hitting tires

You know, people who go on road trips experience all kinds of wonderful things. Then there’s me who, part of the blame goes to my friend for this, tries to navigate a waaaaay too narrow road and manages to squeeze the car between a wall and a lamp post. Looked like a decent enough dent, BUT it was so bad that it actually sliced the tire.

(Let’s not forget that my cell phone, who already had a cracked display, fell down again and is even worse now. Would anyone buy a book I write? Cause I think I need some money)

So, FUN TIMES I now know how absolutely wonderful Scottish car shops (garage?) are. Thank you, Scotland.

Like I said, you experience all kinds of things when on a road trip.

magic touch bond au
  • i keep thinking of a magical au where jack and bitty wake up
  • like after a party or something and they’re both in excruciating pain
  • and so all the guys are freaking out and they sort of piece together that jack and bitty are being affected by the same thing
  • so holster hauls a screaming bitty into jack’s room and dumps him on the bed next to jack and the moment they touch everything…stops
  • why yes, it’s our old friend, the Forced to Be Touching At All Times Trope

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Listen… I tried drawing something different today, I really tried!! (and failed lmao)

I just can’t stop thinking about what an actual ray of sunshine gansey must have been as a kid, how carefree and happy and possibly chasing butterflies.

i just wanted you to tell me.
when things were getting hard again,
when all you felt was a whirlwind in your head,
when you went out with girls who weren’t me.

i wanted you to describe the people you fell in love with:
why you loved them, how they treated you,
if you still fight with yourself about
if you are worth anything or not because
they made you question your self-worth every day.
i wanted you to tell me about the things they did right,
about why they’re still in and out of your life,
about how you ran into them in the supermarket
the other day and you still felt something
when you hugged them goodbye.

i wanted you to tell me
about all of the the mistakes you made
and why you made them.
i wanted you to introduce me
to all of the monsters under your bed.
i wanted to hear about the happiest you’ve ever been
even if it wasn’t with me.
i wanted to hear about your boss and your job
and the new car you were thinking of buying.
i wanted to see the two apartments you were looking at
and try to decide with you which is better.

i wanted to know about the times
you’ve thought about driving your car off a cliff
and the little moments that made you re-think it.
i wanted to be there to celebrate your triumphs
and admire your strength - i wanted to know everything
about you so i could love you anyway.

but i guess with you, i found out not everyone is like me.
not everyone blurts out their whole life story
every time they are given the chance.
and i just wanted you to tell me
who made you feel like you couldn’t open up,
who hurt you so bad that you couldn’t let me in,
somebody who honest to god,
would have loved you no matter what.

but i ask you how you are and you say “not bad”
and then you ask about me
and you wake up in another girl’s bed
because you don’t know how to open up
and you let me find out months later
because you don’t know how to open up
and you let me hear stories about you from other people
because you don’t know how to open up

and it’s just sad, how all i wanted was to help
but you’ve never done anything but run from my love
and i get it
i guess
some people are just more reserved
and some people are afraid
and some people don’t take people up on offers to talk about it
even if the other person insists
and you can’t force people to let themselves fall in love with you.
you can’t force them to open up.

but aren’t there things that make you want to scream?
aren’t there things that make you want to cry?
aren’t there things you are so passionate about that
if you don’t let them out, you feel like you’re drowning?
don’t you ever hear something and can’t wait to tell me?
i guess what i’m trying to ask is
if you really have so little passion
or if you’re just not passionate about me.

—  we were sitting across from each other screaming, but i was the only one making a sound

People who slam doors and stomp their feet to show how much they want to physically hurt you shouldn’t be trusted

[Ficlet] Nicknames
Pairing: Dazai/Atsushi


“A what?” Atsushi slowly lowered the cup he’d brought to his lips.

Nickname, Atsushi-kun! Nicknames!” Dazai said, happily clapping his hands together and looking at Atsushi with an expectant gleam in his eyes.

