hockey tips

Rules and tips for dating a hockey player:

1.go like this:

2.spin around

3.stop!

4.double take three times. 1, 2, 3!

5. theeeeeen, pelvic thrust!

6.Stop on your right foot. (Super important DON’T FORGET IT)

7.bring it around town. bring. it. around. town.

8. then you do this:

9: then this:

10. and this:

11. and that

12. and this and that and this and that

And if you can do half of these you are most likely mentally mature enough to date a hockey player

So English is not my native language

…..but I am surprised at how people who claim to have it as their first (and often, only) language cannot tell the difference between possessive and plural forms. 

This is the possessive form of the word ‘table’: table’s. You use the apostrophe (‘s) when you want to describe something that belongs to the table, or some quality of the table, or something that the table fucking possesses. For example;

  • This is the table’s edge. 
  • This is the table’s right place. 
  • This is how you write the table’s fucking possessive form. 
  • This table’s slightly crooked. (Here you are describing an attribute of the table - crookedness - by contracting “the table is” to “the table’s”). 

If the word itself ends in an ‘s’ don’t add another ‘s’ - just add an apostrophe (’).

  • The abbess’ piety is well-known.
  • The skittles’ colour is green. 
  •  My glasses’ frames are green. 

On the other hand, if you want to write the plural form of the word table, you leave out the apostrophe and just add an ‘s’:  one table, two tables, many tables, but never “table’s”. For example; 

  • I’m going to buy five tables at IKEA. 
  • We can just put all the food on the tables
  • Tables’ is how you write the fucking plural form of ‘table’. 

The same rule applies when you are talking about people. Therefore, I present to you the possessive

  • This is Jonny’s hockey stick. (Don’t forget the apostrophe because there’s only one Jonny)
  • This is Geno’s dog. (Don’t forget the apostrophe because there’s only one Geno, thank goodness). 
  • Derek is Stiles’ werewolf. (If the word or name ends with a ‘s’, you just put an apostrophe at the end of the name and don’t add an extra s.)
  • Draco’s love for Harry is well-known. 
  • Hermione’s commitment to good grammar is what makes her weep when she reads your fan-fiction. 
  • This is Sidney’s house. 

And now the plural: 

  •  The Malkins are coming over for dinner. (You are referring to more than one Kane, so you use the plural form. Not “the Malkin’s are coming over for dinner”, but “the Malkins are coming over for dinner”.)
  • Sharpy and Kaner are both mocking Jonny, and that’s more Patricks than Jonny can handle. (You are referring to more than one Patrick, so no fucking apostrophe). 
  • Sidney has built several houses and he hates them all. (You are talking about several houses and not the particular attributes of any house). 
  • Draco has lots of pet snakes. (Not snake’s)
  • Hermione is way too old for all these silly mistakes. (Not mistake’s).

What if you want to write about many things that belong to many people? Don’t let your head explode. Here’s how you do it. 

  • Who are the people? Let’s say you’re talking about the Hale family. 
  • What are the things? Let’s say you’re talking about all their houses. 
  • What about the houses? Well, let’s say they’re beautiful. 

The Hales have many houses. 

Let’s break it down. Many people named Hale? Say Hales, not Hale’s. More than one house? Say houses, not house’s. 

The Hales’ houses are beautiful. 

Let’s break it down again. More than one Hale? Hales. More than one house? Houses. Possessive form of Hales? It ends with an ‘s’ so just add an apostrophe and you’re done. Hales’ Houses. 

Some more examples:

  • Derek started a solo construction company, and he named it ‘Hale’s Houses’. 
  • Derek Hale has a house. It’s Hale’s house
  • Derek and Cora started a construction company, and they named it ‘Hales’ Houses’. 
  • Derek and Cora Hale have a house. It’s the Hales’ house. 


It took me a long time to learn this (as the title of this post indicates, English is not my first language, or even my second, or for that matter, my third). If I, at the hoary old age of twenty-three could learn this, you, who have been speaking, reading, and writing this language for your entire life, should be able to master it too. I still don’t get it right all the time, but I try. 

