hoechlin your shit is just too much for me to handle

Lacrosse Practice

A/N: I didn’t proof read this, so I’m so, so sorry if there are any mistakes, if there are, please tell me and I will fix them right away and enjoy this imagine. I love you guys xxx

You were so nervous yet so excited, you were getting ready for the Lacrosse try outs and you were on the field watching all the guys clumsily put on their jersey’s. You picked up your stick and picked up a ball and flung it across the pitch and perfectly into the net. You heard someone cheering and applauding you in the background, shouting your name, you turned your head and saw your best friend, Y/B/F/N, standing on the bleachers.You waved and placed your focus back on the ball. You picked up another ball and threw the ball into the net again.

“Woah, who the hell is that?” Stiles asked Scott as he watched you throw every ball straight into the net. “That’s Y/N.” Scott replied. “What? Are you sure? I’ve loved her since the first time I saw her, I think I would recognise that goddess. Maybe your werewolf superpowers aren’t working properly today.” Stiles insisted. “Trust me, that’s Y/N. And when do my wolf senses not work?” Scott snapped as he narrowed his eyes at Stiles. “Like that time when we were in that gay club a couple years ago.” Stiles smirked. “Right, sure, ‘cos my powers are meant to be used to sense all gay people, real mature, Stiles.” Scott playfully rolled his eyes at Stiles. “Everybody get on the field! Come on, my grandma can run faster than you, and she’s dead!” Coach shouted and blew his whistle.

You dropped your ball on the ground and ran to the centre of the field where Finstock and all the other players were. “Oooo wow, a girl. Are you sure you’re in the right place, you could get seriously injured by us men.” teased another Lacrosse player. “I can take care of myself, and as for you, get ready for any humiliation and broken bones. I heard for a guy, it’s kinda embarrassing to get beaten up by a girl.” you insulted back. Seriously, a girl can do whatever she freaking wants, don’t be a sexist pig and get a life. “This is the most important time of your lives, these are Lacrosse try outs! Now go! Move it!” yelled Coach. You grabbed your stick again and got into one of the lines, next to Greenberg.

“Come on Greenberg, get the hell up and get to the back of the line. Greenberg, you suck,” your eyes widened. “God, I hate that kid.” Finstock whispered the last sentence but it was loud enough that you heard it. “Careful, Stilinski and McCall are dangerous animals, take it easy, Y/L/N.” you rolled your eyes at him and put the ball in the net of your Lacrosse stick. Stiles and Scott got in position and glanced at each other, both of them tightening their grip to their Lacrosse sticks. You charge at the two boys and they did the same. You pushed your shoulder into Scott and pressed your stick against his back hard and he fell to the ground. That was pretty easy, not gonna lie. Stiles ran towards you and you quickly dodged him while hitting his shins with your stick, causing him to trip up and fall to the grass, immediately joining Scott. You threw the ball towards the net and the guy in goal missed the ball, letting the ball hit the back of the net.

You turned round and everyone’s jaws had dropped, even Coach’s. “There’s no point looking at you losers now, Stilinski, McCall, you disgust me. What the hell was that?!” Finstock yelled and you snorted and tried to cover your mouth. “I guess, you should congratulate your new Lacrosse captain…?” Coach continued. “Applaud her, you lazy slugs!” A roar of cheering and whistling deafened you and you smiled. You turned your head and you saw Stiles still on the floor as he watched Scott lift himself up. You barged through your disgusting classmates and made your way to Stiles.You offered your hand to him and he gladly took it, you lifted him up and he brushed off all the grass off his uniform.

“That was pretty amazing, you even beat poor McCall here.” Stiles pointed at Scott. “You probably scarred him for life, poor Scottie boy.” Stiles continued sarcastically and you laughed at his humour. Scott placed his hand on your shoulder and you looked over at him. “That was incredible, congrats on being Captain, you deserve it and it’s about time a girl proves everyone wrong. Well done. Stiles, I’ll meet you in the changing rooms, bye Y/N.” Stiles winked at Scott. “Thanks Scott, trust me, you did great with the other players.” you finished and he left, leaving you and Stiles alone again. “Sorry if I really hurt you, Stiles.” Stiles shook his head, “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. It would be kinda funny if you left a mark, then I could be reminded everyday that I got my ass kicked by a beautiful and talented girl.” Stiles immediately stopped when he realised what you said and his a soft red coated his cheeks.

“Oh god, I just meant that…” Stiles paused and froze for a second. “There’s literally no way of me saving myself here, is there?” you shook your head and smiled. “Sorry Stiles, now, what were you saying?” you taunted. “Oh fuck it. Y/F/N, you are the most prettiest girl I ever laid my eyes on and I’ve liked you for so long, so, so long, trust me, it’s been long and Scott thinks it’s pathetic since I never confessed my love to you and I talk about you literally everyday and it’s been long, you can even ask him. Actually, don’t, that would be pretty embarrassing for me when you find out how long I’ve liked you, and I’m rambling, oh shit, this is hard. Okay, how would you like to go on a date with me, this Friday at 6?” You pretended to think even though you knew what your answer was gonna be but you just wanted to taunt Stiles just a tiny bit longer. “Look, Stiles, you’re a great guy and i’m sure any girl would be lucky enough to have you but i’m not one of them…” Stiles looked down and grabbed his Lacrosse stick and was about to say something until you quickly continued. “Of course I will, I’ve liked you for so long too but maybe not as long as you, the way you described it, it was liked you’ve liked me since I was literally born.”

