hogwarts-houses

  • Slytherin: (dealing with a bunch of assholes)
  • Gryffindor: (tries to save her)
  • Slytherin: Beat it, Gryff. I'm okay.
  • Gryffindor: But...aren't you a damsel in distress?
  • Slytherin: I'm a damsel.
  • Slytherin: I'm in distress.
  • Gryffindor: ??
  • Slytherin: I can handle this.
  • Gryffindor: ?????
  • Slytherin: *dismissive* Have a nice day.
  • Slytherin: (proceeds to fuck up the person who was messing with her)
9

~Rowena Ravenclaw~ 

“The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world.” 

The Houses as Space Things

Hufflepuff: 

The vast expanses of darkness where nothing seems to exist. Silence. There’s no sound in space, so everything is quiet. Vast. Empty. It’s a terrifying thing. A calming one. That expanse is opportunity, is hopeful, is promising. It’s gentle. Quiet, empty, infinite…maybe. It’s a place for fear, and contemplation, and wondering. A place for pausing, for thinking, and travel, and fear. A place for the in-betweens, the moments where there is nothing significant, and yet everything is breathtaking. So large, so powerful, so undefined…and yet when we wonder over space, it’s one of the last things we ever care to think about.

Ravenclaw: 

Miles upon miles of stars. Each with their own stories, each labeled by us as we look into the sky and point at them. The constellations shift with perspective, just as everything always does. At a point, the stars are no longer familiar. Unnamed. New. Brimming with potential. Perhaps we’ll learn them some day. Perhaps we’ll tell new stories. Stars are burning things, are deadly, and yet we hold them close: for beauty, for sharing, for stories. Because of the stars, we wish to explore. We tilt our heads back and yearn, yearn, yearn. How easy to forget that we are down here, and they are light-years away in all of their burning brilliance.

Gryffindor: 

Galaxies and the potential for exploration. The names that we come up with for the things we have already seen and the others that we wish to discover. We dream of spaceships and other life. Of galactic battles, and new homes, and communication. There are dangers, they come with the prospect of space. Death. Failure. Loneliness. But we push. We build, and we dream, and we tell each other about what we will discover. The books, the movies, the theories, they pile up as though we already know, as if we were already there. Far away is an unknown, and we strive for it, reach for it. “What’s out there?” we ask each other. We wonder if we’ll ever know, and yet we continue to dream about what the universe holds.

Slytherin: 

The planets that are nothing like our own. They might be round, with dirt, and moons, and atmosphere, but they are not Earth. No. They are not Earth. Some might be red while others lack water. Ringed, cold, burning, gaseous, tiny. They are not Earth. We name them, it’s what we do, it’s how we pretend to know them, but they are not Earth, will never be Earth. And yet, despite this, we love them. We love the possibility, the challenge, the risk. We love to strive for something that is not possible, not yet. For “Not Earth,” but maybe still ours, in its own way. Maybe one day we won’t be here, but out there, on a yellow planet with different creatures and weather we can’t imagine. The possibilities are endless as we look to the other planets. Not Earth. It’s the possibilities, the differences, that make us strive to one day set foot upon their surfaces.

  • Gryffindor: *trips*
  • Hufflepuff: Are you ok?
  • Gryffindor: Totally. I'm like a cat. I always land on my feet.
  • Ravenclaw: Actually that's a myth. Cats don't always land on their feet.
  • Gryffindor: Really? I thought they always did.
  • Slytherin: Not if they're dead.
Waverly Earp hogwarts house

Originally posted by princesdianas

this is pt. 1 of my wynonna earp hogwarts houses and sorting

let’s start as I usually do with looking at the different characteristics of the character and pin point which house that falls into and over all  what house they show the most of

- she is loyal to her family (hufflepuff)

- she is accepting of people and acknowledges that they can be better (hufflepuff)

- she studies things like the family history, (ravenclaw)

- she is creative (ravenclaw)

- she makes split second decision based on all  of the knowledge she has (ravenclaw)

- is willing to jump into the fight (gryffindor)

- looks at all angles and thinks through a situation (ravenclaw)

- Is willing to manipulate in order to save the people she loves (slytherin)

over all I would sort Waverly Earp into Ravenclaw 

let me know any characteristics of the houses you saw in  waverly to expand on this

there are four types of people:

neon signs, biting your lip, adrenalin, late night talks, vintage vinyls, raspberries

journals and stationery, whispers, feeling sleepy, browsing wikipedia for 2 hours, streets in foreign cities, sculptures

daisies, the sound of laughter, pressed flowers, genuine compliments, oversized sweaters

marble, sarcasm, old books, lightning, skyscrapers, crystals, proving them wrong

Houses as Tumblr Text Posts Part Six
  • Gryffindor: We live in a disgusting dystopian society where swordsmanship isn't a respected college major
  • Hufflepuff: I'm upset because I want to change the world but the world is too big and people are too mean
  • Ravenclaw: Was anyone else called gifted when they were younger and now struggle with standards and realizing everyone else caught up?
  • Slytherin: My talents include avoiding difficult conversations and getting sad over things I saw coming
Things the Hogwarts Houses say

