Compilation of Shakespearean Insults

  • “Villain, I️ have done thy mother”
  • “Away you three inch fool”
  • “I’ll beat thee, but I️ would infect my hands”
  • “I️ am sick when I️ do look on thee”
  • “More of your conversation would infect my brain”
  • “Thine face is not worth sunburning”
  • “Thou art unfit for any place but hell”
  • “Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat”
  • “You are as a candle, the better burnt out”
  • “Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage”
  • “Drunkenness is his best virtue”
  • “Thou crusty batch of nature!”
  • “The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes”
  • “Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes”
  • “Thou hast no more brain than I️ have in mine elbows”

as a history geek let me just say

fuck off comparing any of the Trump women to Marie Antoinette

is Ivanka trying to run a country and procreate with a stranger she married at age 15 while living in a court 100x more rigid, formal, and judgemental than the one she grew up in?


then the comparison doesn’t hold and you’re dragging an already-misunderstood historical figure through the mud, one whose popular image is 10% a product of her actual mistakes (which I’m not denying) and 90% a product of sexist bullshit about how women are vain frothy empty-headed creatures who can’t possibly understand Man Things like budgeting 

Charles Marville, photograph of the Rue Mondétour taken from the Rue Rambuteau (former Rue de la Chanverrerie), circa 1865. Another “about as close as we’re gonna get” image of the site of Hugo’s barricade. I think the high-res version has done the rounds on Tumblr before, but damn if I can find it, so here it is again.

Note the lighter horizontal band in the lower half of the picture–that’s not a crease or any other kind of damage. It’s a ghost… or more likely several ghosts. The widened Rue Rambuteau became a busy thoroughfare, and due to the long exposure time on the photograph, any passerby would’ve been reduced to a faint blur at head height.

Today I was struck by a terrible conviction that Jack Zimmermann is a hardcore hockey history nerd who can only occasionally be persuaded to care about anything else that happened in the past.

In elementary school they had to do a report on “My Hero” and Jack researched Jacques Plante and talked for an extremely excited ten minutes about how Plante had a 27-year career and won six Stanley Cups and seven Vezina trophies and was the first goalie in the NHL to play outside the crease and he engineered the use of goalie masks and was a major innovator in player safety and Jack made this papier-mache copy of Plante’s first hockey mask and his dad helped him drill out holes so he could breathe and–

“Jack, who was John Cabot?”

“I don’t know.  Did he play hockey?”

“Jack, tell us about life for settlers* in early Quebec” (*french: les habitants)

“Well, before a game the team* always used to…” (*hockey: Les Habs)

If you want him to talk nonstop for an hour, ask him what he thinks the greatest hockey game of all time was. 

He got over it his monofocus eventually, but only just by extending his laserlike concern to broader topics like “World War II”–he still doesn’t give a crap about anything outside his area of interest.  It’s still less true to say he is a history geek than to say he took every class Samwell offered related to hockey, from Sports Management to Kinesiology to Human Ecology 267: History of Leisure and Recreation, and then looked at his credits and went, “Huh, I could make a history degree out of this.”

Reasons to love Evie Frye

💗Tall lady (5'7" or 5'9" if you count the heels)

💗Leading lady

💗Female character whose assets are not sex appeal


💗Curvy but fit

💗Situationally better than or equal to Jacob

💗Not a tank, but can hold her own in a fight

💗Cinnamon roll but could kill you

💗History geek

💗Kicks enemies in the nuts

💗Done with your misogyny

💗Has a personality, motivations, and goals not motivated by Generic Romantic Interest

💗Romance subplot isn’t forced down your throat

💗Loves information and data but believes in ghosts

💗Mom friend

💗Skill set actually supports her character and doesn’t hold her back when something isn’t her specialty

💗Wardrobe is modest and suits the time period (corsets, heels, silk details, etc)

💗Character development

💗Interacts with Jacob like a real sibling

💗Frustrations with Jacob’s shortcomings are justified (like when Jacob crashed the economy)

