hoe things used to be

fun idea: “choose your own adventure” novel except its more “choose which story you want to follow” with several storylines which are independent but which take place in the same world and can occasionally intersect in eye-opening/funny/spine-chilling ways depending on which way you navigate the text 

anonymous asked:

What Atleti fans fail to realize about Theo is that even warming the bench for the best team in the world is better than starting for any other mediocre team. That, and the crazy, shocking facts that *gasp* he's free to make his own choices and *gasp* he may actually want to play for a successful team and *gasp* he's 19 and even if he'll be on the bench at first, he has the chance to hone his skills among the best players in the world, and eventually earn trust and playing time!1!11!!!

anonymous asked:

Okay but like this is random but I rlly like virgin Felix who creams himself a little too early (before he's able to even get his pants off huehue) and low-key hoe ass Jack finds it to be the cutest thing and uses it against him 24/7

“low-key hoe ass jack” i actually snorted

-i really like this?? yes. idk how to expand but i love virgin!felix 

PSA: On Hoes

Men & Women are Human.

That’s the highest you can reach in this hierarchy.

Material goods, and objects, are owned by Humans.

A hoe isn’t a human, a hoe is an object. A hoe is possessed by a human. Most aren’t fully bought, they’re rented, and ownership changes. A hoe can be bought/rented.

Do the math, slavery in the West is abolished for a reason, because a slave is possessed by their master. A slave is equated to an object because you can buy or sell them.

If you rent-a-hoe, by no means do you have to treat that hoe well. You’re paying them for their services, might as well get the best out of it. If the hoe acts outta line, there’s plenty of hoes who’ll do the same the hoe does (maybe even for a lot less) but minus the drama, so replace them quick.

Many hoes try to take up the disguise of a human. A human has a rational mind, feelings, and can’t be bought. A hoe is just an object, so it’s easy for them to move from person to person. Easy for them to be opportunists. They’ll usually go out of their way to do something special for many people because in their mind they feel like they’re giving their hoe ass services up front and will receive a reward benefitting them afterwards. Hoes are opportunistic objects.

Keep your hoes in check and in line. If one fronted to you as a human, go check how quickly they moved. Took a day, a week, a month? That means in the background they’ve BEEN trying to work another deal out with someone. Also, think back at everything you provided the hoe, and ask yourself, did you really get the best out of it? 9,999,999/10,000,000 hoes know how to swindle humans and get 100000x more than what they should have been rewarded.

Remember one thing though, hoes are for children. When you grow up into your adult form, you’re gonna desire to be with the opposite gender’s adult form. In this day and age, many humans are stuck in childhood and never end up growing into adulthood.

Just make sure what you get with isn’t a hoe under the disguise of a human. Like I said, hoes are good at swindling and tricking people. If a hoe has told you something exclusive or something special, don’t be surprised if she’s said the same thing to numerous others. It ain’t nothing for a hoe to use sentimental or sexual language to most, because they’re objects. They have no emotions and no conscious. Throw them a form of payment (doesn’t have to be monetary, just something of value) and they’ll be obedient.

You just gotta ask yourself…

Is it worth it? Is it worth the money? It it worth the time?

The history of humankind, from experience of human to hoe, versus human to human, shows that human to hoe relations have been a waste of time, meanwhile human to human relations have shown to significantly beneficially improve the standard of living for both humans.

Human to hoe relations have historically shown to be a waste of time for humans, because hoes are the only ones that benefit from that. Then again, hoes are deceitful and are masters of trickery, so they take advantage of a child’s mind with ease. They also know how to act very well. Again, hoes are objects without true or real feelings, so when they act, they just mimic or imitate human behavior. They don’t feel what they act, they just put on a convincing show to trick humans.

Beware of hoes that you knowingly commence a journey with, children. And adults, beware of these hoes that pretend to be humans.

Be Safe.

1

anonymous asked:

Do you think the boys will sue 1DHQ?

hiiiiiii

i dooooo! i think they are going to sue them a whole lot. i think Modest is at the very least aware of that, and that’s why there are a lot of very shady, very Cash 4 Gold-esque  “i am a nigerian prince that needs your bank account” type of shady things that happened surrounding their company and it’s filings the past several months. 