(loosely based on conversations I’ve had/overheard)

Hufflepuff -

  • “If you don’t start singing along to High School Musical with me in under 30 seconds you will no longer be my best friend" 
  •  "I swear on my chicken nuggets-”
  • “Yes I made that joke up by my self - no it’s not from Spongebob Squarepants how dARE YOU-”
  • “Speaking of Spongebob can we just take a few moments to discuss how much of a masterpiece that first movie was please”
  • “Ah yes, it’s 3 in the morning, time to get emotional and tell all my friends how much I love them”
  • “You made me chocolate??? Oh my God I love you so much thank you I’ll have some right no - THIS HAS RAISINS IN IT YOU TRICKED ME
  • “Oh my God yeah I saw that movie, my favourite part was when - oh shit wait there’s this adorable kitten video I meant to show you last week and I completely forgot let me get it up on my phone”
  • “Sorry I’m late I was up all night watching those videos where kids get surprised with puppies”
  • “Are you awake? Great, let’s start planning our future homes together, I have a pinterest board ready”
  • “This is my favourite photo album! It’s full of photos of all the cats and dogs I’ve made friends with on my walks, I’ve even given them all names”
  • (crying) “Stop calling me emotional God damn it”

Ravenclaw -

  •  "Of course I remember you said you liked the colour red, you told me at like 1:35 am last year in May"
  • “What? Simplifying equations? No, I can’t help with that but I do know all the words to every Simpsons episode in the first 5 seasons if that helps"
  • “Sorry I really can’t go out today. No I’m fine, I’m just stressed I’m doing something important. I’m trying to memorise all the words to this documentary about frogs - What? Yes of course it’s important!”
  • “I discovered and fully analysed that meme 3 weeks ago, step up your game”
  • “What do you mean why do I have a folder full of strategic plans on how to succeed at animal crossing, that’s not weird?”
  • “Sir, I don’t mean to be rude but I’ve been doing my own research and you’re getting all of this wrong. Well yes I know I’m not the teacher here but - Yes, actually, I’d love to teach the class my self I’ve already made a lesson plan, thank you”
  • No, I won’t come and see Jurassic World with you. Because it’s completely unrealistic! Do you have any idea what dinosaurs are actually supposed to have sounded and looked like? Even adult velociraptors weren’t meant to be that b - OK you know what, I will come, but I’ll be pointing out every single problem to you. No, it’s too late, you already invited me. I’m buying our tickets right now, don’t move”
  • “You really think you can beat me at Mario Kart? I have spent YEARS studying this game and honing my skills, spending hours upon hours training until my hands cramp and even my tv is judging the amount of time I’ve spent playing and you think YOU can beat me? Let’s fucking go
  • “I think these guys think I want to murder them because I followed them home but it’s only because I overheard them talking about what would happen if Pokemon is real and I wanted to see how good their logic was”
  • “Shut up? Shut up? I haven’t shut up for 17 years and I’m not about to start now”
  • (crying) "I just want Shakespeare’s ghost to be proud of me”

Gryffindor - 

  • “I’d love to have a sleepover but it can only be when there’s a thunderstorm so we can dance in the rain, let me check the weather forecast”
  • “Did that bee just try and sting you? COME BACK HERE BEE YOU COWARD I’M GONNA FUCK YOU UP - wait shit no run”
  • "What did you say? Don’t touch it? Alright.” (touches it as soon as the person turns away) “Sucker”
  • “Whaaat? Someone wrote on the desk? No it wasn’t me I would never do th - My name was there? Well, I’m not the only one in the world with my na - My surname was there too? What are the chances?!”
  • “Help me I started saying lmao ironically and I can’t stop”
  • “Before you say anything it wasn’t me - unless it was something awesome then I definitely planned the whole thing”
  • Excuse me? They said what to you? … I have to go for a second, I just remembered something completely unrelated. No, no, I’m not taking this fork with me for any particular reason”
  • “Um, did you just tell me it’s impossible to sing along to a guitar solo? Stand back. Your mind is about to get blown”
  • “I am so not drunk! I’m completely drunk! … Wait shit I meant sober”
  • “I’M SO PROUD OF YOU AAAH LET ME HUG YOU! I’M NOT LETTING GO FOR THE NEXT 3 HOURS, GET COMFORTABLE BITCH”
  • “I bet I can stay up for longer than you - what no I’m not tired shut up - nO THAT WASN’T A YAWN I WAS JUST SHOWING YOU WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE IF I WAS TIRED - SEE I DID IT AGAIN TOTALLY ON PURPO - ok fuck you I’m going to sleep”

