hobbit sized

Please I need season2 of DGHDA to have an episode in which Dirk and Todd get stuck inside a passage with low roof and I want Dirk to hit the roof with his head and complain and I want Todd to make a joke saying Dirk’s “too tall” and I want to see Dirk replying with “I’m not that tall, maybe you’d hit your head too if you were not hobbit-sized” and then I want to see the horrified look on Elijah Wood’s face.

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“My legs were being pulled in all sorts of directions and suddenly there was a huge rip in the crotch of my trousers.” -Ryan Gage

At times you come across people in Tolkien fandom who seem to think Éowyn’s ending, her becoming the Princess of Ithilien and marrying Faramir, is somehow not a good conclusion to her story. To tell you the truth I often I get the feeling it’s because people are projecting what they want her to be instead of observing what her motivations actually are and what is her storyline. In good part, her marrying Faramir and moving to live in Ithilien being somehow a lacking ending seems to stem from this idea that’s prevalent in a lot of fiction that you can only be strong and badass and worthwhile if you’re this mighty soldier type who slays left and right. In this point of view, being - or becoming - soft and kind and committing yourself to healing doesn’t bring much glory, and thus it must be a bad ending especially for a woman. I guess it’s inevitable in this age when films and tv seem to be striving to create the ultimate epic scene with maximum drama and huge explosions all around.

Which is really against what Tolkien is about. In the core of his story, what his heroes are fighting for, is the celebration of the simple and quiet life. Yes, Tolkien describes some massive battles, but they are not the endgame (Frodo and Sam are), and they are not what the story really is about. Tolkien’s heroes are not heroes because they strive for glory - they achieve greatness because they do what they must, sometimes even at a great personal cost. Éowyn doesn’t become a hero because she rode to the Pelennor fields - she’s a hero because she tries to protect her beloved uncle against an overwhelming enemy. Another notable instance of Tolkien’s described heroism are those four little hobbits coming to save the world not because they are great and powerful, but because they are trying to save their Shire and their seemingly small way of life.

And why does Éowyn go to the battlefield before the walls of Minas Tirith? It’s because she’s so full of despair, because she feels caged in her life, and because she thirsts for the idea of glory in battle (which makes sense, considering Rohirrim are a warrior people). It’s also the idea of glory that she loves in Aragorn. But though she wins the greatest renown in the Battle of Pelennor fields when she slays the Witch-king, she doesn’t feel any less empty when she wakes up in the Houses of Healing. War doesn’t end her unhappiness, and how could it, anyway? Only when she starts to seek peace and a life of healing does she find a way out of her despair. And that is a beautiful thing in itself. The ending of Sauron doesn’t mean that she spends rest of her days in idleness. It’s told Ithilien has long been neglected and parts of it are stained by Sauron and his servants. But together with Faramir, Éowyn settles down there and wishes to become a healer in a land that needs just that: healing. And who can understand it better than her? She went into darkness but came back and was healed. As such, Éowyn has an unique perspective to mending what has been broken by and in war.

I think a lot of people who live now don’t really understand where Éowyn comes from and what her change of heart signifies – what it means that she desires to put aside the sword and tend to living things. Tolkien was a veteran of the First World War and he had seen what war could be. He saw the other side of the idea of battle glory. But in later years he took pleasure in nature and simple joys of life, be it a pipe or a pint of good beer. He even stated he’s a hobbit in all but size. In my opinion, this is very telling if you consider Éowyn’s character.

And this is also where, I think, one of the things Lord of the Rings draws its beauty and its bittersweet spirit. It is also another way in which Tolkien’s legendarium is unique not just in fantasy genre. This is a story that, in the end, celebrates the value of peace and good, simple things in life, but at the same time it shows just how fragile they are and how easily they can be lost. Tolkien had witnessed this intimately, both in his personal life and in a larger scale. In fact, if you consider Éowyn’s character arc as a whole you might argue she gets one of the happiest endings in the entire story. Éowyn begins as this dissatisfied, shut-in-herself, trapped person whose despair grows so bad that it becomes a deathwish. However, after her ordeals she gets to heal, to leave behind her despair and darkness. She learns to understand herself and her feelings, and she rediscovers the joy of living. She doesn’t need glory any more to validate herself. She goes to live in a beautiful, rich land where she can work to make it better not just for herself but others, too. She gets to love a wonderful man who returns her feelings, and she is given a chance to be a part of rebuilding the world. How this can be considered a “poor ending” for her, I will never know.

Éowyn deserves happiness, and that is exactly what Tolkien gives her, never mind people who think a woman’s story can’t be valid and good if she marries a man and settles down to live a life of peace.

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Middle Earth Dragon Size Comparison

Fun Fact: Ancalagon the Black’s size was only described by saying when he fell to the Earth after dying he crushed the towers of Thangorodrim (Morgoth’s evil fortress) 

The towers were described as the smoking peaks of 3 mountains. (The one in the hand on the graph & the three in the 2nd image as an example).

I added a size difference tag!

size difference!

1. A Hobbit-FIst:

Kink Meme Fill

Thorin’s dick is the size of Bilbo’s fist.

That’s really not a problem.

2. I Would Feel Like You Would Feel: 

Halflings do not have the right word for Mine like the dwarves do.

3. Last Night in Laketown:

Bilbo and Thorin simultaneously realise that the last time they had sex may be the last time they EVER have sex, with Smaug waiting just around the corner. There is only one problem where can they find short folk that are interested in sex with males in the middle of Laketown??! Sexy times ensue.


‘I can think of someone who’s your height and male.’ Bilbo said slowly, that drink may have been stronger than he had thought, this was crazy. Was he being a little too obvious?

‘I’m not having sex with Dwalin, he’s my best friend.’ Thorin snapped.

Fucking really? Bilbo sighed; it was a good job Thorin was pretty.

4. Too Much:

For my Hobbit Slash Love-Fest on Tumblr. When certain members of the company discover that Bilbo has very sensitive ears, they can do little more than take advantage of the knowledge.

5. A Little Thicker Than These Fingers:

Bilbo had taken some pride when Thorin had stated he was surprised the hobbit was so well endowed. He joked saying, “Well you know what they say about people with big feet,” which had earned a small laugh from Thorin. Bilbo’s pride quickly diminished the moment he saw exactly how large Thorin was.

6. A Handle on Love:

Thorin has a bit of a fixation on something Bilbo is very self conscious about. How long before the stoic dwarf’s legendary control finally unravels and how long before Bilbo realizes that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes?

7. The Difference Between:

For my Hobbit Slash Love-Fest on Tumblr. Bilbo is insecure about his appearance/weight and Thorin reassures him.

8. A Halo On Your Body:

After a humid day’s ride, the Company are keen to bathe and Bilbo finds himself in the company of many naked dwarves, none of whom are shy.

Perhaps the burglar in him is coming through, because Bilbo finds himself very interested in the shiny things they’ve adorned their bodies with.

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one day you will be king and you will understand