh my,” she said, clapping her hands together. “Who is this?” 

“A little stray I found in the alley,” Remus spoke up. “I didn’t want him to be out in the rain all alone.”

“Of course not,” McGonagall said, picking up the kitten and holding it to her chest. 

“Remus isn’t allowed to have pets,” Sirius explained. “So I told him you might like to keep the little guy.”

McGonagall gave him a pointed look. “Little girl,” she corrected. 

“Oh, sorry, my bad,” Sirius responded sheepishly. “So, what do you say, Minnie?” 

“I’d be delighted, Mr. Black,” she said warmly, rubbing her cheek against the kitten’s fur. She then seemed to remember herself and her face grew hard again. “Now both of you off to class this instant.” 


As they walked together towards their classrooms, Sirius’ fingers kept brushing over Remus’ as if he were trying to hold his hand. Remus couldn’t help smiling to himself at the idea. Sirius was extremely attractive and Remus couldn’t stop looking over at him. He had no idea why someone would want to hurt him.

“Any plans for lunch?” Sirius asked, finally breaking the silence between them. 

Remus shook his head. “I haven’t thought that far in advanced.”

“Good,” Sirius responded, grinning at him. “You’ll sit with me and my friends. They’re great, you’ll love them. They’re not at all like those dickheads my brother insists on hanging out with.”

“I’d like that,” Remus said, smiling appreciatively over at Sirius.

“Besides, we’ve got lots of wedding plans to get through,” Sirius joked, finally taking Remus’ hand in his own.

“Now hold up, I haven’t said yes yet,” Remus reminded him teasingly.

“Who could say no to this face?” Sirius said, giving Remus puppy dog eyes and whining quietly.

Remus laughed and gave Sirius’ hand a small squeeze. “How about we start with a date first?” he suggested. “Work our way up to the marriage.”

Sirius shrugged and pulled Remus tighter against him as they continued walking in tandem. “It’s not the way I would have gone, but I guess we could try it.”

“Thank you,” Remus said, pressing a kiss to Sirius’ temple. He was surprised by how quickly he felt comfortable in Sirius’ presence. Remus never felt comfortable around anyone. There was just something about Sirius that put him at ease.

They arrived at Sirius’ classroom and reluctantly pulled apart. Remus’ own classroom was just down the hall. “We’re so incredibly late,” Remus said, sighing.

“Don’t worry, just tell them you got lost, they’ll understand,” Sirius told him with a wink.

Remus chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind. I should go though. See you at lunch?”

“Definitely,” Sirius said with a nod. “I miss you already, my love!” Sirius pressed his hand to his forehead as if swooning and then swanned into his classroom.

Remus grinned as he made his way to his own classroom. All eyes turned towards him as he stepped inside. “I, uh, got lost.” 

The difference between political power and any other kind of social “power,” between a government and any private organization, is the fact that a government holds a legal monopoly on the use of physical force. This distinction is so important and so seldom recognized today that I must urge you to keep it in mind. Let me repeat it: a government holds a legal monopoly on the use of physical force.
—  Ayn Rand
My Everyday Conditioning Exercises

Today has been one of those really productive days. I got up early and started the day with conditioning exercises, which I’m trying to do every morning now that my schedule is a little more manageable. I thought I would share my daily exercise routine with you, because they’re the sort of exercises and stretches that when done regularly make a dramatic difference to your technique. I got many of these exercises from Clarissa May’s YouTube videos, which I highly recommend! I just modified them to suit me, combined them with some of my own, and compiled it all into a routine I can do every day.

This routine is designed for someone who is already relatively strong and flexible- if you find any of these too hard right now, just modify them to make them easier or swap that exercise/ stretch for a less intense version. If you’re super strong and flexible, you can find variations on these exercises to make them more difficult. I find that this takes me between 90 minutes and 2 hours to complete- I allow 2 hours so that I don’t have to rush. I have the luxury of being able to do these in the morning, because I live opposite my ballet school and don’t have to be in until 10am, but any time of the day is fine- the key is doing them every day, or as many times a week as possible! I do my exercises after getting ready for class, but before breakfast.

ABS: I start by following an abs workout on an app on my phone- you can also find 5- 10 minute ab workouts on YouTube.


Butterfly stretch; lean forward with a straight lower back. Hold 30 secs.
Frog stretch 30 secs. Keep legs in frog and arch back into seal stretch, hold 30 secs and lower. In frog, try to lift right knee 5 times, then left, then both.
Bum stretches
If there’s room, start sitting up with legs straight out in front. Open legs to middle splits, roll forwards and bring legs into frog behind. Reverse and repeat 3 times.
Use theraband to practice lifting and lowering leg to passé with resistance.

