historical bamfs

Can we talk about Ada Lovelace for a minute though because she is one of the biggest history bamfs that not many people have heard of, and if it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t be using the computer that you’re using now to read this eulogistic shit:

  • Firstly, look how bitchin’ she was. That sass was handed down to her by both her parents; the super intelligent Lady Anna Isabella Milbanke, who received a Cambridge University education in her own home in the very early 1800s, all whilst having a vagina, and the mad, bad and dangerous to know Lord George Byron (yes, that Lord Byron). Basically, Ada’s genetics were plucked straight from the tree of promise and flowered into the fruits of genius. Badass. 

  • Byron left Ada’s mother when Ada was only a baby, and her mother never forgave him. In an attempt to prevent Ada from turning out to be as ‘morally fractured’ as her father, her mother banned her from pursuing any of the Arts, instead insisting that she focus on Mathematics and Science. She also banned Ada from seeing any portrait of her father until she was 20, which is a bit weird, all things told. This didn’t really have the desired effect - although Ada became highly interested in both philosophies, she also developed a deep sense of interest and admiration for her father, whom she never met, and who died in Greece when she was 8. Essentially, her mother’s insistence that she become anything but alike to her father made her want to be like him even more. Rad. 

  • Armed with a wish to be more than just a Mathematician, Ada developed her own scientific approach which she called 'poetical science’, which essentially meant she used both her highly trained logistical skills and her inherent creativity to ask bigger questions, and get better answers. This is what later allowed her to see the potential in an already established computing machine (we shall discuss that later). Girl got shit done. A+.

  • When she was 27, she translated an article written by an Italian dude, Luigi Manabrea (yeah, the dude who later became President of Italy. Nbd), about Charles Babbage’s 'Analytical Engine’; a mechanical machine largely agreed by historians as the first functional computer. When translating the article, Ada added an extensive supplementary of notes, which she entitled 'Notes’ (she wasn’t one to fuck around). These notes contained what is generally recognised as the first computer algorithm.

  • She then began to write extensively on the capabilities of Babbage’s machine. While most engineers, including Babbage himself, only believed that the machine was capable of basic number crunching, Ada didn’t agree. She foresaw that, with the correct algorithm applied, the machine could be capable of many other tasks, such as composing music to 'any degree of complexity or extent’. She basically predicted Garageband. 

  • Her published algorithm, recognised as the first computer programme by most reputable scientists (we’ll get to that later) was an algorithm designed to allow the Analytical Engine to calculate Bernoulli numbers. I don’t even know how to explain that, mostly because I’m not Ada Lovelace, but rest assured that Bernoulli numbers are complicated as shit and it was all very impressive. Bitchin’. 

  • After her death, many small-brained and smaller-dicked male mathematicians of the time began to realise something with a dawning sense of horror. Ada Lovelace had been a woman, and she’d made huge contributions to their field. Luckily for them, she’d been largely overlooked in life due to the fact that she had a chromosomal deficiency known as 'being a biological female’, and so they were able to discredit her fairly easily. Although Babbage himself wrote that the algebraic formula used to create the algorithm was 'entirely her own’, apart from the Bernoulli number formula itself (which Babbage wrote out but Ada later corrected), and that he 'suggested that she add some notes to Manabrea’s memoir’, the selection of which 'was entirely her own’, many modern historians still maintain that Ada’s contributions were minimal. Babbage historian Bruce Collier wrote that Babbage himself authored the notes on Manabrea’s article, and that Ada had an 'amazing delusion’ about her own talents, and only a 'shallow understanding’ of the Analytical Engine. When did he write this? The enlightened, gender equal age of 1990. 

So, in a nutshell, Ada Lovelace was a complete and utter bamf. Throw into the works the fact that she became an expert in bird anatomy at the age of 12 because she wanted to design wings that would fly; she almost eloped at 18 but was found out; and she dismissed her children’s schoolteacher because he kept trying to have an affair with her, and you get the idea; Ada Lovelace has been sorely overlooked by history, largely because she committed the heinous crime of being born a woman.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I'm not sure if you take rec requests, but it says "anything" so here goes : ) I've been desperately searching around for a list of good whumped/hurt Erik fics, or any whumped Erik at all really, and I've come up empty. Help?!? I particularly love weepy/woobie Erik, but I can't seem to find much of that either. Any ideas? Thanks a mill : )

Hello anon! Here are a couple of hurt!erik fics that I liked.

Wir Schützen Was Wir Lieben - Cylin {NC-17 |Mansion!fic |Hurt!Erik |Protective!Charles |Protective!Everyone |Bottom!Erik}
Erik comes back to the mansion hurt. The kids try to help - they really try - but things escalate. What has happened to Erik affects all their relationships, but most severely Charles’s and Erik’s.