Stiles wrapped his arms around your waist and picked you up, twirling you around. He stopped after a few seconds of you both laughing and you squealing. “Don’t do that to me ever again. A guy like me can only handle a lot of rejection and I swear I could hear my heart breaking, I don’t think I could ever love anyone again if you carried on.” you laughed and smiled at him since he really did love you and you could feel yourself falling deeper and deeper for him. “We should probably go. You know, before Finstock screams at us and makes you cry.” you playfully insulted Stiles. “Yeah, I cry really easily, you know I cried when I first watched the ending of the last Star Wars movie, that shit hit me hard.” you laughed so much, you could feel yourself tearing up. You knew you were going to fall hard for Stiles and you had no idea how you were going to pick yourself up if anything bad happened. It was going to be impossible.

Originally posted by thealpha

Originally posted by hoppelessssssss

Tyler Posey lifted a cheek from the hot cement basketball court next to all his best guy friends. In typical Posey style the guys winced as they braced for another Posey fart. The fart shot out in three beats, airy and muffled. “pffffsshhp, pphhrrmmpph, phrmpph!” The heat from the cement heightened the smell and his friends pulled their shirts over their noses. “Damn Pose! Another one?!?!” Greg was used to this behavior. Tyler was a 5 year old when it came to gas humor, and it seemed you couldn’t hang out with him without getting at least one fart from him. John took his shirt down and sniffed the air “Ugh! It’s still bad!” Tyler Hoechlin knew his friend’s fart was gonna linger, and sat with his shirt over his face, rolling his eyes at Posey. Posey began to waft the rest of his gas to all three of his friends.
Tyler Posey didn’t do this to be mean, or teasing. Tyler in fact wanted his friends to retaliate. and one day he knew they would. Posey had a fart fetish. When he was younger, he would fart on his pillows before bedtime and take deep whiffs. That got him searching for fart stuff online which led him to some fetish websites. Overtime he learned how to masturbate and from then on he got off on the intense imaginary smells of gas from hot guys in photos or even real farts on Youtube.
Tyler sat in class with Greg & John as a new kid walked into the room. Dylan just transferred from a tech school into a University and was sort of a dweeb, so Tyler thought. Dylan took the lone empty seat next to Tyler and waited for class to begin. Posey took this empty moment to rip a fart in the class full of guys, bring chuckles and moans throughout the class. Dylan looked at Tyler with eyes of fear and shock. Tyler smiled at the dweeb and leaned back in his seat to relax. Class began. The teacher was young, just a year or two older than the average senior. So when talking about solids, liquids, and gases, the guys in the class all had some good chuckles about the gas substance. “Posey’s got a lotta gas teach!” Tyler laughed and looked over to Dylan who stared shyly at the man. Tyler gave him a smile… fuck he was kind of weird…
That afternoon Posey walked to Hoechlin’s dorm to chill and play some video games. “Hey Ty, have you met Dylan? He’s my new dorm neighbor!” Posey gave the same look of awkward shock Dylan gave him at school. “How many more times am I gonna have to see this kid?” Dylan smiled and acknowledged that they had met. As the games progressed Hoechlin left the room to use the bathroom. Posey sat with Dylan in awkward silence until Dylan tried to spark a conversation. “So… what do you do for fun?” Tyler continued staring at the game and ignored Dylan as a person in the room until he responded with “huh… this…” Dylan stared at the video game Posey had his eyes glued on. Posey sat with a stare and with a hint of remorse tried to spark up some conversation with the weird newbie in return. “So… huh… what’s your last name?” Tyler asked. “O'Brien, you gonna add me to Facebook? I have one!” Dylan lit up. “What? No! Just trying to be nice and talk…” Tyler went back to his game. Then out of thin air Dylan shot back with something that sent chills down Tyler’s spine. “That was some fart in class today…” Dylan smiled at his comment and Tyler’s eyes lit up in shock. His eyes moved from side to side as Dylan stumbled upon the one thing Tyler really wanted to talk about. “It was okay… I… guess…” Tyler tried focusing on his game when the other Tyler reentered the room. You could cut the tension with a knife. Posey was silent. O'Brien smiled and watched the now failing Tyler continue at his video game.
Tyler sat in chemistry class groggy and miserable. He didn’t sleep a wink and mostly because he sat in bed thinking about Dylan and the way his eyes lit up in awe when he brought up Tyler’s fart yesterday. Did he like them too? He couldn’t! Some straight laced guy with a happy go lucky grin couldn’t possibly like something so foul. Greg and John entered the room and sat near Tyler. “Dude! You look like shit” Greg laughed at his own comment and John spoke up. “You and Hoechlin must have gotten wasted last night?” Posey made some underhanded comment about how Hoechlin’s new buddy Dylan doesn’t drink and the guys cracked up. “He just sat around and talked, no booze, no girls, no fun, worst free time of my life!” “Dude! You should just fart on him today, aim em’ all at him. Be merciless!” John’s idea sparked a smile within Tyler. Dylan was gonna get served. As Dylan walked into class he looked well rested and pulled his water