hog tooth

anonymous asked:

Can we get the story behind blind!Obi-Wan? Like how he became blind and the lightsaber wound to his back from Anakin?

“So…General, how did you get a scar on your back from General Skywalker?” Cody couldn’t help but ask, it didn’t seem like it was a cause for antagonism between the two, so he assumed it was some kind of accident.

Obi-Wan instantly looked up and towards where Anakin had frozen like a man in carbonite.

“Why Anakin, do you want to tell them how I received a lightsaber burn across my back right over my ass? Or should I share with our men and dear padawan how exactly I have a red stripe going across my lower back.” There was a wicked grin on the mans face.

“Obi-Wan…please, it was an accident.”

“Oh, oh yes of course it was.” Obi-Wan wiggled out of position and over to the other man, wrapping his arm around the others waist while leaning against him. “Lets see, you were what…” He mock pondered over the question.

“…Thirteen and hormonal.” Anakin finally sighed.

“Oh right! Thirteen and hormonal.” Ahsoka’s eyes widened as she seemed to catch on and a wide grin started splitting her face.

The clones just paid attention to where the story was going.

“You were even starting to have your voice change and the droids kept informing Qui-Gon that you were washing your own sheets.” Obi-Wan sighed happily.

“I hated those cleaning droids. I still wish I’d re-programmed them just so they wouldn’t talk.” Anakin huffed, his tanned cheeks a slight flush.

“Of course you did, at least Qui-Gon knew to give you the talk then.” Obi-Wan was enjoying embarrassing the other man. This far away memory now, it was no longer connected to humiliation or shame, just embarrassment that they could both enjoy.

Beside, if Anakin really didn’t want him to talk about it, Obi-Wan wouldn’t. Anakin sighed and wrapped his arm around the blind Jedi’s shoulders. “That was so humiliating, he bought puppets to explain it.”

“Yes, I’m so glad he couldn’t use the puppets with me.” Obi-Wan mused before shaking it of. “Anyhow, we had a hormonal padawan on our hands at the time. I had been gone for…what was it? Eight weeks?”

“Nine.” Anakin snorted. “Hadn’t seen you in ages.”

“Undercover work.” There was that wicked grin on Obi-Wan’s face again that stretched the acid scars on the mans face and made strange sensations happen in Cody’s stomach. “I came back looking like a space pirate with tight syntec leather pants and coat. It took Anakin less then a parasec to one, realize how those pants sculpted my ass, two that I looked good with long hair and three that he’s bisexual.”

Anakin rolled his eyes.

“Qui-Gon Jinn, the bastard that he is of course suggested a sparring duel.” He took over for Obi-Wan who was busily trying to get into the pockets of Anakin’s belt while the blond was ignoring the hands on his waist. He knew what the other was looking for. “Obi-Wan agreed…short story long, I was busier watching Obi-Wan’s ass then minding the strength of my lightsaber and when I tried to swipe him across the back-”

“Right above my ass, never forget that part.”

“Right above his ass, of course.” Anakin gave a long suffering sigh before smiling at his grinning padawan. “So when I swiped him, I burned through the clothes and all. Obi-Wan got home undamaged only to be sent to the healing halls by a hormonal teen.”

“Indee-aha! Knew you had chocolate.” Obi-Wan smirked as he found the right belt pocket and pulled out package of M&M’s.

“You’re here, of course I do you sweet tooth hog.” Anakin snorted. “I also use it as rewards for Ahsoka.”

“Yes, well, these are mine now. The hog has claimed its prize.” Obi-Wan popped one in his mouth. “Also they’re getting kind of old, you should get new ones.”

“They are NOT old. You got sensitive taste buds.”

“Can I have an M&M?”

“Sure Ahsoka.” Obi-Wan happily shared out of the bag. “Wanna know about the time Anakin went skinny dipping in the Fountain room and got busted by Yoda?”

“Yoda joined me.” Anakin huffed.

“Once again one of those occasions I’m glad I can’t see.”

“…All those wrinkles…I’m never unseeing it…”

Roadrat: Thirty Seconds

Title: Thirty Seconds
Pair: Roadrat (Top ‘Hog bottom cis ‘Rat)
NSFW

He was literally dead. Dead for half a minute—no breath, no pulse, no annoying chatter leaking out of him. He was dead. Earth-covered-worm-eaten-dead—but only for half a minute.

Thirty seconds is a long time, a long drawn out time for a man that is usually bubbling over with laughter or chatter. It’s not something the world is use to- the absence of sound. But he was dead, and the turn of the world felt it, Roadhog felt it.

One, two… one… two… three… one. Push and breath and hammer and breath.

Finally ‘Hog pounded his fist down on the other’s chest, feeling the gentle crack of ribs under his hand as ‘Rat’s little frame bounced against the packed dirt floor. He was flat on his back, but when the other’s first collided with him the forced lifted him and man did it restart his heart.
The hard hit, the pain shooting through Jamison as the muscle whined back into gear and shot the blood through his system.

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For all of you that said Little MacCready/Big McLargehuge M!SS is your jam. Also I wanted to fix some of the more glaring anatomical fuckups.

@asexualshepard requested ALL THE INFORMATION about Church, so I’m putting a metric shit ton of facts (very scientific measurements occurred) below a cut (I figured it out!) to avoid spamming everyone, and because without a prompt to guide me I don’t know when I’ll ever incorporate all of this into an actual fic.

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