more hitchlock canons conceived whilst doing menial chores
this is a biggie, guys. and it’s frankly ridiculous.
ok so first of all, the Earth/reality in which this happens is an alternate one. this is an Earth that hasn’t been destroyed (yet). here’s the lowdown.
Arthur Dent is born as John Watson (i need to work out how this happens later)
Sherlock Holmes is half Betelgeusan, which contributes to his intellect and constant feeling of distance from normality. in fact, he’s Ford Prefect’s son (yup you read right!). in this alternate earth Ford landed before Sherlock was born and, well, do i really have to spell it out for you? this headcanon was inspired, by treesoup’s excellent fic (in which mycroft and sherlock are alien and omg seriously just go read it it’s great), as i liked the idea of Sherlock not being human.* Mycroft MIGHT be Ford’s son too, but this doesn’t really work as Ford would have had to have been around for a few years acting as a father, and I prefer the idea that he popped in, conceived Sherlock, and popped out again with Sherlock growing up not knowing about his father. Ford left him his copy of the Guide, but it’s locked, and Sherlock has spent his life slowly unlocking the contents, article by article.
while on earth Ford bumped into Fenchurch’s parents at Fenchurch station, while they were… you know… which meant that her parents weren’t so proud to have concieved her there and she was born Mary Morstan (see where i’m going with this?)
Tricia McMillan is a highly successful investigative journalist, in fact she’s the only one Sherlock trusts. it took a long time for her to earn his respect, and vice versa, but now they are allies bordering on collegues.
in this reality the Earth is protected by an improbability field (the code for finding the earth in this is Sherlock’s telephone number at Baker Street). why is it protected? i don’t know yet, but it’s probably got something to do with Ford and Sherlock and yeah. #incomplete headcanon
oh and it all kicks off with Random finding this Earth INSTEAD of the alternate version she found in Mostly Harmless. so she arrives all crazed and wild and guess who she meets? only someone who is Mr Crazed (he also goes by Mr Sex). so there’s all that going on.
Ford follows her with Arthur, but Arthur mysterious disappears when they enter the improbability field. once this happens, Ford sorta merges with his alternate self, and now has the memory of being stuck on the Earth for 15 years in the normal canon AND the alternate time he spent on Earth when he conceived Sherlock. but he doesn’t really understand this yet.
and… that’s pretty much it. it’s ridiculous, i know. and it’s unlikely to actually become anything - what i tend to do is think up tons of plots and headcanons that never make it to fics - but it was fun to think about anyway :D
oh and also there’s a murder, possibly Tricia’s (making Random a suspect). the normal version Trillian follows Random too (like she does in the canon).
and zaphod’s there too. somehow.
I FORGOT at some point, thanks to the improbability field, the idea for Sherlock Holmes gets sent back in time and sideways in a few dimensions of space and probability to end up hitting Arthur Conan Doyle in the fact one day when he was sitting minding his own business in his study (which, fyi, i’ve been into).
PS: at one point moriarty is a whale (that lestrade has to deal with) because that’s pretty much just a universal constant at this stage. credit goes to the aptly url’d improbablewhale for this idea.
*: dear treesoup, if you have a problem with me being inspired by your headcanon and adapting it to create this one, i’m totally cool with taking down this post. just let me know!
This is the wonderful Stick Up Your Thumb, And Say Jam by LoverBoyWonder. It’s written brilliantly, perfectly emanating Adams’ style.
As far as I can tell it’s a re-imagining of Hitchhiker’s but with the Sherlock characters. And it’s very good.
Have a quote.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy says that there is one planet that is so beautiful and is home to so much life that it has been widely recognized as the most important planet to ever exist. Everyone on this planet is usually happy, and if they’re not happy they’re either in a one-sided relationship or dead.
This story is not about that planet.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy says that Earth is smallish, roundish, and wettish; with some dryish bits sprinkled here and there for spice. It’s not particularly beautiful, and even less important. The life forms living on Earth are humanoid, ignorant, and enjoy watching crap telly programs every night.
This story is about The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
It begins with a life form from Earth.
