hm ok what is this


“don’t let go of my hand forever, i won’t let go of you again either

Every time
  • Me: so do you have any medical conditions?
  • Elderly lady: hm no
  • Patient's son: nope
  • Me: ok, do you take any medication?
  • Elderly lady: oh yes i take something for high blood pressure and for arrythmia and for my pancreas and for...
  • Me: DO have some medical conditions
  • The son: well she had then for some time now
  • Me: thats so not the point of this conversation....but ok. So anything else? Any previous hospitalisations any operations?
  • Both of them: hm no
  • Me: ok. *starts doing physical examination* and what is that big scar you have on your stomach?
  • Patient: ah thats probably from that surgery when they took the cancer out
  • Me: *looks into the void and the void looks into me*

Minsung u ok back there

when ur friends aren’t in class so u have to spend the whole time fighting snape apologists alone

  • Doctor : I don't think you're depressed. It's probably a burn-out, you're trying to do too much. I'll give you a homeopathic treatment to make you feel better, ok?
  • INTP : hm ok.
  • INTP : *back home, checking what the treatment actually is* All of them. They are all against depression. Are you kidding me. What did you expect? That I wouldn't try to understrand what you're giving me. What the hell. What should I belive? What is this ? Why? What am I? What should I do? Why did you do that? Are you lying? I don't know anymore.
BTS reactions: To you having made out only with girls before them.

Originally posted by bulletproof-heaven

This is serious? Why you didn’t tell me before?J-Hope would ask you, surprised.

Originally posted by theseoks

Oh, I already knew darling. But the moment you kissed my lips, you fell for me.Jin would play with you.

Originally posted by itschiminie

HAHAHA quit playing me, Y/NJimin wouldn’t believe you.

Originally posted by cyyphr

So… you mean… you and another girl… hm… kissed?V wouldn’t know what to say.

Originally posted by jeonbase

Hmmm… ok then.Suga would say before coming back to his normal tasks.

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Well, technically I was only kissed by my mom and Jin hyung - on the cheek of course - before you. So, yeah, you’re way better than me.Rap Monster would make you laugh.

Originally posted by ken-z-the-aesthetic-queen

You can almost hear Jungkook’s brain working, forming the word “DAEBAK!” on his mind.

ok but pepper was like “hm what should I do with this thing tony made in a cave to stop missile shrapnel from killing him. this thing that was in his chest. i know!!! let’s put it in a little display case with a cute plaque and give it to tony as a gift. perfect”

and tony was like “hm what should i do with this missile shrapnel that was killing me. this stuff that was surgically removed from my chest. i know!!! let’s make it into a little necklace with a cute heart pendant and give it to pep as a gift. perfect”

 these two morons are exactly each other’s brand of morbid weirdness and i Love It

Use The Spare Bedroom

Summary: Phil starts bringing boys home. Dan starts tweeting song lyrics. 

Word Count: 3436

A/N: List of songs referenced at the end. 

It started one Friday night. Dan was sprawled out on the couch. Laptop up and open to tumblr. He was settled for the night.

Then Phil came out of his room. He was in black jeans and a button up shirt.

‘I’m going out with some friends from uni.’ He announced.

'Oh.’ Dan took a few moments to process the information. 'Since when?’

'About forty-five minutes ago. I got a message and I thought why not?’

'Why not.’ Dan echoed.

'So… I’m not sure how late we’ll be out. Don’t wait up for me.’


Dan didn’t normally get to bed until about 2am on a normal night. He sort of thought he would see Phil come in before he headed off to retire for the night. But at 1.30am when he was heading off there was still no sign of Phil whatsoever.

He was woken up at 3am to the sound of a door slamming.

'Sshh.’ Followed by a giggle. 'My roommate is asleep.’

