history derp

So I learned my new favorite history fact in my AP US class today. It’s hilarious and goes a bit like this

In 1989, President Bush sent troops to Panama to capture the dictator and drug lord, Manuel Noriega. But Noriega had fled to (I had to look up the full name) the Apostolic Nunciature of the Holy See. The troops couldn’t exactly get in, so they surrounded the place and has to wait him out, or somehow force him out.
And it’s crazy how they did it.
The literal United States Navy SEALs did this
And it is real history

They blasted rock and roll music for days until he gave up

Apparently, Noriega only liked opera, so this annoyed him.
But it gets better.
The playlist was not only obnoxiously loud and obnoxiously American, it had a sense of irony.
Here are some highlights:

Danger Zone
Freedom Fighter
Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down
Give It Up
I Fought the Law and the Law Won
If I Had a Rocket Launcher
Nowhere to Run
Prisoner of Rock and Roll
Rock and a Hard Place
Stay Hungry
They’re Coming to Take Me Away
This Means War
Wanted Dead or Alive

And my personal favorite, and a thing that actually happened:
Never Gonna Give You Up

I just…
Imagine the board meeting
“Huh, how are we going to force this guy out of hiding?”
“Oh, I have an idea! Why don’t we blast loud rock music?”
“That just might work! And we should do it with a sense of irony, just to make it funnier!”

I love people’s handwritings, like

Webster’s is really loopy and messy and he’s just thinking too fast to write well

Clay’s is absolutely perfect of course, I mean that’s how he even got into law in the first place

Calhoun does the same t-crossing that I do!!!!  Also some of the dashes of his ts don’t quite make it onto the body of the word

Benton’s is sparse and manly and a little bit frilly with that capital D there but

oh my fucking god Van Buren how do you expect people to read that I know you’re not from around here but really?  really?


Fillmore has the cutest handwriting ever oh lordy you can almost imagine what his voice sounds like because his writing is so neat and feminine and he tries so hard to come off as worldly and educated because he’s so ashamed of his lack of education my darling bb

If you think we are stupid you should take a look at these old pictures, I mean

hi there i’m an elk posing by my crow how about that

omg where did you buy your gloves so trendy 

what is this chernobyl the musical?

nah bro just chillin

vogue outfit for war, dont forget the cat hat 

people in the past were weird too, they just didn’t have facebook.