Stitches - Amuly {PG-13 |Recruiting |Hurt!Erik |Fluff}
Set during the bromance recruiting montage, Erik gets injured and needs stitches. Charles patches him up.

Point-blank - keire_ke {PG-13 |Hurt!Erik |Powerful!Charles |Kidnapped!Erik |Humans vs Mutants}
Not too long after the Cuban missile crisis, Erik is captured. Charles rescues him.

stormy seas and smooth sailing - psychobabblers {PG-13 |Humans vs mutants |Kidnapped!Erik |Hurt!Erik |Post-XMFC}
Post movie. Erik’s capture by the human governments leads to an unexpected rebuilding of his and Charles’s relationship.

Point of Intersection - nixajane {PG-13 |Canon!AU |Kidnapped!Erik |Hurt!Erik}
Movie alternate ending. Charles stops Erik from launching those missiles, but doesn’t stop him leaving. Now Erik has been taken prisoner, and Charles can think of nothing but getting him back.

Okay, I Feel Better Now - Harleydoll {PG-13 |Mutant!AU |Hurt/Comfort |Hurt!Charles |Hurt!Erik |Protective!Erik |Mental Health Issues |Suspense}
The AU in which Erik is sent to a mental health facility after being convicted for Shaw’s murder and pleads insanity, and Charles is his paranoid schizophrenic of a roommate. Powers, Hellfire conspiracies, protective!Erik, and of course the inevitable angst.

Taken By His Majesty - Pookaseraph {NC-17 |Historical!AU |Bottom!Erik |BAMF!Charles |Slave!Erik |Dub-con}
Erik’s mission was simple, sneak into the Celtic pretender king’s tent, assassinate him, and return to Rome with his father’s honor restored. Unfortunately, he didn’t count on Charles. When the prince chooses to take him as his personal slave, Erik feared the worst, and his concerns weren’t entirely unwarranted. The worst, however, turns out to be falling in love with the greatest enemy of Rome’s primacy in Briton. A historical romance set during the early days of Rome’s occupation of Briton.


Author: bleep0bleep

Summary: Stiles wakes up and suddenly the war is over, he’s no longer a penniless mage, and living in an exquisite manor married to the man he’s been in love with for far too long.

“It’ll be fine,” Stiles says gallantly. “I am certain I will just fall in love with my husband all over again, and I will find plenty of joy doing that.” He winks at Derek for good measure.
Derek blinks.

Info: 23k | Teen and Up | Historical AU, Amnesia, Magic!Stiles

Notes: This fic has all my favorite tropes! Historical AU with magic!Stiles and even some temporary amnesia in the middle. Just two dumb boys in love with a lot of misunderstandings and fluff in the middle. So worth the read! -C

Sneak Peek:

And sleeping on a chaise lounge, is Derek Hale.

Lord Derek Hale, the youngest member of the Senate, who Stiles met when the Mage’s Guild declared his new energy renewal potions illegal to market, who voted against Stiles’ appeal and publicly spoke out on it. Hale is widely regarded as the most handsome (Stiles has no argument against that) and most eligible bachelor in the Capitol, but he is quite possibly the most infuriating person Stiles has ever met.

The time Stiles spent trying to get Lord Hale to change his position were the most frustrating and thrilling months of his life— he spent every day arguing with Hale, getting his work challenged and going home and researching more and reworking his potions. By the end of it all, the work Stiles put into improving the potion made it much more effective and also removed the side effect of the energy crash as well.

In that time Stiles learned way more about politics than he wanted to and found that his newest favorite thing was to argue with Lord Hale. He never felt more alive, never found someone whose dry humor he enjoyed teasing so thoroughly. Derek ended up consulting with Stiles about a few new bills on the table in the Senate, and they ended up working together, researching long hours into the night.

More proof that Early-19th Century Spanish broads are not to be fucked with:

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Agustina de Aragón

You don’t get a title like “The Spanish Joan of Arc” without busting a few skulls.  On June 15, 1808, Napoleon’s army stood ready to siege the Spanish town of Zaragoza.  Agustina arrived at the Portillo with a basket of apples to refresh the defending soldiers.  After watching her city’s defenders break ranks and get their asses royally handed to them by the French bayonets, Agustina threw down her fruit, loaded a canon, lit the fuse, and blew away a wave of French invaders at point blank range.  Augustina’s courage inspired the men of her town to continue the fight, holding off on the invaders for the day.  

Despite eventually losing the town of Zaragoza, being captured and watching her first-born son die at the hands of French soldiers, Agustina mounted a daring escape from her prison and became a rebel leader for the guerrilleros.  

