Guuuys these are just my theories about what’s going on in this scene, taken from the Suicide Squad Movie Novelization! Shortly before Deadshot asks Harley “When’s the last time someone was nice to you?”, they were having a conversation and she says “you like me, you really like me”. Also she looks upset so it could have been when he asks her why she acts like an idiot. Sorry I just freaked when I seen this and had to put this out there
In spring 2014 I was nearing the end of quite a few tethers. On 5/1/2014 I sent out a dozen or so job applications. If none of them responded, it’s possible and even likely my career (or even life) would’ve ended shortly thereafter.
Thankfully, two places emailed back.
The first was a news app called Inside that, sadly, no longer exists. They hired me and offered me decent money as a freelancer. That job, plus my two other freelance gigs, allowed me to quit my ‘real’ job that had slashed my hours to almost nothing by that point.
The second was Salon.
I started interning at Salon in early summer 2014. There were three other interns at the time. By August 1st, all the others had left.
I won’t lie. Interning at Salon was at times difficult (even though I loved it and it quite literally made my career), mostly because it didn’t pay. I don’t come from the type of family that can pay for me to live in a posh NYC apartment while working for no money all day. In fact, the only reason I was able to accept the internship there was because my income stream was all freelance work that could be done around my Salon work schedule and that my parent’s house was close enough to NYC that commuting via the LIRR was possible.
Since I was the only intern in August, things got rather hectic. I transcribed interviews all day, worked my shift at Inside until midnight, and then worked all-day Saturday and Sunday at a mixed martial arts website. In between all this I tried to freelance for places like The Daily Dot while also occasionally trying to write stuff for Salon (for free) as well as running Salon’s Tumblr (because I just really loved doing it).
It was quite stressful. And I hadn’t gone into 2014 with the healthiest of mental states. 2013 was…a bad year heh. The first part of 2014 wasn’t so great either.
I remember being so stressed out at the end of each day in August. Sometimes I ran around the block a few times after my shift at Inside ended just to decompress. I’d come in and watch a few minutes from ‘Clue’ – one of my favorite movies – afterwards.
Then I started playing a game called Borderlands 2. I’d play it for about 20 minutes or so a night after my shift ended. I really enjoyed it. In fact, I enjoyed it so much I can never actually play it again because I know it won’t be half as good as I remember it. You know how anything tastes great when you’re starving? It’s sort of the same thing here. My brain needed literally anything with the slightest ability to distract and entertain.
My shifts at Inside were Monday-Thursday. I worked at the MMA site Saturday and Sunday. I worked for Salon Monday-Friday, but since I was the only intern I had enough sway to work from home 4/5 days without them saying anything (because if they raised an issue I could’ve just left and they’d have been in a bit of trouble heh). The only day I came in was Friday. And I’ll remember those August Fridays until the day I die.
I remember the 10:27 train into Penn. I spent the train rides listening to Nightwish while daydreaming about an urban fantasy story I’d thought of in a dream. I took notes on it during the train ride. I even wrote a few draft chapters as practice, before deciding I needed to write a story that was even more important to me first (the ‘novel’ I’m procrastinating working on now).
I remember the short walk to the office. The office when I started my internship was on 36th street. August 1st was the first day in Salon’s new office – a newer, brighter one with better air conditioning. The security guy at the desk used to call me “sir.” Each time I wanted to say “I’m an unpaid intern. Not a sir.”
I remember one Friday the office manager bought me Chipotle because I did a bunch of packing for the move to the new office. On my last day I gave her a Chipotle gift card to return the favor. She works in real-estate now.
I remember the book closet. One of my tasks was to go through all the review copies of books we received. I had to organize them by release date so the editors could easily find them if they wanted to post an excerpt. The Salon book closet was one of my favorite places in the world. Alone, I’d hum Nightwish’s Dead to the World while thinking about stories I wanted to write, whether I’d even get to write stories, whether I’d even have a career. I’d feel doubt and hope at the same time. Dread and levity. Anguish and bliss.
I remember the train ride home. I’d stop at Smashburger afterwards and get a chili dog, sweet potato fries, and a large coke. That was enough calories for an entire week, but I still got ice cream a few hours later. I got what Carvel called a “Sundae Dasher” – basically a McFlurry but with better ice cream and better toppings. I’d get the Reese’s one: Reese’s peanut butter cups, peanut butter, vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, and white cream in a cup. After eating that I’d play Borderlands 2 until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. A decadent ritual to be sure. But Friday nights in August 2014 were a reward for avoiding a nervous breakdown for another week, and perhaps even a reward for staying alive when just months before I so desperately didn’t want to.
About an hour ago I bought a Reese’s Sundae Dasher to pay tribute to those Fridays from so long ago (it was only two years but it feels like 200,000). I have a lot of reflecting to do heh.