bottle out of his backpack… “he must still use the same one from high school. What a loser, just carry the one book, you just have one class today dumb ass!” Tyler thought. At that moment Tyler tapped Greg on the shoulder and Greg turned around as Tyler shifted his eyes towards Dylan, still facing Greg. Tyler lifted his rump slightly from his chair and a small squeaker of a fart blasted from his seat. Dylan looked shocked and stared at the two guys and laughed. Greg laughed back… primarily at Dylan rather than with him, and turned around to prepare for the lesson. Dylan looked a Tyler to comment “Yesterday’s was better…” Tyler said nothing and prepared for the lesson. His butt lifted from the seat again and a faint hiss left his shorts. A faint whiff of ass hit his nose and Dylan’s. That’s when the strange part occurred. It was 15 minutes into class and the four guys in the back were hit by a stronger smell. Rotten eggs, foul skunk, and sweaty ripe ass filled the air as Greg and John began to choke. “Teacher! I think Posey needs to be excused!!!” John sounded worried. The professor made no reaction, these guys break wind in class everyday, it was just another day for them. Posey made no comment but to laugh and claim the attack with a grin. John and Greg turned back around to the lesson when Tyler looked at Dylan… Dylan winked an eye at the once champion farter and smiled. Knowing he just bested the champion. Tyler lifted a leg and ripped  a rather audible blast at Dylan and the class erupted in anger at the 20 year old stud. Dylan secretly lifted a cheek and although silent, the smell was unbearably worse. Tyler blushed red as John and Greg turned around to egg Tyler on. “Dude, we said be merciless, but this is too much! Give the poor guy a break and take some beano” John was in near tears. Greg was on the verge of dry heaving. “Dylan, buddy! You’re not even flinching! You’re a beast to put up with this!” Greg was impressed by Dylan’s composure. What John and Greg didn’t know was that Dylan had just let loose another series of gas attacks into the room. Tyler let out a bigger fart, which, accidentally timed made it seem like the smell came from his loud blast rather than Dylan’s SBD. Within 40 more minutes of class the guys were now all well equipped to handle a chemical war.
Class was over and the guys walked out. John and Greg were applauding their newfound hero Dylan for taking Posey’s gas like a champ. Neither guy knew that the smell was Dylan’s brew. Posey sat back and watched as the weird kid got high fives and back pats for his stamina. “We’re now a group of five bros man, you’re in!” John said as Dylan got bright eyed. He just wanted to fit in. Posey felt even sicker… what if Dylan wanted to fart more?
The party was a huge hit. Posey and the gang threw a huge bash at his dorm. There was beer, chips, salsa, bean dip, and more “Everclear” than you’d know what to do with. “Do we really have to invite him? I still think he’s a dweeb!” Tyler asked John. “Dude! You’re just upset that you can’t throw him off with your stink. That guy is more of a man than you! haha!” Tyler focused on that conversation between him and John for the duration of the party as Dylan sat right next to Posey with some bean dip and broccoli. “Hey Tyler!” Dylan tried to be nice. Tyler sipped his beer and scoldingly told Dylan “How come you don’t drink?” Dylan looked at him sheepishly; “I’ll drink, if you’ll be nice to me.” Tyler obliged and Dylan took a swig of Everclear with his juice. Tyler laughed at Dylan’s facial expressions each shot and asked him to try it again. 5 shots later Dylan said “This doesn’t have a taste? *hiccup*” Tyler took a shot himself and wrapped his arm around Dylan. “Come here kid, I’ll show you some beer…” Tyler brought out a Guinness for them both. “This is only for special occasions, that cheap PBR is nothing…” Dylan LOVED it! And drank happily with Tyler the rest of the night. They laughed and got to know each other better. Tyler even calling Dylan “cool” in his book. Dylan smiled… but began to look sick from the alcohol. Greg was scoring big with the ladies as Hoechlin and John left with no one. “Man, Dylan’s pretty fucked up tonight. What did you do Pose?” Tyler Hoechlin looked worried. “He’s fine, he can crash here tonight. I don’t want his dorm leader finding him drunk when you take him home.” The guys left for the night and Posey and O'Brien stayed. Tyler wrapped him in a blanket on the couch and headed to his bed to go to sleep.
Tyler laid awake in his bed to thoughts of men from his porn library ripping ass in his dorm room. As he stroked his cock he imagined the smells and sounds they produced just for him. He threw one of them on the bed in his imagination and began to eat his ass out. He imagined the smooth run fleshy ass against his tongue ripping fart after fart and soon he was furiously stroking his meat in an intense sweat that was absorbed by the bed. The man in his dreams ripped a fart that went on for ages, his cum shot out onto the sheets and the guy’s face became more prevalent in his mind… it was Dylan! Posey gasped for air and rose up from his bed panting in fear. “What the fuck was that?!?” Tyler thought. He got up and walked back into his livingroom. Dylan was curled up on the couch and sleeping like a baby. “Fucking dweeb” Tyler mumbled under his breath. He got a glass of water from the kitchen and began to head back to bed, but something came over him. He walked over to Dylan on the couch… “Don’t do it” Tyler tried stopping himself. He took a sniff of the air, a loud sniff. Nothing. He would regret this next move… he moved in closer. Posey got within inches of Dylan’s ass and although it was snuggly fit under the covers the smell was amazing. The dweeb had an ass odor, and Tyler was getting hooked. Posey went to bed in shame of his secret sniffing adventure. But his mind raced with the thoughts of Dylan’s gas in the classroom that afternoon. Could he be… falling for the dweeb?