I don’t know if the boys will be allowed to carry on as One Direction as is, or  if 1DHQ will try to  legally dick slap them with some sort of legalese that they can’t record under or continue on with the One Direction name. So they might very well have to try to sue for intellectual rights* to continue on as and record under the One Direction name, similar to the way *NSYNC had to fight for their name when they were sued by Lou Pearlman & Transcontinental Records in 1999.

I do think the boys were probably cheated out of a lot of unpaid wages, and that would be what I would guess would be the heart of the lawsuit more so than the boys suing for any type of punitive damages (although we all know those precious sparkle bananas would have more than enough to sue for punitive damages too).  A good place for you to educate yourself on a lot of the inconsistencies between each One Direction member’s earnings and the band’s overall profits is @business-direction‘s Modest tags 

*i am not a legal hoe, so i might have just used the wrong word for things but i hope you understand what i mean

anonymous asked:

you and dymx are nothing but bullies. talk bad about naruhina and hate on it 'cause it's an innocent ship where the girl is the opposite of you both. lol you're both bitter bitches jelly that a girl you two usually bully ended up being nr 1 and loved by everyone. pathetic hoes, cry us a river.

I’d usually laugh at these things but this one is just so incredibly stupid i literally need a minute to process the fact that someone from the same species as me sat down and typed this.

How are dymx and i bullies because we don’t ship naruh!na??? I have a really hard time understanding this? Have we harassed anyone? No. Have we shamed anyone who ships it? No. Have we stopped anyone from shipping it? No. Literally all we have ever done is voice the SIMPLE fact that we DO NOT ship the pairing. People like you seem to be so THREATENED by this for some reason and it’s just ??? why?  Do you actually, with your entire brain and knowledge believe that we’re hating Hinata because she’s the “ opposite “ of us ??? lmao are you so fucking stupid to actually believe this? Well i’m so NOT SORRY that i don’t like a fantasy wish-fulfillment characters basically existing to be fetishized and glorified for her flawless humane character. I’m SO NOT sorry that i like realistic pairings. Get the fuck out of here.

If you have a problem with me and dymx’s confidence and the fact that we like characters with actual realistic human flaws, who make mistakes that  are actually  possible to be hated for, then that’s a problem YOU need to solve, not us.

So actually, YOU can cry us a river. We don’t give two shits about your shoujo, guilt-pity ship 

Thanks To Luke - Requested (Michael)

Requested by Anon - Hey, could you do a Michael imagine where you’re Luke’s best friend and you get reunited for the fist time in like years and MIKEY likes you and in sorry of this doesn’t make sense:( thank you love!x

4 years 6 months and 3 days ago I moved to New York City. Everyone knows of NYC - The Big Apple, The City that Never Sleeps - the place for me to start fresh away from the life I once had in Australia. Though I loved being here, I wanted to go home. I left everyone I’ve ever known there and I was ready to go. I had my time away, I finished studying at NYU and since my graduation was in one week, I was oh so close to getting back to Sydney. I had some struggles with life after my mum passed away because she was all I had. I heard a knock on my door.

“Who is it?” I asked. I didn’t expect anyone to be coming over tonight. They didn’t answer and when I looked out my peep hole I dropped my tea. “LUKE” I shouted as I flung the door open. I hadn’t seen my best friend since I left. “What are you doing here?” I asked a I hugged him tight. I refused to let him go because he was a little piece of home.

“I wanted to surprise you” he answered. “My band is on tour over here and I figured that you couldn’t be that hard to find. In case you are wondering…I was wrong. I knew you were at NYU so I had to search the student directory and I still couldn’t find you so I started asking some kids that were hanging around the School of Social Work and Y/F/N said she knew you. She helped me get here since I couldn’t understand the subway here” he rambled. I finally let go of him and stood back.

