The Joker X Reader “Best Friends”
Mister J doesn’t understand the concept of having a guy-best-friend. He always gives you and Frost such a hard time. Dammit, this man needs to learn when to back out!Who are you kidding? He’s a lost cause…
Best friends saga: http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/156162705436/the-joker-x-reader-the-wedding
**** You were horsing around the penthouse with Frost, fighting with the Joker’s canes. You had his favorite purple one and Jonny the black one. You were trying to kick Frost, he ducked and you hit the wall so hard the cane snapped in two.
“Oh, crap!” you gasp, assessing the damage in disbelief.
“That’s not good,” Jonny sighs. “Want me to take the blame?”
“No, no way, it’s my fault.”
He took the blame. Mister J is pissed to the maximum.
“I’m so sorry, boss; I tripped and felt right on top of it.”
“Lose some weight, God dammit, you know that’s my favorite cane. Now I have to wait until my new one arrives. How am I supposed to look like a pimp without it?” J snarls at him, but he knows something is up.
“You don’t need the cane, baby” you smile, keeping your cool. “You always look like the hottest pimp around.”
“For reals? Hmmm… if you say so…” the Joker buys your flattery and you think Frosty is safe. NOT!!!
At the club, Frost was getting ready to go downstairs and J tripped him. Man, that was a pretty nasty tumble! You let out a small scream and rush after him.
“Oh my God, Jonny, are you ok?” you try to help him up, worried to death. “J, did you push him?”
“Wha’????? Why would I do that?! I’m not that low,” the Joker defends himself but you have your concerns.
“Frost, did he push you?” you ask, annoyed.
“No, no, of course not,” he lies, knowing it’s better not to start any shit.
“See? I told you, he’s just clumsy, he falls down and…breaks things.” The evil glare in J’s eye makes you squint your eyes, suspicious.
**** Since J is not going to be home anytime soon, you get together with Frost for drinks, karaoke and movies. After you’re both very drunk, you really sound like goats jumping from a cliff, but you think you’re the best singers. You decide to watch something sad, you don’t really know what, but sure as hell you are both on the couch now, sobbing, heartbroken. Your head is resting on Frost’s shoulder and you sniffle, blowing your nose in your tissue again.
The Joker walks in and sees you both and he doesn’t like the fact that you are sitting so close to each other.
“What are you guys doing now?” he mutters, marching in front of the couch.
“This is so sad, Jaaayy,” you cry and Frost reaches his hand to wipe your eyes with his tissue.
“Don’t touch my girl!” the Joker grumbles and he punches Frost unconscious.
“Omg, Jaaaayy, you killed my best friend!” You start wailing, clenching to Frost’s chest.
“He’s not dead, let go!” J tries to take you away. You don’t bulge.
“Jonnnnyyyyy, I’m gonna take care of your kids,” you whimper even louder.
“He doesn’t have any kids, let him go I said! Jeez, how much did you drink, Princess?!”
“Jonnnnnyyy, I’m gonna take care of your wifeeee,” you’re bawling your eyes out.
“He doesn’t have a wife!”
“I don’t care, I’m gonna take care of all of them anywayyy.” You are so upset you won’t move.
“Fine, I’ll prove you he’s all right!” J walks over to the kitchen, irritated, grabs a bowl of water with ice and comes back just to throw it Frost’s face to wake him up. Frost opens his eyes, kind of jumping from the shock of the cold feeling. You kiss his cheek, then cuddle on his chest.
“Frosty, you’re alive!”
“I said don’t touch my girl!” the Joker snaps, punching his lights out again.
Frost had to walk around with two black eyes for three weeks.
**** Mister J will get revenge for that night. Frost has a date tonight and you are helping him with his tie.
J is glaring at you too, tapping his fingers on the glass coffee table.
“Can’t you dress yourself, Frost?” he asks, grinning, impatient it’s taking so long.
“Almost done, sir.”
“There” you back out a bit, satisfied. “I hope you never leave us, I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
You hear your boyfriend snarl and you continue:
“…and without J we would be completely lost,” you quickly add, winking at Jonny.
Before Frost leaves, J is trying to give him tips on how to behave on a date and some pickup lines. You roll your eyes, scoffing and when J leaves the room to answer an important call, you whisper to Frost:
“Don’t listen to him, he’s clueless to this kind of stuff. I’m with him for his looks, not for the wisdom he blesses us with every day.” Jonny snickers, amused.
“What are you guys talking about?” J inquires, coming back in the room holding a glass half full with whiskey.
“His girlfriend, she’s adorable,” you innocently smile. “A sweetheart, I’m telling you.”
“Hmm, oh well, old man, here’s some liquid courage for tonight.” The Joker gives the glass to Jonny and he drinks it all. He put sleeping pills in the whiskey. Needless to say Frosty didn’t make it to his date and you didn’t talk to J for days.
**** “Jonny, remember when we were kids and used to play hide and seek? Gosh, I miss those days. Hey, let’s play!” you clap your hands in anticipation.