💗Badass and she knows it

Why I Don’t Think Victorian Mourning Practices Were Creepy

(a much-requested post)

so for those of you unfamiliar with the topic, a brief primer. Victorians had a very formal mourning culture; the bereaved would dress in certain ways for certain periods of time, special mourning jewelry often made of jet and pearls was very popular, and practices we look askance at today like post-mortem photography and the production of wax mourning dolls wearing the clothes of dead children were commonplace

okay I’m not actually sure about the mourning dolls. it’s a popularly-cited “tradition” that I can’t find any 100% certain evidence of. there definitely are wax baby and child dolls with real hair presented in elaborate boxes, but devotional wax dolls meant to depict the baby Jesus were also a thing, so- anyway. getting off topic there.

post-mortem photography in particular appears in listicles with titles like “10 WTF Things Victorians Did!” and that really irritates me, because it’s just how people dealt with grieving. if we look- really look -at our modern culture, very few of these practices have gone away. they’ve just become informal and personalized, rather than being part of a formal, near-universal mourning culture

many parents still save a lock of a baby’s hair, even if they don’t make elaborate hairwork jewelry with it. we still assign special meaning to a ring given us by a dead relative, or a locket. post-mortem photography still exists; there are post-mortem photographs of my late older brother at his funeral, and in an age where photography is a matter of tapping a screen, pictures of the deceased in life are more likely to exist and negate the need for posed corpse photos. we still wear black to funerals and some people wear black armbands for longer to indicate mourning, though the custom is fast-disappearing. all that’s really gone is the understood public face of mourning

and I feel like that’s not entirely a good thing. there’s no universal way to say “I’m grieving; please understand and take that into account.” we’re expected to get back to normal as soon as possible and be unaffected by the loss of a loved one (if not explicitly then tacitly, as seen in the societal messages around us). it’s my belief that the period of mourning allowed people to take more time with the natural grieving process

of course, the flip side of that was that grieving could be dishonest and force people into uncomfortable situations. a widow whose abusive husband died, for example, would be expected to mourn for at least two years (and a large chunk of that in the veil and uncomfortable ultra-conservative black gowns of deepest mourning)

so in the end, I don’t feel like one or the other is really better. nowadays we have a more personalized form of mourning, but we’re expected to be okay again as soon as possible and people don’t really know what to do with someone who is grieving. in the 19th century they had this codified, public mourning that everyone recognized and understood, but those rules could force people into mourning in a way that wasn’t comfortable for them (or even necessary, sometimes). however, I do not in any way feel that Victorian mourning culture was creepy

we’re all just trying to cope with one of the most heartbreaking things one can experience in the best way possible. regardless of time and place. and if people can’t see the emotions of loss and longing behind even the more esoteric mourning practices of the 19th century, I don’t know what to tell them

All the Podcasts You’ll Need for Halloween

stay sweet and spooky!