“You managed to grow more” I laughed. “Where is the rest of the band?”  asked as I looked behind him thinking maybe I missed them. I have heard of them but was unable to ever meet them. 

“I figured that maybe you could come to the show tonight. You could meet them all and hang out and stuff” he told me.

I looked at my books. My LSW exam was in 8 days, I should be studying. He followed my eyes toward my books. “It’s okay Y/N, I know how important school is to you. Maybe another time” he says.

“NO!” I said a little louder then I had expected to. I grabbed my jacket and told him “lets go, I’ll show you around a bit before the show.” I brought Luke to Times Square and showed him some of my favorite places around there before finally ending up at the Nintendo World Store. “I come here to relax sometimes” I told him. “Sounds odd but it makes me think of sitting at home with you and just playing all day.” I hugged him again “I miss home” I told him. 

“Lets go back to the other guys, get you around some other Aussies and hopefully that will help. My mum is there too and she cannot wait to see you!” he smiled.

—-

“This is Ashton and Calum” Luke says as he introduces me to the boys I heard almost everything about. 

“Wooooooow, the world famous Y/N” Calum laughs. “Never thought I’d see the day" 

"You know, if I never left, Luke wouldn’t have needed any more friends so I’m just saying….You need to thank me for your band” I joked and the three boys laughed.

“I can see what you mean about her humor” Ashton says.

“Where is Michael?” Luke questions.

“I think he is in the back playing FIFA” Ashton replies.

“FIFA? YOU GUYS HAVE FIFA HERE?” I said with wide eyes. Luke just laughed and ushered me into the back room where I saw him. You know how they say when you meet your soulmate you just know? I never believed in any of that until I saw the white haired kid wearing a beat up Harley Davidson shirt and focused wholly on the game in front of him.

‘Mikey, this is Y/N" Luke says a little louder then I thought was necessary. When he didn’t look up Luke was about to speak louder but I stopped him.

“Lukey boy, you don’t just interrupt someone while they are mid game” I said while taking a seat next to Michael on the couch. I was trying to play it cool and I was hoping that when he did finally pay attention, he wouldn’t be able to tell that I was nervous. He put the game on pause.

“You play?” he asked. I shook my head yes and he just stared.

“Is it so hard of you to believe that a girl likes FIFA?” was my response. Michael had a smirk and restarted the game, handing me a controller and looking at me. 

“We’re gonna get along pretty good” he said and turned back to the game. I don’t know when Luke left but I was faintly aware when he walked back in with Calum and Ashton following close behind. They all looked between me and Michael and had a smile.

After the show had ended and I said goodbye to the boys, I went back to my apartment and sat down at my desk. I tried to study but my thoughts kept going back to Michael. I turned my music on and got my notebook out. I had to get him out of my head, he is my best friend’s band mate, I can’t go there. I continued to keep contact with not only Luke, but I heard from Ashton and Calum several times since I last saw them. Michael made no effort to contact me and although that hurt me a little, I knew it was going to help me focus. I studied for 8 days straight and on the morning of my LSW exam I received a picture from Luke of him and Michael smiling while on a street somewhere with the caption *good luck baby girl, call me when you get your results* I smiled and walked into the exam room. Results were instant and in that instant, my life was changed. I graduated college, I am a LSW and I could go home, I could go anywhere. When I got back to my apartment at 7:30 there was a small package sitting in my mailbox. I opened it and found a ticket to London with a pack of gum, a gift card for the book store, a new pair of beats and a neck pillow. I read the note that went along with it.

* We knew you could do it! Now hurry up and pack, your trip starts at 9 tonight!* Although I knew I was going to London, I could only speculate that I would be meeting up with the boys. I quickly packed a bag with enough clothes for 3 weeks because I don’t know how to be a light packer and there was no return ticket, so I didn’t know how long I would be there. I shot Luke a quick text thanking him for the stuff but did not receive an answer. I looked on my phone to find it was 12:30 am in London, they should be up but oh well. I did some things around the apartment so it wouldn’t look horrid when I did come home and I called Y/F/N and told her what was happening. She has 3 room mates so when I offered for her to stay at my place while I was away, she jumped right at the chance. I hailed a cab and set off to the airport. 

