hockey coaches

The ultimate power move was when I told my hockey coach i can only play left wing because im too cute to play any other position and he just shrugged and said ok

  • Coach Q: So, Jonny, how long have you been sleeping with Patrick?
  • Jonny: What?! That's disgusting. And wrong. I don't even get--why would--I've never had sex with anyone, anywhere. It's none of your--you have--the nerve, the audacity. Patrick is my teammate, technically. And he's terrible, face wise. And how--how do I know, frankly, that you're not sleeping with him? Maybe you are. Maybe you're trying to throw me off. Hm? Check and mate.

He pushes open the gate, heart rate just starting to return to its baseline. Bitty’s kneeling in the dirt, tending to his vegetable patch. He wipes his sweaty face with his shirt as Bits says, “Hey, honey.” Bitty stands, jeans slightly muddy, and crosses his arms. “Jack.” Jack looks at him expectantly. He rolls his eyes and points with the trowel behind Jack. Jack spins and find a tiny muddy puppy at his heels.


“Hon, we’ll have to check missing pets,” Bitty warns. But he’s smiling, knowing Jack’s got a horrible habit of taking in strays. Jack’s already got the puppy cradled to his chest, cooing some nonsense at it. “And you’re not letting that dog run around in my clean house until you rinse him off.”

Jack grins at him, knowing Bitty’s caved already. Besides, what’s one more animal in the menagerie?

He strides to Bits and kisses him properly. “I’ll get the dog bathed while you think of what to name him.”

“Just once, I don’t let you name a guinea pig and now I’m the official name picker?”


“Jack, you need a shower.” Bitty pecks a kiss on Jack’s cheek and then pushes him towards the house.

“You gonna join me?”

“I don’t think my knees can do that anymore, sweetheart,” Bitty says regretfully, “but if you make it quick with the puppy, I’ll be in the bedroom.”

“Deal.” Jack kisses Bitty one more time and then jogs off to scrub down a wriggly puppy. From the way Jack’s talking to it, Bitty suspects it’ll be a while. That’s okay though. Since Jack retired, they’ve got all the time in the world to spend together.




Jack Zimmermann thought he learned everything about leading a team through his time in the Q. However, he realized he was very wrong when he first met a rag tag group of kids who were eager to call him Coach Z.

He never had to learn to be patient around players of his own age. If they were being a shitty player, he could just call them out on it. This was not the case with his team. Most of the kids were 10 or 11 years old. Half of them had never played before. Some hadn’t even been on ice before he started coaching. It was hard for him to be stern, yet gentle with them at the beginning. Eventually, he’d found a good balance. Those who he saw half-assing on the ice, regardless of whatever skill, were scolded. But those who were giving it the Coach Z 110%, were always praised. There may or may not have been candy for good playing. 

Jack had never felt prouder when he taught Hoots, an 11 year old, how to skate backwards. The way his face lit up when he said “I’m doing it!” is still one of Jack’s favorite memories. The next practice, Hoots had sprinted over to Jack and said that he had been practicing his backward skating all weekend. 

Jack’s hockey heart grew three sizes that day. 

Working with team inspired Jack to be better. If these kids were working hard, why couldn’t he? There were many times when Jack would be practicing before the kids showed up, only to not keep track of the time. There were lots of wolf whistles and cheers when he forgot to keep track of the time. 

When he decided to go to Samwell, he had been with his team for 2 years. He’d seen a lot of them change a lot on and off the ice. He promised he would keep in touch, but it was pretty infrequent. He heard from Lotter, an aggressive 9 year old, the most. In middle school, her shinnies had turned into something of an unofficial fight club. Zoomer stopped hockey in high school to join theatre, apparently he’s quite the good actor. He made sure to go to one of his musicals when he was on spring break. He got letters from at least half of the kids at least once or twice a year. Some of them were facebook friends. But again, it’s hard to keep in touch with 20 tweens. 

That didn’t stop them from all showing up in Falconers gear the first time he played in Montreal. Jack swore they cheered the loudest out of anyone in the arena. He couldn’t stop thinking about how they’d all grown so much. Most of them were in high school right now. Some were even in university. It was crazy. Once the game ended, he met with all of them. Of COURSE it ended in a big ass dog pile. 

After that, he didn’t expect to really interact with them ever again. That is, until Eric Bittle’s senior year. He is giving his official Welcome Tour of the Haus when one of the Frogs (or…as Bitty calls them, eggs. Seriously, Bitty.) asks if Jack Zimmermann really lived here. 

“Of course he did! He lived right across the hall from me”

“Cool!” the frog starts “I really hope I get to meet him again”


“Yeah. He coached my team in Montreal when I was 11. He taught me how to skate and everything!”

Bitty’s whole expression changed. “You wouldn’t happen to be called Hoots, would you?”

The frog nodded “Yeah! My name is Hoots!”

So the other day a friend and I were talking about sleeping situations, and she read that (in hockey, at least) coaches would normally be in the same room as the other coaches.  This, of course, got me thinking about the YOI coaches. 

Behold, the coaching AU I absolutely needed to write at ass o’clock in the morning  

- Viktor would 100 be the coach that starts shit before every competition, bragging about his fiancé skater n o n s t o p, and it drives the other coaches up the wall

- Celestino is the only one who says anything about it because he’s coached Yuri before and feels he has an unspoken right 

“Obviously Yuri is going to win the Grand Prix Final!  We’re going to get married afterward, you know?” 

“Vitya, I’ve seen your boy skate, and as much as I love him, he has nothing on my boy.” 

*cue Yakov bursting through the wall because “onLY I CAN CALL HIM VITYA.”

- Lilia isn’t even in the room because the minute Celestino said “Vitya” and she saw Yakov’s face contort into utter disgust and fury, she left to find and speak to Yurio about the FS and try out a new hairstyle on him 

- so now Yakov, Viktor, and Celestino are arguing with each other, which leaves Christophe’s coach to complain about how they’re all making ENTIRELY too much noise, like, “I’m tryna get my beauty sleep, and y’all are yelling at the top of your lungs”

Originally posted by jiferati

 - Otabek’s coach is somewhere in the hotel, stalking Otabek and Yurio like, “dear gOD BEKA DOES HAVE A FRIEND” *takes 2k pictures to document this moment in history* 

- cut back to Yakov crying about how he raised his Vitya to respect the competition 


“Wouldn’t that mean he grew down?” 


- Celestino is Triggered™, and Viktor is yelling even louder because “YAKOOOOOOOOOOV WE’RE ENGAGED HE’S MY BOY NOW” 

- JJ’s parents, who I assume are also his coaches, are also Triggered™ the whole time this is happening because all they can see is Otabek’s intense glare + scowl combo

Hockey Coach

Requested: could you do one where you are the ice hockey coach of aaliyah and at one parctise you meet shawn?



You’ve loved hockey for as long as you can remember. Now that you’re eighteen and attending university, you aren’t playing in a league like you used to, but you couldn’t walk away from hockey completely. That’s why you found yourself volunteering to coach a thirteen and under girls team. The girls are all sweethearts, although some days are more difficult than others. Coaching girls has taught you so much, even though you were their age only five years ago, you feel like you’re so different now, but they definitely remind you of yourself at that age. Thirteen is a hard age so you have to definitely be sensitive when you’re dealing with them.

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