I’m going to preemptively apologise for all the grammatical mistakes that I myself have made in this post. I’m happy to correct them if you point them out, because learning is an ongoing process and I will never be ashamed of making mistakes as long as I am willing to try and learn from them. 

rules and tips for dating a hockey player

1. We’re no strangers to love
2. You know the rules and so do I
3. A full commitments what I’m thinking of
4. You wouldn’t get this from any other guy
5. I just want to tell you how I’m feeling
6. Got to make you understand
7. Never gonna give you up
8. Never gonna let you down
9. Never gonna run around and desert you
10. Never gonna make you cry
11. Never gonna say goodbye
12. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Rules and tips for dating a hockey player:

1. So no one told you life was gonna be this way
2. 👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽
3.Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s D.O.A.
4. It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear
5. When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, but
6. I’ll be there for you (When the rain starts to pour)
7. I’ll be there for you (Like I’ve been there before)
8. I’ll be there for you (‘Cause you’re there for me too)

Sister Date | Zach Dempsey x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Romance
POV: Reader’s/First Person

A/N: Hi guys! It’s been a while since I’ve posted a write up I’m sorry I just don’t have that much time to write anymore. I remember when I used to post imagines everyday, so sorry but I think I’m gonna be able to write once or twice a week now. But yeah, anyway this was requested and I had fun writing this. Sorry this took so long! Enjoy!

Request:  Could you do an imagine where Zach is confused your at his house bc he knows y'all didn’t make any plans but then you’re like “oh I’m not here for you. I promised may (his sister) that I would take her shopping” and just zach getting all happy that you’re spending time with his sister.

—–

I knock at the huge front door of the Dempsey’s while straightening out my top. A couple of seconds later and the door swings open and a pleasantly surprised Zach Dempsey stands in front of me. His eyes were opened wide in shock.

“Well this is a nice surprise!” Zach exclaims as he pulls me in for a hug then kisses the crown of my head.

“I thought you were doing something today, babe? What brings you here?” he continues to ask as he takes a piece of hair away from my face and pushes it behind my ear.

“Oh, I’m not here for you.” I reply as I pinch both of his cheeks.

“I’m here for your sister. I promised her that we’ll go out together today.” I add.

“Aww, that’s great babe! I’ll just get changed for a minute and come back down then.” he replies but before he could leave, I grab his wrist and laugh.

“Babe, it’s a girls’ day out. You can’t come.” I tell him and he pouts.

Keep reading

hockey player dating tips

lie to strangers on tumblr about hooking up with hockey players and be a manipulative dick to everyone until people start calling you out and you delete your blog

also use these emojis a lot 💅💁

Rules and tips for dating a hockey player:

Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said, “You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.”

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, “I might as well kick it.”

First class, yo, this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmm, this might be alright.

But wait I hear they’re prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don’t think so
I’ll see when I get there
I hope they’re prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain’t trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said “Fresh” and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought, “Nah, forget it.”
“Yo, home to Bel-Air.”

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie, “Yo home smell ya later.”
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air

Rules and Tips for Dating A Hockey Player

1. Great moments are born from great opportunity.

2. And that’s what you have here tonight, boys.

3. That’s what you have earned here, tonight. One game.

4. If we played ‘em ten times they might win nine.

5. But not this game. Not tonight.

6. Tonight, we skate with ‘em.

7. Tonight, we stay with ‘em, and we shut them down because we can!

8. Tonight, we are the greatest hockey team in the world.

9. You were born to be hockey players — every one of ya.

10. This is your time.

11. Their time — is done. It’s over.

12. I’m sick and tired of hearing about what a great hockey team the Soviets have.

13. Screw them. This is your time!!

14. Now go out there take it!”

Rules and tips for dating a hockey player:

Once upon a time not so long ago

Tommy used to work on the docks
Union’s been on strike
He’s down on his luck…
It’s tough, so tough

Gina works the diner all day
Working for her man,
She brings home her pay
For love, for love

She says, “We’ve gotta hold on to what we’ve got.
It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not.
We’ve got each other and that’s a lot.
For love we’ll give it a shot.”

Whoa, we’re half way there
Whoa, livin’ on a prayer
Take my hand, we’ll make it - I swear
Whoa, livin’ on a prayer

Tommy’s got his six string in hock
Now he’s holding in
What he used to make it talk
So tough, it’s tough

Gina dreams of running away
When she cries in the night
Tommy whispers,
“Baby, it’s okay, someday…

…We’ve gotta hold on to what we’ve got.
It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not.
We’ve got each other and that’s a lot.
For love we’ll give it a shot.”

Whoa, we’re half way there
Whoa, livin’ on a prayer
Take my hand, we’ll make it - I swear
Whoa, livin’ on a prayer

Livin’ on a prayer

We’ve gotta hold on, ready or not
You live for the fight when it’s all that you’ve got

Whoa, we’re half way there
Whoa, livin’ on a prayer
Take my hand, we’ll make it - I swear
Whoa, livin’ on a prayer

Whoa, we’re half way there
Whoa, livin’ on a prayer
Take my hand, we’ll make it - I swear
Whoa, livin’ on a prayer