Landing in London was a new experience. There were a lot more people then I expected to see but I was well rested and ready to take on the world. I took a sleeping pill before boarding the plane so I could beat jet lag and I wasn’t surprised when Liz was the only one to pick me up from the airport. NO ONE is able to get Luke up before noon unless he has to be up. 

“Hey hun!” Liz said as she took me into her arms. “I can’t believe it! You are officially all grown up and with a degree and everything” she smiled. The boys are all still asleep but if you want you can come back to my room at the hotel and shower and take some time to yourself before you get bombarded by them.“ I decided that she had the best plan and took her up on that offer. "So, I hear someone caught the eye of our Mikey” she told me. 

“What do you mean?” I asked as I blushed.

She laughed and told me about how Michael could not stop bugging Luke to make sure it was okay to try and take me on a date. Luke apparently was apprehensive at first but Liz thinks he will fold soon. Not long after I was showered and settled in there was a ruckus as the door and 4 boys came bounding into the room with Michael in the lead. I was surprised because he hadn’t talked to me while we were apart but before Luke could say anything he rushed out a quick “tonight, my room, FIFA round 7 and this time you are going down.” I thought I hid my blush well enough when I joked about how he will never be able to beat me when Calum pinched my cheek.

“OOOOO someone is blushing!!!” he said. I could tell Luke was a little flustered but he hadn’t said anything so I just hugged him and said hello to all the boys. After a few minutes of playing catch up I pulled Luke aside for a walk.

“Do you have a problem with me hanging out with Michael, Luke?” I asked.

“No, it’s not that” Luke answered.

“What is it then?” I knew that Michael liked me because Liz had told me, but the boys didn’t know that I knew.

“Okay, here is the deal” he said stopping mid walk. “Michael likes you and he wants to ask you out on a date but I’m afraid that if it doesn’t go well then you won’t want to stay on tour with us. I mean you would have to have an official title so that the fans don’t get all in your business but I don’t want it to ruin the chances of you saying that you will stay.” I looked at him wide eyed.

“I have only been here for a few hours. How do you know that you want me to stay?” I inquired.

“I have wanted it for a long time but I wasn’t going to take you away from school and you had already committed by the time I was able to find something for you to do and the boys like you and I just don’t want you to feel weird” he tells me.

“I’ll make you a deal Luke, you let Michael handle his feelings in his own time and we will take it from there. I would love to stay and even if something happened between him and I, there is nothing that could keep me away from my favorite boy. It will always be a kinda bros before hoes/chicks before dicks thing between us, I promise. I would never want to ruin that but I need you to tell me that you are okay with me hanging out with him” I said.

“I knew it would come down this path as soon as I saw you set your eyes on him. I knew he liked you too when he actually restarted and added a second player mid game. Mikey NEVER does that. So yeah, I’m okay with it if you are” he finished. I smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

“Well then, I have a FIFA date to go on” I laughed. I made it to Michael’s room and knocked on the door. When he opened it he lead me to the living room where he had FIFA all set up and snacks all around. I smiled and thought to myself * definitely soul mates* I hadn’t realized I laughed out loud till Michael asked what I was laughing at. I blushed and told him that I was a fan of the wide array of food he had out. He just smiled as a response and sat down handing me a pink controller. 

“I got you your own controller because I figured we would be doing this a lot” he told me. We played for 4 hours before jet lag hit me suddenly. Michael offered me his bed but I told him that I was going to go to Liz’s room because I didn’t think it was a good idea. I sat down on the bed to change and apparently I was tired enough that I didn’t even get through taking off the second sock before I was asleep on the end of the bed. I woke up for a bit when Luke shifted me to the pillows and covered me up but was out again before he even said goodnight.

—-

3 weeks had passed and I couldn’t believe how much fun I had been having. When the boys had interviews and places to be, Liz and I would shop and explore London and when they didn’t, I spent most of my time watching movies with them or playing video games with Michael. One day out of the blue Michael turned to me and paused the game. 

