PLEASE talk about the kind of shit Bitty and Tater would get up to without Jack or someone more level-headed there to restrain them.
lisTEN Tater and Bitty have like, not a single impulse control between the two. Oftentimes people get fooled by Bitty’s politeness, need for a clean kitchen, and preference for people not to spit on the ground (LOOKING AT YOU, NURSEY, YOU GROSS COLLEGE BOY) and think, this is a reasonable and level headed young man! they are wrong.
Tater: B! What if I get huge soda bottles, big ones, and shake them.
Bitty: D: that makes it go flat though, do you not like the fizz?
Tater: *shakes his head* No, no. I strap them onto me and shake them and then BOOM! I fly.
Bitty: Hmm, I don’t think so…
Bitty: You’re too gosh darn heavy! Strap it on me!
Tater: B! B! Guess what!
Bitty: I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?
Tater: *shows a picture* new motorcycle! I see it, I like it, now it’s mine!
Bitty: *fans himself really hard because he LOVES those bikes* oh dear
Tater: You one of my best friend. First person I ask to ride with me.
Bitty: Mister Tater! I am delighted and honored!
And then they proceed to ride the motorcycle WITHOUT A HELMET until they get pulled over by a cop, and tater’s telling the story to the team later and jack hyperventilates because HIS BOYFRIEND WAS ON A MOTORCYCLE WITHOUT A HELMET.
One day jack walks into the kitchen to find Tater with tears streaming down his very red face as Bitty feeds him pieces of what looks like mini pie and asking “how about this? is this spicy enough?”
“I’m feel dying and my soul return to heaven. Not enough. Do more.”
Tater: What I’m be for Halloween? Has to be sexy.
Bitty: Haha what about a stripper
They look at each other and an electrical moment passes between them
Tater: I’m go shave my legs now!!!
Bitty: Yes you do that and I’m going online right NOW to find the perfect costume!!!
Tater: WHY THIS RAZOR SO SHARP??
Bitty: here let me shave you!
And then when Tater’s practicing his routine, he routinely asks Bitty whether it’s sexy enough. He’s not doing it very close to Bitty (bc Bitty’s personal space expands when there’s stripping involved by ppl other than jack)
Tater: Weird to ask Jack, you know. He my teammate.
Bitty: I completely understand, and oh dear this is making me blush! *giggles*
Tater: *performs another body roll*
That one time Bitty went to the hospital because Tater thought it would be a funny prank to empty out a windex bottle and pour blue gatorade in it so Bitty can shock everyone, but someone accidentally switched the bottle so Bitty drank a mouthful of actual windex.
I feel like Tater’s like the one person who finally convinced Bitty to try weed? Like in the sense that Tater’s never tried it because the fear of his parents is strong, and Bitty’s only had contact high before and never bothered with actually trying it himself. And Tater is curious bc it seems like a lot of the college athletes are high and he wants to try! And Bitty because oh well, if you want to try it I’ll do it too!
They chose a time during the off season, so that Tater won’t get in trouble. And Bitty makes the most delicious weed brownies in existence. And then Tater promptly forgets that they’re weed brownies and eat wayyyy too much and Bitty’s too high to deal with him and Jack comes home to two grown men giggling over his couch. (Tater’s okay, bitty made sure not to bake too much.)
That one time Tater wrenched his shoulder dabbing with Bitty on the ice.
When Bitty was super drunk and Tater handed him a banana and Bitty deepthroated it in front of everyone and then promptly choked and almost died.
That time they were lighting fireworks with their bare hands and didn’t get injured at ALL.
Georgia had to give a little talk to Jack about how tater and bitty should never be left alone, and maybe Jack can thirdwheel some of their hangouts a little bit more?
Jack: I’m the one dating Bitty, you know.
Georgia: He’s an amazing person, but I also need his friendship with Tater to change into something less life threatening.