  • Spirits: A Drunken Dive into Myths and Legends: A boozy biweekly podcast about mythology, legends, and lore. Hear fresh takes on classic myths and learn new stories from a round the world, served up over the ice by two tipsy history geeks.
  • Mabel: Mabel is a fiction podcast about ghosts, family secrets, strange houses, and missed connections.
  • Diary Of A Madman: Have you ever wondered why people do horrible things to one another? What could drive a man to hurt, harm, or even kill? Finally, we may have an answer. Follow along as, each week, we feature the recorded diary entries of someone known only as “the madman”. Get inside his head and get twisted.
  • Limetown: Ten years ago, over three hundred men, women, and children disappeared from a small town in Tennessee, never to be heard from again. In this seven-part podcast, American Public Radio host Lisa Haddock asks the question once more, “What happened to the people of Limetown?
  • LORE: Lore is a bi-weekly podcast about the history behind scary stories. The people, places, and things of our darkest nightmares all have real facts at their core. Each episode of Lore looks into a uniquely scary tale and uncovers the truth of what’s behind it. Sometimes the truth is more frighting than fiction.
  • Archive 81: A few weeks ago, my friend Daniel Powell disappeared. Before he vanished, he send me hours and hours of audio he’d collected while working as an archivist for the HHCNYS. The tapes..are strange.
  • SPINES: Two months ago, Wren woke up covered in blood, suffering from memory loss, and surrounded by the remnants of some strange cult ritual.
  • The Magnus Archives: Make your statement, face your fear. A weekly horror fiction podcast examining what lurks in the archives of the Magnus Institute, an organization dedicated to researching the esoteric and the weird.
  • The Black Tapes: The Black Tapes is a weekly podcast from the creators of Pacific Northwest Stories, and is hosted by Alex Regan. The Black tapes Podcast is a serialized docudrama about one journalist’s search for the truth, her subject’s mysterious past, and the literal and figurative ghosts that haunt them both. Do you believe?
  • Friend of the Family: Where the narrator is a character, the two leads hate each other, fighting the supernatural is sometimes disappointingly mundane, talking to family members can be a terrible idea, and a 16-year-old girl is infinitely more exciting about stabbing a lot of things than she is about boys.
  • TANIS: Tanis is a serialized docudrama about a fascinating and surprising mystery: the myth of Tanis. Tanis is an exploration of the nature of truth, conspiracy, and information. Tanis is what happens when the lines of science and fiction start to blur…
  • Return Home: A serialized radio drama that follows the story of Johnathan Barker, who is compelled to return home to Melancholy Falls, NJ to investigate the strange things that have been going on in town and discover his purpose.
  • The NoSleep Podcast: The Nosleep Podcast is a multi-award wining anthology series of original horror stories,with rich atmospheric music to enhance the frightening tales.
  • Small Town Horror: A bi-weekly serialized docudrama about one man’s search for answers in his hometown, the site of his own mysterious kidnapping 18 years ago. Are the answers he seeks worth the cost of returning to the place known as Crazytown?
  • Manor House: Manor House presents both original and classic horror stories through a combination of acting, music, effects, and a supernatural host.
  • Sable: Every week, Lane comes to you with another tale from the odd town of Sable. Tune in to find out some of it’s deepest, darkest secrets as well as some of it’s…well, rather odd figures.
  • Wormwood: A Serialized Mystery: Tragedy forced Doctor Xander Crowe down the dark pathways of the occult, and the man was forever transformed. Now, chasing the vision of a drowned woman, Crowe finds himself in the haunted town of Wormwood, where evils lurks in the shadows and the stains the souls of its inhabits. Welcome to Wormwood.
  • Uncanny County: Robots gone haywire. Killer clown demons. And pie. So. Much. Pie. This quirky, darkly comic, Southwestern-flavored podcast brings you a new, paranormal audio play every month. Sit back, relax, and hold on tight Because you’re about to take a quick detour…through Uncanny County.

Prompt:Your favourite episode of Doctor Who set in a historical period
The Girl in the Fireplace
For @gallihafry

“One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel.”

History Tutor Harrison (head canon)

Inspired by the lovely @pleasantly-parker moodboard

- Glasses, he would always have his glasses on

- He’d have such a soft boyfriend look, with sweaters all the time

- He’d be so nervous the first time you two started working together

- So so so knowledgable 

- He’d just go off on some tangent about some war you know nothing about

- He’d get you hooked on the history of the World Wars, how the role of women changed, and the beginning of mental health studies

- When you started to engage more in class he would be so proud 

- One day he’d decide to take you on a ‘field trip’ to a local museum that had a special exhibit on World War I

- When he saw you looking at the exhibit and how fascinated you had become he would 100% start falling for you

- He’d start making your tutoring sessions more fun, less time in the school library and more time out and about researching the cities history

- Slowly he’d get more brave inviting you over to his place to study 

- You’d start to notice, but didn’t say anything, you were enjoying the time you spent with him 

- He was the first guy that didn’t just assume you were dumb right off the bat

- He took his time when teaching you, finding ways to help you understand the material in a more interesting way

- One day you decided that you were tired of waiting for him to make a move, so one day when you were out on one of your ‘field trips’, you’d subtly slide your hand into his

- You’d notice his face go a little bit red, but he righted his grip on your hand and absently begin to rub the back of your hand with his thumb

I actually really like this fad of spelling stuff wrong on purpose. You know, like “smol” and stuff? Anyway, in the 1800’s there was a similar fad. And everyone started spelling “all correct” “oll korrekt” and it was like a really common phrase. And then people started abbreviating it: OK. Which is of course where we get okay. So time to come up with another world-changing spelling change guys

Why didn't Victorians smile in photos?

It wasn’t because they were all dour 24/7. It wasn’t because they saw photos as Grand Dignified Fancy Portraits. It wasn’t even because they physically couldn’t hold smiles that long.

It was because smiles don’t look natural when you hold them for as long as the exposures took back then.

