hit the red button

Quite a few have been saying:”But what about laughing?”, in the comments of my ‘Weird Human Reactions to Fear: the Singing Edition’ post. My question is: do you know why humans laugh when shit gets real?

Laughter is our brain’s Blue Screen of Death.

Where a computer would throw up an error and possibly crash, our brains go:”well, shit”, and hit the big red button labelled: ‘LAUGHTER (and possibly applause, but probably not applause)’. Since we need our brains 24/7, we don’t have the luxury of error messages. So our brains buy some time to figure out what’s going on by making us laugh in the weirdest situations.

Imminent doom? Laugh.

Absolutely livid? Laugh.

Distraught? Laugh.

Pretty sure you’re gonna die? Laugh.

I mean, we can’t be sure the aliens don’t have brains that work the same way, but seeing as other animals on Planet Earth don’t really have that either… that’d probably freak them the fuck out too.

Not only do the gangly bipeds sing when they’re scared, they could just as easily start laughing.

anonymous asked:

me: will that be debit or credit? customer: debit me: *hits 'debit'* okay, go ahea- customer: NO ACTUALLY CREDIT me: okay thats fine, just hit the red cancel button on the pin pa- customer: *shoves card into machine* ITS NOT WORKING?! me: 😧

2

Ben: Slightly Obsessive



For the third time today, your laptop rung out into the air of your apartment.

“For fucks sake…” You mumble, pausing the TV and picking up you laptop. You open the lid and like usually, there was a Skype call from a “BEN_bigdick_82” scoffing you hit the red ignore button and close the lid. Half a second later your phone dings. You pick it up and see yet another text message from “666-666-6666”

“Hey baby pick up the pone, I want to see you’re face.” BEN had been harassing you via technology all day, Skype, text message, everything he could get his little electrical hands on. You, obviously having had enough, roll your eyes and begin typing.

“Phone* Your*”

Immediate response

“Grammar Nazis are hot ;)” you choose to ignore him, tossing your phone down and turning your show back on. A few more notifications come in but you keep your attention on your show, you refused to encourage his childish like behavior. You had no idea why he was being so invasive, he had only ever made passing comments at you while at the mansion but this, this was obsessive. Your Netflix begins skipping, thinking it was your shitty internet, you try to fix it. Green and red lines form on the screen, the sound and pictures distorting.

“Oh for the love of God…” You groan, throwing your head back. You close your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose. You knew exactly what would be there when you opened them again. When you lifted your head, as you expected, BEN’s grinning face leaned out of the TV.

“I actually hate you right now.” You snap, staring at him. He arrogantly chuckles, climbing the rest of the way out. He stands there in your living room, grinning at you like a maniac.

“You don’t hate me baby.” He says, coming to sit right beside you. His arm drapes around you on the back of the couch, him smirking at you.

“The fuck do you want Ben?”

“You…” He says softly, playing with your air. You pull away, scooting away from him.

“I’m not some piece of ass you can just-”

“Y/n, stop.” His voice changes from flirty to stern, you look up at him shocked and a little confused.

“What?” You ask, and he looks up at you. He pauses fro a minute before responding slowly.

“I…I like you Y/n. Like, like you like you.” He gets up, pacing around.

“That’s why I did all of this,” He gestures to all your devises,
“Why I wont stop bothering you.” He gestures to you, then runs his hands through his hair. You’d never seen him nervous like this before.

“I want you to…To be mine Y/n. Will you…be my girlfriend?” He asks quietly, looking down at his feet. A smile spreads across your face, and you stand from the couch. You walk up to him and cup his face making him look at you.

“Of course.” You say softly, he looks at you with surprise before he grins and pulls you into a hug.

“All you had to do was ask, BEN. Not piss me off first.” You say, giggling.

“Sorry about that.” He laughs and looks at you, smiling widely. Gently, he leans down and kisses you. Maybe today wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be.

I love Class but I’m worried…I’m worried about my morally black and white awkward princeling Charlie doing something monumentally stupid like the eye-for-an-eye genocidal plan, I’m worried about my tol gay son Matteusz being killed to push Charlie over the edge or their relationship crumbling because Charlie hit’s the big red button. I’m worried about my baby warrior queen having a freaking breakdown on an alien world. I’m worried about Ram, my sweet summer child, stuck on an alien world. I’m worried about Ram’s dad, actually superhero father of the year award right there, worried about his baby. I’m worried about my bitter salt queen Quill getting taken for a ride by the pretty matrix red dress chick. 

…I’m not worried about Tanya though. Tanya’s got her shit together, give my genius daughter some gold stars. 

…also correct me if I’m wrong here, I’m not a disabled individual so I got no clue if I’m right (probably not) but doesn’t the insta-heal of April’s mum not send a great message? I’m probably being a numpty here but I thought April’s mum was good representation and now…I dunno, clue me in people. Am I being an idiot or not? 

I am actually genuinely worried about the show right now though, I see the predictable plots and I’m holding onto hope that they didn’t go down those routes and I don’t have to abandon another fandom. I’m a fandom grandma, I’m too old for this shit. Just let me nest in a good fandom ppplllleeeeaaaseee.