Tyler’s dreams were tame, except for one. Dylan was snuggled in bed with him and he was dutch opening him as a prank. He woke up and headed to the kitchen for some breakfast. Dylan was up and at it. “What? No hangover?!?!” Tyler pointed out. “That? Oh, last night was nothing. I drank twice as much at home…” Dylan was acting rather alpha male this morning; Tyler was confused. Dylan was a ringer. Go onto a campus, be the nice kid, get all the teachers’ good graces, impress all the popular folk, then control the crowd. Tyler was impressed and the two sat down for breakfast. It was Saturday and the whole day was open. Dylan had no homework. Tyler just had a small report. Talk of the weather and classes grew old between the two and Posey tried coming up with other conversations. Dylan had other ideas. “Man, I bet I had some GAS last night.” Dylan winked at Tyler and Tyler felt uncomfortable again as Dylan aimed a fart into Tyler’s direction. The smell wafted to Tyler who winced and coughed on the smell. Tyler had to retaliate and ripped one of his own. It stunk, but Dylan’s was stronger. Just like the classroom experience Dylan was besting the gassy fetishist. “So you can retaliate?” Dylan ripped a longer blast. The smell intensified and Tyler’s dick grew in his shorts. “I thought I’d freshen the room a bit with my brew.” Dylan smiled and then smoldered his stare at Tyler… was he flirting? Tyler turned red and tried to get up and do his book report. “Have you read your book yet?” Dylan asked. Tyler played it off and said yes, but Dylan’s next quote sent chills down his spine. “Was your book against my ass last night? Because you had your nose there for part of the night. Did it smell good?” Dylan was going in for the kill. Tyler was sweating and told Dylan to get out. The fear was all over his face. “Get out? I think I have something you want Posey Wosey…” Dylan sat on Tyler’s lap and Tyler tried bucking him off. The fart was loud. It was warm… not just warm, it burned! Fuck it burned! Tyler winced from the smell, but it was the most magical moment of heaven he ever experienced! Dylan wrapped his arm around Tyler’s shoulder and Tyler wrapped his around Dylan’s back. Dylan let out another fart after lifting a cheek and aiming it at Tyler’s stomach. “I see you’ve stopped competing… is someone out of gas?” Dylan cooed at Tyler. “You’re the king.” Tyler moaned over and over. “The king?!?” Dylan smiled. “Well, that’s pretty impressive. Am I more kingly than that farter you have saved on your computer?” Tyler was taken aback by Dylan’s remark… Dylan looked at his Internet history last night! But it didn’t matter… In fact it felt safer… Dylan was doing this willingly… “Yes Dilly! OH YES!!! FUCK MORE!!!” Dylan smacked Tyler in the back of the head and ripped an angry fart in his lap… “But you told me to get out… so I guess this is goodbye…” Dylan sat up and walked out the door farting almost each step of the way. Tyler’s legs had lost circulation but that didn’t stop him from crawling to the door in hopes of getting Dylan back. Tyler laid in a fetal position alone in his apartment dorm breathing in the smells of Dylan’s crop-dust. He was so sexually frustrated he was in tears. What if Dylan told the guys? What if he told the school?
Class on Monday had Posey freaking out. He sat at his typical desk when Dylan walked in… he sat right in front of Tyler. John and Greg noticed this and took seats next to Dylan instead of you. “Man, I see Dylan is learning from Friday’s mistakes. Can’t sit next to the gas bomb for too long!” John chuckled at Tyler’s expense and Tyler stared at Greg… pointing to the empty seat next to him. “Man Posey, I don’t think anyone is gonna sit their after you nuked it last week!” Posey tried to laugh it off… deep down he was hurt, lonely, and feeling left out. His new view was kind of worth it though… Dylan’s round butt spread right in front of his view. Dylan pulled his jeans down and Tyler sprung a boner when he noticed… he wasn’t wearing any underwear in class. His jacket covered his front view. To the teacher and the rest of the class it looked like Dylan was fully clothed. The smell hit Tyler like a ton of bricks. He focused more on Dylan’s ass, the hole opened up and the smell magnified. Every minute Tyler was hit by a wave of stink from Dylan’s butt in class. Tyler had a show of Dylan’s ass right in front of him. As class ended Posey’s notes were blank. Dylan pulled up his jeans and got out of his seat. Greg and John walked out with him with Posey trailing behind.
