hoe is crazy

A Way Back Home [Intro]

Requested: No

Summary: (college!au) Where you’ve been with them since pre-school, and now you’re all “grown” up, conveniently going to the same college. There’s a change in dynamic though: a constant, tension-filled loop going on with a broken friendship, but no matter what- there’s always a way back home.

Word Count: 1,026

Pairing: Michael x Reader

Warnings: Nothing (unless you’re bothered by some pre-schoolers).

[Author’s Note at the end.]

Keep reading

Things I've Seen in My Art Dept

1. Golden vaginas tied to all the door handles
2. Shirtless men walking around connected by a red string via their belly buttons
3. Someone burning a giant egg
4. My lecturer dyeing his beard blue and wearing fishnet stockings
5. A church group formed to pray for all the gay people in our dept.
6. Giant purple elephant plushie (maybe 2.5m long)
7. A guy walking around with a tiger tail
8. A 10m portrait of Donald Trump
9. A lecturer and a student having a physical fight over star wars vs. star trek
10. A cum painting

  • you: What the fuck why is this in court, he obviously didn't do shit and the white bitch a hoe with a crazy bitch ass father, y'all are just racist af, let the man go #BlackLivesMtter
  • Atticus, an intellectual: To begin with, this case should never have come to trial. The state has not produced one iota of medical evidence that the crime Tom Robinson is charged with ever took place... It has relied instead upon the testimony of two witnesses, whose evidence has not only been called into serious question on cross-examination, but has been flatly contradicted by the defendant. Now, there is circumstantial evidence to indicate that Mayella Ewel was beaten - savagely, by someone who led exclusively with his left. And Tom Robinson now sits before you having taken the oath with the only good hand he possesses... his RIGHT. I have nothing but pity in my heart for the chief witness for the State. She is the victim of cruel poverty and ignorance. But my pity does not extend so far as to her putting a man's life at stake, which she has done in an effort to get rid of her own guilt. Now I say "guilt," gentlemen, because it was guilt that motivated her. She's committed no crime - she has merely broken a rigid and time-honored code of our society, a code so severe that whoever breaks it is hounded from our midst as unfit to live with. She must destroy the evidence of her offense. But what was the evidence of her offense? Tom Robinson, a human being. She must put Tom Robinson away from her. Tom Robinson was to her a daily reminder of what she did. Now, what did she do? She tempted a Negro. She was white, and she tempted a Negro. She did something that, in our society, is unspeakable. She kissed a black man. Not an old uncle, but a strong, young Negro man. No code mattered to her before she broke it, but it came crashing down on her afterwards. The witnesses for the State, with the exception of the sheriff of Maycomb County have presented themselves to you gentlemen, to this court in the cynical confidence that their testimony would not be doubted, confident that you gentlemen would go along with them on the assumption... the evil assumption that all Negroes lie, all Negroes are basically immoral beings, all Negro men are not to be trusted around our women. An assumption that one associates with minds of their caliber, and which is, in itself, gentlemen, a lie, which I do not need to point out to you. And so, a quiet, humble, respectable Negro, who has had the unmitigated TEMERITY to feel sorry for a white woman, has had to put his word against TWO white people's! The defendant is not guilty - but somebody in this courtroom is. Now, gentlemen, in this country, our courts are the great levelers. In our courts, all men are created equal. I'm no idealist to believe firmly in the integrity of our courts and of our jury system - that's no ideal to me. That is a living, working reality! Now I am confident that you gentlemen will review, without passion, the evidence that you have heard, come to a decision and restore this man to his family. In the name of GOD, do your duty. In the name of God, believe... Tom Robinson.

Sounds to me like the Hasting/Dilaurentis families are like the Skywalkers of Rosewood. The whole entire family just fuckin everyone’s lives up with their drama.

Namjin quarrel

PD: *announces* So as you guys know, Namjoon has lost his passport…

Hoseok: *mutters sassily* No shit. The one thing we were told not to lose, he loses. 

Jin: *sighs* You had one job Namjoon. One job… 

PD: His paperwork’s didn’t get approved by the embassy therefore he is going back to Korea on his own today. 

Jin: *internally screaming*

PD: Since he will be missing out on your experiences, Rap Mon will be given an allowance along with no schedule until you all come back, to make up for it.

Namjoon: *unable to hide smile* HA I WIN  I mean- Oh nooo, I’m sooo sad, booo!

Vkook: *done with everything* Are you fucking kidding me?! Were done with this trip and getting lost and shit.

Jin: You’re fucking leaving me to look after 4 hormonal kids and your old ass dad? Me?!

Hoseok: Look what shit you got us into, Dad.

Yoongi: *desperate* Son, is this really how you’re going to repay your father? 

Namjoon: *to the PD* Do I go now? 

Jin: *fierce* So you’re really going to leave me huh?

Hoseok: Ooooh she angry now…

Vkook: *whispers to Appa* Just say no if you want to live…

Namjoon: *causally* Yes of course.

Namjoon: *sticks hand out quickly* Ill be waiting for you at home, honey.

Jin: *Internally plotting a way to kill him*

Hoseok: *mumbles* Stupid ass has got a death wish.

Taehyung: *internally* Oh dad, what have you done…

Jungkook: *offers hand out of second hand embarrassment* Stay safe.

Jin: *Puts out hand simultaneously as jungkook does and is rejected. Internally done with everything* Hes a dead man is2g.

Jin: *in a snide way* Have safe trip home, honey.

Namjoon: *looks away scared to make eye contact* Thanks, I will.

Hoseok: *scared* I know that look, whats this crazy hoe done?

Jungkook: *sincerely* Run while you still have feet.

