history major hippo

1. Denial - “No, it’s fine. I have plenty of time. It’s like, not even a big deal. Whatever.”

2. Anger - “Fuck you, Winston Churchill. I hope you choke on a cigar in hell and die one thousand deaths, you dead British fuck.”

3. Bargaining - “If I do one page an hour with fifteen minute breaks every forty five minutes … or one page every half hour with thirty minute breaks, and then do some more highlighting … ”

4. Depression - “I’m not going to finish this paper, which means I’m not going to pass this class, which means I’m never going to graduate, which means I’M GOING TO BE HOMELESS OH GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME.”

5. Acceptance - “It’s all going to be ok. It’s not like I was going to be earning above minimum wage for the rest of my life anyway.”