Photos were an event, it’s true, but the highest goal was an attractive NATURAL representation. Not as formal an image as possible, but a good likeness. Photographers recommended, instead of smiling, ways to make the face look as natural as possible. They recommended you say “bosom” right before the exposure started.

So the next time you see a portrait of stiff-looking Victorians, don’t think that they had no fun or wanted to look prim.

Think that they basically said “tits” right before the picture was taken.

I love random historical stuff. Today’s excerpt is brought to you by James I/VI (England/Scotland - also known as Mary Queen of Scots’ twatty son) and his boyfriend George.

Things you should know about these lads:

  • George was nicknamed “Steenie”, supposedly after St. Stephen who was described as having “the face of an angel”, because apparently he was universally acknowledged as super-hot
  • George pretty much called James ‘daddy’. It’s in their letters. James called himself that too
  • Speaking of which: sugar daddy extraordinaire. There was a 20-something age gap. James got his sweetheart a load of titles and ranks and elevated him so far that people were appalled. James even dissolved Parliament to keep them from impeaching his boo. Twice.
  • James didn’t give a fig for public opinion and told the privy council “I, James, am neither a god nor an angel, but a man like any other. Therefore I act like a man and confess to loving those dear to me more than other men. You may be sure that I love the Earl of Buckingham more than anyone else, and more than you who are here assembled”.
  • They were regularly scandalous with petting and kissing each other in public.
  • James referred to himself as Steenie’s husband in letters to him and even said “I had rather live banished in any part of the earth with you than live a sorrowful widow’s life without you”
  • Steenie responded just as ardently, writing “I will live and die a lover of you”
  • Not to mention the poet who noted “it is well known that the king of England / has union with the Duke of Buckingham”
  • Oh and let’s not forget the secret passage between their bedrooms that was found in during restoration work at one of the palaces.

Annnnnnnnd of course, historians immediately declare these were passionate letters of friendship ;)

Guys, you literally have contemporary accounts saying that they were all over each other. You have the comments to the Privy Council where James is recorded as saying he loved the man. You have their Sekrit Love Letters which they declare each other husband and lover. But no. Of course. Hetero bros.

anonymous asked:

Have you got any classic queer lit recommendations? (would prefer focusing on women, but watevs) I've read mlle de maupin and the girl with the golden eyes, loved them both, but I'm struggling to come up with more than that :(

Hmmm, let’s see! Focusing in on Romantic-era French lit here because that’s the closest thing I have to an area of expertise:

  • That Eugénie Danglars subplot in The Count of Monte Cristo is p. much Textual Lesbians All Over (and there are also some shenanigans with crossdressing bandits near the beginning), just make sure to pick up an unabridged edition because for mysterious unaccountable reasons it’s always one of the first things to be cut
  • I… haven’t actually read Balzac's Cousin Bette (or its male counterpart, Cousin Pons), but I’ve been assured on good authority that both of them are pretty fuckin’ gay
  • George Sand wrote a play, Gabriel, about a girl raised as a boy. The first act is played straight (no pun intended) according to the grand theatrical traditions of “male protag meets female protag while she’s in drag, falls for her anyway, freaks out, and then all is revealed and they’re happily married off.” The second act is an Into the Woods-style deconstruction where Gabriel(le)… um… doesn’t adjust very well to the role of ‘wife,’ and things go downhill from there. IDK if it’s available in English translation anywhere. :(
  • Sand's Lélia is kind of queer-adjacent–it is very much about the shit roles available for women, traditional marriage as a respectable form of prostitution, and the stunting of female desire in a culture where love is dominated by male violence and possession. The discussions of 'frigidity’ are mostly relevant to asexuality, but it was also scandalous at the time for some minor but very suggestive scenes between two sisters.
  • I feel kind of crass putting Gamiani on this list, because it’s terribad Evil Lesbians porn that Alfred de Musset 'anonymously’ wrote while he was on the outs with George Sand… but on the other hand the French Romantics writing RPF about each other will never not be entertaining.
  • Sylvia Townsend Warner's Summer Will Show was written in the 1930s but set during the revolution of 1848, and stars an independent but rather staid Englishwoman who moves to Paris and proceeds to fall in love with her husband’s mistress, a Jewish revolutionary half-actress half-strumpet wild child.
  • Okay fine I know it has absolutely fuckall to do with the French Romantics, but if you haven’t read The Well of Loneliness yet you should totally do it

That’s all I’ve got off the top of my head for female-centric lit (besides a couple of poems in Les Fleurs du Mal, “Lesbos” and “The Damned Women”). For textual male gay, the gold star recommendation will always be Balzac’s Vautrin trilogy, Old Goriot, Lost Illusions, and A Harlot High and Low–featuring the most magnificent bastard of them all, who has a taste for Faustian bargains with pretty young men. For not-all-that-subtextual male gay in prison, check out Hugo's Claude Gueux.