“Yo Dylan! We still on for tomorrow?” Greg asked. “Yeah, see you then! I’m bring Hoechlin!” Dylan smiled as Tyler spoke up, “Wait? What’s going on?” Posey looked confused. “Oh, we’re hanging out Tuesday… you can come right Dylan?” Greg looked at Dylan as though Dylan was in charge of the group. “Yeah, come on!” John and Greg headed to their next class as Dylan was pushed against a wall by Tyler. “What the fuck was that!?” Tyler was furious with the mind games. “Chill buddy, you getting’ jealous of me taking over? Afraid of my power?” Dylan bit his lip and chuckled at Tyler’s grip as it lightened. Dylan smiled and ripped a fart and laughed harder. Tyler asked Dylan to hang out after his classes, his voice cracked from the question. “Well, what would we do together?” Dylan smiled more, it was a shit eating grin that made Tyler feel two inches small. “Well… we could… study…” Tyler sulked. “Oh, because you didn’t record any notes today and need mine?” Dylan laughed and tickled Posey’s nipple. Posey flinched and responded. “We… we… can do the thing…” “Oh! The thing… yeah… well, I knew I’d hook you soon. Tell you what, I’ll give you my notes, but at a price…” Dylan looked powerful. Tyler was scared. “All the notes you can ever need… but you’ll be my personal fart sniffer… for life.” Dylan massaged Tyler’s shoulder after the proposal. Tyler struggled to speak as Dylan’s other hand moved down to Tyler’s member… “I think your little friend has chosen for you”.
Dylan walked right into Tyler’s apartment. “Man, you still got any of that bean dip?” I’m hungry. Tyler pulled the dip from the fridge with some broccoli and handed it to Dylan. Dylan had wrapped a blanket around his body and pointed to a hole. “In.” Dylan commanded. Tyler stuck his head into the covers right against Dylan’s ass. He was wrapped tight against Dylan’s hole. The first sniff was incredible. Dylan’s ass smelled just like the gas Tyler was subjected to in class. That’s when the first fart hit. Tyler’s nose burned as he carefully sniffed Dylan’s ass and stroked his cock. Tyler woke up with his face trapped in a bed sheet. Dylan was gone. It was 3am. He read a note on his bedroom door: “You couldn’t even last 5 minutes down there. You’re pathetic. If you don’t do better next time I’m gonna twist your nuts until they pop off. Love you sweetie! -Dilly” Posey was scared, but his hard on still grew. He threw himself on his bed, face to pillow, when a foul smell hit him… Dylan farted on his pillows before leaving… he sniffed until he passed out drunk on Dylan’s gas.
Tuesday night Posey was dressed to the nine’s. The guys went to a club and were sitting at a booth. Dylan was leading the conversation and John, Greg and Hoechlin were eating it up. Greg drew everyone’s attention to a girl. Dylan glared at Tyler and pointed to the restroom with a wink. “He wants me to do this now?!?” Tyler thought. The two guys passed the bathroom and Dylan led them to an area behind the building. Dylan guided Tyler so that his back was against a brick wall, and with no words Dylan began to fart onto Posey’s thigh. Tyler was mesmerized by the showing. Dylan was blowing out gas like a champ. Most were inaudible, but the breeze, and the foul smell was a dead giveaway. For 5 minutes Dylan let rip constant streams of gas, but at minute 6 Posey tried bucking him off. “Dude! That’s enough, you’re proving your point you’re a fucking GOD! Now get off me!” Posey felt a little nauseous from the performance. “No Pose! I got GAS! I need you to sniff it. Come to think of it, my shorts are probably filtering the stink. It may travel back to the other guys.” Tyler was listening to Dylan speak and he felt lightheaded with excitement and fear. “Can you pull my shorts down… with your teeth?” Dylan gave Tyler the sweetest puppy dog eyes he could muster. Tyler dropped to his knees and praised the bubblebutt before his eyes. Dylan backed his ass up into Tyler’s mouth as Tyler opened wide and bit down on the back elastic of Dylan’s shorts. As Tyler pulled down on the shorts his nose rubbed against Dylan’s open crack. Tyler could smell the scent of trapped gas between the cheeks flood his senses. A quick sharp toot filled the air and Tyler’s oxygen was tainted further with the gas of his new fart king. “Air my shorts out and keep your face in my ass. I got a lot more” Dylan was talking as though this was the most normal behavior in the world. Tyler began to moan. How did Dylan never run out of gas!?!? “You’re doing a lot better than Monday night. Just don’t pass out” On the word pass out Dylan let out a fart that could singe nose hairs of anyone in the parking lot on the other side of the building. Tyler tried to escape but his head was trapped against the brick wall. He was in Dylan’s fart trap. “We better go back… I still have a lot of gas but you’ll just have to claim whatever I have to release in the bar.” Tyler stared at Dylan. He was embarrassed to fart. Dylan was embarrassed about farting in front of the other guys. But around him he was a gas bomb. If that didn’t say love, what did?
A few months later the guys were hanging out at John and Greg’s house. Dylan was sitting on a bean bag and munching on some taco bell when a fart erupted from his ass. This fart scared the living daylights out of the guys and they stared at Dylan. Dylan was about to cry when Posey spoke up. “Sorry guys, hahahaha! That was me.” John looked back at Dylan on the other side of the room. “Uhh… bro… that noise came from Dylan!” The smell hit the guys with force. “UGH! Wait y'all, ever since Dylan came into the picture, Tyler’s farts have stunk SO much worse!” Hoechlin looked confused. “Guys! Seriously, I can throw my farts! See?” Tyler leaned and motioned to Dylan to rip a fart from his seat. Dylan let out another loud monster and looked scared and cried “STOP!” They guys busted out laughing as Tyler waved a hand behind his ass to waft the magnify smell from his ass. Dylan lived to see another embarrassment free night. Posey was sure to be rewarded for that save tonight… when the taco bell finally reached Dylan’s gut. Dylan was sure to make Posey suffocate and cum his dick off that night.

