historyforliars

April 15, 1865: President Abraham Lincoln dies after being shot. April 15, 1912: The Titanic sinks. April 15, 2013: Explosions occur at the Boston Marathon, injuring over 100 people.

WHERE: Everywhere. 

Today is a bad day. Historically, it’s been a bad day. From assassinations to disasters to travesties, it looks like tragedy likes April 15th. Let’s try to turn that around.

There are always icebergs, but we’ve found a way to navigate around those to clearer waters. Leaders will fall, but we’ve found that this tragedy gives a chance for others to rise. And disasters occur, but we’ve found that this forces us to focus on what makes us happy, so that if random acts of a-holes being a-holes do come about again, we’ll face that terror with happiness in our hearts.

We can make it a good day again. We can be happy on April 15th again. Today we won’t be. But let’s shoot for next year, okay? 

Here’s to the next April 15th, when the worst thing about this day is our taxes. Tonight, I’ll be thinking of the most historic city in the world. Maybe I’ll make fun of Paul Revere or Ben Franklin tomorrow, but tonight, I’ll be praying.

AND THIS IS WHAT’S HAPPENING.

February 13, 1920: The League of Nations recognizes Switzerland's perpetual neutrality.

WHERE: The League of Nations meeting in Geneva, Switzerland.

Members of the League of Nations, including Representatives from the US, Germany, and Brazil, are present in the meeting room. Three Swiss Representatives enter.

US: Well hello, Swiss Representatives! 

SWISS REPS: Hello.

GERMANY: Beautiful day, isn’t it? Nice and warm.

BRAZIL: What are you talking about, it’s absolutely freezing. Isn’t it freezing, Swiss?!

SWISS REP 1: I don’t know.

SWISS REP 2: It’s cold AND hot.

SWISS REP 3: You’re both right.

US: Umm…okay. Well we’re going to get the meeting started soon to talk about making you guys perpetually neutral. We’re waiting for France, but they’re late. 

GERMANY: Let’s just start without them!

BRAZIL: No way, they have to be there. We gotta wait for them.

US: What do you guys think? Should we start or wait?

SWISS REP 1: We’re good with whatever.

SWISS REP 2: What is time, anyway? 

SWISS REP 3: Let’s do both! 

US: Alright. I guess…we’ll wait?

SWISS REP 1: Sure.

US: But we could start! 

SWISS REP 1: Sure.

US: Which one is it?

SWISS REP 1: Sure.

Pause.

BRAZIL: I would really like for France to be here.

GERMANY: Okay fine, we’ll wait! But while we’re waiting we should decide where we should go for lunch.

US: Oh God.

BRAZIL: I could really go for anything today.

GERMANY: Me too.

US: Yeah. How about you guys? What do the Swiss Representatives want for lunch today?

SWISS REP 3: What are you guys thinking of?

US: You know what? We’re gonna leave it completely up to you. 

GERMANY: Yeah. Tell us what YOU want.

Pause.

SWISS REP 1: We brought our own lunches.

SWISS REP 2: Who wants to spend money on food in this economy?

US: Where’d you get the food from? 

SWISS REP 3: We got every piece of our lunch from different stores in Geneva! We shopped at all of them! 

GERMANY: Great Switzerland, just great.

There’s a long pause.

SWISS REP 1: We have to go to the bathroom.

GERMANY: Well since we’re waiting we have plenty of time.

US: The men’s bathroom is to the right and the women’s bathroom is to the right.

The Swiss Representatives leave. The US Rep follows them out the door.

BRAZIL: Which bathroom did they go to?

US: I think they’re going to both.

GERMANY: God they’re weird. 

AND THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED.

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May 12, 2013: I graduate college.

WHERE: Emerson College in Boston,MA.

I promised myself that this blog would not be about me, but I can’t deny that the most personal historic date I’ve experienced was yesterday when I graduated college. I spoke at Commencement, so here is the speech in case you’d want to watch it. You’ll get another sketch tomorrow, but when documenting this year in history, I’d like to add another happening to the bunch.