If you want androgyny and genderfuck the offerings are a little more obscure–there’s the aforementioned Gabriel, Balzac’s short stories Sarrasine (about a painter who falls for a castrato who’s living as a woman) and Séraphîta (which I have not read, but is apparently weird and philosophical in its approach to androgyny), and a poorly written but historically interesting novel by Henri de Latouche called Fragoletta, whose title character is intersex. The Balzac ones miiiight be available in English somewhere; Fragoletta isn’t easy to find even in French.

Also, if you’re interested in alienation-from-society angst and repression so thick it has to erase the actual subject of its anxiety and make it into a cipher, hoo boy have I got some stories to tell you about the 1820s Romantics. Nobody in these books is actually gay, but… well. The whole thing got set off when the Marquis de Custine broke off a promising engagement for reasons that looked completely inexplicable at the time. (Spoilers: he was flamingly gay. He wasn’t publicly outed until some years later, but man, he was gay as a sunny June morning.)

Keep reading


It’s kind of appalling how little LGBT history gets recorded and preserved. I’ve gotten to know the history of my hometown pretty thoroughly, and I know that there has to be gay part of it, but there’s absolutely nothing available to acknowledge that. 

If you’re an LGBT history geek, talk to your elders! write down what they have to say! encourage them to donate their things to museums and collections where they can teach future generations that gays have always been here!

People: “Why do you like all that history stuff?”

Me: *peeks around from the room where it happens wearing a Continental coat, holding the Declaration of Independence, caressing a picture of Ben Tallmadge, and holding up an enormous American flag with the sounds of gunshots, drums, and an eagle screeching in the distance* “I don’t like. I OBSESS”

anonymous asked:

So I've recently noticed something in the comic in the legend of the iron wolf where Liet and Poland were taking about their capital's legends. And there was this man in the background saying "it's been a while since I've seen mr. Poland joking around" and I got very curious of that. Maybe you know why he said that? It's been bothering me for some time now. Does Poland has a side that he doesn't show to others and wears a smile instead? Is that why he acts egoistical? Thank you

Considering Poland’s history, he clearly had decades where he had to endure great suffering. Many just see the German occupation of Poland from 1939 to 1944, but that’s rather narrowly minded. Poland suffered in world war one, too, when Germany expanded to the east. Germany basically won the war in the east in WW1, signing a peace treaty with Russia in 1917. Poland formally belonged to Germany then until the treaty of Versailles was signed.
Furthermore, after the Nazi’s defeat, Poland stood under harsh indirect soviet rule. Unlike Nazism that basically died after more or less 15 years, the Soviet Union existed until 1991. Though Poland’s liberator, the Red Army and Stalin brought suffering to the nation again, though it was a different type of suffering. Economy was restricted. People were rather poor and hungry. Though not directly part of the Union, Poland had no choice but be ruled by very Soviet-friendly communists.
And even before the 20th century, Poland’s history was blood stained. The country had a more than suboptimal position as it had Russia to the east and Germany, earlier Austria-Hungary and Prussia, to the west.

Recently, especially in comparison to the 20th century, Poland goes through brighter times. Now in an alliance with Germany through the EU and the Nato, safety and economy have been improved as communism has turned into capitalism and isolation to globalization.

Looking at Warsaw in particular, it’s been the heart of Poland through all these years and decades. With events like the Warsaw Uprising in 1944, it resembles the strength of the Polish people to fight back in times of terror and incredible suffering. It also bears witness to the atrocities this country has experienced.

After this incredibly long lesson of Polish history, I think aph Poland does have a lot of sorrow inside of him. He had to see his people being kicked around for literally decades. With his seemingly high confidence, he might want to hide his fears and insecurities that are a result of his history.
(I want to point out I am not Polish and not an expert of its history, so if I got something wrong, doooont kill me..!)

@imaginehetaliadorks Do you agree with me?