ladies and gentlemen please be upstanding, for the national anthem

[a low murmur of annoyance. everyone stands up and looks awkwardly into the middle distance as the fanfare plays]

australians all le us rejoice faa we aah young n free. with golden soilnwealth for toil our home is girt (it means surrounded by) by sea aah land abounds in naychars gifts ahv bewdy rich and raiiiir!   in histry’s page let every stage advance astraya fair in joyful strainsthenletus sing. advance astraya faiiiirr.

[everyone looks embarassed and sits down as fast as possible]