Slytherin - 

  • “Oh my God, just tell me what you did already so I can start complaining”
  • “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Did you say STOP saying fuck, or KEEP ON saying fuck?”
  • “Over your dead body? I was hoping you’d say that”
  • “If you even LOOK at them one more time I will take a stick as big as your ego and stick it right up your-”
  • “Don’t come near me or - OK fine, we can snuggle for exactly 15 minutes. I’m setting a timer now”
  • “Hey, I saw you posted a picture of us on instagram yesterday where my eyeliner isn’t completely straight? You’re gonna have to delete that, if anyone thinks my eyeliner isn’t drop dead perfect every day and that I’m not a literal make up goddess I’ll lose my reputation as the Regina George of the school”
  • “But keep the one where I’m wearing no make up so that all those bitches know I still kill it without trying”
  • “Oh come on, you know I’d never do anything to embarrass you! Speaking of which, that video I posted on youtube the other day of you falling down the flight of escalators in the shopping centre has reached over 1000 views”
  • “My dad told me tattoos were trashy so I got a giant tattoo saying ‘trashy’ on my back I’ll send you his reaction later”
  • “I’m not a sentimental person but if you touch my teddy bear I will turn you into a stuffed trophy to put next to him”
  • “What do you mean I look smug this is my normal face”

Hufflepuffs are the ones who love. Who find beauty in fallen petals and drifting leaves. They are the ones who pull books from their shelves in a burst of nostalgia, only to to hold them in their hands and flip without thought through the pages. They smile as the rain falls down and laugh as their hair lifts in the breeze. They hang photos above their fireplaces and keep letters from their friends in battered boxes. They are the ones who know all of the words to their favorite songs. Who know what it takes to make another smile. They watch out their windows as sunsets turn over to dusk and wear sweaters so many times that the sleeves begin to fray. They cling to laughter and point to the stars as they peek out from behind the clouds. They are the ones who find beauty in life.

Ravenclaws are the ones who question. Who point at birds and ask why they can fly and humans can’t. They are the ones who pull up flowers to study the roots. Who would follow lines of ants when they were children. They are the ones who strike up conversation and point to the cobwebs on the ceiling. They listen to music for the instruments, not the words, and when they write, they end only because they have run out of parchment, not because they are short on things to say. They are the ones who try to teach themselves to knit. Who leave notes in the margins of books that drive librarians mad. They listen to conversation with rapt attention, gratefully jumping in whenever pause allows. They are the ones who lie awake at night, wondering about the universe and the depths of the ocean. They are the ones who find wonder in life.

Gryffindors are the ones who discover. Who plunge into the woods with nothing but the clothes on their backs. They are the ones who explore dust-ridden attics. Who fall into streams, only to find that the water is perfect temperature for swimming. They live for the sun beating against their cheeks and an untrodden path before them. They travel to places others have never heard of and return with thrilling tales and exciting stories. They are the ones who try new foods. Who watch foreign movies and dance alone in the early morning. They’ll pick a direction and drive for miles, stopping only when sleep decides to claim them. They push past flowers without fear of the thorns, cupping the small blossoms in their hands as they pass. They are the ones who find excitement in life.

Slytherins are the ones who dream. Who paint even though they never learned how. They are the ones who keep journals and write poetry. Who ask others to tell them a story. They stare at the clouds and watch them form shapes, unmindful of the grass prickling against their elbows. They are the ones who stay awake long after everyone else has fallen asleep. Who read books, and newspapers, and anything they can get their hands on. They wish on stars, eyelashes, and birthday candles, and their eyes gleam whenever someone mentions one of their passions. They are the ones who like to watch trees grow: from saplings to guardians of the forest. Who will study maps for hours on end. They close their eyes when they listen to music, and their thoughts are full of color. They are the ones who find hope in life.

Houses As Tumblr Text Posts Part Seven
  • (Thoughts About Relationships)
  • Gryffindor: While you were busy being heterosexual, I studied the blade
  • Hufflepuff: I don't want a valentine, I want 8 million dollars and a fast metabolism
  • Ravenclaw: I don't want the d, I want the a. I want to ace this class
  • Slytherin: No offense, but I just can't process the fact that someone might actually care about me