“I was wondering if maybe we could make it official” he said to me. I was slightly confused and I told him so. “I know that you know that I like you. Luke told me that he said it on day 1 and I was hoping that you liked me back. I mean we spend most of the day together and it would be really cool if ya know, you would be like my girlfriend or whatever.” I laughed at the way he asked.

“Always the romantic” I answered. He looked at me and didn’t say anything for a minute.

“Yeah, well that’s why I got this” he said handing me a wrapped present. 

“Mikey, you didn’t have to get me anything” I told him.

“Just open it” he replied. I unwrapped the present and gasped when there was a picture of All Time Low, signed by all of them and at the bottom Alex had written* Y/N, just say yes! The dude has been talking about you for weeks!* I yelled out a “YES” before I knew it and Mikey wrapped his arms around me.

“Oh thank God” he said. “If you had said no to this, Jack would never let me live this down” I could have almost cried. My boyfriend (man it was weird to say that) had gone as far as to calling a favor in to his friends and my favorite band ever to make this happen. I grabbed Michael’s face and kissed him just as I heard a door open and Luke’s voice.

“There you go guys” he said. I turned around to see him on face time with someone. “I guess she said yes Jack so you don’t get to do the rejected dance” I heard Jack laugh. I sat looking straight forward. “You okay Y/N?” Luke asked.

“I’m afraid that if I blink then this will all be a dream. I’m dating THE Michael Clifford from 5 Seconds of Summer, I’m best friends with THE Luke Hemmings and he is on the phone with FUCKING JACK BARAKAT!” I shouted. I heard Jack laugh again and turned to the phone.

“Not a dream, a dream would be if you were dating me” he joked with one eyebrow raised. I laughed and Michael wrapped his arms around me. 

“Back up Barakat, this one is mine” he said placing a kiss on my cheek.

I could only think at that moment how dramatically my life had changed in just a few months and I couldn’t believe that it was this amazing after such a crappy time after my mum died. This was me, this was my life, and this. was. perfect.

something is really pissing me the fuck off about all this nicki minaj commentary

it's that SO MANY BLACK WOMEN (cis hetero ones in particular, cuz no cis glb/ queer or trans women i interact with have uttered this shit) are talking about nicki being “conveniently pro black” or “conveniently race conscious.” now, i understand that black celebrities potentially destroy their careers the second they speak up for racial justice. i am perfectly clear, though, that as long as you are black in this world and have any understanding of or opinion on narratives into which you’re forced, you ARE race conscious. it isn’t about someone out-blacking another person by fanon quotes or making some radical transformation the second they have their grand negro awakening. especially when most of us haven’t even had that. all this chatter indicates one very specific attitude: nicki isn’t relatable to you, so you don’t want her representing you. that’s understandable. you don’t like her music or her sculptured/ surgered body? aight. does it change the obvious misogynoiristic blowback she experiences, especially because of the cover of “anaconda?” no, boo. it does not. does this mean she cannot speak up for herself against said misogynoir? no. it does not. further, does her at times problematic choice of lyrics mean she’s somehow not impacted by the same damaging shit all black women and girls face constantly? I can live without her casual references to rape. I’m not okay with the nappy headed hoes thing, for reasons. i know that the most effective emcees use metaphors, imagery, onomatopoeia, and all other poetic devices in their songs. this isn’t an excuse. if you don’t like what she says, that’s peace. it seems over and over again that folks forget you don’t have to relate to or like someone to affirm their fucking humanity. that includes nicki. the message i get over and over again from folks: she’s not the right kind of black woman to be bringing this shit up. she isn’t scholarly enough, not dignified enough, way too ratchet … shall i go on? it’s gatekeeping, imo. there is a marked difference between deciding you don’t want someone to speak for you and saying “you aren’t good enough to be part of a group to which i belong.” so, I’m sayin … good job. you’re doing the work that destroys black women and girls all the time. for each one of us who is black, there is a unique blackness we embody. and it seems to me that the only “wrong” way to be black is to wield your identity as a weapon against another black person.