Keep reading

hacker!jihoon au

-uni student by day hacker by night

-and like listen

-he didnt start hacking bc he had bad intentions

-he just does bad things when he’s bored

-im not saying jihoon goes on the deep web but im saying he goes on the deep web :))))))))))))))

-he’s fucking infamous there

-nobody fucks with him

-he’s only known as woozi and nobody knows his real name

-he’s tiny and T E R R I F Y I N G

-do you know how many times he’s hacked into big corporations and leaked information just because someone would pay him for it

-y’all dont fuck with jihoon

-he sounds like an awful person but pLS LET ME EXPLAIN

-turns into the mr krabs meme any time someone mentions anonymous or hacking in general

-he mostly just hacks for the money honestly

-he doesnt even spend any of that money on himself

-he just spoils the fuck out of his friends and pays for his uni stuff

-he is such a sweet precious baby in real life but he’s so cold hearted online what a loser i love him

-the reason he joined the team was bc of seungcheol

-seungcheol went to uni with him and they were close friends!! seungcheol knew everything about him except that jihoon was a hacker


-how else does he manage this team of actual children smh

-so tl;dr he manages to convince jihoon to join the gang and now hacking for the gang is his full time job :’)))))))))

-he doesnt go with the boys on missions but he stays back and watches them from security cameras and talks to them through mics

-probably does homework while doing so tbh

-”ok jihoon what do i do next?”

-”hm? wait i don’t know what’s happening my glasses are fogging up”




-before he even joined, the entire team knew about him and not just from seungcheol

-tbh they were all terrified of him at first bUT THEY REALIZED HOW SMOL AND FLUFFY HE WAS AND HE BECAME THE GROUP’S NEW BABY

-cringes xtra hard when he sees the boys doing something in a way he wouldnt personally do

-like, he understands there are different ways of doing things but being a hacker and doing things the same way over and over again, using the same techniques to solve everything stuck with him and it makes him feel icky and anxious when he sees the boys do something that he wouldnt

-cares about his dumb spy children so much ;-;-;

-hansol is such a terrified lil baby and jihoon has to always comfort him

-”jihoon im gonna have a panic attack”

-”no youre not, it’s ok”

-”you cant even see my face how do you know iT’S OK”

-”i can see your face in the corner of the camera and wow u look ugly”


-hansol proceeds to run off and steps on a trap

-jihoon cringes and slams his head on the table

-save him from these idiots

-honestly he’s the true mastermind

-seungcheol is like half a mastermind and the other half is an edgelord™️

-cue jihoon’s eyeroll

-”hoshi if you touch my hair one more time im gonna send a swat team to your house”

-”are u still salty i didnt let u sit on my lap :((((((((“

-”i diDnT WaNNa sIT oN uR LaP”

-one time hoshi broke his arm so he wasnt allowed on missions so during the entire time he was forced to stay home, he’d go over to jihoon’s and he’d make jihoon sit on his lap while he hacked

-”woah numbers”

-”woah hoshi shut up and let me hack”

-”ur feisty ;))))”

-”im going to abandon this team, move to alaska and change my name to whore-rito do you want that”

-”i luv me some whore-rito”

-the member that’s most likely to be kidnapped

-so tiny and smol cant fight for his life

-reason #232847 of why he has bodyguards!meanie

-talks shit isnt ready to get hit

-falls asleep hunched over his desk all the time because he works to the point where he passes out :)))))

-seungcheol forces him to take breaks and if he doesnt convince him, jeonghan has to come in to pull a mom

-”honey, youre working yourself too hard, you should-”


-ok now it’s the point of the au where i talk about where youre dating jihoon if that doesnt float your boat you can skiP IT

-you two met when he joined the team

-”hey jihoon meet y/n, they’re apart of the team now.”