It was during her time as a rebel leader that Agustina and her troops began receiving supplies and training from the Duke of Wellington.  Eventually joining the allied forces, Agustina was the only female officer under Wellington and ultimately rose to the ranks of Captain.  On June 21, 1813, Agustina acted as Front Line Battery Commander at the Battle of Vitoria, where she continued her canon blasting badassery. The Battle of Vitoria was seen as the battle that smashed the French invaders and forced Napoleon’s army out of Spain.  

After the war, Agustina settled down, married a doctor, and proceeded to be a badass old lady who would walk around her village completely decked out in all the medals she earned for her war efforts.  

I took a "Which Historical Lunatic are you?" quiz. And this dude I got, is hilarious.

Seriously, read this, it’s worth it.

You are Joshua Abraham Norton, first and only Emperor of the United States of America!

Born in England sometime in the second decade of the nineteenth century, you carved a notable business career, in South Africa and later San Francisco, until an entry into the rice market wiped out your fortune in 1854. After this, you became quite different. The first sign of this came on September 17, 1859, when you expressed your dissatisfaction with the political situation in America by declaring yourself Norton I, Emperor of the USA. You remained as such, unchallenged, for twenty-one years.

Within a month you had decreed the dissolution of Congress. When this was largely ignored, you summoned all interested parties to discuss the matter in a music hall, and then summoned the army to quell the rebellious leaders in Washington. This did not work. Magnanimously, you decreed (eventually) that Congress could remain for the time being. However, you disbanded both major political parties in 1869, as well as instituting a fine of $25 for using the abominable nickname “Frisco” for your home city.

Your days consisted of parading around your domain - the San Francisco streets - in a uniform of royal blue with gold epaulettes. This was set off by a beaver hat and umbrella. You dispensed philosophy and inspected the state of sidewalks and the police with equal aplomb. You were a great ally of the maligned Chinese of the city, and once dispersed a riot by standing between the Chinese and their would-be assailants and reciting the Lord’s Prayer quietly, head bowed.

Once arrested, you were swiftly pardoned by the Police Chief with all apologies, after which all policemen were ordered to salute you on the street. Your renown grew. Proprietors of respectable establishments fixed brass plaques to their walls proclaiming your patronage; musical and theatrical performances invariably reserved seats for you and your two dogs. (As an aside, you were a good friend of Mark Twain, who wrote an epitaph for one of your faithful hounds, Bummer.) The Census of 1870 listed your occupation as “Emperor”.

The Board of Supervisors of San Francisco, upon noticing the slightly delapidated state of your attire, replaced it at their own expense. You responded graciously by granting a patent of nobility to each member. Your death, collapsing on the street on January 8, 1880, made front page news under the headline “Le Roi est Mort”. Aside from what you had on your person, your possessions amounted to a single sovereign, a collection of walking sticks, an old sabre, your correspondence with Queen Victoria and 1,098,235 shares of stock in a worthless gold mine. Your funeral cortege was of 30,000 people and over two miles long.

The burial was marked by a total eclipse of the sun.

anonymous asked:

latest fic recs? i love you btw and trust ur judgement, im in much need of fanfiction at the moment to ignore IRL responsibiites

You’re too sweet, Nonny! This list will be sad and short because I have been woefully fic-deprived as of late. Which is 100% my own fault— well, my life’s fault, really. Who even needs real life. Who even needs a JOB when there’s 115k historical AUs to be read. Anyway, five great fics I read in the past few weeks:

A Desperate Arrangement by mikkimouse (115k)
I know I already recced this yesterday but YOU NEED TO READ IT. A forced marriage historical AU epic with BAMF magic!Stiles, what more could you WANT. This is everything. I didn’t even really like magic Stiles before and now I want everything ever to be magic Stiles always.

The Division by traveller (11k)
Grim and different.

Knot Again by prettylittlementirosa (5k)
How was I even supposed to resist a fic with a summary like this:

Our friends they don’t know how to knock
But dammit Derek I love your cock
So stick it in

It’s not a sin
To knot me so hard I cannot walk

Or: Five times Derek and Stiles are interrupted while tied together by Derek’s knot, and one time they’re not.

One Hale of a Review by clawstoagunfight (5k)
Because who doesn’t need a fic about Derek earnestly reviewing sex toys. (The answer is no one. There is no one on this planet who doesn’t need a fic about Derek earnestly reviewing sex toys.)

my heart’s been offline by thepsychicclam (59k)
To quote my own comment on this: “God this was great. MUTUAL PINING! DICK PICS! MORE PINING! MILD ANGST! SEX! MORE MILD ANGST! MORE SEX! Amazing.”