Middle lunges to both sides, and middle splits, holding 40 seconds each
Go to barre (or chair etc.) and use hand to help lift leg as high as possible, keeping hip down and legs straight and turned-out, and ribs in. Let go of leg, then let go of barre. Repeat other side.
Side plank on each side, adding 5 seconds every day.
SPLITS (I have added extra time for my left leg as this is my less flexible leg and I am working towards evening them)

Lunge right leg front 30 secs. Lunge left leg 40 secs.
Sitting hamstring stretch 30 secs.
Seal stretch 30 secs, then child’s pose 30 secs.
Middle lunges again, 10 secs each side.
Hold middle splits for 1 minute. Stretch to the right side and hold for 30 secs, then the same on the left. Walk forwards and hold for 40 seconds. Straighten knees completely, lifting feet to stretch hyperextension (Do NOT do this if you do not have naturally hyperextended knees as you will cause damage)
Hold right leg front splits for 1 minute. Flex right foot, hold it (/pull upwards if knees are hyperextended) and put head on leg- hold for 30 secs. Stretch backwards as far as possible and hold 40 secs. Repeat left, but hold splits for 90 seconds instead of 1 minute to begin with.
Start stretching over splits on something small, and keep increasing in size.

Seal stretch as far as possible 30 secs
Arabesque lifts, facing barre/ chair lift leg as high as possible in arabesque maintaining turnout, straight knees, pointed foot and hold back up. Lift and lower with control- start with 10 and increase. Repeat other leg.
Slow back lifts lying on the floor- start with 10 and add.
Lift back as high as possible, put arms in 3rd position (or 5th) and hold for 20 seconds. Add 5 seconds every day, then when it’s easy, add holds in with the back lifts.
Back lifts in frog stretch positon: start with 10 then add.
Seal stretch, bend knees, grab ankles and try to put ankles on shoulders. I can’t actually do this yet but I try every day!
Stand facing barre and pull leg up behind you into full standing split. Let go and try to hold- repeat both sides.
For needle: right-leg front splits, lean back and grab left leg, pulling head towards that back leg. Be very very careful not to pinch your back doing this. Repeat other side.
Child’s pose 1 minute. Then stand up, slouch the shoulders a lot and lean to one side- you should get a great back stretch.

30 plie- releves
20 ankle rolls each way, on each foot
Downward dog: lift right leg to 180 degrees and pulse for 30 secs, then repeat left. Then grande battement in this position, lowering with control, 20 times on each leg.

Roll out bottom of feet with foot massager or tennis ball
Stretch calfs and achilles
Standing on a balance disk, stand on 1 foot with the other in parallel sur le coup de pied and rock slowly from ball to heel for 30 seconds, then repeat on the other leg. Add 5 seconds every day.
Sit on the floor with legs out in front. Wrap a medium or thick theraband around toes. Point and flex 10 times each foot. 10 point and flex, keeping toes down and just moving ankle. Point and flex 10 times keeping toes lifted in demi pointe. 20 circles each way. Winging 10 times each foot.
Scrunch up a towel or cloth using only one foot, then the other. 20 arch lifts each foot.
40 releves in 1st poition, then 20 on each foot with the other foot in a turned-out sur le coup de pied position.
Stand in 2nd position on demi-pointe and shift weight from side-to-side, pushing the toes off the ground, 30 times.
30 tendus to each side.

Walk through shoes in parallel, then bend knees, roll on to pointe, straighten knees and lower slowly, 10 times. Repeat in 1st position.
20 releves on each foot with the other foot in a turned-out sur le coup de pied position.
20 releves in first position.
20 tendus to each side, working through the shoe, then when foot is extended in tendu, spring from demi to full pointe. Do 4 sets of 8 on each side.
Push over the shoe, holding for 30 secs, then straighten knee but try to keep foot in position. Repeat to other side, and front and back both sides.
Cross one led over the other and plie in parallel to stretch foot, keeping weight over big toe, Repeat other foot.
Remove shoes and stretch calves.
Now you’re done! You can do part or all of these exercises, but do some every day and you’ll really notice a change. Don’t forget to drink loads of water during and after! In addition to these exercises I’ll do at least one 90 minute class a day, and on some days when I have the time I try to do another workout, such as a run, swimming, pilates or the gym.

I hope this was helpful, keep dancing!

Jessica x