Last night I had the privilege of seeing Darren take on “Hedwig” and he was phenomenal. I was really blown away by his performance.
About a week ago, I made this post, but by the time the opening chords of Origin of Love were playing, all my concerns vanished. He played her so brilliantly.
She was…bitter. She was angry. She was tired. She was tired of being angry. Every joke had a caustic edge to it. Every time she got angry or distressed, she fell. Literally. She was exhausted. During Exquisite Corpse, she practically stumbled around the stage, shouting the lyrics and collapsing onto the floor.
NPH’s performance was spectacular, and Michael C. Hall’s was a lot of fun, but Darren’s portrayal spoke to me on a deeply personal level. Later, at the stage door, I thanked him for how he played her and told him he was amazing and he said Thank you, I’m so glad you enjoyed it, but I don’t think he, or really anyone, could grasp how much this performance meant to me.
When I first came to terms with my sexuality in ninth grade, I didn’t tell anyone. I indirectly told my best friend and then shut up about it until the beginning of this school year (I’m a senior now). I came out to my dad first, then my best friends, then my GSA. And I hated it. It was awful. Coming out, for me, was an incredibly uncomfortable experience and I hated my sexuality and resented it and I haven’t come out to anyone since September. And I was PISSED. I was really angry at society and myself and the powers that be that I was who I was, that I even had to come out in the first place, that I had to explain to my dad what pansexual meant, that I have to explain myself, that I had to be scared of being rejected by the people I love just because I feel things a little differently than they do. I was ANGRY. I still am. But recently, I’ve realized there’s no point. It’s not accomplishing anything. But I still am, nevertheless. Being angry at something that won’t change is exhausting. I am tired. I’m so sick and tired of being mad.
And Darren’s performance last night really HIT me. I loved the show with all of my heart for various reasons beforehand, but last night was the first time I really, truly felt a personal connection with the show as a whole. And I can’t thank him enough.
Thank you, Darren. Thank you, Rebecca and Lena and JCM and Stephen Trask.
Thank you, Hedwig.