Wow, you must be the fakest supercorp shipper I have ever seen. 

Yes, Chris Wood is an actor and by all accounts, he is not the worst dick this planet has to offer. However, he’s not some golden wonderboy who can do no wrong and can’t ever be criticized for fear of hurting his straight white boy feelings a bit.

He’s an ACTOR. Part of his JOB is to take criticism. And while death threats are completely over the line and I’d never make one, I definitely have seen way more instances of “Get a job, Chris!” than I have EVER seen “Chris needs to die” from the Supercorp fandom. 

Which isn’t to say that there aren’t bad eggs in the Supercorp fandom (as there are in EVERY fandom, including the Karamels and Sanvers, believe me, I’ve encountered quite enough of them to know that). I don’t doubt that there are Supercorp fans who have made legitimate death threats to both Chris Wood and people who like him or his slave-owning character or his abusive fictional relationship with Kara Danvers on Supergirl. In fact, I’d guarantee that there are people who have made death threats towards the Karamels. But there are plenty - more than plenty - Karamels who have sent death threats and hateful messages to the Supercorp fandom, too. As well as Karamels who hate on Katie McGrath or Mehcad Brooks (I don’t have any proof of death threats said towards/about either one of them, but I know Mehcad got a lot of hate when he was first cast and continues to get racist messages from fans). 

However. Things like calling him “Crispy Wormwood” or making jokes about his forehead and his receding hairline, while somewhat immature, are really not all that harmful in the long run. Chris Wood is a straight cisgendered white man who makes a lot of money as an actor and lives a life of luxury that most of us can’t even contemplate. He lives a life of complete and utter privilege. A few (well, more than few, the Supercorp fandom is MASSIVE) people making jokes about his shiny forehead or his receding hairline probably don’t even make a dent in his ego. And they’re not even comparable to the kinds of things said towards/about Mehcad or Katie (or even Melissa and Chyler and Sharon and David, I’m sure) since most of those comments are based in sexism and racism. Both Mehcad and Katie have to deal with things like sexism and racism on a daily basis through a number of microaggressions I’m sure most fans aren’t even aware of or could accurately count up. Whereas Chris Wood doesn’t have any of that. Men don’t get routinely shamed for having big foreheads, or killed for having big foreheads, or are unable to get jobs because they have big foreheads. He’s not dealing with microaggressions of any kind in his daily life and since he’s such a woke feminist bae according to all of you guys, he would be the first to admit that. Which means that seeing a few comments about his forehead or his hairline really aren’t going to affect him all that much, if he even sees them at all. 

As for the other hate directed at him, well. Suffice it to say a lot of us were pretty pissed off at how this season went on Supergirl and had Chris Wood dealt with it a little differently, things might be a little different. Because there is an enormous difference between just “doing your job” and saying a few nice things about your character or the ship you’re in because it’s your job you don’t want to get in trouble, and completely gassing up what is clearly an abusive relationship and talking about your sexist slave-owning character as if he’s just “misunderstood” and “really the hero of the story” and making it sound like Kara becoming his mentor and essentially being sidelined in favor of his character’s storyline was in any way of a good thing. If Chris Wood was a much of a woke feminist bae as you all want to believe he is, he’d have said some different things about his character and the ship he was forced into. He can’t help how his character was written, of course he can’t. No one’s blaming him for the writing or for the character’s existence, that would be ludicrous. You may notice that we all hate Andrew Kreisberg and Kevin Smith to a rather absurd degree, too, because we know where to place our blame, thank you very much. 