“We’re grown ass people, Y/N,” he furrows is eyebrows, not in the mood.
“ So?! Stop being so serious. Come on, it will be fun, pleaseeee?” you beg, pulling his arm.
“Ok, but just one round, you hide and I’ll try to find you.”
“Yes!!! Awesome!” you jump up and down, excited. It’s late at night and J is not home yet so you gotta kill the boredom somehow. “Ok, turn the lights out, give me 1 minute and then come look for me,” you giggle, already knowing you will hide behind the curtain. You stay quiet, hearing noises around the penthouse. You feel like a child again, you missed the thrill of this silly game.
Suddenly, you feel hands grabbing your butt as you are turned around and you feel your lips being kissed. You panic:
“Jonny, what the hell???!!!” you yell and throw your fist in his face as hard as you can.
“Huhhh?”you hear Frost from across the room as he turns on the lights.
are you crazy?!”
Oh, crap, it’s The Joker. With a bloody nose. Looking unhappy. Very unhappy.
“Baby, I’m so sorry,” you cover your mouth, scared. “I didn’t know it’s you. Why did you sneak in like that? I’ll bring you some ice, hold on.”
“God, you have a mean punch, Pumpkin!” he snorts on his blood, holding the bridge of his nose, angry at you.
“Occupational hazard, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to,” you keep on apologizing, feeling really bad about it. You didn’t have time to notice Frost widely smiling at his boss’s misfortune. Karma is a bitch.
**** You are out Christmas shopping with Frost for J . You have no idea he’s following you two. He keeps on creeping out from behind corners, with a hoodie on and jeans, totally incognito, watching you two like a hawk.
“Why is she holding his arm? Why are they laughing? Why is he touching my girl again?” J keeps on thinking, irritated. He sees some kids playing in the snow.
“Hey, you there,” he gets their attention, “wanna make a hundred dollars?”
* You suddenly get bombarded with a million snow balls, there are a bunch of children screaming and yelling, hitting you two from all sides, then they run.
“Wow, what was that?” you say, cleaning yourself up. And you hear it just for a split second, but you sure know that laugh.
“It’s that idiot!” you mutter through your clenched teeth, aggravated.
“Who, Mister J ?”
“That’s what I said, Frosty, pay attention,” you inhale, dragging him inside the little restaurant on your left. ”Come on, let’s get on the terrace! Hurry up!”
There is nobody on top with the cold weather and snow, of course. You duck behind the wall, watching the street.
“There he is!” you point at the Joker approaching the building, recognizing him.
“When he gets right under, we push all this snow on him, ok?” you elbow Frost, making sure he’s going to follow the plan.
“Are you insane? He’s going to kill us.”
“Bullshit, he won’t know it was us. I won’t tell if you don’t,” you bite your lips, waiting for an answer.
“Ok, let’s do it!” Jonny softly chuckles, grateful he can get a bit more payback to his boss for all the crap he has to endure.
“Wait for my signal,” you peak again and…”Now, now!!!’ you both push the huge chunks of frozen snow and you hear a loud thud then J cussing and having a temper tantrum. You both laugh like crazy, covering your mouths and you slowly get up and run, taking the stares to the south side of the restaurant.
**** You are in front of the fireplace, listening to a song with Jonny on your mp4. He has one earbud and you have the other.
“Wow, awesome song, Y/N,” Frost nods his head as a thank you for sharing.
Oh, hell no! The Joker thinks when he sees you two. He walks behind you and smashes your heads together as hard as he can.
“Auucch, wtf, baby?! It really hurts!” you whimper, rubbing the painful spot.
my hands slipped,” J grins, closing his eyes to take in the moment, feeling like he accomplished
something good for the day. Jonny doesn’t
say anything; he is trying to be as stoic as ever. He just cautiously gets up
*You and Frost got nasty matching red bumps and J is very pleased to call you:
“My little horn-y devils.”
**** You and Frost are waiting outside for the Joker so you can go to the club.
“Gosh, it’s so cold,” you shiver under your thin coat.
“Here, Y/N,” Frost offers you his coat, placing it around your shoulders.
“Thank you, you’re so sweet… Hey, J, what are you doing?”
Mister J yanks Frost’s coat and throws it on a muddy puddle that didn’t freeze yet.
“Baby, what are you doing?!”
need his coat, I’ll give you mine, “ J pouts, puckering his lips while placing
his purple coat around you.
That was so uncalled for; he really needs to knock this shit out.
The car is parked half a block away so you bend your knees more to make sure the bottom of his precious croc coat gets dragged in all the puddles and slit you can walk in.
He has a fit when you give it back to him but you candidly point out he gave it to you and it’s not your fault you’re shorter than him.
**** “How in the world did my Lamborghini got a flat tire? Are you kidding me right now?” J gasps, kicking the sidewalk exasperated. ”Get someone to fix it!” he shrieks at Frost.
Yeah, I wonder how it happened…
Frost gives you an inquiring glance and you wink at him, letting him know you got his back.
What are best friends good for anyway?
Also read- MASTERLIST: