hit me with your best shot

Puckerman life update since it’s been a while. Circumstances have changed, but I’m officially living in New York. Finally have all of my crap here and I’m starting my new job tomorrow. I’ve decided to give this city at least a year to feel it out since the reason I moved out here is no longer a reason to stay. 

So bring it on New York. Hit me with your best shot.

training turned tension starters

Or more specifically, “two characters who have been sparring or in combat training together and almost kiss at the end of their practice fight”. As requested ! Feel free to make any changes.

  • “Is that the best you can do?”
  • “I won’t go easy on you.” / “I’ll go easy on you.” / “Quit going easy on me.”
  • “Hit me with your best shot.”
  • “You need to do better if you want to meet your goal.”
  • “I’ve been wanting to kick your ass all week.”
  • “Is this necessary?”
  • “Try again.”
  • “You’re pissing me off.” / “If you’re mad, why don’t you use your anger? Beat me at least once.”
  • “Here, let me show you how.”
  • “Woah! [falls on top of __]” 
  • “Nice moves.”
  • “[pins __ to floor]” / “[pins __ to wall]”
  • “You’re…really close right now.”
  • “G–get off of me.”
  • “You’re heavy.” / “You’re crushing me.”
  • “Sorry–are you okay?”
  • “You’re really red right now.”
  • “…Do we always end up on top of each other?”
  • “Are you still panting?”
  • “I told you, it was an accident.”
  • “…Why don’t you just kiss me?”
  • “I’ll consider kissing you if you can beat me.”
Ask Me Anything List!

Pick a number and send me it through requests and I’ll answer honestly. Be prepared for the randomness! 

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed? 

(2) Do You Have Freckles? 

(3) Can You Whistle? 

(4) Last Song You Listened To. 

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

(6) Relationship Status. 

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now? 

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky? 

(9) How Many Followers? 

(10) Zodiac Sign. 

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour? 

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?  

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower? 

(14) What Books Are You Reading? 

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.  

(16) Favourite Anime? 

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of? 

(18) Do You Collect Anything? 

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch? 

(20) Do You Dance In The Car? 

(21) Favourite Animal? 

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics? 

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed? 

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now? 

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog? 

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water? 

(28) What Makes You Happy?

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now. 

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? 

(31) Dogs Or Cats? 

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? 

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean? 

(35) Do You Believe In Magic? 

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue? 

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It? 

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You? 

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? 

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? 

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams? 

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry. 

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds? 

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be? 

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper? 

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning? 

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write? 

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud? 

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? 

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather) 

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now? 

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed. 

(58) What Is Your Gender?

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About? 

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

(64) Favourite Social Media? 

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

67) Are You A Virgin? 

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now? 

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free? 

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? 

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now? 

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? (75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight? 

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them. 

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now. 

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person? 

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened. 

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite? 

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More? 

(93) How Do You Look Right Now? 

(94) Ever Had Any Suicidal Thoughts? 

(95) Name Something That Relaxes You. 

(96) What Tattoo Do You Want?

(97) Favourite YouTuber? 

(98) Post A Picture Of Yourself. 

(99) Do You Have Any Illnesses? 

(100) Favourite Place To Relax?

EVERY CURTIS FIC EVER:

“OW!” I yelled at Carbonated Beverage. We have the same looks, I guess. I have his beautiful, majestic shiny sun-kissed natural-highlighted sandy — not like Sandy, I hate her because she’s so horrible — blonde brown-ish long hair. “Did you really have to splash water on me? I was gettin’ up, anyways!”

“I’m sorry,” Carbonated Beverage sang in response. “I love you so much you’re such a good sister you should come to the dx today I miss you hahaha you’re so cool and the gang loves to be aaround you1!1”

“hahaha totally!” I pulled on my cowboy boots. They matched my skinny jeans and tank top perfectly. And my leather jacket — duh, I’m a greaser — looked oh-so prefect with it1!

I don’t put on much for makeup because I don’t need any I’m so pretty. I’m not like the other greaser girls who wear all that makeup. But somehow everyone in my brother’s gang loves me!

“Ivory Diamond Ponygirl Sparkle Curtis!” Darry, my older brother called. “Come on and laugh and enjoy this breakfast I made or else I’ll hit you too because I’m so mean but when I’m not working 2,3493 hour shifts I find it in my heart to care about you!”

In the kitchen, I find Two-Bit, Johnny, and iwefisfsbbsuhf DALLAS. He’s this sexual magnet of a teenager that attracts me because he;s so aofdangerous and I’m soosdfj not! “H-Hi Dally.”

“Hey sweetheart dollface,” he said and I proceeded to blush so much. I’m really ugly in my opinion but everyone calls me pretty I hope Dally likes me.

Johnny is like my brother. He’s so little and fragile and I totally love friend-zoning him as my best friend!

But none of this matters, because my boyfriend is going to pick me up soon. And no — I didn’t change the tense of this story eight times!

“Bye friends and family! Two-Bit, you’re so funny! Steve, wash your face the cake I bake especially for you is all over youu!”

~O~o~“` time skip ” o~O~~

“What’s that, Ivory Diamond Ponygirl Sparkle Dakota Elaine Pearl Sierra Lavendar Curtis?!” I knew it was bad because he used my middle names and my last name.

“What is it, Darry?” I said innocently and tried to cover my makeup-covered bruise. I knew it didn’t cover well!1!! He removed my hand and gasped so loud that Coca-Cola woke up!!.

“It was your horrible hood boyfriend I’ve never, ever met, right?” Darry was so angry I tried to calm him down but it wouldn’t work ! “THat little loser —”

“I’m motherfucking dfucking dicksucking-ass here!! I am ready to fucck shit up because I am DaLLAs Winston, the *ugly in books yikes but then again pony was unreliable narrator thank you fandom* unresistable bad boi that’s always  motherfucking there for your fucking motherfucking ass, dollface babycheeks!”;al

SUDDENLY DALLAS APPEARED. Where did he come from? I thought he was banging Sylvia that cheating slut who sleeps with everyone! Woah! They must be broken up again.

“OH DALLAS!” I, skinny beautiful long haired Ivory Diamond Ponygirl Sparkle Dakota Elaine Pearl Sierra Lavendar — shit, I forgot Ros(i)e – Curtis, cried and leaped into his arms.

“Hey, baby –” he suddenly changed his personality for me — “I’m gonna beat the shit out of that guy! I knew he didn’t deserve you! nOT Like I do! let’s clean you up and possibly makeout, okay??”

Suddenly I so loved. More than I’ve ever felt in my lifetime!11!

A/N: hey guys so sorry I didn’t update for six and a half months but here it is! I hope you guys like it! Guess what happens next chapter? I’m gonna give a super big hint, okay? And if I don’t get 5464 reads or follows I won’t write anymore!! How do you feel about Ivory Diamond Ponygirl Sparkle Dakota Pear Sierra Rosie Lavendar being assaulted — physically and/or sexually — and/or getting pregnant at sixteen?? dally would make a good father!! socs love jumping girls!! they’re so mean like Cherry!

Can I also say I’m so happy about the inclusion of Adam because if Shiro was in a happy, loving and committed relationship and on the path to be engaged before Kerberos that means Shiro in no way had feelings for Keith which MEANS if Sheith becomes canon antis are in no way able to claim it was ever predatory because Shiro’s feelings wouldn’t have developed until they were both consenting adults

Fall Out Boy Songs for the Signs

ARIES: Tell That Mick He Just Made My List Of Things To Do Today // Breaking hearts has never looked so cool, as when you wrap your car around a tree, your makeup looks so great next to his teeth

TAURUS: Centuries // Until you die for me, as long as there’s a light, my shadow’s over you, cause I am the opposite of amnesia, and you’re a cherry blossom, you’re about to bloom, you look so pretty, but you’re gone so soon

GEMINI: Miss Missing You // I will sing to you every day, if it will take away the pain, oh and I’ve heard you got it, got it so bad, cause I am the best you’ll never have

CANCER: Young and Menance // Oops I, did it again, I forgot what I was losing my mind about, oh, I only wrote this down to make you press rewind, and send a message: I was young and a menace

LEO: Bang the Doldrums // And I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me, the same way I think of you, this is a love song in my own way, happily ever after below the waist

VIRGO: Fame < Infamy // I am God’s gift but why would he bless me with, such wit without a conscience equipped, I’m addicted to the way I feel when I think of you, whoa, “There’s too much green to feel blue”

LIBRA: I’m Like a Lawyer with the Way I’m Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) // We’re the new face of failure, prettier and younger but not any better off, bulletproof loneliness at best, at best

SCORPIO: I’ve Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) // We’re the kids who feel like dead ends, and I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses, I took a shot and didn’t even come close, at trust and love and hope, and the poets are just kids who didn’t make it, and never had it at all

SAGITTARIUS: Death Valley // Cause we are alive, here in death valley, but don’t take love off the table yet, cause tonight it’s just fire alarms and losing you, we love a lot so we only lose a little

CAPRICORN: Tiffany Blews // Oh baby, you’re a classic, like a little black dress, you’re a faded moon, stuck on a little hot mess 

AQUARIUS: Hum Hallelujah // I thought I loved you, it was just how you looked in the light, a teenage vow in a parking lot, ‘til tonight do us part, I sing the blues and swallow them too

PISCES: Golden // Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams, where the sewage of youth drowned the spark of my teens, and I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me

(  LOVE  /  HATE  SENTENCE  STARTERS.

change pronouns to your liking / as you see fit!

❛ I hate that I love you. ❜
❛ I can’t stand the fact that I love you. ❜
❛ I’d rather die than spend one more second loving you. ❜
❛ If I could, I would make myself fall out of love with you. ❜
❛ Why is it so hard for to love me the way I do you? ❜
❛ I love you but please get out of my sight.  ❜
❛ I never said that I loved you.. ❜
❛ I love you but not that much. ❜
❛ You’re confusing the words love and like with one another. ❜
❛ Did you really think that I could ever love you? ❜
❛ We are not meant to love one another. ❜
❛ The last thing I want to do with you is love you. ❜
❛ I feel like I’m waiting on something that isn’t going to happen. ❜
❛ Here we go, here we go again. Now you’re telling me that you love me. ❜
❛ You only tell me you love me when you’re drunk or need something. ❜
❛ You say you love me and then turn around do this? ❜
❛ I’ve doubted this whole relationship ever since it started. ❜
❛ I don’t want to be in love with you anymore. ❜
❛ I never asked fall in love with you! ❜
❛ It’s not my fault that you love me more than I love you. ❜
❛ I’m tired of you walking all over my heart and emotions! Someday, mark my word. ❜
❛ One day, I will fall out of love with you and I cannot wait for that day to come. ❜
❛ I miss you but I’m better off without you around. ❜
❛ I want to push you off a cliff but hurry and be there to catch you at bottom. ❜
❛ I want to strangle you sometimes but then quickly bring you back to life. ❜
❛ I’m drowning in you and I don’t think even I can save myself. ❜
❛ Have a nice life, I’m done trying to be in it. ❜
❛ I couldn’t let go of you even if I literally did. ❜
❛ I could let go of you but I would still be there, standing, unmoving. ❜
❛ I don’t want to be saved from drowning in you. ❜
❛ All you do is break me and all I do is love you for it. ❜
❛ I wish that my hate for you would override the love. ❜
❛ The love I have for you overrides the hate I have for you. ❜
❛ I’m in misery with and without you. ❜
❛ I’m just as miserable without you as I am with you. ❜
❛ I just want you to stop hurting me! Is that so hard? ❜
❛ Why can’t you see? All you do is play with my emotions. ❜
❛ I’m tired of this roller coaster ride with you. ❜
❛ Please spare me the apology that I’ve heard so many times before. ❜
❛ I’m used to it by now, okay? I almost expect it. ❜
❛ Is it bad for me to say that I’m used to it? ❜
❛ I wouldn’t know how to act if you started treating me better. ❜
❛ I am so stuck with this love for you, I want it to go away. ❜
❛ I spend more time crying than anything because of you. ❜
❛ You say it’s the last time every time. ❜
❛ How many more times are you going to apologize and I just forgive you? ❜
❛ I’m weakened by your words every time. ❜
❛ I feel like a puppet and your the puppet master, just doing whatever while I suffer. ❜
❛ I’ve long lost the thought that you actually cared. ❜
❛ i’m hurting while I’m with you.. ❜
❛ I just keep on running right back to you. ❜
❛ I don’t want to let it go, I can’t let it go. ❜
❛ I fight the whole world for you if I have too. ❜
❛ I’m not giving up on us having happiness one day. ❜
❛ This love is taking all my energy. ❜
❛ This love will be the death of me but I know I’ll die happily. ❜
❛ Though my heart can’t take no more I keep running back to you. ❜
❛ My heart is beating for you but I can’t stop crying. ❜
❛ All the things we accept, be the things we regret. ❜
❛ I don’t know how I allow you to treat me so bad and still I stay. ❜
❛ When I get the strength to leave you, you always tell me you need me. ❜
❛ I’m mad because I love you. ❜
❛ I stop to think you could appreciate me then it all remains the same. ❜
❛ My biggest fear is that you will never change. ❜
❛ I’m sad and in love, that’s not how it’s supposed to go. ❜
❛ At this point I’m bulletproof with you, so hit me with your best shot. ❜
❛ Will you ever get tired of hurting me? Will I ever get tired of letting you hurt me? ❜
❛ The last thing I want is to go back but I know I will because I’m weak. ❜
❛ You are biggest downfall. ❜
❛ You are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need. ❜
❛ I still fight and I don’t know why. ❜
❛ If our love is insanity, why are you my clarity? ❜
❛ It’s so hard to love someone who doesn’t know how to love. ❜
❛ I’m feeling really unappreciated but that’s not new.  ❜
❛ I don’t know how much more my heart can take. ❜
❛ So sad what love will make you do. ❜
❛ I can’t stand how much I need you. ❜
❛ When will this ever finally come to it’s end? You and me? ❜
❛ Everything you do makes me smile and I like you for a while. ❜
❛ You know exactly what to do so I can’t stand at you. ❜
❛ I despise that I adore you. ❜
❛ You completely know the power that you love. ❜
❛ It’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I love you beyond the reason why. ❜
❛ You’ll probably always have this affect on me. ❜
❛ Tell a lie that makes me want to stay, like you always do. ❜
❛ If it’s real then I guess I’ll feel the pain. ❜
❛ It’s hard to love someone who can’t be loved. ❜
❛ This love I can’t undo, you got me bound to you. ❜
❛ Please, don’t tell me that you love me. ❜
❛ I would’ve given you all my heart but there’s someone who’s torn it a part. ❜
❛ I’ll try to love again but I know the first cut is the deepest. ❜
❛ When it comes to loving me, he’s worst. ❜
❛ You say the words but it just don’t feel right. ❜
❛ You say you’ve changed but we both you’re begging, don’t fool me. ❜
❛ You say you dream of my face but you don’t like me, you just like the chase. ❜
❛ I bet you start loving me when I find somebody else, somebody better than you. ❜
❛ I’m letting you go, I’m loving myself. ❜
❛ I’m going crazy without you, you got me so confused. ❜
❛ All you have to do is that ‘i’m sorry’ and ‘i’m in love with you.’ ❜
❛ You’re truth is hard to believe. ❜
❛ You walked away and I walked away but we should’ve stayed. ❜

My Reputation story

Finally today “Reputation” arrived to this blondie here…

…and she really couldn’t wait to listen to it…

…So, she put the record on, and in the meantime, she read some drama on TS!!Weekly… 

…and she was very shocked by the discovery of Olivia’s real father!!!

…and she was very touched by that “If you’re anything like me” poem on the very last page. Cause she’s like you. In every word she saw herself: a hurted, lonely, insecure, blondie girl with too much hope in her heart. This girl is like you Taylor, and she always thought that things could get better, but now she truly believe it…

…and she was very happy too see that, on the other side of the world, you Taylor are having the best time of your life, cause you deserve nothing but happiness and love…

…Thank you @taylorswift, for giving us the best music we could ask for. Reputation is so good, I can’t even explain how good it is. This album hit me, like a shotgun shot to the heart. I can’t stop to listen to it, and to relate myself to those lyrics. Through this songs you tell your story, and you tell mine, and the story of millions other people in this world. You were with me, when I had 15 years old and I was dreaming about love. You were with me, when I had 16 and I was dealing with my first love, and I was feeling like a princess in a fairytale. You were with me, when I had 18 and I was going through a very painful heartbreak. You were with me, when I lost myself, and found a new version of me. You are with me now, that I’m trying to break free from this cage that my past choices have built all around me. It’s not going to be easy, but with you and your amazing music by my side, I now that everything is going to be alright.

Thank you, because, like always, you understand me more than anyone else in the world. 


UPDATE: I’m very very happy to announce that I will attend to MY FIRST  Taylor Swift concert at the REPUTATION STADIUM TOUR IN MANCHESTER. I will have to travel across the Europe to do that, but I would do EVERYTHING to see you, Taylor, at least once in my life!

So, I will be at the first night in Manchester, BK 127 Row P seat 754, and I would be very happy to have the chance to meet you Taylor. I will have a pretty shiny outfit, cause my love for you is real and real love shines like gold!

Also this year is our 10th anniversary!! Cause ten years ago, a little blondie girl was watching MTV and listened to Our song for the very first time. I think that the best way to celebrate this would be meeting you, and telling you in person how thankful I am for having you and your music in my life.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Sage McMae (aka @wewantreylo)

Kylo had never been good with his words. He wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. Gently, he reached for her hands, guiding them to his chest, until they sat in the same position on his chest as before. Carefully, he put his own hands on her hips, feeling the bump of her hip bones under each of his thumbs. Rey eyes didn’t break contact with his own, as he leaned down to meet her.

The instant his lips slotted against hers, he felt a jolt of heated pleasure course through him. It spanned his entire body, head to toe, causing him to feel light-headed and intoxicated. He felt as if he was drowning in the sensation.

She gasped, backing up so she was flush against the door. He wasn’t the only one who had experienced it.

“Don’t be afraid. I feel it too.”

It sounded better in his head, not quite as creepy as it had when he said it aloud, but Rey didn’t seem to care. Her fingers raked along his scalp, carding through his hair before she was tugging him down for another kiss. His hands slid across her back, moving to hold her against him. He could feel her rise to her tip-toes, trying to remain on his level. Bending slightly, he slid his hands down to her bare thighs and picked her up.

She let out a little cry of surprise, which had him grinning against her lips. Her shock let way to a smile of her own, as she wrapped her toned legs around him. Her hands slipped free of his hair, instead winding around his neck to keep herself balanced, never once breaking their lip-lock.


Commission by the amazingly talented @panda-capuccino. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST. DO NOT REMOVE CAPTION WHEN REBLOGGING. Thank you!

