hitler mustaches


by Nina Donovan, as performed by Ashley Judd at the Women’s March on Washington (1.21.2017)

I’m a Nasty Woman.
Not as nasty as a man who looks like he bathes in cheeto dust.
Not as nasty a man who is a diss track to America.
From Back to broken Back he’s stomped on, his words are just more white noise ruining this national anthem.
I’m not as nasty as confederate flags being tattooed across my city;
maybe the south actually is going to rise again
Or maybe it never really fell
Because we’re still drowning in vanilla coated power
Slavery has just been reinterpreted into the prison system
Black lives are still in shackles and graves just for being black in front of people who see melanin as animal skin
Tell me of a decade that didn’t have traces of white hoods burning up our faith in humanity.
I’m not as nasty as a swastika painted on a pride flag
And I didn’t know that devils could be resurrected but I feel Hitler in these streets
A mustache traded in for a Toupee
The Nazis renamed The Cabinet
Conversion therapy the new gas chamber,
Shaming and electrocuting the gay out of America
turning rainbows into suicide notes.
I’m not as nasty as racism, or fraud, or homophobia, sexual assault, transphobia, white supremacy, white privilege, ignorance, or misogyny
Not as nasty as trading girls like pokemon before their bodies have even evolved.
Not as nasty as your own daughter being your favorite sex symbol
Like wet dreams infused with your own genes.
But yeah!
I’m a nasty woman.
A phunky
Nasty woman.
Not as nasty as the combo of Trump and Pence being served into my voting booth,
But I’m nasty like the battles women fought to get me in that voting booth.
Nasty like the fight to close the wage gap.
Nasty like conversations trying to remind people there is such thing as a wage gap.
Tell me that this is only because women usually go into lower paying fields.
So why did last year’s top actresses make less than half of what the top actors did?
Do you realize that the World Cup shelf of the U.S. men’s soccer team is as empty as Trump’s promises
But the women’s team has scored three World Cups,
In 2015, brought in 20 million more dollars in revenue than the men’s team,
but is still paid 75% less?
See even when women go into high paying careers, their wages are still cut with blades sharpened by testosterone.
Tell me why the work of a black woman and a hispanic women is only worth 63 and 54 percent of a white man’s privileged paycheck?
This is not a feminist myth;
this is inequality.
So we are not here to be debunked
We are here to be respected.
We are here to be nasty
like blood stained bedsheets.
In case you forgot,
women don’t choose when or if they get their periods!
Trust me, if could we would!
We don’t like throwing away our favorite pairs of underwear!
But men can choose to not have sex
And they know how to live without a full head of hair,
so why are tampons and pads still taxed, but Viagra and Rogaine isn’t?
Is your erection really more important than protecting the messy parts of my womanhood?
Is the thinning of your hair really more embarrassing than the period-staining of my jeans?
I know it seems petty to complain about a few extra cents
But it’s just the finishing touch on a pile of change I have yet to feel in this country.
So don’t try to justify our injustices with excuses that smell like your security when you’re walking alone to the bathroom
or your car
or down the street.
Security my eyes have yet to see
Their too busy praying to my feet
So you don’t mistake eye contact for wanting physical contact
I’ve been zipping up my smile so you don’t think I want to unzip your jeans.
I know you forget to examine the reflection of your own privilege
You may be afraid of the truth
But I’m not afraid to be honest
I’m not afraid to be nasty
Yeah I’m nasty
like the struggle of women still beating equality into the world,
because our rights have been beaten out of us for too long.
And our fight will continue to embody our nastiness.
I’m nasty like red, white, and blue bruises.
Nasty like Elizabeth, Amelia, Rosa, Eleanor, Condoleezza, Sonia, Malala, Michelle.
Our mothers, our sisters, us sisters are all nasty like history
And our pussies
ain’t for grabbing
They’re for reminding you that our walls are stronger than America’s ever will be.
They’re for birthing new generations of
Nasty women.
So if you a nasty woman
say hell yeah.

pig emoji review

pillow shaded, beady eyes, a vacant smile, but somehow still a charming little boy. might murder you tho. 2/5

would be kinda cute but he has a hitler mustache. 1/5

what the fuck. 0/5

a perfect boy, the best boy. loving, tender, beautiful. 5/5

a chubby, sad boy. kinda looks like a ballsack but in a cute way. 4/5

what the fuck pt. 2. what is that smile? why is it only at the corners of its mouth? or are those dimples? 0/5

a nice boy, inexperienced in love but would treat you right. 4/5

i’m torn on this boy. he’s the kind of boy that looks cute but you’d catch him getting coffee with ur best friend and maybe it’s just a misunderstanding but you have a sinking feeling, and you realize you’ve known it all along. 3/5

a lovely, simple boy. not the smartest but so pure. 5/5

his eyes look like his nostrils. the one floppy ear is cute tho. 2/5

a bad boy. not to be trusted with your love, but he’s just so cute and charming you find yourself falling anyway. 4/5

will probably kill you. 1/5

The signs as out of context things I've said recently
  • Aries: Helo julian I see you are playinng ass
  • Taurus: you're a shark alex I hate to tell you like this but just in case it comes up
  • Gemini: catch bees by putting the bees in the trap
  • Cancer: apparently at one point I drew a cat with a hitler mustache and called it kitler
  • Leo: life's greatest lesson is to not shout about fast breaks in the middle of a five below
  • Virgo: so this horse was like, a total douche
  • Libra: he was literally just frying a piece of cheese in a pan
  • Scorpio: what if there were these two guys on the moon and one killed the other with lance armstrong's testicle
  • Sagittarius: there was a stripper octopus
  • Capricorn: 💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸 holy shit look at this flying money
  • Aquarius: ire femblem is like fire emblem but everyone is an angry girl
  • Pisces: seahorse was a champion racebiscuit
Today, I fucked up by trying to smoke a Twix bar.

I was with my friends last night and we got a little bit too drunk, after a few rounds my friend said that you could smoke a Twix and dared me to do it, being the drunk idiot I was did it. I burned my lip and now I have a Hitler mustache engraved onto my face, i’m going to have to walk into my workplace in 40 minutes while looking like Adolf Hitler.

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As if I needed another reason to hate Jimmy Fallon. Let’s add “Normalizing Trump for the Masses” to the list.

Maybe he’ll play beer pong with him while rhapsodizing about starting World War III because someone flipped him the bird.

Or maybe they’ll write wacky thank you notes to Putin for being a “real leader.”

We’re through the looking glass here, people. Imagine Fallon playing with Hitler’s mustache in 1936. Wouldn’t that have been wacky?!

Go to hell, Jimmy Fallon.