This life form lived on a continent called Europe, in a country called Britain, in a city called London, in an apartment called 221B on a Street called Baker. His name was John Watson, and he was a man of simple tastes. He liked tea, jam and jumpers; he liked his little apartment that he lived in alone, and he liked his landlady, Mrs. Hudson. He didn’t like Thursday mornings.
I’m not too sure whether it’s complete or not, as I haven’t read it all yet, but it’s four chapters long and so far it’s ace.
(I would point out though, that the author got it wrong in their description and meant Ford instead of Trillian. I got far too excited at the prospect of Trillian!Sherlock, and, at the moment at least, it’s seems as though this is not the case.)
On the asteroid 221b, on the unfashionable end of the London star system, lives a wholly remarkable man. And it just so happens that he’s looking for a planetmate at the same time former inhabitant of the now destroyed Earth, one John Watson, was looking for a place to live.
so firstly, it’d be really handy if you reply or like this post to say you’re one of this subfandom or you like the crossover :D (just so i have an idea of whether this is popular or not, i’m not gonna go crazy and stalk you all!)
secondly - how do we proceed? i’m loving the little fic snippets there are so far (Lestrade’s improbable whale division - improbablewhale, However Improbable - lanny-ism, and treesoup’s fic which i haven’t got the permission to link to… actually i haven’t got permission to link to any of these lol oh well it’s promotion), and i also like how they’ve all got different interpretations of this crossover
basically more of the same is what i’m thinking
but maybe a blog where we can compile it?
also i’m gonna have a bash at writing some fic once i’ve sorted out my headcanons better
this was the most ridiculous post ever
PS: let me know if you want me to tag you whenever a new hitchlock post goes up. or, you know, you could just track the hitchlock tag like i am! be aware tho - improbablewhale and lanny-ism’s hitchlock fics aren’t there, as they weren’t initially tagged with hitchlock, but i’ve tagged them with this so if you look at my blog under that tag you’ll find my reblogs :)
it’s totally part of hitchlock guys because dirk gently is totally part of the hitchhiker’s verse and no-one can persuade me otherwise because ziggy deduced that the next book adams was going to write was a dirk/hitchhiker’s crossover and YES THIS IS NOW PART OF HITCHLOCK
the question is, should it go in the hitchlock blog???
zaphod annoys the hell out of sherlock. he’s arrogant, hyperactive, manic… basically everything that sherlock can be but because zaphod pulls it all off with an illusion of baffling stupidity he drives sherlock out of his mind. mostly because sherlock thinks he really isn’t that intelligent, but then zaphod comes out with some genius remark or makes a deduction before him (which is normally preposterous but in some way right, or pointing to the right answer and zaphod’s like “yeah that’s what i meant all along” and sherlock is furious because he can’t ignore the fact that zaphod’s deduction is part of it but he’s not getting the big picture and HE’S NOT CLEVERER THAN HIM DAMMIT)
so yeah, funtimes there
trillian really likes john. there’s definitely some chemistry there, maybe the potential for a meaningful romantic relationship but he reminds her too much of arthur and she knows john’s really projecting his feelings for sherlock onto her.
random hates sherlock but is very sexually attracted to him. he prefers trillian, however (intellectually mostly, maybe with some romance but not much), and just ignores her. random and moriarty however, have a very passionate relationship where they both drive each other crazy, alternating between not being able to get enough of each other and wanting to be as far away from each other as possible (and these two don’t coincide: more often than not one will want to be close while the other wants to get away). moran gets ridiculously jealous and random teases him about it all the time.
ford and sherlock get on fairly well together. there’s definitely some good banter there. and ford likes john, often teasing arthur about how similar they are.
lestrade is constantly annoyed with ford and zaphod having shenanigans that inevitably end up him having to bail them out.
zaphod constantly flirts with molly but she’s more interested with ford, which aggravates the hell out of zaphod. molly and ford have a fleeting romantic relationship and end up very close friends.
molly and trillian are best friends. they go drinking with fenchurch and irene (who aren’t a couple: though irene has a crush on fenchurch she’s totally enamoured with arthur, of course).
wow ok what am i doing.
hitchlock guys. it’s a thing.
oh and they all meet up with the doctor who characters every so often and hilarity ensues.