But look at how Melissa Benoist handled some of the questions about Karamel lobbed at her in interviews versus how Chris Wood handled them. Melissa so clearly can tell that this relationship is written badly and doesn’t think it’s the best but as the main actor in the show, she is forced to say a bunch of nice things about it. But she manages to dodge a lot of those questions and often repeats herself with what are more than likely lines fed to her by the studios (i.e. “Kara is happy” “You can’t trust a Luthor”). Chris Wood doesn’t do any of that. He seems quite happy to call a relationship where he screams at the woman he claims to love in the middle of her workplace and physically refuses to let her leave an argument she is trying to walk away from so as to keep from making even more of a scene than he’s already made “the sweetest couple on TV right now!” He seems perfectly happy to just say that him not listening to Kara (about how best to protect people, about their relationship, about how slavery and sexism are bad things) isn’t a symptom of his rampant misogyny that really should be resolved long before he and Kara become an item, but is really just his poor little character just being a misunderstood hero all along. He seems perfectly happy to talk about how his character has basically taken over the show and gets the actual hero’s journey this season that should have belonged to Kara instead of making sure that audiences know he’s there to support Kara/Melissa and not the other way around (a la Tyler Hoechlin as Superman). 

We can criticize Chris Wood all we want and we have plenty to criticize him for regarding his participation in ruining this show and bringing it down so far from its promising, more feminist start. We can call him the worst actor of our generation all we want because that’s an opinion on his skills and everyone has different tastes. We can call him ugly all we want because plenty of us think he is and again, everyone has different tastes. We can make jokes about his forehead and his receding hairline because they really aren’t going to do anything to hurt him (or his fans as much as they seem personally oppressed every time we make a forehead joke). We can call him out for talking about his character and his character’s relationship with Kara in a way that makes it pretty obvious he has zero clue how UNfeminist it is. And you’d think woke feminist bae Chris Wood would be aware of it, wouldn’t you? You’d think woke feminist bae Chris Wood would realize how incredibly racist it was to replace a Black love interest with a white slave-owning love interest. You’d think woke feminist bae Chris Wood would realize how incredibly sexist it was to have his character get the only real character arc this season instead of the show’s titular female lead. You’d think woke feminist bae Chris Wood would have had at least a few things to say to make sure viewers knew he had at least some awareness of what was happening with the writing and, while he can’t do anything to change that, that he doesn’t agree with it and that he as an actor still supports Kara/Melissa’s storyline. But he never did. Not once. 

So as a fellow Supercorp shipper (and an extremely bitter Karolsen shipper for that matter), I’d like you to stop and think for a moment about this post. I’d like you to go look at some of the bullshit Karamels have said about us and some of the things Karamels have said about the actors in this show that aren’t their favorite woke feminist white boy bae Chris Wood. I’d like you to see some of the slurs they throw at us that are abelist, homophobic, racist, and sexist. I’d like you to look at some of the things they’ve said about James as a character and how often they talk about him in incredibly racist ways. I’d like you to see all the homophobic things they say about Supercorp as a ship and the people who ship them. And yes, I know there are some Supercorps who have done some really nasty shit (sending death threats to Karamels and saying racist things to Rahul Kohli for starters), but the Karamels are in NO WAY innocent in any of this.

In fact, that’s actually how I became an “anti” as you might term it. I wasn’t even in the fandom for a really long time, though I have watched this show from day one. And I made one comment on one review about 2x13 and got a SLEW of hate sent back to me about how I was “crazy” and a bitch and a professional hater. All because I wrote about how I disliked Mon-El and Karamel. Just once. 

And it never stopped. I wasn’t writing anything about the actors or any of the shippers. I was JUST writing about the ship and the characters and I got continually harassed on the internet for it. Eventually I started talking to a few people on Tumblr who shared my opinions and found an entire fandom who agreed with me, an entire community who felt the way I did. 

So yeah. Now I write shit about the actors. Now I write shit about the shippers. Because they attacked me first. They called me names first and were hateful to ME first so now I don’t give a shit about how any of them feel because maybe they deserve to have a little bit of their own medicine dished back to them, to feel the way I felt. Now I troll them and make comments on their posts about how ugly Chris Wood looks in one particular gif in a gifset because it’s exactly the kind of shit that was done to me, but now I can at least find it kinda funny. 

Is it juvenile? Sure. But I’m bitter and angry over how this fandom treated ME and it didn’t come from the Supercorps. It came from the Karamels. 

