hoax 9

  • how I used to be: omg i cant believe anyone would think the government would lie to us.
  • me now: the moon landing was faked, the moon is a damn hologram, elvis didnt die, 9/11 was completely an inside job, our whole history is a lie, the government is out to get us and could kill me any minute now and make it so nobody knows of my existence.
call for submissions! hoax #9: feminisms & VULNERABILITIES

we are immensely excited to announce that the topic for hoax #9 will be feminisms and VULNERABILITIES, and we are eager for feminists of all backgrounds and genders to submit! potential ideas for material include, but are not limited to:

· history / culture: utilizing the past to figure out how to cope with the present & the future; the importance of preservation of traditions & shared traits; storytelling and the transmission of intergenerational knowledges

· language: the terminologies we use & how they impact us; choosing how to express one’s sensitivities & vocalize need; calculating personal disclosure & censorship in confessional writing; linguistic changes between close friends & family versus strangers; academia’s insistence on rigid and insular terminology

· relationships: navigating toxic relationships; mutual aid in progressive circles; choosing to change oneself purposefully in order to find acceptance; how does (& doesn’t) feminism accommodate people who hold different identities & come from different backgrounds; coping with unhealthy family & home environments ; monogamy, polyamory, and vulnerability; coping with romantic and platonic breakups

· change / resistance: coping with loss, death, and / or trauma in everyday life; how choices made in the present affect us in the future; marginalized folks feelings pressured to fight or reflect certain stereotypes; the intricacies of protecting self from triggers; daily risks we take & how to tell which are necessary and why

· consent: boundary setting; times when we remain quiet to preserve our well-being / choosing when to speak; representations of (healthy) queer and non-normative sex; the role of celibacy; gaining validation via others’ sexual interest; how do we give consent when we have limited or no choices?; the limitations of sex positive consent rhetoric within  racist / sexist / transphobic etc culture

· systems / legislation: balancing legislative reform with community-supported efforts; access to life-sustaining resources; educational access / issues with different forms of state-sponsored education; labor issues / how time is compartmentalized by work / being sick on the job / etc.; the impact of class & racial privilege on medical access; the nonprofit industrial complex & the institutionalization of care work

· space: how vulnerability changes in public versus private settings; creation, upkeep, and utilization of safe® spaces / methods for feeling safe in an unsafe world; urban solitude / engaging with strangers; sustaining intersectionality in queer– or feminist-labeled spaces; surveillance / lack of privacy on the internet / offline vs. online communities; how embodiments change meaning in different places / where oppression is more or less likely to occur; showcasing multiple identities in various settings; the links between visibility & vulnerability

· the body / the self: having a body that is visibly marked as “other”; intentional or unintentional politics of bodily presentations; how feminism & other political stances affect our personal growth; personal exposure & secrecy; do we have an “authentic self” that is impermeable to change?; projecting an image of toughness/non-approach while feeling weak/scared/etc.; how bodily representations in media affect the vulnerability of marginalized groups in real life

· dis/ability: the intersection of race, gender, class and disability; illnesses & how they impact one’s daily life depending on how visible they are to others; caring for disabled loved ones

· inspirational tales: overcoming hardships; the reinvention of personal narratives; the animals & people who have helped us thru the dark times; unsent letters to loved ones; advice for readers

we also totally need lots of artwork (photos, collages, illustrations, drawings, paintings, comics, etc.), particularly for background designs and things that compliment the written material!

please aim to send us yr amazing material to hoaxzine (at) gmail (dot) com by JUNE 30th, 2013. if you are interested, feel free to e-mail us yr ideas for topics & artwork! as always, we are willing to work with you during any and every stage of the writing process. the sooner you send us yr work, the better!

thank you so much to every contributor, reader, & supporter of this zine! we are looking forward to seeing yr work!

in solidarity,

sari & rachel


Super Bowl - Guy Grabs Microphone And Says INVESTIGATE 9/11

If Bleach characters tried to beat Guinness World Records...without using their super powers

As requested by anon. :)

Bleach characters are powerful, fast, and have a variety of special abilities. But that’s all thanks to them being super human. What if they tried to beat Guinness World Records *without* using any super powers? How would that go for them?

[Note: I am super not looking these up. I just assume a record probably exists for all of these categories!]

1. Liltotto attempts to set the record for…Eating The Most Hotdogs

Liltotto: Having to eat one mouthful at a time is AGONY!

Liltotto: Are you SURE detaching my jaw would be cheating??

2. Aaroniero attempts to set the record for…Eating The Most Hotdogs

Aaroniero: [poking the hotdogs sadly against his head tank]

Aaroniero: I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea.

3. Sasakibe attempts to set the record for…Getting Struck By Lightning The Most Times

Sasakibe: …

Sasakibe: So apparently I don’t just naturally control the lightning?

Sasakibe: That’s disappointing.

4. Gerard Valkyrie attempts to set the record for…Getting Struck By Lightning The Most Times 


5. Unohana attempts to set the record for…Oldest Woman Alive

Unohana: Birth certificate? What’s that?

6. Rukia attempts to set the record for…Longest Time Voluntarily Spent In A Closet


Rukia: You never support my dreams.

7. Kurotsuchi attempts to set the record for…Least Percentage Of Organic Body Tissue In A Living Human

Kurotsuchi: What do you mean that’s not a category?

Kurotsuchi: And there’s no category for most Quincy tortured to death either?

Kurotsuchi: What are these Guinness people playing at??

8. Yoruichi attempts to set the record for…Most Talkative Cat

Yoruichi: A hoax? How could they think my video was a hoax??

9. Komamura attempts to set the record for…Tallest Dog

Iba: Captain! Captain! The Guinness people finally got back to us and now they’re sending someone over!

Iba: And if this had happened BEFORE you turned into a real dog, that would be great.

Iba: Sorry, Captain.

10. Hitsugaya attempts to set the record for…Shortest Adult

Hitsugaya: Turns out there are adults shorter than me.

Hitsugaya: I-I’m so happy!!

11. Matsumoto attempts to set the record for…Longest Nap

Hitsugaya: I don’t believe that’s an actual record.

Matsumoto: Shhhh, I’m working towards a goal!

12. Byakuya attempts to set the record for…Fastest 500 Yard Dash

Byakuya: To be honest, I thought I was still fast, even without flash step.

Byakuya: I am filled with shame.

Byakuya: If only I had not tripped on my own scarf, I may have saved some dignity.

Renji: I-it’s okay, captain!

13. Squad 11 attempts to set the record for…Most Hollows Killed In An Hour

Yumichika: Uh, guys? Bad news.

Yumichika: Turns out that’s not a category.

Ikkaku: What??? Why????

14. Shinji attempts to set the record for…Longest Headstand 

Shinji: T-this is so much harder when you’re not floating in the sky…

Shinji: Blood…rushing to head…..

Shinji: Growing….faint….

Shinji: [whump]

15. Yamamoto attempts to set the record for…Longest Eyebrows

Yamamoto: Yeah.

Yamamoto: I have this one in the bag.