Special Friends: Chapter 18

Submitted by: Panicattackkisses

Description:  When Stiles’ phone buzzed and lit up with the image of Lydia with two chopsticks in her mouth, he answered immediately.
“I thought I told you you can’t keep calling me up for meaningless, mind blowing sex, Lydia”.

Rating: M

Genre: Romance

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2

tf is this

Squirm

Originally posted by outerspayne

request: “luke punishes you by leaving a remote control vibrator in you in public and watches you squirm as hE ENJOYS EVERY MINUTE OF IT OH MYGOD”

warnings: swearing, smut

masterlist | request

You knew when Luke purchased it for you that it would become one of his favorite things to use on you. Luke loved to tease you, and he loved to see you at his mercy, especially in public and especially in front of his bandmates and best friends. So, that’s why Luke was sitting across from you at the dinner table smirking as he hit the big red button on the keychain in his pocket, turning up the intensity of the vibrator he’d placed deep within your folds before you’d left the house earlier.

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Gym Time

You clicked your tongue, watching your boyfriend in the mirror. While you were actually working, he was staring at you.

“Yah! Jaebum-ah! What did I tell you?!” you quickly turned your head towards him, giving him the dirtiest glare you could muster.

You had decided to go to the gym together. Big mistake on your part. Your sportswear attire consisted of leggings and a loose long sleeve, nothing too revealing…or so you thought. You knew that Jay was a butt man but really? Could he really not control himself from staring at you? Currently he had his phone out and you knew he was taking a picture of you.

You quickly set down the weights and marched towards him, grabbing the phone out of his hand. He gave you the puppy dog look and quickly stood up, holding out his hand.

“Wait, wait! Don’t delete it.” You quickly hit the red button and rolled your eyes at how many pictures there were that he had taken of you in his camera roll. Your eye twitched and you quickly slipped the phone into your shirt.

“Yah!” Jay cried out, as you walked back to your area, picking up your weights.

“You’re not getting your phone back until I’m done.”

You could hear him grumbling from behind you. You tried hiding your smile. He was such a child…and perv. But you loved him. 

Whelp, that was my first time writing and posting it up here. It’s super short lol cause I just had it in my mind and started typing. How’d you like it? On another note, who watched All I Wanna Do (K) with 1Million Dance Studio? It was amazing!

i would like to believe if someone cracked my head open they’d find a little bird sitting in a chair frantically hitting a red button that says “EJECT”

Fellow Phog fans, can we collaboratively compile a list of the things Phog mentions doing at various ages?  Example: “I haven’t felt this strong since I gave Frye a piggyback ride when I was 10!”  Some of them are really cute tidbits and others are hidden behind specific dialog branches, and I’m sure there are more of them than just these that I remember.

When Phog was…

  • 7: hit the fire alarm, because it was a big red button, and it was there.
  • ?: climbed a goalpost on the football field, also because it was there.
  • 8: went on a family trip to the Grand Canyon, had one of the best apple pies his mom ever made
  • 10: gave Frye (who would have been 16) a piggyback ride, felt strong
  • 15: apparently played football and scored the game-winning touchdown, incidentally it was also the last time anyone praised him
  • 21: was asked by Frye to buy Scotch for him, which made him feel depended upon
viral  pt. 5 | oh sehun | LAST PART |

Originally posted by awwsehun

pt.1 | pt 2. | pt. 3 | pt. 4


you hit the red button on your camera, hearing the ding that signalled you were officially recording.

you and sehun were sitting on the floor of your bedroom, sehun out of view of the camera. you began your usual video introduction adding, “and today, I have a very special guest. I would like to introduce you to him. drum roll please!”

you quickly patted your lap with your hands, creating a “drumroll” noise. looking at sehun to start doing it too, he smiled and rolled his eyes before joining you.

“oh sehun!”

sehun crawled over next to you at your spot in front of the camera.

“helloo. I am oh sehun of exo. I only agreed to this because (y/n) offered to-”

“okay that’s good!” you interjected, “great, now I have to edit that out.”

you began to talk about your relationship with sehun, telling your viewers how the two of you met, how he asked you out, & how long you’ve been together (almost a year now!). he mostly stared at you as you spoke to the camera until you finally started asking him questions to get him more involved. unsurprisingly, he teased you by answering half of the questions sarcastically or with fake enthusiasm, or both.

eventually, he did get serious, talking about how much he loved you and was so glad he made the decision to reach out to you that day.

you spoke about how even though it was hard with him being away so much, you never gave up on your relationship and only cherished your moments together even more because of it. you explained that he was the one who got you to agree to signing to a record label, and officially starting your singing career.

finally, you started to wrap up the video, thanking the viewers for watching, and asking them to subscribe and check out your other videos. waving with sehun, you reached over and hit the stop button.

later that night, after finally finishing the editing on the video, you posted it to your page labeling it “Meet My Boyfriend! Tag”.

seeing that you were all finished, sehun walked over to you and closed your computer. leading you away from your desk and towards the bed, he said, “now let’s get back to that offer you made me.”