You say you’re here to protect those of us Supercorps who got jumped on and harassed on the internet because of some toxic people in the fandom? Well, I’m one of those toxic people, but I used to be one of the people you claim you want to side with and help. I’d guarantee a lot that the people who are now so “toxic” were once more like me and have since gained a shit load of bitterness and resentment, not just towards the shippers but towards the producers and the writers who have done this to us, who have taken a show that used to be about feminism and made it a show about glorifying sexist mediocre white men. But we can’t say anything critical without getting a shitload of hate back from people who think Mon-El is just a space puppy who has literally done no wrong ever in his life (including owning slaves and being a sexist douchebag who was involved in a tyrannical monarchy that oppressed its people? Sure, Jan). It’s not our fault they think criticism of a fictional character somehow is an attack on the entire show as a whole, the actor behind said character, and themselves as shippers. Or that those shippers seem to think that the characters are real and have feelings and that us disliking them and saying so on the internet will somehow hurt Mon-El’s feelings or something. Don’t ask to me to tell you how Karamel minds work, I’d prefer not to have to put myself in the shoes of a bigot who romanticizes an abusive relationship. 

Chris Wood doesn’t need your protection, he never has. If you want to appreciate him for his terrible acting and his five expressions and his bland looks, go right ahead. No one can stop you and no one honestly gives a shit. But don’t act like the Karamels are these saintly victims who just get continually shit on by the “toxic” Supercorp fandom and not that the Supercorp fandom is actually more routinely shit on by the Karamels and that’s how some of us became more “toxic” in the first place. 

Go take your place at the Karamel table and leave the Supercorp shippers alone. Maybe you can be like M’gann and change the minds of some of the Karamels, show them the light or something (although I’m not sure you have any light to show them). Try to be less of a Mon-El at least, abandoning his own people for his own self-gain and absolving himself of every sin he’s ever committed and eschewing the blame somewhere else.

Treat You Better (Requested Derek Hale Imagine)

Sorry if this was kinda bad…I tried my best to fit the song/video. Thanks for the request ❤️ •••

Your boyfriend had always been abusive towards you, and anyone who had the chance to get close to him…he hit you, pushed you around, and treated you like you were never there to begin with. Other times, he would treat you as you deserved…he would shower you with delicate kisses, and dance with you in the rain. But you always knew that would all come to an end, as he would revert back to his violent behavior shortly after. You constantly had this thought racing through your mind, as it always occurred to you, that you put yourself in a dangerous situation with him…“just like right now” you thought, as your boyfriend sped around another corner, accelerating as he hit open road. “Can you stop being so reckless?! You’re going to hurt someone.” You exclaimed, as he stopped the car in the parking lot of your apartment complex, allowing the both of you to get out.

“y/n! Stop being such a baby. Can’t you handle a little fun?” Your boyfriend smirked, shoving you into a wall, and then pressing you against it, forcing you to be as close to him as he desired. “Let go of me, y/bf/n…I’m tired of this.” You managed to get out, shooting him a death glare, as he had put his hands around your throat. “Tired of what? Me? Our relationship? What, y/n?”

"Whatever.” You said coldly, after he finally let go of you, allowing you to go inside your apartment. •••

"Hey, Der.” You smiled brightly, at your best friend, causing sharp pain to submerge by your neck, as you grimly remembered the fight you had last night with your boyfriend.

"Are you okay..?” Derek asked, worry washing over his face.

"Yeah, yeah. It’s just y/bf/n…” at the mention of his name, you noticed Derek tense up…his jaw clenching.

"I can treat you better than that asshole…” Derek thought to himself, as he had loved you since you first met…but you had never noticed. Even throughout the harsh relationship with your boyfriend, Derek had stuck around. He cared more about you than anyone..and the mention of your boyfriend made his blood boil. •••

The sound of clashing fences, and colliding fists woke you up. You quickly looked over towards the nightstand, which showed the time to be 2:45 a.m. Scrambling to find your shoes in the dark room, you grabbed your phone and ran outside to see what was happening.

You walked out on Derek pinning y/bf/n to the fence, and repeatedly punching him, clearly taking out his anger on the piece of shit boyfriend you have.

"How could you think, even for a second, that I would sit back and watch you time and time again, hurt her like this. You worthless piece of shit. You’re lucky I don’t rip you to shreds.” Derek concluded, showing his fangs, and flaring his eyes at the now terrified teenager struggling to free himself from Derek’s grip.

"What’s going on…?” You said timidly, afraid you’d get yelled at by your boyfriend, but you didn’t think he’d try much with Derek right there.

"Y/n, don’t listen to anything he says. He’s lying.” Your boyfriend said in the same tone he uses before he gets mad at you.

"Derek? What happened?” You asked, not bothering to listen to y/bf/n.

"This one was with another girl.” Derek motioned towards your now ex-boyfriend, as you so decided. “I’m sorry, y/n..” Derek started, all to be cut off by you running up and hugging him. “Thank you, Derek. For everything…and know it’s always been you. You’re the one I wanted.” you whispered into his chest.

Derek flashed his eyes once more at your ex-boyfriend, causing him to finally run away, before finally pulling you closer to him, just as he’d always wanted to do.

"I love you, y/n…know I will treat you better than he ever could.”

"I love you too, Der.” You smiled happily.

Originally posted by theairyoubreathe-ishauntingme1