50% OFF Starters pt 2
  • "If you continue your attempts at flirting, I will be forced to take DRASTIC measures."
  • "I like watching you from behind."
  • "Stunning deduction sherlock."
  • *demonic voice* "by the darkest sun that casts its menacing rays of the furthest madness, we sense your intentions, (name). the gibbering of mad cultists whisper wicked words to temporal winds, they inform us that you are not to be trusted. Usurper. Usurper."
  • "USURPER!"
  • "I've heard a lot about you and your extensive collection of tank tops, like I'm thinking about getting like 10 more."
  • "Calm down little dude."
  • "the fear of drowning is a primal one. it's a feeling of helplessness, of losing all control. struggling against an inevitable fate as your lungs fill with water..."
  • "I don't need a piece of paper to tell me how to swim or how to fuck Dean Winchester."
  • "You know I had a dream like this once, you surprisingly had more clothes on, though, at least at the start."
  • "ten bucks says he dies."
  • "I'm gonna go run my feelings off."
  • "Yeah it didn't work out... for them."
  • "I have to go scream confusing, end-of-the-world ramblings at people under the freeway."
  • "I feel like I should argue this, but the potential for implied sexual antics is far too appealing."
  • "do not be alarmed! I am about to be hilarious."
  • "Maybe you should stop dragging me to these rap battles then!"
  • "I WANT YOU TO SHARE THE THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME!"
  • "I was under the impression there would be implied sexual antics, time to take matters into my own hands!"
  • "This feels a little exploitative."
  • "I need a soda. Or therapy. Probably both."
  • "Yeah it started because K-pop concert security is tougher than it looks but I just got hooked on the feeling of crushing someones face in with a solid right cross."
  • "sHHSHHshhshhhhh shut up shut up! shh I SMELL BOYS BEING GAY."
  • "Excuse me I am trying to scream my feelings into your mouth!"
  • "That wasn't hot... it was just fucking weird..."
  • "It's not what I would have you in, but I do appreciate beauty in all its many forms. mostly that cute booty though."
  • "hey, the heart wants what the heart wants."
  • "It may be hard to believe, but recently I lost the ability to read."
  • "Just because you can't read the words, doesn't mean you can't enjoy the book in a different way."
  • "boom! done. advice over. let's go get shitfaced!"
  • "Alright I brought the bitch-board for (name)."
  • "Alright let's call it what it is, a sissy paddle."
  • "calm down (name) we weren't talking about your internet search history."
  • "MY SWEET BABY SWAM!"
  • "didn't we make a pact to stop her from doing this weeb shit?"
  • "this better not be anymore or (name)'s weird porn!"
  • "Please call the police, because I look so good in this it should be against the law! uh, don't actually call the police though, I WILL incriminate all of you."
  • "Yeah but didn't they train on those islands where all those teenagers were killed? ...and those witch burnings happened? ...and all that toxic waste was spilled?"
  • "if you die, I get fired and I like this job. people don't ask questions here."
  • "fish-men walk among us. conquerers of land, BORN FROM THE OCEAN--"
  • "I don't need him to make weird pornography, I have prawns for that."
  • "Finally moving out, son? I'd like to say it's been fun. I'd like to. But I won't."
  • "hey check me out! I'm on a bout!"
  • "Sit down and stop making 2009 references!"
  • "nah, I scream enough at the unforgiving void of space."
  • "DON'T STEAL MY BONES!"
  • "You know, the ocean goblin? He lives in the ocean and if you don't brush your teeth he steals your bones."
  • "Ok I'm done for the day. If anyone needs me I'm gonna be in the tent looking at weird porn."
  • "Hey, you miss every ball you don't hit."
  • "You say 'you people' like you're not part of the family. I've got some news for you, you're already on the christmas card."
  • "You think these antics would fly at the german club?"
  • "brush your teeth, kid."
  • "Can you hear it? the ocean... it wants blood."
  • "I'm the best damn shot we've got."
  • "You know, when I was a kid, before my dad got hit by that train, he said, '(name) don't let your friends swim out into the ocean and get stranded on the haunted island of camp kill-a-teen.' and here we are... stranded on the... haunted island of camp kill-a-teen..."
  • "that's fair."
  • "hey tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumbass!"
  • "It's fine, baby, if you get scared you can squeeze my hand."
  • "now let's make like scooby-doo and split up to find a clue."
  • "In 1991 a case was discovered where a man had the remains of over fifteen victims hidden in his apartment, over 40% of which were stored within his refrigerator. do you know how unsanitary that is?"
  • "you're so cute when you never shut up. Now shut up."
  • "all hail decision cube!"
  • "that's when you started walking on the wild side, right?"
  • "I AM NOT SOME PETTY CRIMINAL!"
  • "Does anyone want to hear my tragic backstory?"
  • "Bed? But what about possible axe-murderers?"
  • "And we solved the curse of the island, and realized that the real axe murderer was love, all along."
  • "It was a good night for all of us, let's spend more nights in abandoned lighthouses."
  • "That hottie from the track team is here and I wanna ask politely is he wants to get rowdy in the back of my dad's Prius."
  • "YOU CAN'T CATCH ME GAY THOUGHTS"