Suga: Just don’t lose the house keys on the plane, or else I’ll really disown you.*mutters* making me rely on this pink boy who cant even cook ramen.


Namjoon: *frantically searches for keys*

Jin: *savagely and emotionless* Have fun sleeping outside. Kids, lets go.

Namjoon: Tell me where they are!

Jin: *in the distance* Up my ass! Have a safe flight home, honey!

Namjoon: .

Dr Phil :Suho’s Story Part 1

Dr.Phil: Hi I’m Dr.Phil and I’m here with Suho. A single mother of um…/thinks/

Suho: EIGHT

Dr.Phil: Eight…We were notified about Suho’s reckless habits and are here to try to save him from ruining not only himself but his family

Audience:/claps/

Dr.Phil:/looks over at Suho/ Now Your son was actually the one who contacted us..did you know?

Suho:/laughs/ No…I had a bag thrown over my head and was thrown into the back of a white van

Audience:/laughs/

Suho: I’m being serious

Dr.Phil: Your youngest Sehun notified us about you being an alcoholic apparently. How much would you say that you drink Daily?

Suho:/laughs shaking his head while looking down/

Dr.Phil: I’m sorry is something wrong?

Suho:/laughing/ I’m just amused at the fact that you’ve accused me of such../wipes the tears from his eyes/ Its simply not true

Dr.Phil: Suho We have your son backstage

Suho:/flips his hair/ Bring his ass out

Dr.Phil: SEHUN COME ON OUT

Sehun:/struts his ass out while holding vivi/

Audience:/claps/

Suho:/rolls his eyes/

Sehun:/glares at Suho as he sits down/

Dr.Phil: Sehun you called us because you said that your mothers alcoholic episodes are causing problems at home

Sehun:/nods as he pets Vivi/ Yes~

Dr. Phil: Can you tell what happens during these episodes of his?

Sehun: Well he usually downs a bottle of wine but if that’s not enough he turns to vodka

Suho:/snorts/ No no no..that is a lie

Sehun: See he’s in denial….when he’s drunk all he does is cry, scream or thinks he’s still married

Dr. Phil: You say he often cries for your father

Sehun: Yes he will usually ask where he is and it gets really annoying…I get tired of hearing “YIFAN! YIFAN”

Suho:/ triggered af/ Don’t you speak of him!!

Sehun: YIFAN YIFAN YIFAN

Suho: LOOK HERE BUBBLE BUTT I AM NOT ABOUT TO LET YOU DISRESPECT ME ON NATIONAL TV

Sehun:/ gasps offended af/ EXCUSE ME?!

Dr.Phil:/to the technical crew/ TURN ON THE CENSORS

Suho: YOU AND YOUR *beep* EXCERCISE TAPES

Sehun:/gets up/ *Beep* YOU AND YOUR LITTLE *beeep beep beep beeeeeep*

Suho:/jumping up and down screaming/ *beeeeeep beep beeeep beeeeeeep*

Jin:/sitting backstage with the girls/ Guys this looks bad

Key:/doing his makeup/ No no let him embarrass himself

Heechul: This hoe is crazy

N:/asking the staff/ Sooo…where’s the buffet?

Jinyoung:/shakes his head/ You see an ass whooping would shut that shit down..Suho needs to learn all about the art of discipline

N:/looks at the snack table/ Wait a minute..now this ain’t no damn buffet. I have been to a buffet bar and this ain’t it!!

Heechul/looks away from the tv and at Yifan / And you were married to that?

Yifan:/groans and buries his face in his hands/ Why the fuck did I come back?

Jin: Suho is going to shit bricks when he sees you

Security:/breaks up the fight between Suho and Sehun/

Sehun: I BROKE A NAIL..I’M MAD AS HELL

Key:/laughs/ Just to think we’ve got a whole other episode to go

To be continued

the signs as hoes
  • Aries: Crazy Hoe
  • Taurus: Art Hoe
  • Gemini: Squad Leader Hoe
  • Cancer: Lowkey Hoe
  • Leo: Highkey Hoe
  • Virgo: Religious Hoe
  • Libra: Petty Hoe
  • Scorpio: Supreme Hoe
  • Sagittarius: Fabulous Hoe
  • Capricorn: Rich Hoe
  • Aquarius: Bohemian Hoe
  • Pisces: Crybaby Hoe
Kpop KakaoTalk Groupchat!!

Helloooo! Since I lack any kpop stan friends I would like to make a groupchat on KakaoTalk dedicated to it!


Rules!!
- must be a kpop stan (obviously)
- please be at least 12+
- must be okay with r-rated language
(I curse a lot)
- please be able to speak English fluently!
- any kpop fandom is welcome but the main groups I stan are BTS, EXO, GOT7, SVT, & MONSTAX, so fans of those groups would be appreciated!
- BE A HOE (I get crazy just warning you, you have to be okay with weird convo’s!)
- gc is limited to 15 people plzzz
(first come first serve)
-after the fifteen you’re welcome to Rb this to advertise to other people but please no asks/ messages asking if you can be added!!😇
(I’ll put out a notice when it has been closed!)
- Everything doesn’t necessarily HAVE to be about kpop we can talk about other things too!
- PLEASE PLEASE don’t start drama/ fandom wars :((
- lastly have fun and meet some new people!!

****

To get in please MESSAGE ME IN MY ASK BOX WITH YOUR KAKAOTALK ID!
(Once I have at least 4-5 I’ll create the gc)

I am this type of girlfriend. If a girl up on my man i will knock that bitch right out. No stopping me once i start. I will destroy her so bad she will never look at my man or any man again. These hoes and bitches better watch the fuck out. I dont put up with the just friends or ex’s bullshit. I will be all up on your shit. Im the crazy girlfriend