“Ah,” Atsushi put down his coffee and picked up his pen again. Hopefully Dazai would leave it alone should he pretend to be busy with this report – which he was – but Dazai only leaned down further, practically hanging over Atsushi where he sat by his desk, innocently performing his duties at the Agency.

“Well, Atsushi-kun? Well?” Dazai pressed on, his tone of voice could only be described as giddy.

Atsushi’s shoulders lowered as he sighed and looked up at the other man. “Honestly, Dazai-san, I don’t really see any need for us to have nicknames for each other.”

Dazai made a sound, sounding vaguely offended, and dramatically put his hand over his heart.

“Atsushi-kun! I’m hurt! A nickname is an important pillar of any relationship!” Here he grabbed Atsushi’s hands to hold them against his chest instead, Atsushi still holding his pen in a loose grip. “Especially since I can’t make you stop with the honorific, these things are super important!”

Atsushi blinked owlishly, for the moment swayed by Dazai’s – dubiously authentic – performance while being relieved they were alone at the office at the same time.

“They are?”

Dazai nodded, encouraged by Atsushi considering the idea he grabbed a chair and sat down, leaning his elbows on the desk while still holding the other’s hands.

“Yes! We’ve been dating for – ah, three months now-“ Dazai stopped and smiled softly at him, Atsushi gave a small smile back, “- and I think we need to take this a step further.”

F-Further? You mean-?”

“Yes, nicknames! So, I’ll go first.”

“Dazai-san, I’m not sure this is necessary-“

“Kitten.”

Atsushi blinked, then frowned. “What?”

“Darling, honey, cutie pie,” Dazai kept listing names. Atsushi could feel a headache coming. He dragged his hand over his eyes and groaned.

“You’re not making any sense.”

Hmm,” Dazai made that offended noise again and Atsushi felt him taking his other hand – maybe to once again bring it to his chest and proclaim about the foundations of a functioning relationship. Atsushi peeked through his fingers and watched as Dazai elegantly held Atsushi’s hand in front of his own lips. He blew warm air over the skin, and something inside of Atsushi’s stomach fluttered.

Dazai dragged his lower lip over Atsushi’s fingers and then met his eyes. They seemed deep and warm in the sharp light of the afternoon sun.

“Sweetheart.”

The butterflies in Atsushi’s stomach turner sharper, he might’ve made a sound because Dazai’s gentle smile crooked; became smug. He leaned closer, close enough for Atsushi to catch the faint fragrance of tea and cologne over the beating of his heart that’d escalated quickly.

“Umm…”

“You like that?” Dazai’s voice sounded smooth despite his smile, his eyes twinkled. “Sweetheart?”

A furious blush stretched against his cheeks, Atsushi could feel it. The more it grew the bigger the grin on Dazai’s face widened, and Atsushi felt a strange feeling of losing – what he didn’t know, only that it frustrated him. He tried for a response but could only sputter helplessly.

Dazai chuckled and released his hand. “So that’s it, huh?” He said victoriously.

Atsushi jerked his head up and took hold of Dazai’s hands in a poor imitation of Dazai’s earlier actions. Heart in his mouth Atsushi said with a slightly squeaky but serious voice:

“My love.”

Dazai froze. He looked from their intertwined hands up to Atsushi’s determined face. Unblinking, he opened his mouth, then closed it.

“Well,” Dazai rasped and tried clearing his throat, “that’s it then.”

He got up, strange expression on his face, and then walked towards the exit.

“Dazai? Where are you going?” Kunikida met him in the door, looking up from his bunt of papers at Dazai’s retreating back.

“Oh, nothing. Just going to question the meaning of life!” Dazai answered, his laughter stiff.

What?” Kunikida yelled after him. He turned his head and stared hard at Atsushi. “What happened!?”

Then he stopped and, stupefied, looked down at his papers, “and why am I even acting surprised?

Atsushi groaned and hit his head on the desk.

He Hit Me (And It Felt Like a Kiss)
The Crystals

he hit me and it felt like a kiss
he hit me and i knew he loved me
if he didn’t care for me
i could have never made him mad
but he hit me and i was glad