-jihoon fell for you so hard what a dweEB

-youre in charge of most of the missions and jihoon worries over you a lot

-”hey jihoon maybe you shouldnt fuck around with the deep web anymore-”

-”maybe you shouldnt fuck around with your life anymore on those missions but you dont see me saying anything”

-he’s sososososo subtly caring towards you and it warms your lil heart aw

-he’s not much of a violent person but he’ll do anything to protect you dbsfvjdsfbdnfs

-being a hacker taught him something about keeping those who were close to you and throwing everyone else away

-and fuck you are so important to him

-god he would throw his life away for you in a heartbeat it’s so scary but you feel the same way and sdfildfjdf

-can you imagine if this lil bean gets kidnapped because someone didnt like what you were doing



-”jihoon when’d you learn how to fight”

-”*cue jihoon’s internal screaming bc he only fought so hard for you*”

-whenever you get hurt he wont let you leave his room until he makes sure youre ok again

-”jihoon i literally just got a bruise on my leg i-”

-”stOoOoooOP rEsIStINg yOurE ON ThE VerGe oF DeAtH”

-you like watching him hack but you dont get to often since youre off on missions all the time

-but on the rare times when you dont need to go, you like hanging back with jihoon and watching him do his thing

-he always looks so concentrated and determined and his soft features turn so tensed

-he clenches his jaw and it’s a bad habit but you find it so cute and dsfkbshdkfd

-the way he sounds so stern when talking to the boys just goSH IM MELTING

-i mean

-youre melting


-hardwork with the occasional “babe can you get me some ramen”

-”jihoon if you dont fuckin help the boys istg”

-”i aM”


-jihoon’s the type to eat cereal while watching the boys suffer

Hello everyone. I am going on vacation for all this week. Unfortunately, I won’t have any Wi-Fi during that time. This means that I will not be able to post or talk to you guys on here (on anywhere else for that matter) for a week. I will be able to post again on the 2nd or 3rd of April. Until then, I will leave you all with this little drawing I did of our favorite plant dad. I hope you all enjoy it. I’ll be excited to see you guys again once I’m off vacation.

On a side note, I wanted to say how proud I am of Stefán. Now that he’s done with chemotherapy, I feel so relieved. I hope he continues to live a long and happy life, and I will never forget the impact he has had on my child and teen years.

Bye for now :)


Can We Keep It?

Day Five: April 21st: Firsts / Future / Tears for @kiribakuweek2k17

Ao3 Link:

Summary: Kirishima and Bakugou are living together as pro heroes. Kirishima brings home a dog one day and convinces Bakugou to let them keep it until they can find her a home. 

Keep reading

things I need to do today: take an oral test for Japanese, interview for a job at the library

things I am ready to do: not any of that

anonymous asked:

there is a little frozen parody where nuxy questions runafrena for her engagement with noku, just like kuristo with ani and her engagement with hanso. because is just the same situation amirite? (sarcasm)

ugh -_- antis are really reaching

how that would actually go
“What’s his last name?”

“L//cis Ca//lum, of course.”

“What’s his favorite food?”

“He loves most anything fried, a lot of hand foods, like hamburgers, and, well, really the more calories and fat and grease, the more likely he is to enjoy it…” *sigh* “I wish he would eat his vegetables more. I had hoped he would grow out of that…”

“…Hm. Ok, what’s his best friend’s name?”

“Prom//to Argen//um is his best friend that he was able to really meet and make for himself. Ign//s Sci//ntia and Gla//iolus Amic//tia are long time friends of his. And,” *smile* “he has referred to me as his best friend as well. So perhaps it’s myself that I should have named.”

*quickly losing traction* “Uhm… Eye color?”

“Oh, he has such expressive blue eyes!”

“Foot size!!”

“A magazine article published 11, but they hadn’t actually spoken with him about it. They simply sneaked a peek at one of his dress shoes, forgetting that they run larger…! His standard shoe size is actually a 12.”

“What if you hate the way he picks his nose?”

*fuck-you-say-bitch? face* “…Picks his nose?”

*smug ‘gotcha now’* “And eats it.”

“…Well, should that be a thing, he and I may speak on it, but that’s hardly the sort of thing that would have me falling out of love with him. It isn’t as if I only just met him. He and I have known each other for twelve long years, and we have remained in constant contact with one another. I know his fears and his flaws and his insecurities, and he knows mine. Even if there remain secrets between us, they are hardly the sort of thing which could break us apart when our friendship and affections have endured so much.”

“Oh, shit, twelve years of constant contact? Why didn’t you say so first? Makes sense. Enjoy your life together.”

“Thank you.”